itookashot | Abraxas Inbox

{March
[A small token heart with a number 1 carved into it is left on Jesper's pillow with no word, or note to go along with it.]

{April
[Another wooden heart token has appeared on Jesper's pillow, this time with a 2 carved into it. Perhaps the approximation handwriting in that carving is familiar enough, should he wish to investigate the concept further.]

[when the caravans arrive from their travels to drop off supplies from not-so-far-off lands, certain parcels get pulled away and taken to go through customs. they are not for businesses nor for sale, but for individuals. the fact that they are for summoned individuals raise an eyebrow.

and so, through customs it goes, opened, inspected, and then—when none of the items are deemed as questionable—they are repackaged and sent to their designated recipients.

jesper will receive a couple of items. one is a pair of wooden combs, soaps, and several bottles that, upon closer inspection, will reveal to contain shampoo, conditioner, and lotions.

there is no letter explaining the contents of the parcel, but there is a single note. it is blank at first, until jesper holds it, and then swathes of scarlet magic will reveal writing, as if it were happening right in the moment by an invisible hand:

Please share these with Inej. Be well.]

[The words that appear are shaky and hastily scrawled with no attention paid to anything but getting the words down.]

jesper please tell me youre alright

please be alright

[ Jesper's pissed but not at Mat, so he responds right away. ]

I'm alright.

They destroyed Libertas. Not Cadens. Wiped it off the bloody map.

i know

they showed us jesper

they showed us while they did it

but they didnt say where

i dont know what happened

They wanted you all to think they blew up Cadens, otherwise they would have clarified.

What happened is that Thorne wanted an excuse and they got one. Which is pretty suspicious considering ALL of the delegates got attacked. And now Free Cities has an excuse to attack.

Mat, you all need to get out of there.

they say it was the cities that moved first

a court mage was murdered

that is unlikely to be an option now

They're lying. EVERYONE was attacked at the same time.

Mat, I'm going to find a way, and I'm going to come and get you and Rhy and anyone else there. This isn't our war, I'm not letting any of us be collateral for their bullshit!

someones playing a very complicated game aren't they?

jesper dont be a fucking idiot. its no safer you trying to get in than me trying to get out. we cant be stupid about this. im not in immediate danger.

Yes, I don't know if it's one of the leaders or someone else. Someone else did get all the Summoned out of Thorne and they haven't been seen since. There could be another group involved. We don't know.

Listen, I know Free Cities, they wanted this. They have been waiting for it. They're not going to hit one of Thorne's lesser cities, they're going to go for the castle!

I'm not running there now but I'm going to make a plan and we're going to make it happen because I'm not leaving you in that castle!

i fucking hate politics

jesper...

your passion is both touching and humbling but this isn't some romance ballad. the lands in which we live are at war. openly and truly now. we have got to be smart about this. heads down. if the cities are going to attack you couldn't get here in time anyway.

if everyone was waiting for things to ignite then they're going to be prepared. thorne struck first so they had time to prepare for retaliation. i'm safe right now.

let me worry about me. i'm excellent at it.

This is not my first time navigating an impossible situation, Mat. I’m going to make a plan I’m not going to just run off, but you’re my friend and my lover and I don’t leave those in danger.

Maybe we should all get out. It’s not like here is safe either. We could go to the Singularity and the area around it where none of them can get to.

and it's not my first time being under threat of danger. i am asking you jesper to hold off on any plans. i can't live with myself if something happens to you. and we don't know what tomorrow's going to bring.

a lovely thought but not in the least sustainable.

A lot of people died. We can see the smoke from here.

I know. What I saw was enough to make me sick up.

But you and I are still here. And logically speaking, we here in the madlands are too valuable to the crown to not defend spectacularly.

Once they let us go there, we'll know how bad it was. The Summoned here want to help out, but don't know if there are many people left to help.

We should've all run for Solvunn! Maybe quiet farmland is the best.

I hope it's not as bad as it looked from here.

Fuck me, maybe we should have. But we didn't and now we're stuck in opposing kingdoms, with only magic to reach out to one another. I suppose if nothing else I could give ballad writing a try, I think I've enough experience to pen one at this point.

[ Jesper has to laugh, despite everything. ]

Are you telling me you're going to write an epic tragic romance about us?

Because low key I'm into it.

No I'm just saying that it would make a good one. I've never actually written a ballad in my life, and the gleeman that taught me didn't get that far in our lessons.

I can't even play an instrument beyond the hand drum. What we'd end up with is a bizarre poem.

Well now I'm just disappointed, Mat.

I probably shouldn't be flirting with you at a time like this but it's better than wanting to assassinate Thorne's queen.

You really shouldn't be disappointed, it would likely be awful. You have an unrhymable name, to start with.

And better than losing our minds or weeping, I suppose.

You can use my nickname, Jes. It rhymes with yes, which is what I like to hear anyway.

[ Rimshot. ]

The Crows usually laugh in the face of danger, it's our trademark, but it's difficult to feel it right now. We'd just been in Libertas for a festival. There were a lot of good people, innocent people.

And I've certainly never said 'no' to you.

I generally just run, but that's not an option now. Of course where I live isn't on fire this time.

There has to be a way for us to get out of this. To get you and Rhy and anyone else stuck there out, maybe there's somewhere we can start our own village. It wouldn't be the first time, Inej's people the Suli do it all the time. They're nomadic.

A very pleasant thought but again not a very realistic one. They'd come after us and we are not in any shape to defend against any of them.

Sometimes the options are just all shit. At least until better options present themselves.

I don't think they would come after us here, they've never really given all that much attention to us the same way, but yeah, you lot are basically Thorne's prisoners. In a gilded cage, but one nevertheless. I wonder if we could make it to Solvunn, if they'd put us under their neutrality blanket.

I'm just worried. But I'm sure as long as you keep your head down there, they won't do anything to you. For now.

Then you're free to just leave the Free Cities and go somewhere else? Because I'd bet a good bit of money that they pay more attention than you think.

I'll lay it out plainly. I've always been perfectly agreeable and on good behavior since I got here. Worst I've done is frozen some things I maybe ought have not. Like a flight of stairs one time. But I know when to play along and blend in, and I have been. I don't even pick pockets these days. For all Thorne knows, I am a good and obedient boy.

And I promise you I will be in touch every day. Even if it's just a quick message before bed.

I don't know, they've never limited us before. We've visited other cities freely and the hunters go out into the Badlands which isn't Free Cities property. So they're allowed past the territory regularly.

They're magic users, I'm fairly certain they've frozen some things too.

Please do. I'm not used to being this far away from people I love. Usually I'm always there and I can protect them, you know?

[ Protection is very important to Jesper, it's what he puts a lot of his personal value into. Keeping those he loves safe. ]

But you haven't heard of anyone hopping a wagon to Solvunn, have you? I'm just saying you need to be careful, too. Of more than just attacks from Thorne.

I will. I know what you mean. I don't like that we're practically on opposite sides of the world from each other. I don't like it at the best of times and I certainly don't like it now. But that's what it is and we'll do what we can.

Wish we could write real letters to each other, too. Be nice to have words that didn't vanish.

I'm not sure anyone wants to hop the wagon to Solvunn, Mat.

[ Listen, he can't help making fun of them a little, it's farmland! He's a former farmer. ]

Okay how about this? We write each other letters and leave them in each other's domain. It's not quite the same thing, but then we can save them there.

I'd say Solvunn has a great deal to offer at the moment!

Agreed. We'll write in the horizon. It's still something. And the words won't vanish as though they were never there. Besides, it's easier to write more in a letter.

Yeah I hate farmland but I'm thinking about it. Although who knows how long their neutrality will last. If Thorne takes over Free Cities again, they'll probably set their eyes on the other area they lost in the war. I was always so glad to stay out of wars before. Yuck.

I'll leave you one, love.

Hey, you.
Checking in.

[wanda is fully aware that in the midst of a war-like strike, distractions can be costly—even deadly. she doesn't want to put jesper in a situation where he's paying attention to the words in his vision when he should be keeping himself safe.

thankfully, no further attacks have taken place since.]

Hey, you.

It's practically snowing ash at the moment. So things are doing just great here.

See if you can cover your nose and mouth if it's too thick. Otherwise you might find yourself with a nasty cough. Cover as much of your skin as you can, or it might get irritated.

It is easier to clean up from surfaces with some water, but do it gently.

[advice brought to you by constant air raids in sokovia]

I understand all the Summoned were in Cadens at the time?

[ Oh right, she has experience in that. ]

I'll tell the others that too.

Yeah, we're safe over here, for now. By that I mean of this attack, we're waiting on the go-ahead from the military to go to Libertas to help out.

Some of us didn't set off our bugs (not me) and Jaskier got hurt. He's alright though.

I heard about that.

[about their delegate getting hurt, about the bugs situation. and, because she thinks she understands jesper enough to construe something about his personality—]

And how are you feeling?

Pissed off. Very worried about our people in Thorne. They're trapped there, if anyone attacks the castle they're sitting ducks. They don't want to be. I should have grabbed Mat during Nocwich and made him come with me.

No one could have known what was going to happen.

Worrying won't help any. There are very many capable Summoned in Thorne, you know.
The best we can do is communicate with them if there is any possibility of their being targeted in return.

They're doing okay right now. Remember that.

They're capable but they're also trapped.

Not that we're so free, they're keeping us off the streets too. What's going on in Solvunn? Everyone doing just fine in farmville? We should've all run there.

[hm]

Since we're not in danger, we are going about as normal. Or as normal as we can after knowing about this.

Keeping you off the streets right after an attack is the smart thing to do. I know you hate it, but you have to be patient and wait.

I'd say 'not in danger yet' but my city managed to stay independent during wars around us just fine. Neutrality can work.

[ Although he's fairly certain Fjedra will just bang them down next, but that's neither here nor there. ]

I know, I'm just worried about Mat. We've been leaning into these separated lovers by war thing, but it doesn't change he's trapped in a castle with violent royalty with a tendency to throw Summoned into prison.

[ He may not have outwardly admitted to being so involved with someone, he always seems so cheerful and flirtatious to everyone, but few people know that he has a close attachment to Mat. ]

[oh— yeah, that would be. reason to be extremely worried and probably wish to just throw caution to the wind and do anything in his power to stop it. wanda frowns as she tries to think of a proper response.]

That's only happened the one time though, right? I would think— that maybe—
Maybe it is a little different now.

[she, too, has people she cares for. in thorne, in the free cities.]

You know that with my magic I can control probabilities? It's useful, but it's — dangerous. I try not to think or say absolutes, otherwise they might come true.
That is to say: One day at a time, Jesper.

We can do more when we have more information. I'm worried, too, but I can't let it overwhelm me. It only makes me feel more helpless.

[Enough time has passed that the news has settled: it wasn't Cadens that burned, but another city. It didn't make Wilhelm feel any better, but he'd undoubtedly feel worse if someone he knew had been snuffed out in the strike. He should have tried reaching out to Jesper days ago, but that's the thing about guilt. It makes you so sure that anything you say could unlock your secrets, that everybody can sense a shift in you.

Eventually, he works up the courage.]

Hey, Jesper?

How is everything over there?

Bloody and on fire.

I'm actually going on a supply run in a few days. A group of us will be escorting soldiers to get supplies from Solvunn and take it back. Much better at that than healing.

[ In fact, Jesper could be a great healer, but that was his mother's calling not his. ]

As long as YOU'RE not bloody and on fire...

[Haha...ha...]

So you're leaving the Free Cities? I guess I wouldn't expect a risk-taker like you to stay still.

[A throwback to their last conversation.]

Were you worried about me, Pigeon?

[ He can flirt even over this.]

Yeah, it's quite a trek, but Solvunn seems to be supplying both sides with things. It's a smart tactic, pretending neutrality while profiting over it. I salute them.

Maybe.

[And he can be coy even over brain texts.]

I mean, at least they haven't set any towns on fire. That's a smart tactic too.

That's cute.

Trust me, Reiner is not kidding when she says that was a light response. Free Cities has a lot of dangerous tech weapons. It's why I was trying to find out a way to get to you lot and pull you out of Thorne.

[He genuinely can't tell if that's flirting or teasing, so...]

Shut up.

[...Better cover all his bases.]

Am I a damsel in distress now?

You shut up.

[ Laughing. ]

You're all damsels in distress and I am the handsome hero.

Well, good luck. There's like a million magic wards on this place.

[Though he's definitely got the handsome part down. That goes unsaid.]

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Would you run off with me if I did?

Well, it would be rude not to after you went through all that trouble.

I'm working on it. I'm not about to leave you lot there.

You're serious.

And insane.

I'm absolutely serious. I've pulled off daring rescues before.

I guess you weren't joking about taking risks.

So tell me about it, oh brave and handsome hero.

[Haha jk except not jk.]

I'm both always joking and completely serious at the same time.

Are you flirting with me, Pigeon?

[A yes or no question shouldn't require so much deliberation. But as the latter is untrue, and the former is too nakedly bold, here he is. It's not even serious, it's...fun. A little exciting, a little nerve-wracking. Very nearly a distraction from everything burning around them.

After a long pause:]

Only because you started it.

I'm always flirting. And here I thought you were straight.

Guess not.

Damn, you should have told me at the party! I could have kissed you in person. Rude.

[Oh. Preoccupied with missing Simon — and brooding over the way they'd burned down — he hasn't given much thought to kissing anyone else. But now he is.]

You know, I thought you'd hang around longer that night.

I got distracted by them telling us to use those bugs to protect Jaskier.

[ And everything that went wrong after that. Jesper himself is not that close to Jaskier, but he's still one of the Cadens family, and he's close to Geralt and Nadine. Jesper's very protective over people.]

Would you be interested in kissing me? Because we can do that in the Horizon any time we want.

[Right, that was a stupid thing to say. Think. Whatever.]

I just meant

I had a good time with you.

[Although now every memory of that night is left charred by what followed, in the way fire catches hold of everything around it, the hour spent with Jesper stays one he wishes he could go back to.]

Really? Like right now?

[Or...something less embarrassingly eager. Fuck, his brain seriously needs a backspace key.]

I mean, if you're not busy.

You're probably busy.

I had a good time with you too, love.

[ He's laughing. So eager! His favorite. ]

I'm not busy. A pleasant distraction would be greatly appreciated right now. If you're interested, come to the Crow Club. Hard to miss, it's a seedy-looking club with a giant crow symbol over the door. Meet me there?

[ooc: going away on Sat but we can start something here if you want!]

See you soon.

Wilhelm spends a good minute wondering what he's doing. Until a minute ago he'd never considered kissing Jesper. Well, maybe not never — he's got nice lips, and that's not a conclusion one can arrive at without some measure of imaginary kissing. But never seriously.

Because it's fun to be casual, pigeon, you should try it, Jesper's voice teases from some corner of his memory.

A little fun couldn't hurt. He could definitely use a pleasant distraction these days, which he watches pass by from the disheveled mess of his bed, hardly able to stand up under the weight of everything.

Another minute — this one for smoothing out his nerves enough to reach the appropriate state of concentration — and Wilhelm slips into the Horizon. Passing underneath the giant crow that marks the club's entrance, he glances around for Jesper. He works hard at assembling a casual air with his hands in his pockets.

Jesper's temper has been high, his reaction to all of this was fear (for others) and fury, the first inflaming the second. It's not a good time for him to have people he cares about somewhere he can't protect them. One of Jesper's defining characteristics is his loyalty and drive to take care of his loved ones, which was easier when it was all the Crows and they lived in the same city. The sudden violence and threat of it hanging over everyone made him want to fight, which is why he signed up for the supply run.

But he can be just as happy to move those feelings in a different direction. They both need a distraction. Jesper's definitely thought about kissing Wilhelm, but to be fair, he thinks that about every pretty person he comes across. He likes him though, sweet and soft and interesting, and it was adorable of him to so eagerly respond to the flirting. Not at all as straight as he thought!

The Crow Club is darkly lit and seedy, even here, because Jesper had no intention of changing the ambiance when creating it. Now Kaz shares it since it's his. But the Crow Club also has this energy within it, powerful and intriguing, dark and engaging. It's empty at the moment outside of Jesper himself, sitting in the back booth area.

He looks his usual dashing self in greens, his long jacket slung over the back of the booth so he's less formal. Jesper can tell when someone is in his space, it's his after all, and he whistles from where he's casually lounging at the moment. His smile is instant and cheerful.

"Oi, Pigeon. Come back here. You want a drink?" There is a bar but he can make drinks wherever he wants.

Scoping out the scene, he remembers that Jesper is supposed to belong to a gang. Extracted from the context of their homeworlds, it's easy to forget those kinds of details — whoever you were there, it doesn't matter much here. Wilhelm wonders if this club is Jesper's gang's turf. (Is turf the actual term people use?) If his mom knew that he was slinking around some club sucking face with a boy of questionable background, she'd probably have an aneurysm. Strangely, this thought only makes him more sure of what he's about to do.

Jesper's smile gets one out of him in turn, in the same way the sun spreads warmth. He does hesitate for a snap, pulled by habit toward the seat across from Jesper — but wedging a table between them wouldn't be conducive to the whole kissing thing. Correcting his course, Wilhelm slides in next to him.

"Sure," he answers, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "That would be great."

Now, to remember how to be a functioning person, which he's never really had a firm grasp of in the first place. He's not dressed as sharply as Jesper, but the sweater indicates some effort. He's also not nearly as relaxed, hands knotted in his lap, shoulders straight and stiff.

This is the Dregs' turf, yes. Their beloved club. He never feels more at home than when he's in here. He watches Wilhelm curiously, wondering how he is going to play this. If he sat across from him, it means he needs to unwind more before they get anywhere, but he decides to sit next to him instead, which means he hasn't lost his nerve. Jesper would be fine with either option, he's very good at seducing people who are a little nervous and need a softer hand.

He snaps a finger and a drink appears before him. It's a nice bourbon, a specialty here, and what Jesper himself is drinking. It may be a little deeper than what Wilhelm is used to. "You can change it to whatever you prefer, just need to think about it." This is the Horizon. They can change anything they want, and Jesper doesn't have tight control over it.

He puts an arm around Wilhelm and smiles, gray eyes warm as they look over his pretty face and tight shoulders. Jesper is fine with soothing this sweet pigeon of his and he reaches down to take one of his hands from his lap. He lifts the hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles gently.

"You don't need to be nervous, love. We aren't going to do anything you don't want." He turns the hand to brush his lips against his palm next, sweet and soothing.

Before he can try his drink, Jesper is plucking his hand up and pressing kisses against it. The gesture might lack the depth it would possess in Simon's hands and lips — everything he did to Wilhelm seemed to have the weight of the ocean behind it — but he won't deny that it feels good. He didn't come here to brood over the boy who wrung his heart out, or to feel guilty for enjoying himself while the world burns. He didn't come here to think at all.

Curling his fingers, he traces Jesper's cheek and jaw as those kisses warm his palm.

"I'm not nervous."

His heart, thudding clumsily in his chest, would argue otherwise, but it's the good kind of nervous. After so many days of raw anxiety flaying him open, crushing his lungs and clattering around in his head, the fluttering feeling filling him now is a breath of fresh air.

To prove his point, Wilhelm cranes his neck — he's not used to doing this with someone so damn tall — to press his lips to Jesper's.

Jesper often needs an outlet when things get too big for him, and his anger has been sustained since it happened. His fear too, for those he cares for in Thorne, even more so than Cadens where the violence already happened. But he can't do violence, not yet, the supply run may end up peaceful, although it will get him out and doing something. Desire though, that's been as much of a comforting outlet as anything else.

It seems his sweet pigeon does indeed know what he wants and Jesper gives a sultry smile when he leans toward him. There are no nerves in him, nothing but a growing warmth and adrenaline that he seeks desperately. This is familiar and good, always. Well, except with Kuwei. That was just weird. He is well past missing Wylan every time a pretty person kisses him. His merchling is long gone now. Jesper focuses on the people he's with, like now.

He kisses him back with confidence, releasing his hand to dive long fingers into Wilhelm's hair. He caresses through the strands but holds the back of his head to keep him firmly where he is. The first kiss is chaste but lingering, and as soon as it breaks, Jesper leans in for more and this one is anything but chase. It is warm and direct, his heart racing, his tongue running aginst Wilhelm's lips in a request to be let in. He wants to explore his mouth, taste him to see if he is as sweet as he suspects.

Wilhelm is still in that state of heartbreak where he thinks he'll always compare everyone he kisses to Simon, and autumn will always be an ache because falling leaves remind him of falling in love. He still has to keep up the caution tape in his mind to keep himself from trespassing into memories of him. But Jesper, warm and so sure of himself that it's infectious, is easy to sink into. As their lips move together and Jesper's fingers weave in his hair, Wilhelm lets everything else shrink away. He lets himself be suspended in now.

There's a moment, in that initial break, where his eyes flutter open and he's almost thrown off by the not-yet-familiar landscape of Jesper's face. Just as fast, he dives back in. His fingers trail down the side of Jesper's neck, trace his shirt collar and buttons. His lips part for him, welcoming the warm glide of his tongue, goading him with a flick of his own. A soft sigh curls in the back of his throat.

Funny, how even ten minutes ago he couldn't have predicted that this was where the day would lead him.

Jesper felt like that in the start, although it was easier because the lovers he took were so vastly different from Wylan. Mat is far more like him, Rhy reminds him of Nina, and while Wilhelm does remind him of Wylan a great deal, he's known him long enough to separate the two easily. When he kisses Wilhelm, he isn't thinking about anyone else but him, although he also is pretty easy-going about being a warm body when someone is in need. At times, that's all he needs himself.

Jesper likes the touch of Wilhelm's fingers against his skin, his sweet lips, the eager way he invites him into his mouth. And Jesper doesn't hesitate to deepen the kiss, to expertly explore him, his free hand dropping down to his knee, caressing a thumb against his lower thigh comfortably. He keeps kissing him until they're both out of breath and when he comes up for air, his lips just travel across Wilhelm's cheek. His hand in Wilhelm's hair tilts his head to the side and he kisses his neck gently.

He realizes where they are though and only then does he lift his head, gray eyes soft and bright. "There's a room over there." He nods his head toward Kaz's room, which is currently empty, and he will just have to gamble on it continuing to be. "Just to be clear, I'm happy to kiss you, love, but anyone can walk in on us here looking for me." Jesper is popular, there's a high chance of that.

He smirks though. "Unless you like that sort of thing." Hey, some people are into being watched. He doesn't judge.

With Simon, they'd stumbled through all of this for the first time together. It was a sort of unchartered territory they were trying to map, and he'd loved every second of it, every little discovery. But those stubborn memories make it that much more obvious that Jesper knows exactly what he's doing. His tongue slipping into his mouth smooth as silk, thumb soothing the hinge of his thigh, loosening him; his hand directing the angle of his head to expose the slope of his neck, lips melting against the skin there. Wilhelm gets lost in it.

By the time Jesper pulls away, he's half-forgotten how to speak. He tinges pink as he realizes that the room, although empty at the moment, isn't exactly private. Of course Mr. Popularity over here must receive visitors all the time.

"No," he answers emphatically, poking Jesper's chest with both pointer fingers. That's for the exhibitionism comment, of course. Wilhelm can honestly think of next to nothing that's less appealing. His gaze flicks to the room Jesper indicated, and his lips curl into a shy grin. "Yeah, let's...let's do that."

Standing, he remembers the drink he never tried. Might as well take a sip now — it's not that he has any doubts to chase away, but a little extra confidence never hurts.

Jesper does have visitors regularly, he is friendly and outgoing and the Crow Club can be entertaining for new people. He also goes out and about and sees other people. This is also the space that Kaz and Inej are often in, so there's that. He laughs when Wilhelm pokes him in the chest, he would have been shocked if Wilhelm was into that honestly, but he is being playful.

He waits for Wilhelm to take a bit of liquid courage. The drink is heavy but also tastes good, he made sure to get something he thought Wilhelm would like. He's a good host! He was just more focused on kissing him than drinking. Jesper smiles and curls his fingers in the front of Wilhelm's shirt, dragging him in the direction of Kaz's room. It's a simple and dark room and Jesper wisely creates a little sign for the door. Busy, go away it says, with a little smiley face on it. If Kaz sees it and yells at him later, oh well. It wouldn't be the first time.

Jesper pulls Wilhelm toward him the moment the door is closed. If it was anyone else he might be a little more aggressive, but he is still being gentle with this sweet boy, and sometimes that is exactly what he wants. Jesper is almost half a foot taller than Wilhelm so when he sits on the side of the bed and tugs him closer, it makes them more on the same level.

"You are in so much trouble, I can't believe you didn't come onto me at the party, I could have snuck us behind a tree to kiss." Jesper's being playful and he leans up to kiss him again, smiling against his lips.

The bourbon burns down his throat, slowly blurs his edges. He supposes he lets it — everything in the Horizon is a state of mind. It would be nice if everything could be less sharp. Happy to let Jesper take the lead, Wilhelm lets himself get pulled along, fixing his hair with a quick pass of his hand. The sign that appears on the door as they push past it gets a laugh out of him. Nice touch.

Now, when Jesper said room, he assumed he meant a storage room, or a parlor, or something like that. The bed — which immediately draws his attention, due as much to its prominent position as to the proclivities of the teenage mind — is a surprise. But not a deal-breaker for this little rendezvous. His gaze settles warmly on Jesper, who's shorter than him now that he's seated. Corralled between his knees, Wilhelm find balance by holding onto his shoulders. The kiss relaxes him, burying his busy mind in sweet nothingness.

"I..." His eyes slide sheepishly aside as he flounders for something to say that isn't about missing somebody else. "...Just thought you had plenty of other people to kiss."

Realizing how that might sound, he cringes. Compensates with a little laugh.

"I'm making it up to you now, aren't I?"

Jesper knows that bringing him to the bedroom can be suggestive although he trusts that he's been clear he has no intention of being pushy. He likes Wilhelm and they're both looking for a nice distraction, it is as simple as they want it to be. Kissing and flirting are wonderful things. He laughs when Wilhelm looks like he's suggesting something insulting about his many partner options because Jesper has no shame and it's sweet Wilhelm doesn't want to offend him. One hand settles on the small of Wilhelm's back and the other is long enough to curl to the back of his neck. Both keeping him close and in kissing mode.

"And yet you're the one I ended up on a date with that night. Which I don't regret. I like being around you, Wilhelm."

In their time together, Jesper has always teased him with endearments or with his pigeon nickname, but now he says his name like a caress. They're kissing, it is only fitting he actually use it for once. And it's an acknowledgement that they more or less were on a date that night, even if neither of them put it into words at the time. And Jesper still thought he might have been straight at that point. Not that it would stop him. He took advantage of any sign of flirting quickly after all.

Jesper cups his face, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone, gazing up at Wilhelm. He usually can only do so at an angle like this with most people, so it's rather nice. He runs a tongue over his lips, smirking.

"Make it up to me then."

Jesper's hands, cradling the small of his back and the back of his neck, draw his attention closer. Gently pry him from the tight crush of everything that's made it hard to get out of bed lately. It's a simple thing, being touched, and right now simplicity is exactly what Wilhelm needs. He can almost ignore the quiet ache that wishes it were someone else's hands on him, someone else's lips seeking his.

As Jesper dubs the evening they'd spent together at the party a date, soft surprise stumbles across his expression, settling into a shy smile. His name sounds good on Jesper's tongue. Though he knows the other boy has probably pronounced dozens of names with the same golden warmth, he doesn't doubt that it's genuine. Having lived in the upper class world of facades and flattery, Wilhelm has a sense for these things.

"You can call me Wille," he breathes.

Except he doesn't give Jesper a chance to try out the nickname, as he tilts into another kiss. Apparently answering his challenge — make it up to me then — he doesn't waste much time on chasteness. His tongue slides across Jesper's lower lip; he tries a playful nip. His hands go from tracing gentle patterns into Jesper's shoulders and down the front of his shirt, to nudging at him to scoot back so that he can settle into his lap, knees bracketing thighs to slot them closer together.

Edited (whoops grammar) 2022-11-06 19:53 (UTC)

Jesper always means it. He is a very genuine person. He might get around a lot, but he's never callous about it, he likes people, and people like him. He chases sensation wherever he can get it, and lust has always been the safest of his greater impulses. Gambling and adrenaline give him a rush like nothing else, but this warm flush between them and the taste of Wilhelm on his lips can feed that part of him. Perhaps months ago he might have compared Wilhelm to Wylan, it would have been easy, they have some superficial qualities in common. But now Jesper's just here for him and the distraction they can give each other.

He notes the nickname and is about to repeat it when Wilhelm instead steals his breath away entirely. Jesper makes a pleased noise at the nip and kisses him deeply, leaning back to let Wilhelm settle onto his lap. He is slightly surprised by the forwardness but in the best possible way. Maybe he doesn't have to be so careful after all. Jesper puts an arm around his back to pull him close, right up against his body, and he surges up into him.

His hand slips under Wilhelm's shirt to run up his bare back and he uses his vantage point to let his mouth wander off Wilhelm's mouth to his cheek and then presses a hot string of kisses along the length of his slender neck. "Wille," he murmurs sweetly into his skin and nips at the curve of his neck right when it hits his shoulder.

He sucks very lightly on Wilhelm's neck, he can't leave a mark in the real world so this is harmless. Briefly he pulls his head up to look at Wilhelm's face, framing it with both of his hands affectionately.

"What do I have permission for, love?" Jesper is down for anything so he feels like communication is key when using gentle handling with someone else. He wants to be certain Wilhelm feels safe and wanted in this room. "Can I take your shirt off?"

Wilhelm grants permission in the slight shifting of his hips when Jesper presses their bodies together, and in the resulting sigh that simmers on his tongue. He gives it in the way he arches his back in reply to Jesper's hand slipping under the hem of his shirt, the way he tilts his head back in reply to his lips wandering down his neck, the way he clutches at his hair to keep him in place. When he decided to meet Jesper here, he wasn't sure of his own intentions. All he knew was that he needed to feel close to somebody. He needed to not be alone.

And, well, give an inch, take a mile.

Wille, Jesper murmurs against his pulse. A shiver slides up his spine. It's stupid — everybody at school called him that, but in his brain the nickname belongs to Simon in a way nobody else can claim. For one precarious moment, Wilhelm teeters on the brink between bliss and loneliness, the one emptying his head and the other his heart.

He's pulled back by the pressure of Jesper's lips on his neck, releasing with a soft wet pop. Jesper's palms cradling his face, his beautiful smile filing down those jagged edges inside him again.

"Mm...yeah..."

To help him, Wilhelm leans back to pull his sweater over his head. The plain t-shirt underneath is all Jesper's. As soon as it's discarded, he's leaning in to claim his lips. Running his hands down Jesper's chest, he starts to work apart the buttons of his shirt. It's only fair.

This is usually the best way to make Jesper feel better when he's in a bad mindset. He has no shame about that. Desire is blinding, it's pure sensation, it's beautiful. It wouldn't bother him that Wilhelm's in his head about someone else because he wouldn't consider that a reflection on him. Jesper's very confident and if giving Wilhelm a well-earned distraction from whatever is bothering him will be helpful, it's the kindest sort of thing he can do for a friend. Although obviously not selfless.

Jesper gets rid of the t-shirt and eagerly runs his long fingers over Wilhelm's chest and back. He's so soft; Jesper would not be surprised to hear he's a royal. He knows the smooth perfect skin of rich boys. He lets Wilhelm undo his shirt and shrugs out of it easily. Jesper is very skinny and leanly muscled, his limbs long but thin.

His hands move down to Wilhelm's thighs and he grips them only so he can lift him and do a graceful spin move, settling Wilhelm on his back on the bed instead. Jesper moves on top of him and slides between his legs, stealing a kiss again. One hand holds him steady on top of Wilhelm while the other runs down his neck and over his torso. He experimentally brushes a thumb against his nipple just to see what he likes. He loves learning new partners.

"You're so pretty, pigeon," he murmurs, catching his breath. "Am I being acceptably distracting?" Jesper smiles, sucking on his bottom lip.

With eyes half-lidded, he lets the world tunnel to just Jesper. His hands cascading caresses over his skin, tightening around his thighs as he flips him onto his back. His mouth covering his, replacing air with warm breath and a steady stream of kisses. Too lonely to feel especially awkward about how fast this is all unfurling, Wilhelm obliges. He makes room for Jesper between his legs. He traces the wiry muscle of his biceps, finds the little scars marking an eventful life.

By the time Jesper murmurs that he's pretty, he actually believes him. That tongue of his is damn persuasive. Laughing against his lips, Wilhelm holds his face and stretches his fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck.

"A-plus," he awards with facetious pomp and circumstance. "One-hundred percent."

He can't be sure if he's happy right now, but it's near enough to happiness. He's tired of feeling with his heart anyway; feeling with his body seems a gentler route. So he doesn't shy from the tide of arousal rising inside him — he wades right into it, pulling Jesper down for another kiss, wandering his hands down his body.

Now that Jesper's shirtless Wilhelm can see the three tattoos on his torso, two of them new but nevertheless put onto his Horizon skin too. There's the Dregs tattoo on his right forearm, a protection symbol on his left, and a tattoo of a gun on his bicep with the Wheel of Fortune symbol in the hilt. In real life, it glows in the dark, but it's not currently. As wiry as Jesper is, it's clear that he's built like the rogue he is, like someone ready to fight. His fingers are calloused from guns and swords. Jesper can tell that Wilhelm's giving into the lust of their situation and it's good to see him relax and be less anxious. There's no need to overthink in Jesper's imaginary bed. Wilhelm has no idea how good Jesper's tongue truly is.

He laughs at Wilhelm's grading of his efforts as A+ and returns the kiss, delving deep into his mouth again, massaging his tongue, memorizing the heat and taste of him. Jesper loves the feel of Wilhelm's hot soft hands over his body and experimentally tests the waters by slowly rocking his hips down into Wilhelm's. He is in a good position to do that, settled between his legs, and that little bit of friction goes a long way.

Jesper pulls out of the kiss and brushes his lips against Wilhelm's cheek and over to his ear. He sucks the lobe into his mouth before speaking low and promising. "The only thing I want is to make you feel good, love." He lets his mouth travel down to his neck, pressing their hips together again. "You just tell me when I'm going too far, okay?" Maybe he shouldn't treat Wilhelm so gently, maybe he isn't as virginal as he seems. But on the off-chance he is, Jesper wants to be only a good memory for him, a friend he can count on whether it's kissing or protecting him.

"You're so soft, pigeon." He runs his fingers down Wilhelm's chest, sneaking just a little bit under his pants but not farther than a suggestive inch around the band.

Having had his entire life mapped out for him before he got pulled away from it all, Wilhelm craves any degree of control he can wrap his hands around. So while he lets Jesper take the lead, he takes control by other means. By rolling his hips up into Jesper's, firm and sure, back arching and breath simmering hot; by coasting his hands over the curve of his ass, pulling him down as if there could still be space between them left to crush. Wilhelm chooses this.

Tipping his head aside to surrender to Jesper's lips as they claim his ear, he slides his eyes over the designs inked onto his warm brown skin. He doesn't know anybody who has a tattoo — in the image-obsessed upper crust of society, there's no place for that level of self-expression. The lingering sense that he's doing something he shouldn't only heightens the thrill crackling through him.

As Jesper's mouth slides down his neck, and his hands slide down his chest — as his hips press him into the bed, and his whole body covers him like the sky — Wilhelm hums in dreamy agreement. Yes, he wants to feel good.

Jesper's mindfulness of his boundaries is sweet, but Wilhelm wants to show him that he doesn't have to tread so lightly. When his touch slips into his jeans, his belly dips in a soft gasp. He squeezes his hand between them to take Jesper's, not to intercept him, but to encourage him to pet him through his jeans. Wilhelm's hard, the heat of his arousal sweltering through the fabric. A moan stretches quietly in the back of his throat.

"I'm secretly very dangerous, remember?" Wilhelm teases. A moment's hesitation, his nerves betraying him in the inward curl of his lips. "You can...take them off, if you want."

He's already prying apart the button, pulling down the zipper.

There is nothing quite like the shift in interest to enthusiasm, and Wilhelm's opening up to Jesper far quicker than he expected. In the best sense. He meets it with his own want and need, his kiss hotter, rocking down against him with more force when his hips lift up. He's been clear with Wilhelm that he'll respect his boundaries, whatever they are, so he decides not to worry about it anymore. He'll tell Jesper if he doesn't want something. He has to trust in that, especially now that he wants to get his mouth all over him.

Wilhelm reacts beautifully and purposely moves his hand down in invitation and Jesper laughs into his neck. "I'm definitely in danger, sweetheart." He slides his hand under Wilhelm's pants as soon as Wilhelm unzips them, palming the hard heat he can feel beneath his underpants. He rubs at him slowly, his mouth moving across his chest. This is Jesper's favorite place to be. He loves the heat and adrenaline and the sound of a moan, he likes to unravel his partners until they're hot messes.

Jesper slides down Wilhelm's body, his tongue taking a second to playfully lick at each of his nipples, before he is pressing his mouth against Wilhem's stomach and trail down to where his pants are still on and he's straining against them. He leans to the side so he can pull Wilhelm's pants off and drop them to the floor. He decides to go for broke and press his mouth against the hard line of him underneath the underpants. He licks at the fabric in a not even close subtle way, mouthing over the length of him.

"Can I?" Gray eyes flicker up to Wilhelm from where he is currently, fully planning on taking them off with teeth once giving permission, but he does need permission. "Let me make you feel good. I'm very good with my mouth." As if that would be any surprise at this point. Jesper's in his element, he's oozing confidence and temptation.

All joking aside, it's really Wilhelm who's in danger. Under Jesper's mouth and touch, he melts. Hips rolling, he tries to fuck into Jesper's hand, hungry for its friction. Back arching, like a wave cresting before it snaps into sea foam, he stretches his chest into the heat of his tongue. With every new touch Jesper bestows on him, the rhythm of his breath resets, swelling into a gasp, sinking into a sigh. His own hands scramble to cover his face, to clutch at Jesper's hair.

He's not thinking about how, really, he's hardly had time at all to get to know Jesper in the handful of times they've crossed paths. He's not thinking about much at all, not when Jesper's yanking his jeans from his ankles and mouthing his cock through his boxers. And isn't this another way of learning each other? Just let their bodies speak for them. These days, there's little to talk about but doom and gloom anyway.

The look Wilhelm curves down at him is all hazy summer skies. Heat and anticipation for what comes next. He nods wordlessly, pushing both hands through Jesper's hair, lifting his hips to help him.

And now he's not thinking about how only one person has ever seen him like this, naked and alive with arousal and thoroughly vulnerable. Except he is thinking about it, a little bit.

Jesper is casual when it comes to sex but that doesn't mean he is casual in the act. He is very focused on his partners so it seems like they are the only people who exist in his entire world, and that is how it feels when in the midst of it. He is fully salacious, never bored, and always consumed and consuming in equal measures. He listens to Wilhelm's reactions and learns from them, copying gestures that he clearly wants, licking and sucking in small ways over his skin. Every new partner is a canvas, their bodies his to sculpt.

If he knew Wilhelm was struggling with his feelings about another man and what this all means for it, he would be sympathetic and kind, but in the end, this is still what he would insist on doing. No better way to get a person out of the past than to give them something in the present to hold onto.

Wilhelm's very responsive which is so appealing, his eyes glossy as they look down at him, and he smiles reassuringly up at him after the permission. He promised himself that he would distract both of them from the madness in their lives, and he will make good on that. He can tell Wilhelm is already getting lost in it and he does in fact use his teeth to pull off his underwear, sliding it down his legs afterward. He moves back between Wilhelm's legs now that he's bare and bows his head, nosing against Wilhelm's cock and breathing hotly over it, running his tongue from stem to tip. He curls it along the head, over the top and right under, and moans in open pleasure. He loves doing this.

"Pull my hair all you want, love, and you can fuck my mouth as hard as you like, I enjoy it."

That very sultry message given, Jesper gets to work. One hand curves around Wilhelm's thigh to keep him open for easier access, stroking his thumb reassuringly on the inner side. His other hand wraps around him for stability and he lowers his head down on him, taking him in with no problem. He goes slow purely so Wilhelm can adapt to the feeling of his hot wet mouth surrounding him and he sucks in his cheeks a little for increased tightness. He softens his throat so if Wilhelm takes him up on the thrusting it will be easy and bobs on him, a look of genuine bliss on his face has he focuses on making this good for both of them.

A surprised laugh catches in his throat as Jesper snags his boxers with teeth instead of fingers, which places him...right there when Wilhelm's cock bobs free. Seized by self-consciousness, he turns his face toward the pillow. His hand flutters over his mouth while his breath flutters out on a sigh. Feeling Jesper's weight move the mattress as he reclaims his place between his legs, Wilhelm dares to peek down at him again. Anticipation sharpens in his belly as Jesper's breath slides over him.

And then his self-consciousness gets swallowed up in a surge of pleasure, smothered by the heat of Jesper's tongue. A moan spills out. His fingers curl tighter in his hair even before Jesper says that. Even in optimal circumstances, cultivated for the utmost clarity of thought, Wilhelm wouldn't know how to respond. Too dumbfounded to come up with anything smart, too shy to try matching him in seduction. Now, with Jesper cradling his cock and stretching his mouth around him, all he can produce is—

"Jes..."

But pulled apart on a whine, it sounds more like yes and please and more. All of him pulls tight like the strings of some instrument, ready to be plucked. His other hand bunches into a fist around the bedcovers. His hips wiggle, writhing upward, not out of any conscious decision on Wilhelm's part to follow Jesper's instructions, but because the wet warmth of that mouth just begs to be plunged into.

This is new. Not the act itself — though Jesper's, uh, expertise certainly transforms it — but the raw carnality untethered from the weight of feelings.

Jesper's had many partners so he knows what to expect most of the time, and he isn't surprised that Wilhelm's on the shy side. It doesn't bother him, he genuinely thinks it's sweet, especially being shy when in this most intimate of poses. It makes it very fun when someone like that can't help but throw themselves into the sensations, unable to care about their embarrassment over the pleasure of what they're experiencing. So he is amused when that exact thing happens, but it feeds his ego, his certainty in his ability.

It would be a shock for Wilhelm to be a dirty talker. Not an unwelcome one, but a genuine surprise, and he is perfectly content to let his moans and whines be all the sounds he needs. The sound of his nickname does often sound like a breathy yes, and it never fails to get him going. When Wilhelm pushes up Jesper takes him in eagerly, allowing him to go as deep as possible without consequence.

He keeps the pace slow mostly because he wants Wilhelm to enjoy it, so he can really linger in these good feelings and get out of his head. He knows how to ramp it up when he wants to. He starts out with steady bobs up and down, a nice rhythm in between Wilhelm's needy thrusts up. Once that pace is settled he strokes Wilhelm with his hand every time his head lifts, sliding smoothly across him now thanks to his saliva.

He speeds up his movements just a little as he feels Wilhelm get into it, his hand moving faster on him, playing a little dirty the next time he lifts his head to purposely lick his tongue over the head to lap up the fluid there, tasting him before dropping back down.

Wilhelm is definitely out of his head now. He's practically in orbit, spinning circles around the room without having to leave the bed at all. His inexperience — eroding his endurance, all of him burning up like a meteorite crashing through the atmosphere — makes a slow pace wise. It gives him a chance to float. Suspended here in this moment, nothing exists beyond the heat of Jesper's mouth and hand, the squeeze of his tongue and throat, the pleasure pooling like magma under Wilhelm's skin.

Losing himself in the rhythm Jesper sets, he thrusts upward when his mouth slides down his shaft, groans when his cock nestles deep in his throat. Sometimes he throws his head back against the pillow, hair spilling all over, breath bobbing up and down, and sometimes he watches Jesper with heavy, hazy eyes. Those gorgeous lips, full of him. That dangerous tongue, tasting him, teasing him.

His hands weave into Jesper's hair. Clutch at his shoulders, palming the gun inked onto his bicep for encouragement. Trace his jaw and cheek, fingers contemplating his own hardness sheathed inside that soft skin.

Fuck.

He's not sure if he just thinks that or actually says it aloud — or something caught halfway between. Like the rest of him, hurtling through all the layers of the stratosphere.

"Jes...Jesper," he pleads, pulling lightly on his hair. He's close. He's close, he's close, he's close.

Jesper does flicker his eyes up toward Wilhelm a few times as he does this because he enjoys watching and he does look completely out of it, which is a real compliment. He is already thinking about other times he plans on bringing Wilhelm down this road, he would love to feel the flushed skin under his mouth, watch his face more directly as he strokes him instead to the end. He is so very pretty and Jesper loves the start of these things, when all he can think of are the possibilities.

He glances up intentionally when Wilhelm's fingers caress his jaw and he knows exactly what he's doing, gray eyes heated and amused and he intentionally takes his cock on that side of his mouth for a few times so Wilhelm can feel the shape of it through his cheek. He never minds adjusting to encourage the sensuality of sex, but he knows too what it means when fingers dig into his hair like that. Jesper can feel the pulse, the tautness of Wilhelm's body underneath him, and he decides to give him exactly what he needs. He can tease another day and explore that with him. Not now.

Jesper picks up the pace from medium to relentless in a single instant, giving no time at all for Wilhelm to feel anything but constant sensation. His hand slides fast and ruthless over his cock, his hand on Wilhelm's thigh moving underneath his ass and he squeezes it, encouraging with a pull for Wilhelm to thrust into his hungry mouth. He wants him to chase his pleasure, to claim it as his own, lowering entirely down on him so he's completely wrapped in silk heat.

Jesper sucks in his cheeks around Wilhelm, making him as tight as possible while still comfortable to move in, and then deliberately moans around him, the vibrations meant to lift him higher.

Those eyes, molten and mischievous, belong to someone who knows what he's doing. They press into Wilhelm, gaze as weighted as touch. Under their watch, he burns hotter, faster, melting in the unrelenting heat of Jesper's mouth.

When he thinks that this pleasure can't crest any sharper, can't inundate him any deeper, Jesper pulls him there. Fast and feverish up and down his spit-slick shaft, he pumps the breath right out of him. When he scoops up Wilhelm's ass, pulling him into his mouth with the inescapable force of a planet's gravity, Wilhelm digs his heels into the bed and throws his hips forward. And when Jesper swallows him whole, the circle of his lips cinching the base of Wilhelm's cock, the back of his throat molding around his tip, the soft heat of his cheeks squeezing his every haphazard thrust—

Oh. His head spins into outer space. He forgets how to speak. How to breathe. Realizing that the moan crashing around him is his own, he clamps a hand to his mouth.

Fucking into the reverberations of Jesper's moaning, fingers twisting hard in his hair, Wilhelm comes. Jesper will feel it warm in his throat, tangy on his tongue. On his own tongue there's nothing coherent, just a tangled string of whimpers.

Jesper puts his entire body and mind into sexual acts but especially in these last few seconds before instinct takes over and he sends the person flying into orbit. He can make it feel any number of ways, but with Wilhelm, the intention is completely mindless. To get him out of his mind and body and floating somewhere else, and when he thrusts up into his throat deep, Jesper knows he's gotten him past thought.

He swallows the moment his mouth fills and his hand on him goes slow instead, moving but only in gentle sweeping ways that are encouraging him to get it all out. Milking him through the orgasm and taking it all down easily, before he stops so he doesn't overstimulate him. Jesper only pulls off when he is certain Wilhelm is done and he places his hand on his thigh, rubbing it tenderly as if encouraging him to relax and come down at his own pace.

Jesper licks his lips and makes certain not a drop was spilled, sighing contently at a job well done, and his throat is a little raw thanks to those ending thrusts, which he likes. He slides up on the bed next to Wilhelm and props himself on an elbow, letting gray eyes slide over his bare flushed body and to his face. It is always worth getting a good look at the damage he's done.

He reaches over to take Wilhelm's hand away from his mouth and kisses the fingertips. "So pretty," he murmurs, wanting to admire him.

As Jesper coaxes him through his orgasm, his hips fall to little twitching thrusts, then stutter to stillness altogether. Wilhelm puddles into the mattress, sweaty and flushed and breathless. Like stardust drifting after everything else has burned away, he comes back down to himself. But it's a softer version, all those sharp and hard things still scattered far away.

He wants to say something clever or charming or cool to answer Jesper, but his thoughts carry all the substance of sea foam right now. In the absence of words, he curls into Jesper. His body, sensitive in the afterglow, feels naked not because his clothes lie in a pile on the floor, but because his skin misses touch. He traces Jesper's lips as his fingertips are crowned with kisses. Somehow, this feels intimate in a way that had no chance to sink in with Jesper's mouth on his dick, and for a second Wilhelm has to look away.

He occupies himself with combing through the mess he's made of Jesper's hair, trying to return him to a presentable state. His fingers flutter down the side of Jesper's neck. Remembering all of a sudden how...ardent he'd gotten, he chews on his lip.

"Sorry..."

His gaze drifts down Jesper's long, lean torso, dipping low. Still half-dressed, he's straining at his trousers. Wilhelm lifts a questioning look to him.

Jesper immediately leans into the affection and has no problem with Wilhelm cuddling up closer to him or seeking skin contact. He smiles and drops his hand down to Wilhelm's body, running his fingers along his bare chest and over his hip. Everyone reacts slightly differently after sex so he's ready to adapt to whatever Wilhelm prefers, but he does chuckle at the apology.

"Never apologize, love, I enjoy all of this."

Ardency is flattering! Stroking his hair and seemingly interested in helping him out, also flattering, and very much appreciated. Jesper never requires anything in response, but obviously given the chance he'll take it. He drops his hands from Wilhelm so he can undo the rest of his clothes and slide them off. He takes Wilhelm's hand and kisses it again before bringing it down to his hard and already leaking cock, encouraging him to take it.

"Please, Wille," he murmurs, gray eyes warm and lustful. Jesper never has problems begging or asking for what he wants, he knows what he wants. "I want you."

As Jesper finishes stripping, Wilhelm indulges his gaze in the lean lines and hard angles of his body, all that beautiful brown skin that now lies bare. Then his hands join in. One curls around Jesper's cock, stroking him languidly. The other spreads over his chest, tracing muscle and heartbeat. The urgency that wound him tight just minutes ago has melted away — he wades into Jesper as one would a pool, letting the water surround him by slow degrees.

"Only because you asked so nicely," he mumbles. The curling of his lips gives away the joke. His eyes skate up to Jesper's, then back down his body, following the meandering path of his own hand.

Leaning into Jesper, he nudges him flat onto his back, so that he can use his shoulder as a pillow. Craving closeness, he tangles their legs together. For a long moment, Wilhelm just watches himself stroke Jesper. Watches every little shift of his hips, the veins twitching beneath his skin. Watches the glossy bead of precum gathering at his prettily flushed head and smears it around with his thumb. This is still new to him, learning another's body, mapping out all its pleasures. Finally, he cranes his neck to smudge kisses along Jesper's jawline. Finds his lips, which — he realizes as he runs his tongue along their seam — taste of himself.

It's nice here. Warm and soft and quiet. Reluctant to return to the jagged white noise of the real world, Wilhelm chooses to linger here for as long as he can.

Jesper has not an ounce of insecurity so he is happy to stretch his body out and allow it to be admired. It is far better though when an appreciative look turns into touch and his breath catches when Wilhelm takes him into hand. He laughs at the joke and runs his fingers through Wilhelm's sandy hair. Jesper follows his direction without argument and moves onto his back, making room for his new lover to tangle legs and move up close against him.

It's arousing on top of everything else, the way Wilhelm is watching what he's doing and Jesper lifts his hips to push into his grip and give more of a show. Not that he has much control after Wilhelm smears his precum over his red hot head and Jesper groans, eyelashes fluttering, head tilted back slightly. That sends a shiver up him and he doesn't mind at all the slow assault on his body and need. He likes to be played with a little.

Jesper parts his lips and leans up into the kiss, his fingers digging into his hair a little tighter, encouraging Wilhelm's tongue into his mouth so he can do the plundering this time. It is all very sweet with enough of a spicy edge that he is content to be explored. Tension and lust curl into his belly and he has to draw sharp breath out of the kiss as Wilhelm's hand continues to move against him.

"Yes, just like that, love, that's so good." Jesper looks at him with hazy gray eyes full of desire and he smiles, his hand dropping from Wilhelm's hair down his back and digging nails in a little. "My pigeon. You like to watch and not talk, hm?" He groans as he lifts up into his hand and pleasure settles nicely over him. "It's okay, I'll put on a nice show for you."

He and Simon had a way of saying so much without saying anything at all. Everything he could want to convey was in his touch, his eyes, an honesty more raw than what he could put into words. They would talk after, floating in a space from which he never wanted to come down.

Wilhelm still misses that feeling, which lingers like a ghost, dead but not quite gone. But the ache is softened by the warmth of Jesper's body, of his mouth inviting him and his hands inciting him. The heat of his voice, like something melted dripping all over him. My pigeon. It's nice to belong somewhere, even if it's just for a little while.

"I like listening to you too," he admits in a whisper against Jesper's shoulder.

Though his body is spent, desire still smolders in him, like embers glowing even after the fire's gone out, as he watches Jesper thrust into his hand. The other boy's pleasure is exciting. The hard surge of his cock in his grasp, the tension pulling his beautiful body taut — this is a power Wilhelm finds he enjoys wielding.

Sliding down in bed, he bends to kiss the head of Jesper's cock, wet and messy. His eyes flutter up the stretch of Jesper's body to watch for his reaction as his tongue spreads over the flushed skin and drips down the shaft. A little slickness to help ease the glide of his hand. Mouthing all along Jesper's length, he squeezes the inside of his thigh, carefully cups his balls. Touch is an addicting thing.

"That's good, I like talking." Jesper smiles and his tone is very sultry when desire is choking him, caught in his throat, finding Wilhelm's rise in confidence deeply appealing. He's surprised him by unraveling into being both seductive and sweet, and Jesper is surrendering to him, letting him take command now.

Wilhelm definitely gets a reaction when his lips hit Jesper's cock and he gasps, his fingers stroking through his hair, swallowing hard. "Yes," he hisses and he lifts his head to watch him. Jesper doesn't hold back, he lets it all show, the fluttering of his eyelashes, the moan spilling from his lips. He is free in the throes of lust and shivers at the touch to his balls.

"Perfect, sweetheart. I've thought about that pretty mouth on me since we met." Jesper is shameless. He wanted Wilhelm from day one, from when he sat on that blanket at the July party, and thought about how soft they looked. It's easy to talk here with Wilhelm causing his nerves to twitch and his blood to boil.

He is careful not to thrust toward Wilhelm's mouth or push him into anything, although he does purposely rub himself against his cheek, watching the flushed skin against him. "I would've found a little spot for us at the party that night. Pushed you up against a tree and made you moan for me, even with people nearby."

Surprise stumbles across his expression, eyes jumping up to Jesper, even as he keeps spreading kisses over his cock. Obviously they couldn't have gotten here — naked and entangled, dripping moans and sweat — without wanting. But to Wilhelm, who's still getting acquainted with his desire, Jesper's boldness hits in a rush.

He remembers feeling lonely that night, despite being in a crowd. The fireworks splashing the sky in color felt closer than anybody else. If Jesper had asked for a kiss then, he wouldn't have been ready for it. It was too soon. He didn't know he was ready for any of this until it was happening, until he was coming undone, loneliness fraying to reveal longing.

"We would've gotten kicked out," Wilhelm protests, lightly pinching Jesper's thigh. His disapproval is softened by the way he nuzzles into Jesper's rubbing, not minding the stickiness it smudges on his cheek. Although the threat of discovery worries him more than thrills him, being wanted with such raw force is an electrifying thought that sizzles deep in his belly.

If they weren't here, would you have thrown yourself at me? He shoves the memory back onto its shelf. Throwing his full attention onto Jesper, he teases him with quick little flicks of his tongue and glancing kisses, caresses his balls.

His shamelessness is appealing. It's a window into a world Wilhelm hasn't had a chance to explore — and he can't help but want to join him there. Curling his hand around the base of Jesper's cock, he stretches his mouth over the flushed head. As he sinks lower, his eyes flutter upward, seeking approval. He wants Jesper's hands buried in his hair. His husky voice spilling sweet nicknames and raunchy encouragements. Anything and everything.

"Mmm, not into public sex, noted." Jesper is into just about anything. He honestly has yet to get pitched an idea that he wasn't down for trying. He would say he maybe has some favorites, and almost-caught sex is not on that list. It's a yes though. Fun for certain, thrilling, and absolutely magnificent when pulled off right. But he's not surprised in the least that Wilhelm is more modest about that. They are still learning each other and he likes that.

The way he nuzzles into Jesper's cock like a cat really does a number on him, it is very sex, how little he seems to mind. Jesper is very cloesly watching too, licking his lips as he sees some of his come paint over those soft cheeks. "Saints," is all he says as he watches that. Just picturesque in a very crude way.

"Yes, fuck, yes." Jesper's head tilts back for a moment as he gets overwhelmed with a rush of pure desire, the pleasure rolling off him. Wilhelm's mouth is hot and consuming and he digs his fingers into his hair just as he wants. "You're doing perfect, love, your mouth should be illegal." He shudders and manages to go up on an elbow so he can blatantly watch.

Seeing himself disappearing into Wilhelm's mouth, the look in his pretty eyes as he looks up for approval, Jesper smiles at him, suggestive and smooth. "You need this don't you, Wille?" His fingers tighten in his hair. "You want to get me off. Want me to spill between those perfect lips." He pushes up toward him just a little bit, not enough to gag him.

"Come on, pigeon. Make me see stars."

Jesper's babbling pours over Wilhelm as he fills his mouth with him. Raw and lurid, it should embarrass him, but drenched in charm, Jesper somehow transforms every word into something silky and sweet, electric and exciting.

It pins him to the present, too, with the reminder that this isn't Simon tensing and twisting beneath him. Closing his eyes would be easy enough. Imagining it were him sharing this bed — his hard heat cradled in Wilhelm's mouth like it's sacred, his fingers woven in his hair where they belong. But that isn't fair to any of them. Simon, who remains untouchable in his memory. Jesper, who's working so hard at distracting him. His own heart.

Lacking practice, Wilhelm can't accommodate every inch. He stops when he feels Jesper's cock press against the back of his tongue, nudge against the opening of his throat. What he can't fit in his mouth, he keeps stroking as he pulls back and slides down again. But there's evidence he's done this before: he's careful not to scrape his teeth along Jesper's length, creating a cushion with his lips and tongue.

Eager to discover what will snatch Jesper's breath away, he experiments with the rhythm. He pulls his mouth off slowly, squeezing him in the hot cinch of tongue and cheeks, then plunges down all at once. He slurps at his head, lapping at the underside and tracing circles with his tongue. He angles himself to guide Jesper's cock into the soft hold of his cheek, letting it create a visible bulge in the side of his mouth.

And at each shift, he measures Jesper through long lashes. He watches for stars.

Wilhelm might not be as practiced but he is doing just great as far as Jesper is concerned. Sometimes perfect skill isn't required; enthusiasm more than makes up for it. He isn't thinking about anyone but Wilhelm right then, he's definitely put his mind past that sort of fractured consideration. He hasn't thought about another soft-haired youth in months. It's only them in there, for him.

He likes the experimentation and seeing Wilhelm go outside of his comfort zone and that is getting him up the hill, especially when he laps at the underside, sending little shocks of pleasure through Jesper. He goes wild for a moment in reaction to that, digging his fingers in tighter. His other hand takes advantage of the beautiful glimpse of the bulge and traces his fingers along it, feeling himself push against it through Wille's mouth. That just about does it right there.

"Wille. Wilhelm." His fingers hold Wilhelm's head in place but he doesn't push forward or anything, he is rather gentle about it, he isn't going to gag him. He needs to let that wet heat surround him and he crashes back on the bed, no longer able to keep on his elbow at all. The moment his head hits the mattress he releases into his perfect mouth, releasing his hair almost immediately so he doesn't feel forced. Also because his hand drops away from the sheer burst of pleasure shooting through his veins. There are stars, but only he can see them.

"Oh sweetheart, you pretty thing," Jesper groans, wiping hands over his face. He is all loose and warm now. "That was exactly what I needed."

Although he can tell that Jesper is close, hurtling toward that peak, ready to plunge right off, it still catches him by surprise when he actually reaches it. Jesper crashes to the mattress, and a warm, sharp taste fills Wilhelm's mouth. Reflexively, as one does when something unexpected happens, he pulls back. Now that his jaw doesn't have to strain so wide, swallowing is easier.

Except, Jesper hasn't finished. Wilhelm catches a pearly streak of cum across his cheek, another on his lips, before he seals his mouth around Jesper's cockhead to try to catch the rest. Milking him with steady strokes, he sucks and laps at him until Jesper falls still, as if pleasure is a tidal wave that has surged through him and left him washed up on some shore.

Well, wherever it's swept him to, Wilhelm is content to be there with him. He answers Jesper's little pet names, which from a less gorgeous mouth might sound patronizing, with a kiss nestled against his hipbone. His hair, falling in a curtain, brushes his skin. Crawling back up to Jesper, he curls up at his side. His touch as he traces his tattoos again is shy, as if he hadn't just done his damndest to suck him dry. As if his face isn't still sticky with the evidence.

"Can we just...stay like this for a little while?" he murmurs.

He isn't ready to go back to where his anxiety snarls him and his loneliness guts him.

Jesper is amazed at the lingering of Wilhelm's mouth on him to the point where he's not sure how long a moan of his has gone, but it is quite a long time. And well-deserved. It keeps the experience lasting and he somehow knows how to stop before it's too much. Leading Jesper to decide he really and truly needs to lock this boy down. This is not going to be a one-off. He needs more of him.

He manages to open his eyes when Wilhelm moves up to his side and he turns so he can face him. Jesper is affectionate so he has no hesitation as he cuddles in close to Wilhelm, lifting a hand to run comfortably along the side of his body and to his soft back. He leans in to kiss Wilhelm again, slow and sweet, licking the taste of himself off his lip as he does.

"We can stay as long as you want, Wille." Jesper nuzzles his nose, breathing him in deeply. He feels warm, relaxed, and content, and there are few things better than a pretty boy in his bed. "Did you have fun, pigeon?" Jesper promised him a fun time, and he wants to make sure he delivered.

His happiness is the fragile, hollow kind that falls apart if you think about it too much. So he resolves not to think about anything but Jesper's touch sketching his body, Jesper's lips caressing his. His countenance taut with pleasure, as it had just been moments ago, mouth stretched around a moan and eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. Being that Jesper has hinted at having a plethora of partners, Wilhelm is pleased that he could cause enough damage to make him buckle like that.

So...did he have fun? Nodding, he smiles into Jesper's chest.

"Mm...yeah. I had fun."

With a kiss brushed against the Wheel of Fortune that's worked into Jesper's tattoo, Wilhelm draws away — but only to reach over the side of the bed and grab his underwear. Now that they've both tumbled down from the heights of pleasure, he feels...well, a little naked. Once he's pulled them on, he rolls back to Jesper. Back to chest, he tugs his arm over himself like a blanket.

"Then...can you hold me?"

Like Jesper's warmth might be a ward, keeping away all of the bad things.

Edited 2022-12-29 04:35 (UTC)

Jesper doesn't bother with clothes because he is comfortable this way, but he doesn't protest Wilhelm getting something on. Well, out loud. This is the Horizon so he can easily make a blanket on top of them for real, but he also puts an arm around him, pulling Wilhelm snugly back against him. He kisses his cheek and nuzzles his nose into Wilhelm's neck, settling there.

"Of course, sweetheart. As long as you need."

Update: I'm going with Diana for a supply run.

[Checking in is necessary when plans change, especially among their crew. Kaz already knows, but Jesper still needs to be informed.]

Oh so we're both headed out? You know, good thing we have this, because otherwise Kaz would be losing it.

Oh, he'll be fine. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And he knows we're the best of the best, that's why he hired us.

I think he's flirty over this thing, if it happens, don't be as shocked as I am.

Exactly.

Are you certain you aren't reading into it wrong?

[Either Jesper wanting to see it that way, or Kaz utterly not meaning it Like That™ are both entirely possible.]

I keep wondering that, I'm not sure if he's actually playing mind games as revenge for me leaving.

I’m not entirely sure he ever knows when he IS flirting.

It's unsettling, make it stop.

I can try, but I make no promises.

Tell him being a tease is not nice!

I’ll find a way to slip it into the conversation.

[Or just be absolutely blunt with him— both have potential to be useful in conversations with the likes of Kaz Brekker. Depends on the day and the situation which tactic works best.]

Edited 2022-10-02 01:45 (UTC)

Sorry, I know it's weird I asked. I'm not saying that he would or anything, you two are you two.

It isn’t. No one else knows exactly the way it feels, when he turns his attention on you and gets suave with his words and starts making grand, sweeping speeches tailored specifically to you.

[Which isn’t this exact case, but she knows Jesper has been in the receiving end of Kaz doing this— and something with some flirtatious edge? Well, that’s just specifically tailored, grand, sweeping speech on a smaller scale, isn’t it?

And from anyone else, it would just sound like talk. The right thing to say in the moment to twist things just enough to get it tilted all in his favor. But he isn’t anyone else, and Inej knows there is no one else but the two of them that know.

So, no, it doesn’t strike her as a weird thing to ask. Who else could he go to about the likes of Kaz Brekker, anyway?]

Oh Saints you do understand. That is exactly what it felt like for a minute.

[ And since she knows Jesper, she knows that it would unsettle him, throw him. He's gone all this time without special attention from Kaz, although there has been. He's his second, there is trust and affection between them, but it's different when there's an undercurrent of flirting. ]

Yeah, I do.
Now, imagine being me.

[A light tease lobbed his way- a break in that blink of something chest-tight and anxious. She doesn't have to wonder if he'll pick up on it, because he's him.

There is no diminishing his experience, here, though: She doesn't flip it around as a holier-than-thou sort of move, only as a perspective to hold up against his own.

The way Kaz cares for people is always specific and tailored. His attention to detail, no matter how small or throwaway a comment might be in the moment of a conversation, makes the whole thing more intense.]

I genuinely don't know what I'd do if he acted like this in person. Make an absolute fool of myself, no doubt. It's probably better it's only on this.

Aw, come on. You really think he could get to you that much?

[There's a pause between notes, but she does add: ]

Might be kind of cute. Don't think I've ever seen you properly flustered in anyone's presence.

That's because I never have been, but I am positive this would be that exception. I can't lose my reputation as the smoothest person around.

We’ll keep it a secret, only the 3 of us would ever need to know.

Edited 2022-10-06 06:36 (UTC)

Would it be alright with you? If we were flirting? I know you two are a thing, I wouldn't want to make it awkward.

[Her words come in slow pieces, not an overwhelming onslaught all at once.]

I don't know if I'd call us..."a thing", really. I mean... there's definitely SOMEthing.

Possibility. Potential. If he ever gets his head out of his arse.

But classifying it- us- as "a thing" seems far more defined than how it ever really feels with him.

[There's a pause and an amused huff that's expressed where he can't see it.]

But we've had this conversation, Jesper. It's no different now than it was then.

I've fully accepted that we've both chosen him, in our own ways, for our own reasons, but let's be honest: Neither one of us owns any piece of Kaz Brekker that he didn't already want us to have in our hands to begin with.

He says he's serious, but seems worried he'll lose us if it goes wrong. Which I promised wouldn't happen.

I mean he passes out from a kiss so it's not like we're talking about anything physically serious. But it's not as if I don't love you both already. Maybe just understanding that is something?

Saints, doesn't he know by now we're not going anywhere?

[Inej especially, has had plenty of points that she could had left, but she hadn't. Hasn't. Won't.]

You're the only one of us doing anything casually physical anyway.

[No judgement!]

It IS something. It will just take some time. He barely knows how to be honest with himself, nevermind other people, where feelings are involved.

To be fair, we did arguably 'leave.' Me with Wylan, you with the ship. He can intellectually understand why we did it and still feel left.

That's fine by me. I told him to think about it. It's not as if anything really has to change outside of acknowledging we all love each other, you know?

He had to know I'd come back...

[Of course he knew. He wouldn't have let her go so easily if he'd thought otherwise would he?]

True. I don't think it would, really.
Change much, I mean.
We're already sort of...a unit, and an assumed package deal, aren't we? You pick one Crow, you get the flock.

I'm sure there are always doubts.

Exactly. It's us, no matter what. Although if this means I get to flirt with Kaz with intent, then I'm glad for the slight addition.

Stupid paranoia.

To firmly answer your earlier question, if it wasn't clear from the result conversation: It doesn't bother me.

I mean, the guy is wound up tight, I didn't even know about the touch thing until recently.

I'm glad, you know I would never do anything to hurt you.

Tighter than a 9 day clock sometimes. I knew it was an issue before, but not to the extent it is.

I'd never doubt it. I trust you, Jesper. Implicitly.

For the record, I've also thought about you that way, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Considering what you've been through.

[ He means considering what she used to do. Being a sex slave must give her a complicated relationship with everything, and Jesper being Jesper, he would never do anything to hurt her. He never wants to be seen as her former customers.]

I appreciate that. But I've never been uncomfortable with you, Jesper.

Good. There's nothing that could ever matter to me more than you two.

I love you, too.

Where are you?

[The first message is utterly devoid of any real concern, it's late but not drastically so, it's a simple check-in.

But as the hour drags later and later, her messages come quicker and quicker.]

Did you run off into the Horizon?

Actually getting worried at this point, it's been 2 days.

Jes?

[ If there was such a thing as a 'read' message on here it would show, but he's silent. TOO GUILTY. ]

Did you hear about Nocwich opening up for visitors this weekend?

It would be fun to go.

[Like together. To hang out and stuff.]

[ Jesper sees this and smiles, which he's been doing less and less lately. ]

Oh would it be? Did you have something in mind, pigeon?

[Relief loosens the knot of his heart when Jesper's reply appears in his field of vision. Wilhelm had slipped into the occasional habit of messaging him when he was bored — just little nothings, observations, and complaints. Then last month trampled his mood back into the ground, and again he withdrew from everybody else. Even though it wasn't what he actually wanted.

It doesn't occur to him that Jesper, always smiling, with so much confidence for armor, could have undergone a similar shift in mood.]

Well

I couldn't do a lot last time, because I was broke. Now I'm not AS broke.

[ He's not going to make it that easy for him, mostly because he thinks Wilhelm's adorable and probably could use the practice of asking a man out. ]

Interesting! And what were you thinking of spending your money on?

What if I got a tattoo?

Haha.

I have three tattoos, as you already know. I think it would look sexy on you.

[Alone, he hides a shy smile in his hand. Yes, he knows. He doesn't know how to react to being called sexy, though. It has nothing to do with Jesper and everything to do with a compromising video of himself that got splashed all over social media. Sexy stops feeling like a compliment when it's banged out in all capital letters and a flurry of exclamation points by thousands of strangers.

Anyway.]

No, no way. I wouldn't even know what to get.

It is important to know what you want, yeah. And communicate those wants.

[ Hint hint. ]

[Okay, right.]

I guess it doesn't really matter what we do, I just

I want to see you. Outside of the Horizon.

Oh are you asking me out? What a surprise!

[ Jesper is just being playful though. ]

I'd love to go on a date with you in Nocwich, Wille.

So meet me tomorrow in Oleuni Square for lunch?

I'll make up for last time.

[When they missed their chance to kiss because Jesper thought he was straight, and because Wilhelm is too awkward for life.]

I'll be there.

Do you have a favorite color, by the way?

Blue, I guess.

Why? Or is it supposed to be a surprise?

A surprise. You'll see.

I'll try not to let the suspense kill me.

[ On Christmas morning, there will be a box wrapped in gold paper waiting in front of the door of Jesper's room. A card on top bears his name in Julie's handwriting, and the inside wishes him a merry Christmas.

Inside the box is an ornate, hand-carved poker set in a matching wooden case. A small card inside says that playing for fun doesn't hurt, and if he ever needs to be distracted, she's willing to play as many hands as he wants.

Merry Christmas. ]

[From here]

The thrill of being with someone new never gets old, and Jesper endlessly throws himself into passionate embraces. This is not the first time he has seduced a person at a dinner table, but it is still a special situation because it is here and now and it is Kell. Every person is unique. He can tell that this may be a little new to Kell, he is coming along with him without question, but he seems nervous. Up until they are finally alone and the question has been asked.

Jesper smiles when the kiss comes as an answer and he returns it with fire. Their pleasant verbal foreplay and rising tension at the table means he has been hungry for this and waiting, pouring his withheld desire into Kell's mouth. He is confident as his tongue swipes against his lips, a silent request to open, so he can explore Kell. They both taste of the wine at the party and it is sweet.

While this position allows him to press his body up against Kell, pinning him between Jesper and the door, he wants the man horizontal. Jesper kisses him until he's barely breathing, turning them so that Kell's back is to the room instead of the door. He walks him backward, an arm securely wrapped around his waist to keep hold of him. Jesper has a grace about him in this, the practice of many lustful nights, and he kisses him a few more times on the journey before pushing him back on the bed.

He undoes his belt from his bright red banquet clothes and smirks down at Kell. "You ever done this before? Snuck away with a relative stranger?" He doesn't seem the type now that they're here, which is flattering of course.

Kell can't tell if what he feels is more nerves or excitement. It's most likely both. This was never his style. He was always the responsible one. Look at him now. Sneaking out of an official banquet to kiss some handsome stranger in his cabin. With hopes for a lot more than just a kiss. It's madness, but it's a wonderful madness.

If it feels that he opens for Jesper's tongue a little too fast, a little too eager, it's only because his own desire has been building through their conversation at the table until he's unable to contain it any more. Kell always felt a sense of pride in his self-control. How he could keep himself sober and indistractable through any feast. Now, it feels as if he has none of it left.

Now, he's sinking into the kiss, half-aware of his surroundings, almost tripping when Jesper moves them around, so there's no longer the support of the door helping him keep his balance. Not falling only for the steady arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bed. There's not a shred of resistance, not to the kisses - those are very well received, and reciprocated in kind - not to the strong hands that push him down on the bed.

"Never this handsome."

Kell's voice is closer to a satisfied purr, a content smile dancing on his lips, though he barely notices it himself. He's not aware of his own wants and desires most of the time. It's not different now. All he knows now is that there's a hungry beast inside of him that demands its tribute in pleasure. And it grows all the hungrier as he watches Jesper undo his belt. Anticipation raising with every move of those swift fingers.

"And never from an official banquet."

He could have lied. Could have said he's done this many times. It would have been so easy. It would have made him look good. It would also be very wrong. As sudden and crazy all they do now feels, Kell wants to be honest with this gorgeous man who so effortlessly shattered all his carefully constructed barriers. It feels very wrong not to. No matter how much the force of his own lust surprises him.

Jesper's found that the most controlled of people do best when it's a surprise that throws off their game, something unexpected and sudden that requires them to react rather than think. And he loves making people stop thinking. No thinking, only feeling. He is usually very adaptable to whoever his partner is or what they want, but Kell enjoyed being seduced, so that is who he is. The seducer, the challenged.

He laughs at the compliment and winks since he always loves stroking to his ego, or anything else of his. Jesper runs his fingers through Kell's beautiful red hair and goes onto his knees beside the bed, between Kell's knees. He tugs his shoes off and then slides his hands up Kell's ankles to his knees and his thighs, very close as gray eyes flicker up to look at his face.

"The only thing on that table I wanted was you. Unfortunately it wouldn't have gone over well if I did have you on that table." Jesper grins at him, playfully dancing his fingers to Kell's waistband before going up instead to work on getting his coat and shirt off. It's definitely too hot in here for the layers this cold place required.

"Tell me something, Kell." Jesper is very much a talker in bed as he is about to find out in detail. "If the most handsome stranger you've ever seen seduced you out of an official banquet, what would you want from him?" He is hasty to get hands on bare skin, Kell's pale skin in particular, all soft and light. "Assuming you can have anything."

Words. It's where Jesper looses him. At words. At the question. One that assumes that Kell knows. One that makes him think.

To actually get his head back into the situation and face all the screeching noises it has been making that he was blissfully ignoring up to this point. Blissfully ignoring by only focusing on Jesper. What he does. How it feels. If there's anything that Kell has truly ever mastered, it is focus. He can concentrate with such laser intensity that all world recedes into the background. It could stop existing altogether. There's nothing there, but the object of his attention.

It is this inhuman focus that Kell turns on Jesper hands, without one conscious thought. In a stroke of pure instinct. Of mind and body going into it's most preferred mode. Seeing, feeling, acknowledging Jesper's every move, tagging every reaction his own body is having, feeling, making, when those hands slide up his ankles, his knees, his thighs. Noting with equally alien clarity the heat rising in their wake.

Then Jesper decides to talk, and Kell's focus is broken. Suddenly, he's aware of his position on the bed, of the weird angle that he looks at Jesper. Kell blinks, then burns deep, dark red of embarrassment. Heat draining from him faster than it bloomed.

This is a very bad idea. his mind screeches. You really don't know what you are doing, do you? If you're going to ruin it like that, you'd might as well not start at all.

"I..." Kell starts. He trips over his words, breaks, closes his eyes for a moment, before he's able to continue. Sounding all defeated now. Well, it was nice while it lasted. "It is a very unlikely situation to ever happen to me."

It still sounds better than I have no idea.

You're really way over your head in it.

It is very rare that Jesper talking sultry in the bedroom leads to a screeching halt in someone's comfort, so he is genuinely startled for a moment. He does know some people don't like dirty talk or it embarrasses them, but Kell's reaction is confusing. Not confusing enough it makes him move or anything, but he does tilt his head curiously.

"Hey." Jesper cups Kell's face in his hands firmly. Getting his attention, distracting him from whatever is spiraling in his mind. He is very good at making people listen to him. "It is happening to you. I want you. All you have to do is want me back." He can make this incredibly simple and if that is what Kell needs, fine. As if he minds in the least, he can get this back on track.

"Follow my lead, Kell. You won't regret it, I promise." Jesper smiles and he kisses him then, not at all slow and sweet, dirty and thorough, consuming right off the bat. If he has to get him so lustful again that he can't worry, he is absolutely capable of that. Jesper decides to be forward and moves up to outright climb onto Kell's lap, straddling him with his long legs and moving his hands over his bare torso.

Jesper pulls his own shirt off and leans in close, pressing their bodies against each other, hoping that the distraction of warm skin will fix this problem.

Kell is a bundle of contradictions. That's his secret. He can be horny and insecure at the same time. He's just talented like that. As fast to grasp at what he wants, as he is to convince himself he can't or shouldn't have it.

But the hands on his chin, the touch, the heat, is enough to draw Kell back. His gaze glazing over into focus to fix on Jesper. The red stays, it flows even lower, staining Kell's neck in small drops and pools of colour, but his eyes have the fire in them again. I want you These three words are enough for the flames to rise up under his skin. So little, and yet so much.

"I do" Kell licks his lips, finding them parched again. "I do want you back."

Because, saints, does he want now! As if any of this was less confusing. The whole mess of his own wants and reactions. There's no denying that desire is there. Under the tangle of ... well, everything else.

Then Jesper kisses him, fierce and hungry, and there's little else - nothing really - that Kell can focus on from that moment. Then there's weight on hips, that pushes him down into the mattress, tears a low moan from his lips, as Jesper climbs him, his long fingers sliding down Kell's chest setting his skin alight. Kell's arms go round Jesper's shoulders touching, mapping all over his bare back. His whole body arching upward.

"Show me"

Jesper has never failed at recalibrating a person in his bed when it's necessary so he is not surprised when Kell goes back to reacting with heat and fervor. He does wonder for a moment if he's a virgin or just inexperienced, but it doesn't matter, he has chosen to be here and Jesper's going to reward him for it. He certainly reacts intensely to everything Jesper is doing which is deeply satisfying, he does love an expressive lover.

"I will," he promises, kissing Kell again to get him hungry. And because he wants to get a taste of him one more time before he gets distracted. Jesper pulls back and abruptly pushes Kell back down on the bed so he is perched on top of him. Jesper is long and lean in build, his darker skin smooth and his arms covered in tattoos. He would usually enjoy getting a look at that flushed red skin of Kell's, but he thinks it best he doesn't give the man time to squirm under his gaze.

He swoops down quickly, hands framing Kell's head much like he did on the door, and he runs his tongue along the curves of Kell's mouth without kissing him. Jesper moves down his body, pushing some of his weight down so Kell can feel him, a rock of their hips so he can enjoy some friction, so they both can. His mouth works its way down the curve of his neck, licking and sucking on his soft pale skin.

He decides to take his time in terms of making this more sensual and slow for Kell since he is reacting so intensely to everything, he may as well make it especially good for him if he isn't used to this. Jesper goes into every hook up with the mindset he wants more than one go, so it's like an audition. He kisses his way down Kell's chest and then deliberately and slowly circles his tongue around one of Kell's nipples. At the same time one of his hands moves down to directly press the palm of it against the fabric over his pants, rubbing teasingly.

Thing is, Kell is not a virgin. He had his share of fun times while growing up. More or less awkward. More or less actually pleasant. Some he even remembers fondly. Then, there was Lila. It's more a question of character. Of what he lets himself to want or do. This has been a severely limited list for such a long time. With the most of what he truly wanted off the list entirely. It will be difficult to ditch the habit. He's barely even aware of it now.

But Kell's definitely not shy or timid, when he finally lets himself do things. Once he does, he doesn't feel the need to hold back, so yes, that makes him quite expressive in his reactions. The kiss works wonders. Jesper soon has Kell kissing back with renewed fervour. As if they never stopped.

Then there are many things Kell doesn't know about himself. Like the startled gasp he makes when Jesper all but falls down on him, cornering him like he did at the door. A gasp that quickly turns into another moan. Nigh impossible to say if it's the denied kiss, the friction, or Jesper's lips on his neck, that has drawn it, and a quick stream of its successors.

Kell throws his head back, eyes shuts, as he exposes more of his throat for Jesper to devour. Arching his chest up into the sensation of Jesper's tongue on his quickly hardening nipples. His hips into the teasing hand. There can be little doubt what Jesper's touch does to him.

Kell is back to being damn near starving for this and Jesper is happy to oblige. Whatever his experience level, it seems like it's been awhile since he really let himself loose. He'll take that as a compliment and also as a challenge. Better make it worth it. Jesper loves when his partners are loud, he loves when they moan and catch their breath, it fills him with pride and his own hunger.

Jesper licks each nipple until they're hard and then suckles on them, his mouth moving down in a very clear direction until he gets to the top of Kell's pants. He smiles up at him and then has to sit up. "Move up on the bed more." He wants him to be comfortable and it also gives Jesper the time to shuck off the rest of his clothes. There is nothing shy or hesitant about him, he is as casual naked as he is closed, and there's no reason for him to second-guess.

He waits until Kell does that so he can come back over to him to divest Kell of his remaining clothes, tossing them to the side, he'll be able to find them easily later at least. Jesper isn't satisfied until all of that perfect pale skin is exposed to him and he licks his lips. "Beautiful," he murmurs, completely genuine. Kell is gorgeous. He forwardly encourages Kell's legs to spread so he can slide back between them and get back to his plan.

"Do you want my mouth on you?" Jesper presses kisses down until his lips have touched everywhere but Kell's hardness, a tease of a tongue against the base but he is intentionally not going further. He nuzzles at him, gray eyes nearly silver in lust, looking up toward him. "I want a yes." He smirks. "A please wouldn't hurt." The problem with talking before was giving Kell too many options to angst over. This is direct in comparison.

Part of it is that Kell really didn't get as much sex as he'd like to in the last ... eh... few months? Too stressed, depressed, angry, confused, and generally miserable to seek it. Between the Heralds' thing, Lunar Pond disaster, the nightmares, he just wasn't in the mood. And then there were other things, more private and personal, that kept him from even trying to think about the thing.

The other part, is that Kell's really that intense. Once he committed to something, he really goes all in. Head first, no stops.

Here, on this trip, his intentions are more like the latter. He's done with misery. Kell didn't actively seek an occasion for a hook-up. That's really not his style. But wasn't planning to miss such a pretty chance when it presented to itself to him. A very handsome chance. And very skilled one as it turns out.

Kell works great under clear direction. It all goes smoother when he doesn't have much to mull over. It's better when he doesn't have to think at all. A small, disappointed sigh escapes him when Jesper moves away to undress. But the view makes it up tenfold. Kell openly stares at the other man's naked body. How could he not to? It's perfect. He wants to put his hands all over it, and not only his hands.
Kell's eyes glide over Jesper's cock. He licks his lips, briefly musing how it would feel to touch it, to taste it. Jesper did ask him before what the wants. This might be one of those things. But he doesn't only stare, he moves further up just as Jesper instructed, and he's well awarded for it.

He only grows aware how tight and restrictive his own pants now feel when Jesper removes them from him, freeing Kell's now very hard cock. Strong hands urge his legs apart as Jesper slides between them with effortless ease. Soon Kell is back on moans and whimpers, with Jesper's lips everywhere but where he wants them most. But Jesper is a very indulgent lover, and he clearly reads the sings of Kell's body better than Kell himself. So of course he asks the right question.

"Yes" Kell's reply is a long moan. A please wouldn't hurt. "Please." But he hasn't finished yet. "And I want my mouth on you too."

Later. Now he's all shivering with anticipation for Jesper's mouth on him. He is, after all, a rather selfish prince.

Kell's hungry look at him naked is greatly appreciated and he has no doubt this enthusiasm is going to go both ways, but he is a natural aggressor and there are few better ways to soothe uncertainty than a blow job to knock all thoughts away entirely. It is his go-to move because it's a very good move that he absolutely loves to do. He loves the flush of Kell's skin and he would be lying if that wasn't one of his favorite qualities of the fair-skinned redheads he's met. So colorful, one look at them and he can see all their desire.

"Good boy," Jesper chuckles, rewarding him right away with a lick of his tongue from the base of his cock to the tip. It curls at the top and laps at the head gently to get him started. "You can have anything you want. All you have to do is ask." He doubts he has to worry about Kell getting too anxious again. Now that he has him firmly in hand, his long fingers wrapping around his cock, he is confident Kell will think of nothing but him from now on. He means what he says, Kell can put his mouth on him, he can put his cock in him or vice versa, Jesper is incredibly adaptable and down for all options.

Right now though he wants to feast. He holds him steady and while normally he might tease him a little longer, he did say please and that should be rewarded. Jesper laps at the tip until he gets a good taste and then lowers his mouth down to surround Kell but only fully covering the head. He curls his tongue along the sensitive underside of it and hollows his cheeks in, suckling as he makes his hot wet mouth tighter to get him started.

The drag of Jesper's tongue on his cock makes Kell's toes curl, blood thundering through his veins. His fingers find their way to sink into Jesper's hair.

Saints, he's good.

All those dramatics risk making him look as if he'd never got a proper blow-job before. It would have been a very wrong conclusion. But there are good blow-jobs and there are exquisite. It's not difficult to divine from Kell's reactions what he thinks about the current one. Jesper has only just started, and he's already reduced Kell to a puddle of barely coherent mess. At a risk of completely melting into the sheets if this continues.

"A...aha--anything?" Kell regains enough control over his tongue to ask a question of his own. Now that you got him talking, he'd never stop. "It's a dangerous thing to promise to a magician."

A selfish, princeling magician, who'd like nothing more than to be indulged, praised and pampered, filled to the brim and brought to senseless ecstasy. That's a side of him that Kell rarely explores. He's the responsible one, the strong and powerful Antari. But under skilled hands - and tongue - of a total stranger, who knows nothing of his past, his role, his former and current duties, it feels safer to let go. If only for one night. Kell already feels - though he's not that fast to admit it, even to himself - that he'd rather like to make it more than one night. Improbable, yes, but wouldn't it be nice.

Jesper is someone who truly enjoys every second of sex, there is something wonderfully sensual and lusty about him, an air of someone who wants to touch and be touched, who could be the definition of sultry when gray eyes snap up to look at Kell from his current position. He smirks around him and pulls off him, his hand stroking from the base up to the tip and his thumb caressing the top, using the saliva and precum to slick him up a little better on the rest of his shaft. He pumps him slowly, knowing exactly the picture he makes as he taunts his cock with licks again, but only to answer him.

"Anything. For example, you can fuck my mouth. I don't have a gag reflex." It's something he always alerts his lovers to because he knows it is the type of thing they'd want to know. And so he never has to worry about any desperate apologies for going too deep. Jesper's hunger is only heightened when someone uses his talented mouth for what it was meant to do.

That message given with a wink, he acts quickly and without any mercy. Jesper swoops down, holding him firmly again, and swallows Kell down like he's a five star meal he can't hold back from savoring. He takes his cock well past the head and down, down, his throat relaxing, lost in the pleasant feeling of being full. Kell is burning hot and throbbing and Jesper wants to make him lose that too-worried mind of his. He no longer goes slow, he has a quick pace of bobbing his head up and down, relentless as he moans around him. There's the obscene sound of his lips suctioning around him and the gulping down of his length.

It may be a bit cruel for a first time, driving so fast at making Kell's mind explode, but he likes to make a good first impression. His other hand finds Kell's and makes certain that it slides into his hair so he can control him if he wants. All it takes is a firmer grip and Jesper will be passive in an instant, letting Kell take more if he wants it.

Gorgeous people who are well aware of their own attractiveness have unfair advantage. The moment their eyes meet, Kell fells victim of this advantage. The long stare, content and confident, that Jesper gives him would have been enough to boil his blood. But the view, the fact that this stunning man looks at him like that while slowly, decadently licking and sucking his cock? As if he was the best thing in the world. Which, honestly, and Kell is very aware of it, he is not. But it leaves no space for any such thoughts in his mind. Apart from the one about how fucking hot Jesper looks when he stares at him like that.

And then Jesper has the audacity to taunt him even more. As if he hasn't already wrapped Kell around his ... no, not finger, rather his inhumanly talented tongue. Kell's eyes fly open at Jesper suggestion. Desire flashes his vision all white. Fuck his mouth? Saints! He wants to fuck him everywhere now, but there? That sounds divine. It makes Kell's hips buck involuntarily.

He has no time to respond. No time to react even, no time for words or even a single grunt. Kell sucks in air through his teeth when Jesper descends down on him as if he was holding back right until this point and only now lost all control over his own hunger. As if Kell's cock somehow was the greatest delicacy the world can offer and Jesper just could not stop himself from devouring it.
Kell feels more than hears Jesper moan against his overstimulated hardness. The vibrations threatening to send him over the edge any second. Blanking his brain with every tiny rumble.

There's not a single conscious thought left in his mind. Nothing other than the raging lust, the crushing imperative to thrust deep between those luscious lips, shoot hot cum down his throat and have Jesper take it all.
Kell takes Jesper guiding his hand into his hair as a permission to do exactly that. His grip tightens on Jesper's silky locks. Pull gentle but firm. Expecting, asking, rather politely requesting that Jesper kindly relinquishes all control to him, and lets Kell fuck his mouth deep, as deep as he wants to fill him.

Edited (change of icon) 2023-01-14 00:04 (UTC)

Kell also looks fantastic like this although Jesper is too busy to tell him so, he can later on. He is flushed prettily, his unique eyes intense and caught in Jesper's own challenging gaze. He responds so freely, so eagerly, and there are very things more attractive than that. To be wanted this openly, to be lusted after as if Jesper isn't already giving him bliss, it feeds into his ego and his desire. He is unfair in how aggressively he demands Kell's attention and swallows him down greedily in order to make him helpless with need.

Once Kell's fingers slide into his hair intentionally, a firm demand on his strands, Jesper does exactly as requested. He stops the assault on Kell's cock although he keeps his mouth around the head, holding there. It makes it much easier for Kell to thrust forward if he's already inside, but otherwise, Jesper wants to feel that entire length push into him. He offered this because he lives for it. He enjoys someone making his throat raw, his voice scratchy, his eyes tear a little at the corners from the pressure.

Once he is certain Kell has a good grip and he won't fall out of his mouth, Jesper releases him and doesn't go passive outside of his lips. The slicker hand starts caressing the sensitive skin of his balls, wanting to feel them tense before he releases. His other hand slides up Kell's stomach to rub the sharp points of his nipples. Jesper doesn't go easy, he makes this an attack on every part of Kell's body so he can be lost in sensation.

If he had even the smallest chance to think, the tiniest fraction of a second, Kell would have been quite mortified by what he's doing. He could blame it all on alcohol. He's been drinking heavily since the beginning of this whole trip. It would have been easy.
Truth is, booze has nothing to do with it, other maybe that loosening up some of his hang-ups about going out to have sex with a complete stranger. It has nothing to do with the fact that when presented with the possibility, Kell falls into it with almost feral thirst. If he had even the slightest chance to think, he'd be terrified what it must say about him to have such needs and desires. The power and intensity of them. Insatiable hunger, a void that cannot be filled. So maybe it's for the better, than Jesper's onslaught on his body doesn't leave any room for thought.

Kell shifts himself slightly, so he has a better grip on Jesper's hair, better control of the way his hips move, and a better view. Because what a view it is. He starts slow, thrusting into the wet heat of Jesper's mouth a little deeper every time, until he's all in, the head of his cock plunging in and out of the other man's throat. Kell's already overstimulated, he almost comes the first time it happens. Only able to hold it by sheer willpower. He wants it to last, to bury his cock all the way down this luscious mouth, press against the back of Jesper's throat. It takes a few more thrusts, and Jesper's hands, those long, slender fingers tormenting his balls and nipples, for orgasm to finally hit Kell, and he comes with a long moan; eyes closed, whole body going taut like string, shooting hot into Jesper's mouth. His grip on Jesper's lightens, whole body going limp as pleasure crashes through him with blinding, maddening waves. Leaving him helpless, utterly at Jesper's mercy.

When the world comes back into focus, Kell sighs. Saints, this was good. His eyes glaze over Jesper's body with lazy content, taking in the view with obvious delight. Kell's magic swirls around them in curling waves, like a leftover electricity from a summer storm, the scent of ozone in the air.

"Beautiful," he purrs, fingers idly tracing a line down Jesper's jaw. "See what you've done? Now I want even more of you."

Jesper never overthinks this, it is something he is so sure of. It is fun to get someone else who may be more anxious to let go though. That hiccup Kell had briefly is completely ignored now that he is getting the pleasure sucked out of him, which was his intent. Jesper moans very loudly at the first thrust Kell does, vibrating around him, and his noises start to get cut off by how deep Kell's going. He loves it, getting stuffed full like this, Kell using him to chase his needs. He opens his mouth and keeps his throat open and lets Kell fuck into him as roughly as he wants. There is no question by the way he touches him in between, his clever fingers moving on Kell, that this is how he likes it.

His intention was to get Kell out of his mind very fast so it loosens him up, because he is far from done with him too. It's best to knock a bloke fast with an orgasm so he is less likely to get in his head again. That is why he is so relentless on pleasing Kell until he lets go. He swallows eagerly when Kell begins shooting into his mouth and he dribbles over a little due to how deep he is but he doesn't mind. It's easy to wipe the edges as he pulls off and simply lick them off his fingers. He would lick Kell clean too if it wouldn't be over-stimulating.

Kell's purring and relaxed and Jesper's proud about that, smiling up at him and wiping his mouth. "Good, because I'm far from done with you, handsome." Jesper's hard as a rock but he is in no hurry at all, he can be remarkably patient, at least until things get really going. He climbs up Kell's flushed body, brusing is mouth over the soft skin as he goes, not even close to satisfied.

"Do you want to fuck me? Or be fucked? I'm good with either." He's also good with Kell just touching him if that's a preference, it's clear from how Jesper is that he will roll with anything. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to get a real fuck out of this though. "Don't worry, I brought something." It's Jesper. He carries lube in one of his jacket pockets literally all of the time.

Maybe asking Kell anything he wanted before was too broad. This is more direct.

Kell will, inevitably, overthink all this for days. That he was too fast, too rough, too selfish. It felt too good, so it must have been bad.
Later, when he sobers up, and there is no gorgeous body close to distract him.

Now, the blissful haze still pleasantly clouds his mind, makes such thoughts impossible. The only thoughts present, are idle musings on how hot Jesper is and how nice it would be to really know some appropriate healing magic, so he could just fuck him right now.

Then Jesper crawls up his body, his lips drawing fire up Kell's skin, and even those thoughts are gone. Kell catches his lips, the first moment he can reach them, pulling Jesper into a hungry kiss. That's sort of an answer, but he is a fast learner and noticed already that Jesper likes to hear what he'd like to do to him.

"I'd very much like to fuck you." There's a noticeable pause between this bold declaration and the second part of the sentence. "Just give me a moment."

Kell wraps his arms around Jesper's waist, sliding his hands to rest comfortably on his ass. A very shapely ass, perfect for fondling.

"I see you came prepared. How conscientious."

A distraction, that is what this comment is mostly. A redirection from the uncomfortable fact that against Jesper's deliciously hard cock, his own still needs at least a minute more to match. Kell's not one of those people who can fuck all night with no breaks or rest in between. As much as he'd like to be.

Jesper returns the heated kiss and laughs. "I didn't expect you to bounce back that fast, don't worry." He likes the grip on his ass and sits up a little better, reaching over to where he stashed the lube under his pillow. He has to be ready at all times. He knows what he's about. He decides to settle himself comfortably on Kell's lap, long legs straddling him now on either side.

"Here, love, open me up while you recover. That way you can slide right into me when you're ready." It definitely will make the time in-between be helpful and not the two of them simply waiting around. He never wastes time. Jesper is very casual at the moment, comfortable as he runs his hands down Kell's torso and gives him the bottle. He settles up on his knees so it will be easy for Kell to touch him. He wouldn't mind this going the obvious path of him riding Kell into oblivion, but Jesper also likes being fucked. He'll see what they feel like. For now he is full of playfulness and ease.

If and when he follows the instruction, Kell will find that Jesper is probably the easiest person to open he's ever had under his hands. He is very relaxed and the only tension he feels is the pressure from his cock for relief at some point. He enjoys sex so he naturally does whatever brings it to him quickest. He lets his eyes and hands wander over Kell's body. His fingers start playing with Kell's nipples again, a gentle rub between his thumb and forefinger.

"Look at you," he says, admiring. He wonders if Kell knows how beautiful he is. Gray eyes are very complimentary in the way they look at him alone. "I like to talk but you don't have to, Kell. Your sounds were more than enough."

Kell resists the urge to flip them over. A shiver of anticipation running down his spine when Jesper moves, reaching up for something outside of Kell's field of vision. Another when he - oh so casually - slips the bottle into Kell's hand. There's unhurried ease in Jesper's every movement. The way he slides his hand down Kell's chest, the way he settles on his knees right above Kell's hips, close but with enough lift that Kell can easily reach him.

Kell holds the bottle in his hand for a moment, to make its content nicely warmed up. His other hand caressing Jesper's ass, moving in a small circles closer and closer to its target. He moves his hand only to open the bottle, pour a generous amount of lube into his palm and thoroughly coat his fingers. The bottle dropped where it came from. It might yet be useful, and Kell wants to know where to look for it.
It's a delightful surprise to find almost no resistance when he slips the first finger in. Then the second. Kell takes his time, and no small amount of pleasure, working Jesper open. A thought flashes through Kell's mind, how well Jesper must take a cock, if it's so effortless to put fingers into him. The image shots heat into his veins and blood down his loins, making him harder with every push and pull of his fingers into Jesper's delightfully receptive ass.

So focused Kell is on this task, that a sudden pressure to his still sensitive nipple tears a moan from his lips. And a chuckle when he realizes that he couldn't have confirmed Jesper's word in a more eloquent way.
Lifts enough so he can reach Jesper's neck with his lips, to suck and lick the soft skin, as his fingers find that sweet spot inside Jesper. Kell breathes at the spot he abused, licks it once more before falling back on the sheets.

"I like it when you talk."

Just a little more before he can take him. Just a little more.

Jesper is far from passive as Kell already knows, sighing as Kell's fingers move inside of him, rising with him after the first few times so he can enjoy the thrust a little better. He stretches beautifully but it still feels amazing and he wants more of it. He can't touch himself because he is already excited enough and the shivers going down his spine are making it more necessary. He smirks at him, his eyes going more silver when filled with lust, knowing he makes a pretty picture when he's riding fingers like this. He wants to get Kell hot again so he has something much better inside of him.

Oh the moan spilling from his lips is perfect, beautiful, and his mouth goes dry, licking his lips. "Fuck, yes." Jesper moans when Kell pushes up and starts touching him, losing some of his calm when lips suck on his skin and he gasps. He tilts his head to give Kell all the access he wants to lick him, and he groans when his fingers hit him in the exact right way.

Jesper follows Kell down onto the sheets, slamming his hands on either side of his head, now thoroughly turned on all over again. He is still spread so he can push back against Kell's hand but he passionately steals a kiss from him. He sucks on his tongue, explores every crevice of his mouth, kisses him until he can't breath and still keeps it going until he's a few seconds from seeing spots. He comes out of it only to bite Kell's bottom lip and tug on it.

"Fuck me, Kell." If he wants to hear him, he can hear him say that in a rough tone. "Pound me into this fucking mattress." That's what he wants. That's what he needs.

Kell is already hard halfway through the kiss. But it's the words that get to him, the tone, the demand. This never fails to get to him. The feral lust is back in full force. Kell is thin and pale. He can make an impression of frail. It cannot be further from the truth. He was - is - his brother's shield. He's strong enough to lift a man even without magic. So Jesper barely ends making his demand when he finds himself on his back with Kell crushing him into the mattress. His fingers gone, but then strong hands lift Jesper's hips up to push a pillow under him, spread his legs, opening him wide for Kell to pillage.

"I am going to fuck you," Kell growls just as he thrusts into Jesper the first time, his fingers wrapping around the other man's cock. "I'm a going to fuck you so hard, that you will beg me to fuck you more. And then I will fuck you even harder." Each threat? promise? is followed by another thrust. It's obscene, completely filthy so say such words. To say them in such a tone. But it feels so good to say them that he can't, doesn't want to stop.

Jesper has had so many kinds of sex in his life and he loves them all, but there are some times when he really needs this. He is always the confident one, suave and sensual, but Saints he likes to get railed within an inch of his life. He moves with Kell without hesitation, scrambling to lift his hips up where Kell demands them, spreading his legs eagerly. He had a feeling he had this underneath his uncertainty, Jesper has a knack for seeing through the exterior. And he hungered for it from the first moment their eyes met.

"Yes!" Jesper groans as Kell slams into him with no slow build or hesitation, an instant rush of sensation just on the right side of painful. His very long legs try to wrap around Kell or at least hook into him, wanting nothing more than to encourage him to keep going. Every time he pushes into him, Jesper says yes again, in increasingly desperate tones. "Don't let me come. Fuck me until you want me to come." Too many strokes on his cock is going to make it happen too soon and as much as Jesper loves the pleasure, he likes the build up even more. This kind of pain is up his alley.

"Please, Kell, please I can take it harder, baby, I need it." He's never failed to beg when given the option, and he loves it when someone gives him a good reason.

Kell had no idea he had it in him. Such primal, animalistic ferocity. He'd most likely balk at anyone suggesting it to him. He might even feel a bit offended. He likes to think of himself as a careful and attentive lover. Likes to think he is not selfish, that he cares as much for his partner's pleasure as he does for his own. Quite often, much more for the other person than his own.

But Jesper's desperate cries and pleas, bring something entirely different in him. A part that likes control, likes causing pain - if only a little to spice up the pleasure. A part that feeds off the desperation of those pleas, only to deny them and make Jesper beg for more. A good thing then, he's too lost in the moment to fully comprehend, and be shocked by it, how much of a turn on all of that is for him.

"I have no intention of letting you come without my permission."

Kell's voice is a low murmur against Jesper's ear, thick and dark like molasses. He sucks the very tip of Jesper's earlobe, ending it with a small bite. Barely grazing it with his teeth. His fingers squeezing the base of Jesper's cock just a tiny bit tighter. If only to prove his point.

He doesn't slow down, not even for a heartbeat, with Jesper's legs wrapped around him the angle makes it all the easier to bury himself ever deeper. Kell has enough stamina in his well-trained body to keep it going at this frantic pace until Jesper has no strength left to even beg him to let him come. He hasn't decided yet if he wants to use it all. The image of Jesper, breathless and exhausted because he had fucked him so hard that he's unable to move, is very tempting.

Jesper has a skill for bringing out sides in people they don't expect. It is usually because he is very open and game for anything, allowing people to go with their instincts because they know it's safe. It doesn't surprise him that Kell is off the leash like this, just the same as he knows how much he lusts for it. They're in a fucked up situation, stuck on this ship, trapped as the negotiations go on, and this is a way to let go of all of it. They have a lot of steam to blow off. He craves being out of his mind here. The idea of him being so exhausted after a thorough fucking that he can only lie there is very appealing. He's had a bad few months.

"Fuck, you're hot." He says with a long moan after Kell speaks into his ear like that. Unbelievably hot. He picked the right person to pick up tonight. Jesper whimpers at the squeeze on his red and painfully hard cock, dragging his hands up over Kell's shoulders. He digs his nails in hard against his back, scratching as Kell keeps his rough thrusts going. His feet dangle past Kell's hips to touch his thighs and pulls, encouraging with all of him for his lover to keep going.

One of his hands moves from Kell's back to dive into his bright hair, digging into those strands instead as he drags him down for another heated kiss. It's almost feral as he rocks down into Kell, his body begging, body flushed, sweating. He has to gasp out of the kiss as he angles his body just right and Kell slams right into his prostate with sharp speed.

"Fuck, fuck, Kell, please, right there, shit I'm going to die, that's so good." Jesper really goes off the wire then, dropping his head back on the bed, his face slack with pleasure, arching up into him. His hand tugs on Kell's hair as he wriggles and whimpers. "Saints, I want you to come in me, please, Kell, harder, make me scream."

Jesper has already managed to quiet Kell's incessantly overactive mind with his talented mouth. Freed him from the usual negativity spiral it so easily falls into. So it's only right to return the favour. Especially when doing it feels so good. Each drag of Jesper's nail against his back leaves Kell's skin burning, itching, yearning for more. It has no right to feel this good. He has no right to enjoy this pain, light as it is, so much. Kell hates pain, does a lot to avoid it. And yet now each scratch of Jesper's nails shoots searing heat right into his already painfully hard cock.

The compliment burns through his nerves like a lightning strike. Kell never knows what to do with compliments. They tend to bring his brain to a screeching halt, half-wanting for them to be true, half-terrified they are not. And even if genuine, then not deserved.

So it's for the better he doesn't have a thought to spare now, his all focus firmly fixed on pounding Jesper into the mattress. And how good it feels to fuck him so hard. This is new territory and Kell finds himself utterly delighted in finding new ways to make Jesper squirm, moan and beg. It's unreal how much pleasure he draws from all the little twitches and noises his lover makes.

Then Jesper shifts and Kell immediately notices, from the way Jesper's whole body arches towards him, head falling back, the words rolling off his lips, that they have finally found their perfect alignment. Before he was only grazing the other man's prostate with his powerful thrusts, now he's hitting directly into it.

Instead of speeding up, Kell slows down, pulls out further, making his every movement more deliberate. He thrust into Jesper with the same unrelenting force, but now gives him space between each hit. A time to recover from the onslaught, if only a little bit. If only so it can build some anticipation for the next hit that inevitably comes after that too short a break. So he can fully experience the raw power of it, and so they won't all meld into one continuous sensation that Jesper could have too easily get used to.

Kell leans down, careful not to disturb their perfect position, to claim Jesper's mouth in a kiss so violent it risks leaving Jesper's lips swollen and bruised. Breaking only when he's sure he'd get him breathless and gasping for air.

"Do you now?" he purrs into Jesper's ear. "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. You have to be more convincing."

Kell drags his thumb in a small circle on the base of Jesper's cock, not changing his grip in the slightest. A cruel torment considering how far his lover is gone in his need for release.

"You might need to describe to me in more detail how you want me to spill into to you, to fill you up. Tell me how you want nothing more than be an eager vessel for my come. Beg for it, Jesper. And if you do it right, I may just fuck you so hard you'll pass out from the force of the orgasm I am going to give you."

He will still fuck him even if Jesper doesn't ask, but it's just too much fun not to threaten him. Not to dangle the possibility he just might leave him overheated and unsatisfied in front of him. They both know he won't do it. But it's still fun.

Any other time, Kell would have been completely frozen with terror at the mere thought that such a torrent of filth can come out of his mouth. Now, it's the only thing on his mind. It feels downright ecstatic to say all this and watch, feel, Jesper's reaction to it. To draw moans, pleas and screams from his perfect lips, overwhelm him with pleasure and don't stop until he's completely unravelled.

Jesper is never restrained in sex, he is loud and he doesn't care. He can be quiet when he needs to be, typically if he convinces someone to try public sex, but when there's no need, he lets it all loose. There is nothing better for his ears than groans and pleas, so he would never hold back the same from his lovers. If they're doing the work, they deserve the complementary sounds.

Jesper is really wound up as Kell hits him in a perfect way and his heart is pounding so hard in his chest he swears it is echoing in the room. He cries out when Kell slows down but thrusts more deliberately, the space in between each one making every cell in his body feel like it's on fire. The sensation is so intense that he is breathing raggedly and whimpering, clinging to Kell. Rarely does anyone give it to him this way and he is so desperate for it, for how he's practically lifting Jesper off the bed with every thrust since he's wrapped his limbs around him. He craves the lack of control.

He meets the kiss just as violently and wild, his nails digging into Kell's back hard enough to definitely leave marks now. The skin is flushed and he is only a little more pressure away from drawing blood. Jesper drops back when they both have to struggle to breathe and he arches up into Kell's mouth when he speaks to him again.

"Please, fuck." He shivers when Kell's finger touches his tip, he is deeply over-stimulated with no ability to actually come, at least not the way he wants to. It is clear how into this he is, so if it's new to Kell, he is doing an incredible job. His eyes are silver when they open and he stares up at him, looking deeply debauched.

Jesper loves to talk so giving him a focus is delightful. He grins up at him, his body screaming at him. It feels insanely good. "Fill me, use me, I'm only a hole for you to fuck, Kell. Please, I'm begging you, I want to feel you for days, I want to hold you in me until you can't move or think." He is tied so tightly around him it would be easy to pull him in as deep as possible and hold him there. It's all he wants. He sounds ragged and needy and happy most of all. Happy, delighted, turned on.

"Hold me down so I can't do anything but take it, please, darling, please, fuck me, let me come." Jesper wiggles on him and bites his own lip as he watches him. "I want you to fuck me again, I want you in me all night. I want to ache from you." One time is never enough for him.

Kell thought Jesper is very handsome the moment he saw him in the banquet hall. But that's a clear understatement. He considers many Summoned handsome. Many indeed are. You'd have to look far to find someone who is not good-looking.

But few are 'I want to know how his lips taste' kind of handsome like Jesper is. Dark skin, bright eyes. Beautiful. Totally Kell's type. No wonder he was so eager to be seduced by him.
Still, it is far from enough to faithfully depict how Jesper looks now, when Kell is fucking him so hard he half-worries he might break his beautiful lover in two. Jesper glows. There's no other way to describe it.

Kell has rarely seen anyone so obviously, shamelessly, enjoying not being pleasured and worshipped, but degraded, used and denied satisfaction. And he loves every single part of what he sees. Jesper's answers not only with word, but with his whole body. His every plea leaving Kell breathless, his mind blank, only desire raging through his veins like an unstoppable firestorm. His own response is a wordless more. He wants more of this gorgeous man writhing under him. He wants to fuck him into oblivion, break him and then build him back again.

Kell leans down for another kiss. Not vicious and brutal like before, but slow and delicate.

"That was very pretty," he murmurs against Jesper's lips. "I will grant you your wish, and since I am feeling extra generous, I will even let you come as I do it."

Kell does not wait for an answer, but lets himself finally flood Jesper with his release; a long moan ripping from his lips as he comes. The pleasure of it almost knocking him off. He loosens his grip on Jesper's cock, dragging his fingers up, stroking its whole length from the base to the head in long, sensuous motions, paying special attention to its most sensitive parts.

He wants Jesper to come while he's still shooting into him, filling him up. His own orgasm rocking his body in spasms. It's so unbearably hot that he wonders if he won't end getting hard again right after they finish. No matter how dizzy and overwhelmed it all makes him feel.
Craves to do exactly what Jesper's begged him for, to fuck him the whole night. Don't stop until they're both too exhausted to even lift a finger.

And then do it again.

Wylan described Jesper as 'exuding pleasure' in his first estimation of him, when he couldn't help but lust after him at first sight too. Someone completely confident and at home in himself, always seeking a good time, looking for pleasure, looking for fun and connection and adventure. He draws people to him, finds what they want, and gives it to them. Kell is no exception although like everyone else, he is giving back just as much. No one-sided mindblowing sex here, Jesper is very happy with the results of his seduction.

His body can take a whole lot of punishment, he is a very strong and healthy young man, used to pain and adrenaline, and he is very difficult to break. So Kell ripping through him only satiates a need, to feel something above and beyond the norm. Jesper already feels helpless at times in his situation, in Cadens, even here, where they had no choice. When he's choosing to be helpless and let someone completely command his body and orgasm, it's a relief. Relief is all he feels as Kell kisses him and then gives them both release.

"Thank you, Kell." Jesper murmurs it passively in that moment, letting him rile them both up and end it. He is grateful for permission and he wants him to know that, and know they are both enjoying this sexual power play in the same way. Jesper leaves scratch marks on Kell's back that will linger and sting, hopefully in an appealing way. They're not going to be the only ones he leaves by the end of this. Teeth will at some point play a part. For now he holds on as tightly as he can and then cries out loudly, all his tension going out of him in a single moment as he comes.

Kell filling him makes it even better although he covers them both in his, his eyes closed tightly as everything is bright white and then dark. Jesper remembers to breathe and he thinks he could have easily passed out from that, he's just awake enough to enjoy the feeling of both pleasure and pain rushing through his veins. He strokes his fingers gentler now through Kell's hair.

"Mmm, stay in me." He mumbles it, really blissed out, but he wants that clear at least. Jesper keeps his legs around him although they're looser, not quite the chokehold as before. He likes to keep his lovers in, he enjoys feeling them soften but stay stuffed.

Jesper finally opens his eyes to gaze up at his new lover and he smiles, leaning up to capture his lips in a lingering kiss, although it can't last as he's still getting his breath back. "You acting all shy and hesitant and then giving me that, damn, Kell." Jesper laughs.

It is a dastardly difficult task to have an existential crisis about your own sexual preferences when you're balls-deep in another man's ass. A gorgeous man, who has just very fondly asked you to stay there after you have fucked him black and blue, and made you both nearly pass out from the explosive orgasm of your making.

There are many things that can be said about Kell, but never that he lacks imagination or talent. He's fully capable of having an existential crisis while still reeling from the wave of pleasure that had washed over him, leaving him panting and exhausted. Exhausted in the most pleasant of ways.

Only completely blissed out of his mind, Kell is able to enjoy himself freely. Jesper asking him to stay in him makes him melt. He doesn't need much convincing, or rather none at all. It feels too good to be buried deep in him, feels grounding. A reminder that what they did really happened.

A reminder of what he, no, what they did. It is exactly that reminder that makes Kell's mind instantly go into overdrive from his sex-induced slumber. What, by the love of all saints, was he thinking? To be perfectly honest, he wasn't exactly thinking.
It's very difficult to hold to a belief that what he's done must be unforgivable if the person he did it to radiates only bliss and happiness and thanks you for it. Then asks you to please keep your cock in him.
Kell just cannot piece together that image, the feelings he himself has, with his own opinions on sex, pain, pleasure, coercion and violence.
He never thought there can be pleasure in pain. Both in giving and in receiving. But now? Whenever he moves, he can feel the sting of the long scratches that Jesper's nails left on his back exposed to the open air. It's a minuscule amount of displeasure, but he gets turned on even only thinking about them.

He falls into kiss eagerly, with a quiet desperation of someone who needs more ammunition against his own doubts. It's sweet and wonderful, and over too soon because they're both haven't fully recovered their breath yet, and then Jesper laughs. Kell resists the urge to look away, to apologize for all those things he did to him. Suddenly feeling ashamed of his actions. But Jesper thanked him, he told him he wanted it, he told him it was hot, begged him to do it. So there can be no doubt he enjoyed it. No matter how Kell's demons try to convince him otherwise.

"I..." he starts, breaks, then makes himself continue. "I don't know what got into me. I've never been like this with anyone else." But Jesper has unique a talent to bring to light his most hidden side. One that Kell never knew existed. Though he expected as much. There were signs. He just ignored them. "But you seemed to like it so I went with it."

He leans in to bury his face in the crook of Jesper's neck, lips to skin, feeling Jesper's pulse, still far from slowing down. He shifts, moving his hands down Jesper's body to to grab his ass.

"I most certainly loved it" Kell breathes into his lover's neck while he fondles his ass, pushing his now not entirely limp cock just a little deeper. "And I want more of it. Even if I understand nothing of it."

Jesper typically is fully aware of all his sexual interests and needs and when he does something he isn't used to or new to, it's exciting and interesting rather than concerning. He probably has some hard lines somewhere but he has yet to find them, he just gives himself the freedom to know when he wants to say a hard no and rolls with a yes for the rest of his life.

He's fascinated by the fact that Kell is still inside of him, his nail marks all over his back, as intimate as two people can get, and Kell's doing his shy thing again. Jesper's expression is curious as he listens to him try to explain and it clicks. He lets Kell bury his face and turns his head to nuzzle at his hair, smiling.

"Oh I see, I just gave you a sexual awakening, that's my favorite." Hey it is absolutely a high compliment! Jesper likes being so sexually adventurous and appealing that people just learn new things about themselves in the process of being with him. The problem is only if it draws something out they don't like, but that is clearly not the case here. He is genuinely delighted as he laughs but then gasps when Kell grips his ass and pushes a little deeper. He's oversensitive so it stings but he is not against it at all.

"Mmmm, well I can help explain, darling." Jesper wriggles under him on purpose to test out if he can take more, brushing his fingers in Kell's sweaty bright hair. "You're up in your head too much and you have a lot of internal struggles with your anxieties and insecurities, and what this basically does is ball up all of those things into the type of tension that you can fuck out of you with a partner who happens to like it rough and wild and enjoys taking all that you have to purge. It's pure sensation, no thought."

Jesper is a fun guy, but he's also very smart, mostly about people. He did get into a very prestigious academy and probably could have become anything he wanted, but that wasn't his way. Still, he lifts Kell's head so he has to look at him, cupping his face far more gently than the rest of their sex has been. "And I'm an arrogant and dominant person who sometimes likes to have that all stripped away and fucked out of me so I remember I'm also just a person who has needs that don't include being what someone else wants of me."

Jesper grins at him and kisses him, biting his lip sharply. "Sound reasonable to you?"

Kell would think it is rather embarrassing, and annoying, for someone to figure him out so fast and effortlessly. He doesn't. He's actually relieved. It feels good to hear this whole thing is fine. It's something exists, not him being weird again. That Jesper recognizes it, turns out to be quite knowledgeable about it, and seems to be quite fond of it. Kell prefers to have words for things. It makes them less confusing. So he can stop trying to dissect the living daylight out of them, and start actually enjoying.

Arrogant and dominant. Oh, he can totally see it. Even before Jesper kisses him, the sting of it bringing the heat right back. It is utterly thrilling to break someone like Jesper, to reduce him to a breathless, shivering mess, begging to be fucked until he passes out. It is even more thrilling to know Jesper wants Kell to break him. Not only thrilling, irresistible.

Kell licks the one drop of blood that forms on his lip after Jesper bites him. Saints, that's hot. The metallic taste of it makes him shiver. He kisses back, forcing his tongue into Jesper's mouth. No care, just lust and hunger. Breaks as fast as he started it. It wasn't meant to feel nice, just to show that Kell can take him whenever he likes it.

"Very reasonable," he agrees, a wicked smile dancing on his lips.

He pushes Jesper's legs, still wrapped around him, away, then pulls out. His all body screaming to stay there, to just fuck Jesper again. He'll be hard enough to do it soon. Still, he pulls out. It would have been too predictable, boring, and Kell hates boring in sex more than anything. He'd rather keep things uncertain. Make Jesper wonder. Is he going to fuck him, or is he just going to bring him to the very edge, and then leave there? He might. If only to watch Jesper squirm. And then he'd fuck him, but only when they both can't hold it back any more.

Kell lifts himself on his knees and elbows, so he's hovering over Jesper, leaving only a memory of touch, heat radiating off their bodies.

"And what exactly are those needs?"

He would love a good suggestion on what can he torment Jesper with. He has enough of his own ideas for torture - surprisingly many - but it's so much more enjoyable when it's a pain the other person wants.

Kell is not the first person he's had sex with in this way that was still learning about themselves and a little surprised by their need for power and aggression. That is why he has the words for it, and sometimes Jesper himself feels that exact way. He gets into moods where he wants to hold someone down and fuck them until they're only capable of screaming his name. He switches back and forth depending on who he is with, and it was easy to mirror Kell's sudden desires when he recognizes them so clearly.

His helpful explanation seems to go over well and he's genuinely glad that he could help clear it up for Kell. It can be a little intimidating to learn you desire something that ordinarily wouldn't occur to you, and then try to make sense of that in line with the rest of your personality. That is why sex in his mind is always supposed to be free. No need to feel shame, it is primal and physical and beautiful, even when it's ugly.

Kell's seemed to really settle now into it and Jesper's pleased to get such a hungry - if brief - kiss out of him, but he whines when Kell pulls out of him. Although his legs immediately move when Kell wants them to so he can, he would never force it, but he is going to prettily pout about it anyway. Jesper is being obedient too, since he could try to lean up into Kell's body to persuade him, he could try to drag him down, but he is being a good boy and letting Kell do as he wants.

He licks his own lips, stretching his long lanky body underneath Kell, kittenish and comfortable, being languid and appealing on purpose. Look at all his beautiful skin and tattoos and muscles, don't you want to touch it? But he smirks up.

"I need you to use me, pick what you enjoy the most, force me into that position, and just make me take it." Jesper lifts a hand to brush his thumb against the just bitten lip, plump and stinging. Since this is new to Kell, Jesper thinks it's best to set down some respectful ground rules. Communication is key.

"Restraining me is a hard yes, spanking is welcome, dirty talk is a favorite, you can be as rough as you like. My safe word is Fjerda, meaning if I say it I need you to stop. If you aren't sure at any point you can make it part of our play and ask if I want it that way." So he doesn't have to worry about pulling out of the sexiness, but still get confirmation when he needs it.

Power is a strange thing. Kell's life situation has been complicated enough that he both had it and hadn't. Had almost infinite power of an Antari to do with his magic whatever he wanted. Had no say about the way his life went, all decisions already made for him by people who had use for him, but not enough interest in what he thinks about all this. He was allowed opinions on things of little importance, but barred from having ones on anything that mattered. No wonder it left him confused about his own wants and needs. No wonder aggression feels only justified in very few, very specific situations. And it feels deeply wrong whenever he wants to use force for pleasure.

So it feels all the more revelatory when Jesper so calmly presents him with a completely different perspective. One that's bound only by their mutual agreement of what's acceptable and what's not. With no judgement, no condemnation of the less than savoury urges, as long as they are enthusiastically accepted by the other party. And clearly they are. It's obvious from the way Jesper whines and pouts when Kell pulls out of him, stretching underneath with clear intent to goad him right back in. So effective, he almost falls for it.

"So desperate you are for my cock" he growls.

I need you to use me, those few words leave Kell breathless, so overrun with desire that he almost falters and fucks him on the spot. It's Jesper's thumb brushing his bloody lip that lets Kell focus and refrain from ravaging him right away. It would have been such a waste. There's so much more fun to have later if he's able to hold back now.

That Jesper frames what they are doing as play suddenly causes everything to make sense. It's not that Kell is a callous person that likes making other people suffer. It's a game they play because they both like it. He can pretend to be filthy, cruel and demeaning, only because Jesper enjoys when he does it to him. It says nothing about Kell's character. It's ... freeing.

And each thing Jesper lists sends lightning shooting right into Kell's groin, leaving him fully hard by the time the other man ends speaking. He wants Jesper bound, completely at his mercy, so he can tease him, savour and feast on his body, bring him to the very edge of orgasm and only give it to him when he's an incoherent mess begging Kell to just fuck him already. And he would, he would fuck him so hard he'd have Jesper screaming his name in both orgasm and anguish. So good, it's down right painful.

With that perspective, maybe then it's not such an odd thing that Kell can completely see their roles reversed. He realizes that there can be a time when he'd like to be the one getting tied to a bed, driven crazy and fucked senseless by Jesper. Not now. Definitely not now, but it remains an enticing possibility.

Speaking of possibilities...

"How about magic?" Kell asks, his tone entirely serious.

His magic is as inseparable part of him as his fingers or mouth is. As much part of his body as his cock is. Kell had to tone down his casual magic use once he realized he's making not a small number of people uncomfortable by making it look as if it took him no effort at all. As if it was nothing. Truth is, to him, small things are really no effort. They need no recitation of spells, not even much conscious thought in most cases. They're as natural to him as breathing. Kell would like nothing more than be free with it, but mixing sex and magic requires the level of trust that must be overtly stated. That's why he needs to ask. That's why he'd fully accept a no... even he'd love to hear a yes. And he will at least attempt to be convincing. To maybe build up to why letting him use magic is a good idea. Jesper already trusts him with his body, already submitting to whatever wicked whims - within reason - Kell can come up with. He stated it very clearly. So maybe magic is not out of question...

"I would very much enjoy tying you up, and I'm sure we can get creative with what's already in this room, but it would be a lot less cumbersome if I could just do this."

With this warning, a long stretch of fabric slithers up Jesper's inner thigh, then down the back of his knee, to finally wrap around his ankle and hold it firmly in place.

"And there are other things I can do to you with it too."

Kell shifts his weight to his left arm, freeing his right just in time to spit out on his hand a smooth ice ball he's just made. Its size perfectly matching the girth of his cock. Watches Jesper's reaction intently as he rolls the freezing-cold thing down his throat, slides it between his collarbones, down his chest to tease a nipple with it until it hardens. Then lower still to his stomach and abdomen, raising goosebumps on his perfect skin.
He drags the piece of ice all the way down Jesper's shaft, rubs it against his balls, teases it against the tight ring of muscles of his entrance. Jesper is already comfortably stretched from their last round, so the ice ball easily slips in halfway. Kell pulls it out, then pushes it in a few more times. Each one a tad deeper than the previous. As if he wasn't just fucking Jesper with an ice ball, but merely testing if it will fit. At last, he drops to devour Jesper's lips in a kiss that's bound to leave them both bruised and breathless, and shoves the ice ball deep inside him, pulling his fingers out as soon as he has the thing in place, resting securely against Jesper's prostate. It's already obscene enough that he made the ice ball entirely out of his own saliva, but it's even more that he also made it saltier than it would have normally been. So it will sting a little while it finally melts. Not much. Just enough for Jesper to notice it's there, even as it slowly disappears.

"Would something like that be acceptable?"

Edited (someone please stop me from fiddling with it, i like this tag too much...) 2023-02-05 17:01 (UTC)

Jesper is glad that the 'play' part really seemed to click well in Kell's head, and he is clearly relaxing, settling into this new situation with less fear and hesitance. He doesn't mind coaxing people into this place if they want it, but it is definitely more fun when both of them are fully on the same page. He can see the change come over Kell too, see when he realizes that this can be fun and he doesn't have to question or doubt himself. He already thought Kell was sexy and gorgeous, but seeing him relax into his wants and get excited about the possibilities is deeply arousing.

By the time his list of yeses gets Kell hard, Jesper himself is already back too. They're both young, it's not difficult, but they're also excited about being in this situation of equals exploring together. "I am desperate for your cock, Kell." Jesper leans his head up and slowly licks Kell's lips. "I'm not good enough to get it yet, but you can make me suffer until I am, baby." See, it's all a fun game. The gleam in Kell's eye is mirrored in his own.

The question about magic only has his eyebrow raise. Jesper's used his own abilities during sex before, most of the time just to strip people of their clothes easier. Jesper is very relaxed, clearly trusting despite the fact they've only shared this, but he's a good judge of character. He's also never concerned for his safety, he can take care of himself.

Besides, he likes being restrained by someone else, so Kell just going for it is appealing. He purposely wriggles against the leg restraints for fun. "I don't mind at all," he purrs, proving so by using his own abilities seconds later. Jesper grips the sheet and magically it shimmers into what looks like liquid, crawling up his skin and wrapping around his wrists like vines. A moment later it snaps back into the same fabric but now it's tied his wrists to the bed, attached fully now like it has always been there. See, he's completely fine with it, Kell. He's even being helpful to expedite it.

Jesper hasn't had sex with a whole lot of magical people yet, but he's already deeply intrigued by what Kell is promising him. He is hard, gray eyes back to their bright silver in the middle of lust, watching him. He watches Kell make the ice ball and licks his own lips in anticipation of how it will feel on his skin, moments later the cold touch of it making him moan. He wriggles for real underneath the double restraints and arches his back up when it touches his nipple and goes lower.

"Fuck, yes," he murmurs as Kell brings it all the way down. This is absolutely a new experience, and those are always desperately exciting. He's never been with someone who could do this. Ice cubes may have happened, but a ball of ice thrust inside of him, completely unique. Jesper's eyes shut in pleasure as Kell starts to fuck him with it, his inner heat melting it piece by piece, but it's so good. By the time it touches his prostate he's more than wriggling, he's writhing, bucking up into Kell.

By the time he kisses him Jesper is starving again. "Put me on my hands and knees like a dog." The restraints he made are easy to unravel and redo, unless Kell just wants to hold him down. "Please, if you like it, my body is yours."

It requires tremendous effort not to give into Jesper breathless pleas, and not give him what he wants. What they both want. Watching Jesper writhe and moan while he fucks him with the ice ball gives Kell all sorts of ideas. Way too many for just one night. Now he just desperately wants to put his throbbing cock inside him. Just have his satisfaction now. But it won't be cruel enough, and cruel is what Jesper wants from him, so that's what Kell is going to give him. It's liberating, and hot, to know they both take pleasure from this torture. Still, it requires all of Kell's self-control to resist the pull of the gorgeous body writhing under him.

Kell rolls to the side with a grunt. He's barely holding up. Even watching Jesper lie, hands bound over his head, is painful. He's so beautiful, but Kell knows he can make him even more beautiful. He licks his finger then drags a wet trail down the inside of Jesper's arm, feeling the goosebumps raise up on the delicate skin heat up under his touch.

"Aren't you a sweet little plaything" he coos, circling the wet finger around Jesper's erect nipple. Saints, how much he wants to devour him when he's helpless like that.

"But you're right. Getting my cock is a privilege you must earn each time. So is being on the bed."

Kell releases the strip of fabric binding Jesper's ankle to the bed, gives his thigh a firm slap.

"On the floor," he commands. "Crawl. On your hand and knees. You don't deserve to be on the bed just yet."

As soon as Jesper obeys, Kell moves to the edge himself. He looks down, and shivers with want at the sight. Just one more thing to make the image perfect. He reaches behind him for a pillow, throws it down on the floor, then shoves Jesper's head down on it with his foot. The pressure of the push gentle but unrelenting. Kell is careful. He knows a thing or two about bodies, and only ever wants Jesper to hurt in ways he intended for him to, never by accident.

"Now you're perfect"

He keeps his foot down for a while, revelling in the feeling of complete control. It's unlike any pleasure he's ever felt. But it makes him even more aroused, and soon there's nothing on his mind but blinding lust. He takes his foot away, slides off the bed and kneels behind Jesper gripping his hips to keep him in place as he fucks him, rough and hard, until they both come.

When they do, Kell collapses on top of him with a loud cry. He doesn't pull out even when the last throngs of orgasm pass, and he's just lulled into bliss. He mouths a series of kisses on the back of Jesper's neck, delaying the inevitable moment when he'll need to move. He doesn't want to. It feels too good to stay. Even all limp and spent as he is now.

"You're such a pretty thing" he whispers into Jesper's ear. "I think I will fuck you all night."

Edited 2023-02-11 07:35 (UTC)

It has been awhile since someone really dominated him this way, and it is a deep relief. Especially considering his last few weeks, and the stress of feeling trapped on this ship. It's completely clearing his mind too, giving him nothing to think about but Kell and his body and what he's doing to it. He is grateful for this. His eyes widen when Kell tells him to get on the floor and his mouth goes dry. He grins at Kell, impressed. Not bad for a beginner at all.

"Yes, tell me how to be good." He undoes his own restraints and immediately goes onto the floor. He follows instructions well and eagerly, on his hands and knees as requested. He spreads his legs in a very blatant attempt at attention. When Kell pushes his head down he goes without question and groans loudly, the gesture of it as sexual as if he actually touched Jesper. He holds still, whining, and purposely lifts his ass, presenting it to Kell as his to take.

"Please, Kell, please, fuck me, enjoy me." He sounds so pathetic as he waits submissively under Kell's foot. It's all on purpose. He's smiling, deeply satisfied even before Kell pushes inside of him. Then Jesper is all moans and cries, the roughness of it exactly what he needs. He is passive despite liking to push back, instead letting Kell completely take control and do what he wants. He only barely gets a hand on himself, face pressed down too, so they can come together.

In the aftermath of the orgasm he is very pleased that Kell stays in him, that is what he asked the first time. He even cruelly tightens around him despite them both being sensitive. Jesper is gasping in breath, his body aching and in the type of pain he lives for. He turns his head toward Kell's mouth and steals a kiss from him. It's a little sweeter than before. They're both covered in sweat.

"You are very, very good at this for a first-timer, sweetheart." Understatement. He wouldn't have known. Jesper sighs and lies down, requiring Kell to move out of him in the process, but only so he can turn around and face him. He leans up to kiss him deeply. "Let me ride you next round." Jesper kisses his face. "Since you think I'm so pretty." He smirks and runs his fingers sharply down Kell's sweaty chest. "How many times do you think you can go? Should we set a record?" He laughs wickedly.

The sounds of Jesper's whining and begging, his not-so-futile attempts to entice Kell to fuck him sooner, it all drips the thick, deep-seated pleasure, that gathers like honey at the base of Kell's spine. It's the type of pleasure that doesn't go away with the flood of orgasm. It's the type that once it's over makes bearable being all sticky and sweaty. Usually, Kell hates being sweaty. It's gross and uncomfortable. Now, it's another mark of what they just did. A very welcomed mark. As welcome as the kiss is. Sweet, almost like a thank you. It makes Kell smile.

He doesn't stop Jesper from moving away, pulling out of him with ease. While it feels good to stay in, it is a relief to pull out too. The cool air helps with overwhelm and overstimulation. It helps him think more clearly.

Kell welcomes both the compliment and the second kiss, this one deeper, with a lot more edge than the previous one. Clear sign they're both far from finished. How many more times he can go? No idea, but he loves a good challenge. So the answer is as many as they're able before dropping out of exhaustion. It would be reasonable to stop earlier, but Kell is not here to be reasonable.

"I just do what feels right."

He has good instinct, he just needs to let himself act on it. Like right now, when he holds Jesper up after they break from their second kiss, forcing him to strain his already overworked muscles. He licks Jesper's lips then moves to follow the line of his jaw not with kisses but with small bites, barely catching the skin between his teeth, before ending on Jesper's neck and making this last one actually painful. Only then he releases him.

"An excellent idea," Kell admits, looking at Jesper's reddening skin and a clear bite mark on his neck. Now, that's beautiful. "You are pretty, but not pretty enough so I will let be lazy and just lie down as I do all the work to fuck you up."

He grabs Jesper's hand and keeps it up on his chest. The touch of those long, slender fingers is intoxicating, but he'd rather preferred them lower. Much lower.

"So I will let you ride me, and I will even let you do it on the bed."

Kell might make Jesper lie on a cold, hard floor - because he deserves this - but he's not going to accept this kind of discomfort for himself.

"The only problem I see is that I'm not particularly excited right now. So first, you'd need to take care of that."

There's a tiny voice at the back of his head, that abhors all the things he does and says, but Kell tries his best to ignore it. Jesper's reactions, his very words, are all evidence Kell needs to believe he's doing everything right. And the more he does it, the more ideas he has. The more courage to push for more intense sensations, more callous words. He might have just said he's not excited, but it's a lie. The worse he treats Jesper, the more his whole body vibrates with anticipation and want. The more Jesper begs and moans, the more Kell wants to mistreat him. Both of those things feeding off each other, making him dizzy with pleasure, even when he's not touching the other man.

Kell leaves Jesper on the floor, climbs on the bed to lie down on his back, his arms folded under his head. He waits for Jesper to join him.

"One more rule," he declares with a vicious smile. "Hands behind your back. You're not allowed to use them. I will tie them there now, so you're not tempted to cheat."

They're both utterly filthy, both in temperament and physically. Sweat, come, and blood is on them. The scratch marks he left on Kell are red and there are a few spots of blood, along with from they bit their lips. Jesper doesn't care in the least, he has no problem with being dirty, literally or functionally. He would probably lick every inch of Kell exactly like this or worse. He probably will do exactly that. Jesper didn't realize how much he needed this out of his system.

He tilts his head back to Kell has all of his neck to bite and he moans at the one that bruises. Not even a little against it. Jesper will wear the mark proudly. It's fair considering his mails were all over Kell their first round. He pouts prettily again when Kell keeps his hands from moving down, but he understands it's just a pause so they can move. While he enjoyed being fucked like an animal on the floor, in this game of theirs, Kell gets the bed. It's how it should be.

Jesper gets to his feet and winces from the ache but then smiles contently. He looks forward to adjusting to the pain of walking around after being penetrated so many times. Delightful. He crawls on top of Kell and straddles his lap, purposely putting his nice used ass right in front of Kell's cock. He obediently puts his hands behind his back so Kell can tie them, even if he could do it himself, but it's more fun if Kell does.

He already probably does make quite a sight with the bite mark, his sweaty muscular chest and lean limbs, touched in his own come from being on the floor. Jesper is the very picture of sexed up, his body loose and pleasured, smiling down at his lover. Jesper was being very clever with his positioning because after Kell ties him up, it is very easy for him to stay restrained and yet reach behind him to Kell's soft (but not for long) cock.

He doesn't have to look back to know exactly what he's doing, stroking the shaft, playing with the head, and waits until Kell starts to harden before he purposely puts his cock between his ass checks. Not inside of him, between them so Jesper can start riding slowly right away, the friction of Kell clasped between them a stroke all on its own. He looks right at Kell as he does, his gaze intense, biting his lip. He knows how to put on a show and he isn't even inside of him yet. But he will be.

Jesper moves so that it would be very easy for Kell to move into him, all he'd have to do is sit down, but he only allows the tip in. He pulls up as soon as Kell tries to push in, teasing him, taunting him. Being in this position gives him a little rein to be playful. "I like feeling you like this, hot and hard, and all mine. I already miss you being in me. Do you miss it, baby?" He rocks back against Kell's cock, giving it friction, sighing, his own hard and eager in front of him.

"I want you to watch me please you. All you have to do is make me." Jesper lifts his hips again to torment Kell's hardness but this time it would be easy for Kell to pull him down.

Kell had told Jesper that he's pretty. It's a lie. A blatant, unforgivable lie. He's not pretty, he's devastatingly beautiful. When Jesper climbs him, presenting himself for Kell's viewing pleasure in all of his naked glory, all Kell can do is stare. The view is breathtaking. He knows only one man this beautiful. Turns out, he does have a type.

He's already half-sitting, so it's only a question of leaning forward, to reach around Jesper's body to tie his hands behind his back. Kell takes his time, both because it feels good and because he wants to make it right. He could have easily restrained Jesper with magic. The way they both did the first time. But it feels more personal to do it by hand. Even if the improvised binding is pulled from the sheets by magic, the act of tying is ... an unexpected pleasure.

Like many things that have surprised him this night, Kell would never suspect to enjoy it. If asked, he'd never consider tying a person anything close to sexy. Yet here he is, lovingly wrapping a wide piece of fabric around Jesper's hands and wrists. A loop around his thumb, across the palm, then round the wrist, so that the pressure will be uniform across the whole length of it. Not too loose, so it won't slip, but not too tight, so it won't put too much pressure on the delicate nerves and blood vessels right under the skin of Jesper's wrists. Kell smiles. His teacher would have been quite surprised what Kell is using his hard-earned knowledge of anatomy for. Or he might have not. There were few things that could have surprised Tieren about human nature.

Kell leans back so he can witness the effect of his work in its full splendour. Jesper is effortlessly sexy quite on his own. Still, with a darkening bite mark on his neck, covered in signs of their previous rounds, bound hands behind his back, he's irresistible. The view alone makes Kell's limp cock twitch.

It's a surprise, a very pleasant one, that even tied, by clever wiggling himself into the right spot, Jesper is still able to reach it. Few expert strokes, and Kell is hard again. It seems they truly are going for the record. The source of friction changes, and it's Jesper's firm ass grinding against his quickly stiffening erection. They way he plays with it is maddening, letting just the very tip in, before rising his ass up when Kell jerks his hips to push more of his cock inside him. Maddening, but Kell would let him. He loves the lewd teasing, the mewling, cocky declaration of how all Kell needs to do is to make Jesper take him.

He would, but there's one thing on his mind that Kell knows is bound make it even better for both of them. Kell likes Jesper being all lewd, and clever, and cocky, but he likes to force him to obey almost as much. And now he has the best excuse to do it.
So he doesn't pull Jesper's hips down the moment he sets his hands on them. No, Kell lets Jesper linger half-way up, just the tip of his cock buried inside of him. His gaze fixed on Jesper is glazed with lust, but burning with determination... and a bit of performative disappointment.

"What did I tell you about using your hands?" Kell asks, the grip on Jesper's hips tightening for a moment, before he releases it.

"While I appreciate you being creative, I do not appreciate disobedience. You disregarded my direct command. Therefore, you need to be punished."

Kell lifts one hand up, fingers curled into a fist, so that Jesper can see it well. When he opens it, he's one silver coin poorer, but there it is, on top of his palm a silver ring. Kell slips it on Jesper's cock, and it fits perfectly, snug, not too tight, just constricting enough. He smiles, wrapping his fingers around Jesper's cock, a slow, torturous caress upward, a brush of his thumb over the tip of it; leans forward to crush Jesper's lips in a deep, hungry kiss, as he continues to pump his cock. Kell breaks their kiss only when his own lungs are burning. Only then he stops his torment, pulls Jesper's hips down to impale him fully. Kell lets out a moan. It feels so good to be in, feels even better to force it.

"You're not allowed to come until you've sufficiently made it up to me for your disobedience. Now ride me like you promised. You have yet to impress me."

The ring is not even his original idea either. He must have seen this type of jewellery a dozen times. Kell already noticed that when it comes to sex, his home country is a lot more permissive than Thorne. So a lot of him being good at what they're doing might actually come from having seen it before, just not realizing what it was at that time. Even less that he'd like to try it. Still, those are the experiences he can draw on. Even if he's not entirely aware of those memories, they are still a source of inspiration for what to say or do.

"Put on a good show, and I might yet change my mind. I'm not against being persuaded this was an honest mistake. I want to see how much you want to come from my cock. But you'd need to show me, words alone won't be enough this time."

Edited 2023-02-15 23:37 (UTC)

Kell is also devastatingly beautiful, and Jesper knows he has a type. Redheads with pure pale skin, where you can see all of it redden and flush in an instant, are right at the top of the list. It didn't start with Wylan, if anything he simply fit in the box of Jesper's attraction, and so it's not about fucking someone who reminds him of his ex. Kell is an entity all to himself, sexual and kinky, and a revelation. He likes his mismatched eyes on him, the appreciation he sees in them. He knows his teasing is working wonders and the nice snug way Kell puts the restraints on him is appreciated.

He could get them off in a second, that's part of the attraction. He keeps them on because he likes being tied up, he wants Kell to dominate him and control him. And he is absolutely breaking his command to not use his hands. Jesper is being bad on purpose and Kell can see for a few seconds the mischief in his gaze. That is part of what he told him, after all. He has to be forced to be good and punished. That mischief is replaced with actual dismay when the cock ring goes on him, but not in the bad sense, in the 'oh you just upped the ante and I didn't expect it' sense. Jesper wants to laugh, he nearly does, thinking you bastard, but instead he looks very apologetic and sad. The game, after all.

He gasps suddenly once it's on and then Kell is stroking him and Jesper moans, pushing up into his touch knowing all too well he's not going to get anywhere. He is going to be hard to the point of insanity and then Kell is going to deny him orgasm. Perfect. Even if his body is crying out for relief already. Jesper is not new to the toy, he's only a little surprised Kell knows how to use one. He's really going to have to ask the man later about his history, it's such an interesting amalgam of shyness and dirtiness.

"Please, I just wanted your cock so much, I'm sorry. I'll be good now, I promise." Jesper gasps out as his pleasure rises and then is unable to do anything more, and then Kell sheaths himself inside again. It stings more this time and that only makes Jesper pulse inside the ring. That wave of pain-pleasure hits him just right and his expression is pure bliss for a second. He looks right then like he's never experienced anything better than Kell inside of him, despite having had it several times now.

"Yes," he murmurs dreamily, looking down at Kell. "I only exist to please you. Let me show you." Jesper seats himself comfortably on top of him and wiggles, moaning as Kell brushes all against his inner walls, so deep like this when fully inside. Jesper starts slow because Kell wants a show, he rises up off him and then slides back down but he rocks back and forth on top of his cock the entire way, feeling it all the way. He squeezes around Kell every time on the way down so he gets tighter by the bottom.

"Mmm, I'm not going to be able to walk straight." Jesper starts moving faster now, rising and falling at a medium pace, his expression still that blissful mix of desire and agony. "My body is going to ache for you, to be filled by you." He's flushed and seems so decadent in how eagerly he moves now, fast and excited, his own cock unable to feel anything but agony now that he's driving hungrily on Kell. His head tips back and he groans, bouncing on top of Kell, his arms bulging like he wants to get free but can't.

"Punish me, baby, spank me, leave a handprint on me, then maybe I'll be good enough for you, I'll never disobey you again." Lies. He will always disobey if it gets him here.

If they have planned this before, Kell would have tied Jesper with a silk thread. Red, smooth, thin but strong. No, a silver one. Silver would look better against his skin. A thread so thin, you'd fear to breathe too loud lest it breaks. But it wouldn't. Silk is surprisingly strong for a thread this thin. It wouldn't have been perfect for them. For their arrangement. If they planned it before.

They didn't, and it's the part of appeal. Kell catches the mischievous glance in Jesper's eyes, and raises his heartbeat in an instant. Adding Jesper to his - very short - list of lovers makes it evident that Kell has a thing for rule-breakers. With Jesper, it's even better, because the rules being broken are his own, and it's his right to administer punishment. He hopes - dares to hope - that Jesper will give him many occasions to punish him. The very thought of it wakes up something in him. Something vile, ruthless, and awfully, obscenely lewd.

Kell's hands don't leave Jesper's cock for a longer while; teasing, tormenting. Once slow then fast. Playing with his agony. He looks so beautiful, rocking his hips up and down, swaying them back and forth, to take more of Kell in. It's obvious that Kell's cock, buried so deep inside him, does all sorts for wonderful things to him. The sight of him so completely debauched, does all sorts of wonderful things to Kell in turn. Jesper is right, he is not going to be able to walk straight. Not after what's Kell has done to him. Not after what he still plans to do to him. Kell flashes his teeth in a smile.

"Isn't that the point? You want me to destroy you. You want me to ruin you, to leave you in a puddle on the floor, all filthy and spent, writhing like an animal in heat, and you will still beg me to give you more."

For a long, excruciatingly long, moment, all he can do is stare. Jesper's long neck arched back, bobbing up and down, as he bounces on Kell's cock. His shoulders drawn backwards, arms straining against the ties, skin all flushed and glowing. Kell runs his hand all the way up Jesper's body. From his twitching cock, up his belly, chest, circling his hard nipples, higher still to his neck. He grips Jesper's jaw with force enough to bruise, if only he had squeezed more. He sits, dragging Jesper forward to meet him. His other hand falling hard, a slap loud like a thunder, on Jesper's ass just when his own cock is fully sheathed in his lover's body. Kell leans in, lips - and teeth - brush against Jesper's ear.

"You can be sure I will do it. I will ruin you. Your sweet soft lips, your little tight ass, your eager cock. I will ruin you so thoroughly, so completely, that the only thing you'll be able to do is lie, and moan, and take it. No smart retorts, no clever tricks. You won't have strength left for words when I'm finished with you. So you'd better not disobey me again."

It's a threat, and a promise, punctuated with another slap to Jesper's ass. Kell shivers on contact. He can feel the heat after each strike, even if he cannot see Jesper's perfect skin darkening. He wants, no, he needs, Jesper to give him more reasons to hit him like that. All of his bouncing on Kell's cock hasn't brought Kell so close to orgasm as those two strikes did.

Jesper is always willing to let his lovers ask for anything from him. Kell wanting more of this is obviously going to go over well. He wouldn't mind fucking him another time, he's as good at giving as he is at taking, but for tonight this is what they both truly needed. It fed them during a time of great stress and he's very grateful. He can't worry about anything involving what is going on outside of the room. Only the two of them.

"You know exactly what I want, Kell." Destroyed, ruined, in a wonderful agony. It's definitely an extra thrill that this is all new to Kell. He's experiencing this kinkiness only because of Jesper and he finds that very sexy, bringing something dark and beautiful out in another person. And giving him the safety to follow his urges without judgment. "You're so good to me, I don't deserve it. I want to deserve it." That's what the punishment is for, so he gets what is coming for him but then gets forgiven.

The rough grab at his jaw has him moaning, pure lust flooding him, silver eyes gone dark from arousal. He goes forward with the pull and cries out loud at the first slap across his skin. Jesper's face screws up with the sheer force of it in the best possible way, that sting followed by the look of bliss. "Yes," he whimpers deep in his throat. "Yes, please, Saints, please." He already said how much he likes this and it's obvious in how he wiggles excitedly, how he breathes unsteadily and his cock is headed toward an ugly color in how hard he is.

He eagerly shoves himself back onto Kell's cock, leaning over him by the grip on his jaw, desperately seeking the feel of him filled over and over again. Jesper shivers all over, trembling. "Spank me until you come, keep going, make my ass raw and then fill it, I'm begging you." He is so intensely feeling at the moment, pain and pleasure and feeling light-headed from blood flow. It's fantastic. "Spank me until you forgive me and then let me come too, please, I just want to be yours."

He is going to come from this. Not from the heat of Jesper's sweet ass, closing eagerly around his cock, as Kell thrusts deeper. No, it's the new sensation that truly gets to him this time. How many new things they did this evening already? Nothing felt this way. Kell is in a trance, all of his senses heightened, but narrowed to the object of his focus. And all of his focus is on Jesper. Each tremble, each little, desperate exhale when he begs Kell to hit him again, each spasm of muscle.

And he does. He lets go of Jesper's jaw, so he can grip his ass with both hands. Pinches his ass cheek hard, then hits the other one. There's no regularity to his blows. Nothing that could help Jesper get used to it or predict one is coming. Yet every single of them is measured and deliberate. Kell's own breathing gets fast and shallow, but he can feel everything with such crystal clarity, it seems time itself have slowed down. The electrifying tingling of expectation when he takes a swing. The crack of a slap, when his hand makes contact with Jesper's skin. The heat radiating from the point of contact, burning under his fingers. Every single one burns a trail of pleasure through his body straight to his cock. Makes his hips jerk upwards to bury him deeper into Jesper. So he can feel it more. At sixth, Kell is panting, heated groans spilling from his lips. Eighth finally sends him over the edge with a long, cry of pleasure, shooting hot into Jesper.

Still shaking from the last waves of orgasm, Kell finds himself already fantasizing what else he could do to this beauty. His mind flooded with images of objects he had seen before but pretty much ignored at the time. Smooth wooden paddles, soft suede floggers. So this is what people were using them for. No wonder they were crafted with such care.

"You've been such a treat, pretty thing," Kell growls into Jesper's ear. "You've taken my beating beautifully. I think I can forgive you now."

His hands caress Jesper's ass, slide up to his waist, down past his hips to grip at his thighs, pinching the delicate skin. Kell moves one hand to Jesper's cock, fingers curling tight around it. Takes his time with it, groping, playing with it, slowly dragging his fingers up and down the whole shaft. When he had his fill of the torment, he reaches for the cock ring and slips it off in one, fluid motion.

"Come for me, I allow it" he commands.

Kell says the words, but he doesn't plan to leave Jesper all to himself now. This would have been unnecessary cruelty, and not of the fun kind. He is going to make it so good for him, work him up all the way to orgasm and past. Jesper gave him one unbelievably good, he deserves a similar one for himself.

All of his senses and nerves are on fire, frayed and ready to unravel, and that is what makes this so good. He feels his body tense and yet no relief comes, lasting, lingering. Jesper's mouth drops open as both of Kell's hands grip his ass and he whimpers and moans and gasps out in pain at the pinches and slaps. It is utterly humiliating how desperate he is for it, how he jerks forward against Kell's body with every smack. His flesh makes a very satisfying sound each time and he is beyond words.

He becomes nothing more than a mess, his expression agonized need, his body pushing back into Kell's cock as if he can only try to get him deeper somehow. Like it could never be deep enough. Jesper's skin burns and so do his eyes and it is glorious. He groans loudly when Kell finally comes into him, a spurt of warmth and relief, and Jesper rides on top of him harder to try and string out as much of Kell's pleasure as possible.

"Thank you." Jesper can only be relieved at the idea of getting his own relief. Denial is fun but only because it hopefully leads to a release. He sounds so grateful too, like Kell has given him the moon. "Thank you for blessing me." With all of it, but now Kell's turning the corner into focusing only on his pleasure. Jesper lets himself lean into it instead of pushing it away, the pain morphing into something beautiful and long-lasting.

He no longer rides since he prefers Kell stuffed inside of him like this as his orgasm builds. Jesper's sweaty and covered in them and yet he seems to glow the closer he gets to the edge. His head tips back and he cries out, pushing into Kell's hand until he whites out and yet another orgasm kicks him straight in the teeth. Jesper barely stays conscious and falls down onto Kell's chest, breathing raggedly.

"Saints, I've never been this surprised by someone." Jesper laughs and presses his forehead to Kell's sternum. "I am going to need longer than ten minutes for the next one." He smiles as he lifts his head, gray eyes hazy and warm. "Probably only fifteen."

Kell feels all sorts of things at the end. Most of them he cannot even name. Some of them scary, but most of them wonderful. All blur into cold exhaustion that starts setting in, then Jesper's laughter breaks it warming him right up.

"Then there's two of us. I've surprised myself."

He lifts Jesper gently, he no more pulls out as simply lets his limp cock slip out. Both of them freed, they can lie down to rest. Jesper's suggestion that they do even more stirs hunger inside of him, but its flame doesn't win with exhaustion just yet. He needs rest to let the flame grow.

"I'm afraid I might need a tad longer than fifteen."

He pats down the tangled sheets until he finds it. The silver coin turned cock ring, fishes it out from the fabric, turning it in his fingers. With a bit of magic, and a sly smile, he etches thin, spidery letters inside the silver band - property of k.m. - making sure it stays as smooth as it was regardless of the addition.

Kell takes Jesper hand, puts the ring on his palm and closes his fingers around it. Then turns it around and kisses the back of his hand before releasing it.

"I want you to keep it."

Edited (i think it deserved an addition ;)) 2023-03-10 09:03 (UTC)

[OOC: Continued from here.]

"Who's hotel is closer, yours or mine?"

It's a lot harder to just find a place that's private and secluded in a strange city. Back home in Emunds Field there were barns and the woods and caves. In the castle there were all manner of little rooms that were ignored. Here...Mat isn't sure where they could manage it.

But he's in full agreement. They need to get somewhere behind a closed door, and as quickly as possible. He feels like his heart's a drum inside of him, thrumming and thudding in his ears. Everything feels just a bit funny, in a good way, and he just wants to be alone with Jesper. Where they won't be interrupted and they can just be together in the throes of love.

There will be time later to chide himself and argue back and forth in his mind over how stupid he's likely being. Why can't he just enjoy it for a bit? Why can't this be for him? Light knows he's watched his fellows fall in love and have their hearts made whole. For a time, at least. But he supposes that's a lesson to hold to - it doesn't really matter where you were or what dangers you knew about. Tragedy could strike at any moment. Maybe that's the point. The risk and the reward and all of that.

Maybe it's just his turn. Maybe for some people, love is just a rare thing, not easily earned or given. Or it just takes the right person. Who the fuck knows? He's never liked contemplating these things, it gives him a headache. But he knows it makes him feel a certain way to hear Jesper say 'I love you' like that, no flirtation and all honest emotion.

Almost makes him feel worthy of it.

"Yours."

Jesper got here first and the very first thing he did was scope out the area so he knew where everything of importance was. Their separate inns were high on that list, and also how to get in and out of them. Not only for the two of them, but he likes to know all exit options when he stays somewhere. He already has a pretty good lay of the land, his mind creating an internal map as he walks around. Except he got distracted by Mat and now he's going to continue to be.

Jesper takes his hand and tugs him in the direction of said inn, threading their fingers together. They can explore Luna together later. After an emotional outburst like this, Jesper needs to get his hands on Mat's skin, he needs to strip him bare like his heart was. He doesn't make them run although it would be funny, but they are definitely not going slow and taking their time.

It takes all his patience and strength to keep himself from being far more inappropriate once they get into the inn because they still need to get to his room. While Jesper would usually be tempted to press him up against places and tease them both, right then, that is not what he wants. He doesn't want wild passion and abandon, he wants something more intimate. They should get to be happy. He thinks about how he and Mat held each other after the nightmares, how they found what meager comfort they could with one another, and how it all brought them here.

As soon as they are inside his room Jesper cups Mat's face again and kisses him with slow and sweet purpose. He got a glimpse of one of the beds, not really caring which one is Mat's, because they need to be on one now. He walks him toward it but not with too much speed, like he plans on enjoying every part of this. Like he plans to make love to Mat, in ways he's subtly done for a long time, and now no longer has to pretend otherwise.

As the door closes behind them, Mat loops a sash over the outside door handle. Just in case. Jon's a rather monkish fellow, he'd hate to scandalize his holiday roommate. He does so with a grin, wide and sunny and brightening his eyes. His mouth smiles often, his eyes not as much.

"Mmm, wait wait wait."

Loathe as Mat is to pull away, there'll be hell to pay if he wrinkles or dirties his cloak. Even if it happened while distracted by that force known as love.

"The Lady Yennefer will have my hide if I don't take proper care with my good cloak." He slips it off with a quick kiss to Jesper's lips and hangs it on the hook. "Much as I'd like to lie with you in a bed of furs."

Another time. Right now, it really doesn't matter. He just wants to hold onto this feeling, this giddy thing that's wrapped them both. And express it in the most ancient and intimate way possible.

As soon as that's dealt with, Mat's hopping onto the bed and kicking off his boots.

Jesper whines when he says wait but it's mostly playful, he lets Mat do whatever he needs with the door and cloak. He shrugs out of his own signature coat and hangs it with Mat's, not that it ever really has to worry about wrinkling with a Durast's hand. It looks sweet to see them together like that, but maybe he's being overly sentimental, still imagining a life they could have together, someday.

He is already stepping out of his own boots at the door so that by the time he gets to the bed he's hopping a little and laughing, falling onto it next to Mat. He's always wearing layers but especially here, a long sleeved crisp white shirt under a brightly colored vest; Jesper is a snappy dresser for all seasons. Although he wouldn't mind getting rid of every piece of clothing he owns in exchange for extra time in bed with Mat. They have days together during this trip, even if it means they'll have to sneak around. It'll be worth it.

Naturally Jesper has lube with him because he is who he is, and he has an infinite amount of secret pockets to all his clothes. This one is in his vest instead of his jacket at least, and he drops it to the side for when they want it later. Being prepared comes with the territory, although they'll still have to negotiate the who, considering the two of them are perfect switches and gloriously well-suited in that way.

He slides his fingers into Mat's hair and tugs it lightly to tilt his head back, leaning forward to brush his mouth along his exposed throat. "Any preference, love?" Jesper murmurs into his skin, licking a piece of it, his lips gentle.

"You know I never do." Fucked or fucking, it feels good either way. Mat's never really cared, it's rare he's in a particular mood for one or the other. He just wants to be in bed with Jesper, any way, all of the ways, it doesn't matter.

He groans approvingly at the feel of lips on his neck, already tugging his billowing shirt out of his trousers. Thornean clothes, thankfully, are relatively easy to get out of. No buttons or complicated ties, easy to slip on...and off. And he's in quite a hurry to get them off. There's no desire to rush through this, he's just very eager to feel skin against skin.

Not that he needs any stimulation to be ready, he's already hard against the fabric of his trousers. Jesper just does that to him. Hardly anything and he's good to go, aroused and eager.

"Could always take turns."

The layers are amusing rather than annoying because of how much they just want to get out of them so they can feel that familiar but lovely bare skin. Jesper helps him get off his shirt and does his own, and then he pushes Mat back onto the bed, sliding on top of him eagerly. That seems to answer at least one question for himself. Jesper kisses him slowly then, rocking their hips together, hard against the fabric.

"I think I want to do something truly dramatic and clichely romantic." Jesper nuzzles his nose and kisses down his throat, lavishing both sides of his neck with licks and tiny sucks. He has thoroughly put his mouth on every part of Mat's body by now but he still likes to do it as much as possible. It's tasty, it's not his fault. He runs his tongue all the way from Mat's belly button down to the seam of his pants.

He moves back so he can undo said pants and pull them off, gray eyes gazing up to look at Mat's long lanky body while he does. "I want to make love to you. I want for every moment I'm touching you, I'm fucking you, for you to remember how I feel about you."

Mat laughs, tossing his tangled mop of curls as he props himself up on his elbows to look down at Jesper, fully enjoying all the attention.

"How's that any different than what we normally do?"

Fucking, making love...the latter's just a more polite way of saying the former as far as he's concerned. He always knows how Jesper feels about him, they're neither of them subtle or shy about it exactly. Maybe in saying the words, at least for him, but not in expressing it when they're together.

But maybe Jesper can enlighten him. Clearly he has something specific in mind.

He cheekily looks up at Mat and shrugs a shoulder. "I don't know, but I think I've got an idea." The truth is that Jesper's never really approached it this way either. Maybe this is the first time he's gone into sex wanting to make it all romantic and emotional, rather than fun and physical. Or all of the above, everything it can be.

Jesper is more than happy to play a little first though and he kicks out of his own clothes so they're not in the way. He settles down between Mat's legs comfortably, like he belongs there and he very well thinks he does sometimes. He runs his fingers along Mat's leg before hiking it up on his shoulder. He peppers kisses along the length of his cock and lathers his balls with his tongue to tease. He opens the lube bottle and wets up both hands, he doesn't have to look to do it, it all moves the way he wants like any liquid.

Jesper wraps his hand around the base and strokes him very slowly, right up to the tip for not stimulating it yet.

"Then I gladly give myself over to your ideas."

Maybe there is a difference. How the hell would Mat actually know? Just because he's been sleeping around for years - there's not much for the young adults of Two Rivers to do after all - it's never been a romantic thing. And certainly the pair of them have never been so clear and open with their feelings.

Either way, he's glad to be here. In this bed, this room, this place. Maybe a whole bunch of things have been utterly fucked up by his being here, but he's found Jesper, and he's selfish enough to consider that fair. There's bound to be plenty of other people who can save the world. How the hell many people are ever going to love him?

Still grinning, he encourages Jesper on without shame. His hips lift and he moans in pleasure, full hard and flushed.

"Showing our affection with teasing...are we?"

Jesper never actually got to have sex with Wylan, who was the closest thing he had to a love like Mat. Except he barely got to be with the merchling, a few weeks of sweet kisses and light heated exchanges, but it was the feelings that were new then. He thought they had a future, that was the difference, but the possibility of a future isn't the same thing as having nearly a year of a real relationship. Of learning Mat inside out, of feeling like every minute with him was not enough.

Reality beats fantasy. The beauty of their love is that it is built on the strongest of foundations. Friendship. Connection.

Although it does always come back to lust too, because they're young and hot and enjoy showing their affection through sex. Jesper loves the sound of his moan and looks up at him with mischief in his eyes. He winks and then dips down to slide a finger into Mat and at the same time uses his tongue to play along the sensitive edges of his hole. He moves his finger smoothly and firmly to ease Mat open and gives him good incentive with small darts of his tongue inside.

At the same time he keeps stroking his shaft in different tempos, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but only ever up to the head and not giving it any further stimualation on top. Jesper does like to make him want it.

[ At this point, he's wondering if anyone is even getting his attempts at reaching out or if he really is cut off from everyone outside, but he tries anyway. ]

Jesp̶̲̱̐ḛ̵̆͗r̶͇̬̍͆?

A̵̺͊̑͜r̷̳̈́ė̴͍̜̿ ̶̢́y̸̭̜͐͒ọ̴̔͂u̴͓̣̔͐ okay? Goddess, please b̵̜̂e̷͍̓͘ ̷͈̆o̵̦͋̚k̸̜͊a̶̦͗͛y̴̹͙̐́. I don't know ̵̡̏̄w̴̺͌́ͅh̷̪̬͊a̶̧̛̬t̶̢̓'̵̯̒͜s̷̨̑̾ ̷̪̙̓͗h̵̹̕͝á̸͎̻̌p̷̨͒͝p̶̦̉e̴̥̫͊n̸͚̈̿ḯ̵͉͎͝ṇ̷̎̈́g̸̙͠ ̴̡͕͝b̶̨̻̐͌u̴̗͌t̷̙͋̍ watch your back.

Edited 2023-02-20 19:16 (UTC)

Sylvain? Fuck, not you too.

J̸̗̑̽ȩ̴̛̫͇̳͋̇̔š̴̹͠per? Thank the Goddess! Ä̸̛̯r̶̝̼̊e̴͙̔̀ͅ ̸̼̃͝y̶̳̳̔͠o̷̳͆ṷ̴̮́͛ safe? T̴̝͓̓h̶̙͛͜ẻ̴̙͍͝ỷ̴͙ ̶̭̳͒c̸̦͘a̵̞͊m̵̝̔e̵͚͋̊ out of nowhere. Claude is

[ He is going to kill many, many someones for this. ]

Stick to Claude, power in numbers. I'm going to come and get all of you, soon as possible.

Well. Ī̴͓'̷̬͂̑l̵͓͆͆l̶͍̫̚ ̴̲̦̎l̶̤͗i̴͈̽k̸͇̀e̸̫̍l̷͍̤̇̈ỳ̸̨ ̸̲̼̾ still be here. Might wanna h̷̘̙͗͝ü̴̫r̸̡̄̇r̴̫̺͗ỷ̶̢ ̵̱͎̎̒t̶̮̎̌h̶̨̝̆̇o̸̺̱̊u̶͕͂̏g̴̤̚h̷̃ͅ.̴̰̉ ̶̜͠͝ Kaz is g̸͉͝ḙ̵̂͘ṱ̶̪̇͂t̷̺̺́̾i̷̼̣͗͆ň̵̖g̵̞̀͗ ̷̛̜ả̶̲ ̷͔̾͗l̵̠͗ị̵̗́t̴͕͛̀t̷̂ͅl̸͉̋e̶̅ͅͅ ̷͖̓̚c̴͕̓ŗ̷̬͐ḁ̷̠͑n̸̮͎̚k̵͓͗͌y̷̯̾.̵̝̓͘

Fuck. Listen Kaz and Inej are both very vulnerable in this situation, emotionally. More so than I can explain. Please keep an eye on them too, love.

P̴̠̿͐i̵̠̬͘c̴̠̦̏k̶̢̐é̶̻́d̵̞̜̎̃ ̴͕̾̋u̸̢͖̅́p̷̺̿ ̴̦̣́́ȏ̶̧͚n̴̦͑͜ ̵̦́ť̸͚͈̈́h̶̲́a̶̪̎t̴̛̳͛,̷̦͒̕ ̵͉̽y̸͇̠̓̓ẹ̸̬͑̂a̵̤̫͊̇ḫ̸̤͌. Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on them. Please ḃ̸̞̲e̶̥͌̿ ̵͕͆̉ċ̵̹à̵̱̼r̴͖̎̕e̴͙͖͐f̷̣̳̾͝ŭ̷̝l̸̢̀ ̶̦̋͝t̷͕̅h̸̤̀͋o̶̤͗͒ǔ̴͎͚̀g̷̞̓ĥ̶̘,̴̥̓́͜ Jesper. These bastards... they're pretty fucked up.

You're the one in their clutches, love. We'll find you. Shit like this leaves a trail. Just stay alive.

Jesper, if you get thi
Hello?
Jesper, answer if you hear me!

Jesper? Are you there?
Are you coming?
Is anyone?

Inej, I'm here.

Yeah we're working on it, we got some info raiding a bandit camp, Viktor's got this tracker on people that's apparently giving us signals in the direction you're all at. Everyone's working together, we're figuring it out.

Thank the Saints...
I miss you
I'm so scared
Just hurry

[ He feels like he can't catch enough breath seeing the word scared, knowing there is literally nothing he can do right now. Except beat the shit out of more people. ]

I love you, I promise I'll get there as soon as possible. How's Kaz?

S̵t̸u̶b̵b̷o̸r̸n̷ as always.

̴͕̳̯̰̠̤̎͊͑͑̿̀͐͂͋̆̋̌́̾̈́̏͘͘͝͠͝ ̷̨̧͔̖̫̲̺͚̾̀̌̋͛͂̍́̑̓̃̅́̚͘͠ ̶̨̡̛̛̛̮͈̤͇̺͉̼͚̼͈͍̮̖̙̙͕͕͐̄͋̆͂̓̽͗̌̌̿͌͗̉̐̕̕͜͠ ̴̧̗͔͈̭͕̞̜͓̼͓̙̩͍̬̝̙͓̤͇̌̓̑͊͆̅̽̍̄̓̄̒̑̚͘̚͜͝͠ ̷̢̨͍̺͔̪̩͉͉̻͑̂͆̆̽͋̄̇͒̓͊͆̊̄͊̈́̐̾̀͑͑̕͝ͅ ̷̢̧̛̛̘̤̩̗̠̩̭͖̲͇͎͓͉̣͕̣̤͖̫͒͑̎̄͑͗̓̓̎̏͐̊̊̇̈̍͜͠͝ ̷̨̧̡̧̘͈̗̞̦̳͎͔̪͚̪̺͓͇̙͎͚̤͈̠̳͛͗̆̿̽̽̐͊ ̷̢̨̙̤̥̟̝̱̠͇̠̭̥̮͉̣̺̟̯̾͐̐͐̀̔͛̅̂̽̓͘͝͝ ̶̧̻̯̜̩͕͉̤͕͖̠͖͇̭̹̜͇̪̱̠̈́͜ͅ ̵̛̛̬̝͔̜̠̲̗̳̻̪̝̉̍͋͐̈́̔̃̈̊̅͊̒͌̈́͂͗̑͋̚̕͝͠ ̶̨͓̙͙̳͍͙̲̪̦̦̯̠̝̝̈́̒̃̌̋͌͒̊͝ ̶̧͈̍̄̎̔̂̍̑̅̒̂̈́̇̉͑͆̈́̕͠ ̵̧̧̢̢͎͈̹͔͍̖̦͓̝̞̤̞̮̟͍̰̘̮͉̆̈̔͑́̍̈́̆̃͝͝ͅ ̷̢̨̙̤̥̟̝̱̠͇̠̭̥̮͉̣̺̟̯̾͐̐͐̀̔͛̅̂̽̓͘͝͝ ̶̧̻̯̜̩͕͉̤͕͖̠͖͇̭̹̜͇̪̱̠̈́͜ͅ ̵̛̛̬̝͔̜̠̲̗̳̻̪̝̉̍͋͐̈́̔̃̈̊̅͊̒͌̈́͂͗̑͋̚̕͝͠ ̶̨͓̙͙̳͍͙̲̪̦̦̯̠̝̝̈́̒̃̌̋͌͒̊͝ ̶̧͈̍̄̎̔̂̍̑̅̒̂̈́̇̉͑͆̈́̕͠ ̵̧̧̢̢͎͈̹͔͍̖̦͓̝̞̤̞̮̟͍̰̘̮͉̆̈̔͑́̍̈́̆̃͝͝ͅ ̷̢̨̙̤̥̟̝̱̠͇̠̭̥̮͉̣̺̟̯̾͐̐͐̀̔͛̅̂̽̓͘͝͝ ̶̧̻̯̜̩͕͉̤͕͖̠͖͇̭̹̜͇̪̱̠̈́͜ͅ ̵̛̛̬̝͔̜̠̲̗̳̻̪̝̉̍͋͐̈́̔̃̈̊̅͊̒͌̈́͂͗̑͋̚̕͝͠ ̶̨͓̙͙̳͍͙̲̪̦̦̯̠̝̝̈́̒̃̌̋͌͒̊͝ ̶̧͈̍̄̎̔̂̍̑̅̒̂̈́̇̉͑͆̈́̕͠ ̵̧̧̢̢͎͈̹͔͍̖̦͓̝̞̤̞̮̟͍̰̘̮͉̆̈̔͑́̍̈́̆̃͝͝ͅ

He misses you
Jesper? No mourners.

Edited 2023-03-15 21:09 (UTC)

No funerals.

Please come back to me, Inej. I'm nothing without you two.

I’m trying
I. l̺̝̠̳̫̎͆̽͛̀͘͘͢͞ở̸͙͈̭̹̮̜̤͛̐̒̒̆̚͡ṽ̶̥͙̞̪̳̘̜̇̈̇̐̅͆̓͟ẽ͓̗̫̮̙͗͐͊͊́̈͝ you

Edited 2023-03-17 18:24 (UTC)

[ He feels so helpless. He can't do a damned thing. ]

I love you. I swear I'll find you.

I got out.

Don't know where I am but I'm out.

[ He feels like he's going to throw up but in a good way. Mat's words are crystal clear. Thank everything. ]

Darling, you have no idea how good it is to hear from you.

What do you see? They said you're on an island, we were planning on going there.

I can imagine, as I was pretty sure we'd never see each other again.

Mountains, somewhere close enough to see the Singularity. I already told Julie, she found me in the Horizon.

But there's still folks back in that place, ones that stayed behind.

Julie said you were out, still much better to have proof.

We're working on that, we're splitting into two groups. One going for you, which I'm in, and the other going after the people left behind.

Sorry I didn't reach out immediately. It takes concentration, had to rest up first. Didn't want to end up sending gibberish just because I was exhausted and worrying you.

Things were a mess when we got out. The place was coming down.

Love, I'm not going to tell you any time table you need to be on in this situation. I'm just glad you're out.

Well if it helps, people have heard from those that stayed behind, it appears they're still kicking. We're a harder group to kill than they thought, clearly.

You and I both. I'll be honest, I wasn't too sure. They did some fucked up things down there.

Good.

You just need to make it a little longer, sweetheart. You'll be in my arms again before long.

I'm not near as worried about surviving out here. I can survive in the wild.

I'm holding you to that.

Only not before I've had a good scrub, conditions have been very unhygienic.

They've got a whole lot of space set up for when you lot get back. One of the inns is being turned into a hospital space for you to rest in. They'll have all the soap and water you can ask for as well as healers. You're almost at the end.

I love you, Mat. With all of my heart.

Sounds like a dream.

Yeah.

Love you, too.

Hey.

I know it's been
a couple of weeks,
but I wanted to
check in on you.

On me? Why?

Things have been really messed up.
I haven't really had a chance since
we were in the Aquila together.
A lot has happened lately.

Edited (continuity?? clarity?? forgetfulness, probably 👀) 2023-03-28 04:09 (UTC)

Maybe I should be asking how YOU are then.

I'm angry.

I understand.
I'm angry, too.

Too bad deep lake diving wasn't a calming experience.

I'd say it's Dean you should worry about, but I'm pretty sure you already know that.

I do know that, yeah.
Thanks for the reminder.
I meant are you in one piece?
I should have been specific.

Oh Saints did he end up torturing people over there too? It's fine when I'm doing it, but he clearly can't handle it.

Yeah, mate, we're alright, I think we're getting everyone back in one piece. They made us take two of the bad guys though, weird. Guess they helped them get out.

[ He'd rather kill them. Also no, he has no idea about Dean. ]

I'm really glad you're okay.
Something happened to Dean.
He was helping during the rescue
and was killed by a sea creature.
I'm sorry. It didn't feel right to wait.
But I needed time to gather myself.
I wanted you to hear it from me.
He would have wanted you to know.

[ That is the last thing Jesper expected. He pauses in what he's doing, lagging behind as he attempts to process that. Loss was a way of life in Ketterdam, that's why their common phrase was no mourners, no funerals. To keep your hopes low. It doesn't make it hurt less, especially considering how close everyone is in Cadens. He takes in a sharp breath and lets it out, a few minutes pass by without a response. ]

Sam, I'm so sorry. Dean was my friend, but he's your brother.

[ Jesper sometimes thought of him like a big brother figure, something he always wanted, but it's different from really being one. He hasn't quite adapted to the reality of what he's saying since he can't fully use past tense yet.]

Is there anything I can do for you?Once I get back I can help spread the word so you don't have to do this a dozen times.

[ It hasn't been easy for Sam who wants nothing more than to leave this to someone else. But that's not how it's done in their family. It takes him a little while to answer. ]

Thanks, that would help.
If anyone has questions
you can send them to me.
And I'll keep you posted.

If there's anything I can do once this is over, even if it's just buying a drink for our sorrows, let me know.

Thanks, I think I will
take you up on that.
If you need me before then,
I'm still helping out.

We'll be back with the others soon. We'll have all the drinks after.

Is Jo with you? Castiel?

We're together, yeah.
We're all still processing.
I'm worries one of them
is going to run off to rage.

Castiel must be fucked up from the pit anyway, maybe see if you can get Jo to focus by looking after him while he heals? If it's framed like it would be what Dean would want, she might.

She'd see right through it.
At least the two of them
seem to be holding onto
each other for the moment.
If they get into trouble
it'll be the both of them.

Well you can always tell them the truth. That you're handling your grief as best as you can and you'd really appreciate it if they kept it together for you too. Because none of you need more shit to go wrong right now.

Yeah, that's not how
we do things, sadly.
I wish it was, but...
You know how goes.

Sorry, mate, wish I was there. I could just make the two of them pass out and save you the effort.

If it doesn't help them
maybe it would help me.
I keep thinking that
I could have done more.
But I know that's the
exhaustion and grief.
The urge to fight has
been dogging me all day.

There's no way to logic out of a feeling like guilt.

Maybe you and Jo should spar. Might sound crazy considering everything, but you both have to get it out some way.

I might have to do that.
Thanks for the advice.
I'll catch you soon
and we'll get that drink.

Take care, Sam. I'll see you when we get this lot back. And again. I'm sorry about Dean.

[ooc: full link]

"I will have you know I have become very mature and dignified and meditative over the past year." He can't even keep a straight face over that. It's too ridiculous.

Jesper laughs and pushes him playfully. "It's easy to meditate when it takes you to another world where anything you can imagine is created. Wait until you see my cabin, oh and I can show you television." Wanda showed him enough television that he was able to make one of his own, although he can only remember things she and Dean have shown him over time. But they're still worth seeing.

"I have a music room too, your flute ...." He pauses, realizing how revealing it is that he has Wylan's flute in his Horizon even now. "It's there, well, a version of it."

Wylan really isn't sure what Jesper is talking about. Tele-what? He's about to ask when he realizes what else Jesper says. His flute? He feels himself blushing and he averts his eyes down. Jesper hasn't seen him in a year and he still kept Wylan's flute in a music room.

His lips curl up into a smile and he looks up at Jesper. "I can't wait to see it." He pulls him in again pressing their lips together gently.

Jesper may admit later that he kept the Van Eck mansion as his domain for fully eight months before letting it go and creating the cabin. They may not have had a long time together, but it was the type of thing difficult to let go of. Keeping Wylan's flute was something he needed to have. Now more than ever, with his new memories. But he still didn't see this coming.

Now that Wylan is here and kissing him it would be so easy to just reconcile. "I need to tell you ... two more major things. Before we can do more kissing." Jesper has to do the right thing by both of them. He couldn't allow any false pretenses.

"When I first came here, in the timeline it was the same as yours. But I recently got an entire year of memories from home, of us, and some ... other interesting developments. Including a Grisha become Queen of Ravka." Insane, yes, but more importantly, the fact that he remembers being with Wylan more than one night. Much more. It puts them at such opposite places.

"The other thing is ... Wylan, you know me." Jesper sighs, cupping his cheek. "I've been here awhile so I have other lovers. Including, um." He makes a face, this is going to be the hard one, really, because of the strangeness. "Kaz."

Wylan pulls back, a little disappointed that Jesper is stopping them but he gets it, mostly. It's just that it's still new for him, that he can do this, and he kind of wants to kiss him all the time. It's not his fault Jesper has perfect lips.

"A year? A good year?" He asks curiously. " A Grisha queen? What happened to King Nikolai?" He's going to ask another question when Jesper keeps talking and then well.

He blinks up at him. Other lovers stings, but he gets it, he does know Jesper, and he wasn't here. They only really had a day, maybe two, of whatever this was. Can he hold that against Jesper? And then Jesper says a name he would never have expected.

"Kaz? Kaz Brekker?" He's sorry, can you repeat that Jesper?

"A really good year," Jesper confirms. It was actually painful when he woke up with it and found himself in this terrible situation, still hurting from heartache, trying to take care of all the people he loved. There was a time when he first arrived and a year with someone seemed very unlikely, but then he met Mat. And now this. "He abdicated and she was elected or something, very insane, to be honest. We went on a mission together before all that happened."

So they went on a mission with the King and Queen of Ravka! Strangest experience in retrospect. But obviously. This other part is more important. And awkward. Jesper sighs and drops his hand down away from Wylan and rubs it across his jaw instead.

"Yes. Kaz Brekker. Also ... Inej in emotional terms, technically." By that he means they haven't had sex but they have kissed and Jesper feels she is on par with his other lovers because the romantic connection is there. "They're also a thing, obviously." Something very well known to all of them. His piece in it is just new. Jesper doesn't know how much they've done, but it doesn't matter.

"I love them. Just as I love you." There is nothing more sincere in that moment than the look on Jesper's face and the intensity of his gaze. "And I know you are not where I am that way, I had a year, remember, but it's still the truth. My heart is just something I've been sharing for a time."

He feels like he needs to sit down. But he already is sitting down.

Love. Jesper loved him? And he loved Kaz and Inej and other people? None of this was anything Wylan knew how to deal with. He wasn't even sure if he loved Jesper- no, that wasn't true. He knew he loved Jesper, he was just nowhere near ready to start acknowledging that. They had been kissing for two days, Jesper was going to live with him but they hadn't exactly talked about it. He was only just starting to accept that he was someone who was capable of being loved. That he was good enough. Was he good enough?

It was like watching Jesper with Kuwei all over again, only he was just hearing about it. Still, that uncomfortable feeling rose up in him and he moved back, putting space between them so he could breathe. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Jesper lets him go because he wants to respect him having space to figure shit out. It's not as if any of this is easy, and he gets that, he really does. He agreed to monogamy with Wylan because he wanted to see what it was like and he felt he could do it. And it was true. For that year, he never touched anyone else, and he was happy. But things changed for him here.

"You don't have to say anything. I just don't want to lie to you or hide anything." He's miserable about it. He always knew this could happen and that he would need to have this conversation if it did. The last thing he wants to do is hurt him. "You deserved to know before you kept kissing me."

Jesper sighs and looks away from him. "Wy, what I've found is that my heart isn't cut into one piece. It can be cut into many pieces and it's still all real. I love you, I really do. You don't have less of my heart because other people have parts of it."

It's a good thing Jesper looks away because Wylan winces at his words. He feels himself pulling back into himself like he hasn't in months, not since they started the ice court job.

"I really need you to stop saying that." He tries to keep his voice steady and he's pretty sure he does a good job at it.

There is a pause and then he nods, moving back on the bed a little to give Wylan space. "I understand. Let's just ... talk about this place and what you need to know." Jesper doesn't need an exact answer from Wylan now and it's stupid to even imply as much. He's stated his feelings and where he's at, that has to be enough.

Except who knows if it'll ever be enough. If he can ever be enough. He thought he was for Mat and look how that went.

"Um, if you want to go into the Horizon, I can take you."

Wylan shakes his head. If he gets any more information he thinks his brain might explode, or he might burst into tears and he does not want to cry in front of Jesper again. One time was bad enough.

"No-I think. I think I need to go...take a walk or something?" He stands up and then pauses. Jes per hasn't actually asked him to stay here with them. "I don't- uh. I don't want to go back to that military base though."

Jesper's been so on edge lately that even one more touch at his abandonment issues makes him want to throw up. He swallows it down and looks at the floor. "I get it, I'm around." For when he needs someone, always.

"Oh, uh. Just ask Mags, the woman downstairs. She'll get you set up in a room here. All the Summoned get to live here." He would suggest he stay with Kaz but that could be weird right now too. As long as he's in the inn, he's safe.

Wylan nods, not sure why that feels even worse. He doesn't need someone to help him set up accommodation, he did it on his own before he can again. He's the one that needed some space.

"Oh, okay. I'll...I'll be back later then. We can. We can talk more?" He needs to leave before he makes this worse. He glances at Jesper and feels his own heart break as he makes for the door, pulling it open and stepping outside. he closes it behind him before letting himself lean against it softly. Letting his eyes well with tears for a moment before he swallows them down, he won't be that person anymore. He pushes off the door and goes to do what he said. A walk to clear his head.

Wylan's reappearance has made everything more complicated, and that is saying a great deal. He thought it was bad enough for him to get a year of a happy life placed into his head, although at the time it just made him glad to know that things worked out for them back there. Because he still thought it would mean it is not his life anymore. Then Wylan's here and it's all wrong. Just his luck.

He watches Wylan go, wanting so much to reach out and beg him to stay or ask for his patience. He's had a shitty month and it was nice to sit with him again, to touch him. Instead Jesper just sits there dejected and once Wylan's gone he lies on his back on the bed and puts his hands over his face. Just another fantastic day.

Certain events make you wonder what's stopping certain people from seeing that somehow they all came to a similar end.

Perhaps less ritual carnivorous birds and more seeing them all dead.

Too many of them lived. I damn well hope the prison they're in is exceptionally terrible.

I agree.

Do we have any information on the place? Any of your people have details about just what they're enduring?

No, they're secretive about it, probably because they know some of us would like to continue revenge plans.

If this place wasn't full of so much magic, I would risk assassination attempts, but they'd probably track me.

We need information. Even not on the building itself but on how they're treated, what happens to them, and we should look into demanding proof they're even there.

How do we know they didn't sacrifice one to release the rest?

[ Dammit but they need a Matthias here. ]

It can't be me who asks, that public display in Nocwich definitely didn't put me on any good lists.

[ It is what it is, he can admit that now. ]

Maybe one of those things Inej can look into.

We'll definitely put her on things, and likely she'll come back with answers.

What if I tried asking? As someone that was hurt by them, tortured, and just needs the peace of mind to know that they aren't pampered during their incarcerations.

I mean... already crippled, tortured in my own life by horrific things, and now nervous of what could happen if they somehow found their way free?

That sounds very reasonable and clever to me.

When the gates to Nocwich open again, we'll see what I can find out.

I'm pissed that those bastards didn't get executed. We have too many naive people.

[ He loves Sam, but seriously. Seriously. ]

When has forgiveness for zealot ever resulted in anything but more deaths?

Not to mention how easily they captured us. As if their people can't get them out of anywhere with that in mind. Maybe not today, maybe a year from now, but I doubt any of them will stay in prison for their time.

Exactly. They got in and out of every single group here like it was nothing. Against trained fighters and grisha of every sort.

And we're to believe that's all of them as well?

I assume they tortured all of the prisoners for answers. Not that it means they gave any. Maybe the best move for us is to wait a little while so the attention is off us and then see who we can take out.

If they're actually keeping them in prison, we have time.

I just want to find out the truth. Maybe living is worse than their death sentence we saw.

It's possible. I wonder if they would have executed all of them that way, or if she was just special as the ringleader.

It feels like an attempt to appease those that voted for execution for all, but maybe they've done worse to them.

I could accept that but I need to see it to believe it.

Nocwich is full of vampires and werewolves. From what I've heard from other people's tales, at least one of those groups eats people. Maybe they'll eat them.

I like that answer. Wish I thought it was the truth.

It's true, if they ate people someone would probably know. They'd have a reputation. Thorne seemed to be the only ruthless place, which isn't a surprise. I know most of the people there.

[ AKA he's slept with a good handful of them. ]

I feel almost offended then if that's where the ruthless go.

[ Not that he wouldn't have fought tooth and nail to get to where Jesper and Inej were but still. ]

They need to have a certain kind of ruthlessness to be trapped all the time in a gilded cage. But you would have hated it. We would've immediately gotten in trouble trying to get you from Thorne.

I can't deny that. I don't do well caged.

So we'll get in trouble here then. Especially dealing with those that would cage us. Even if underground is less cage than dungeon.

It was serendipity that I came when I did because they let Inej cross over from Solvunn here. It was the only time they've allowed people to switch factions voluntarily.

[ The idea of them being separated all this time is agonizing for him. Luckily it didn't happen. ]

I don't know her idea of the Summoned Faction could ever work. They'd keep kidnapping people even if it did.

You're not wrong. Even if they don't stop her, it will only encourage them.

We just have to determine if that should be a deterrent or not.

I suppose it matters if they would find that an act of treason or not. Free Cities may be more likely to shrug about us, but I imagine Thorne would just throw their people in the dungeon again.

To make it work, we would have to negotiate with them and run this as a government.
We can't leave her to do this alone, which means forming the government with her.

I know, I hope she's just ready for if this ends up being an impossible task.

I'll have a talk with her about what she plans to do. Both if it works and if it doesn't.

Eventually the official war is going to start too. There's no way I believe Thorne and Free Cities are done.

We'll need a plan and I will hear what it is you and Inej both want.

Yes, boss.

You know, I always thought scheming face was sexy, but now that I've had sex with you, it's particularly satisfying.

...

Distraction do not help with scheming, Jesper Fahey.

Oh am I distracting you? I could make it so much worse.

Your very existence is distracting, and I am not complaining.

Nor am I discouraging you.

Come here and kiss me so I can intentionally distract you.

If you insist, how can I say no?

[ His heart races even as he thinks that message, sending it. ]

I insist.

[ He'll find him and kiss him senseless! ]

Dean's alive.

The dark woods, outside the roadhouse. They're from Purgatory. I didn't make them - Dean did.

He's still here.

Well fuck you were right. Take a bow.

But why hasn't he reached out to you or Sam?

He's been known to take heavy burdens onto himself and refuse others support.

The state we may find him will likely be dire, but it's all the more reason to search.

He's not in Cadens, we would know. I am fairly certain all the other factions would know if one of us tried to infiltrate or washed up there.

Somewhere else in the Free Cities?

It'd have to be a seaside settlement, at least initially.

I've been tracking tavern altercations with wounds matching the First Blade's traits. They've been scattered throughout the Free Cities, but not within Cadens.

I'm going to suggest Aquila. When Sam and I went there to investigate the kelp, I dove down and it was one of those things I mentioned, where we thought maybe things were being teleported. We already know Aquila was connected to their teleporting, so it's possible it had one by the island.

Edited 2023-05-07 02:36 (UTC)

Yes, thank you, I'll look into it. The teleporting - was that the shipwreck seemed to vanish? Have you learned anything else about it?

Yes they gave me special diving gear and while I did find something down there, it wasn't the right shipwreck. That one apparently disappeared entirely. When everyone talked about the strange teleportation and what it did in its locations, it seemed like that might have been similar. It makes sense they may have had to transport some of you over water at one point.

We couldn't find out more because it wasn't the right ship. I wonder if we can find it in the water near the island if that explains it. But if there is a teleport from there to the island, maybe he got sucked into it or something. This isn't really my forte though.

Interesting. Most portals, as far as I'm aware, require an ongoing spell to keep them open. Teleportation is typically another thing all together, a spell with a single instance that moves an object, rather than presents a doorway. Either way, I wonder whether either spell would remain active when all the acolytes have been removed.

It'd be worth checking around the island we were held, but access to that seems to be caught up in bureaucracy at the moment.

Did you find any traces of magic in the waters when you searched?

Edited 2023-05-08 00:09 (UTC)

Since they all used High Magic I have no idea how any of it was done, probably someone in Solvunn could make guesses. I'm just throwing darts at a wall at this point. I never really got an answer about where that ship went and why a different one was down there.

They're not going to let anyone on that island any time soon. Maybe try in a few months, but that's not soon enough for finding Dean, obviously. And you don't want to draw attention to it.

Nothing that I myself can tell, but my abilities don't really have a detect magic detail.

I've been in contact with some people in Solvunn, I'll inquire after it.

No, I don't imagine we'll have any way to access it soon. Hopefully, each nation had their people do a sweep, so if Dean remained, he'd be pressed to move on quickly.

You were with them, in the desert, weren't you, Jesper? Did you witness the incident with Jo?

If I can help in any way, just let me know.

I didn't witness it, no, I was trying to keep them all alive alone at the time.

[ Yeah he's still annoyed about it a little bit. It went from a whole team of fighters to him trying to slow down their attackers before they got to the group.]

But I know what happened and I saw her afterward. It was pretty fucked up.

Jesper gets tipsy from the execution which is why he suggested later that night, so he can sober up. It would only make focusing on the Horizon and what they plan on doing there more difficult. Jesper's cabin is exactly as he described. Pretty and simple, it is a bright sunny day outside always. It is a stark contrast to the Crow Club which is permanently in the shadow, but he made this for that reason. The execution was troubling, but Jesper really did shake it off after an hour or two. The bitch is dead. No reason to waste any more time on her.

He would like to waste the rest of his time with Kell instead. They could probably both use an outlet right then. Jesper doesn't wait inside though, he can be found at the shooting range right next to the cabin. There is a table there that is filled with different types of guns that anyone can pick up and use for target practice. Jesper still favors his mother's revolvers most of the time, but sometimes he needs something else.

He is not currently using any of them though. Instead he is practicing with his telekinesis. Jesper tosses a handful of bullets in the air and catches them telekinetically, holding them and spinning them around him. It's been time like this spent in the Horizon that really helped him become an expert in his abilities. He throws his hand out and they shoot with lethal aim at the targets without needing a gun, the projectiles dangerous all on their own. The bandits in the Badlands can attest to that.

Jesper doesn't have his coat on in here, he is dressed very simply since soon enough Kell will be here and he'll have no clothes necessary. He puts out his hand and all of the bullets are called back from the targets to hover in his palm again before settling down. He glances up, sensing someone entering his space and hoping it'll be a sexy redhead to take his troubles away.

There are very rare occasions that Kell does actually dress up for. Actually puts effort and conscious thought into what he's about to wear. The Horizon gives them all opportunity to go wild without the constraints of their material possessions. Outside, Kell doesn't have an extensive wardrobe. All he has is mainly practical. Some items bought for specific events, and then maybe worn once, before he reverted to his standard muted colors with only concession to brighter colors being his white shirts.

Nothing looks remotely close to what he is wearing right now. Charcoal waistcoat with opulent, silver embroidery running down its front and sleeves, matching shirt and pants, a thin cane with silver rose on top in his hand, and a short, many-stranded whip hangs from his belt. There's a theme to this outfit. Clearly much thought went into assembling it to look like it does. An obvious over-preparation on Kell's part since he'll be ditching all of this soon.

Kell walks up to the shooting range looking completely out of place among all the greenery in his formal attire. But he must have found a right mood in this odd persona, because he's not skulking, in his usual all hunched eyes on the ground way. He walks with confidence, with straight back and gaze lazily glazing over his surroundings.

"Hi," he says approaching Jesper, and it's the only crack in his otherwise perfect image.

His attire might be excellent, but he really needs to work on his eloquence.

Kell does look out of place but so does Kaz every time he's visiting here. It's like Jesper to get attracted to people so different from him, so when he sees him coming up looking like a fancy snack, he has to grin. Jesper has no shame or hesitation, as Kell knows, so he crosses over to him and digs his hands into the front of Kell's shirt. No respect for the fanciness, but they're in the Horizon. Jesper tugs him directly into a toes curling kiss, leaving nothing to question.

After they have to breathe, he nuzzles Kell's nose before already undoing the waistcoat with nimble fingers. Right in the open. He'd let Kell fuck him right here where anyone could walk by in the Horizon. In fact, Jesper sits up on the table where the guns are to the side, pulling Kell toward him. His legs spread so it's easy to fit Kell right between them, lacking in any subtly. Nothing wrong with a little sexy foreplay.

"Did you dress up for me, sweetheart? What a delightful present to unwrap." As usual Kell doesn't have to worry about whether or not he's eloquent. He's hooking up with someone who finds talking remarkably easy, especially dirty talk. Everything that falls from Jesper's lips sounds like pure honey, his confidence unwavering.

"I could tell today was hard for you." The execution disturbed him, although not so much that he didn't get sucked into Jesper's irreverent flirtation. Jesper looks appropriately apologetic about it now, just to please him. "Let me make it all better."

Kell was counting on Jesper having no shame, so lets himself get pulled into the kiss quite enthusiastically and responds with equal fervor, his free hand going down Jesper's lithe body to grip his ass. No sense of shame indeed. He can tell that Jesper needs this at least as much as he does. The mind melting heat to chase away all the bad memories that still lurk in the deep shadows.

Kell has no desire for lengthy preludes. He doesn't need much convincing to follow Jesper to the table. He did say he plans to fuck him on every surface in his cabin. They might as well start with the table outside. Kell doesn't even mind it's in full view of anyone that could potentially walk on them by simple act of visiting Jesper's domain at this particular moment. In fact, it adds to the allure. That on its own is incredible. Any other time, Kell would probably die of embarrassment barely for thinking about sex in public. Let alone having it. Here, as part of their play, he's all for it. Amazing what a little charade and a costume can do for a person's confidence.

Kell doesn't waste time shoving himself between Jesper's deliciously inviting legs, working his shirt open so he has more bare skin to devour, already kissing and sucking his way down Jesper's neck even before he has much access. His cane falls down into the soft grass forgotten. Kell lets go of it so he has both hands free to grope Jesper's ass, slide them up and down Jesper's thighs while he kisses him.

"You better do," he purrs into Jesper's ear, takes his time to catch soft earlobe between his teeth. Just a gentle bite before he continues. "You have been quite impossible earlier today." He slips a hand between them so he can undo Jesper's pants and pull them down. "I expect you to make it up to me for misbehaving like that." Please misbehave more, so he fuck you more often. Kell's own all too well-fitting trousers start feeling like a torture, his own cock making a pretty sizeable tent from the tight fabric. He presses his hips against Jesper's so his lover can feel exactly how glad he is to see him.

Jesper is slightly infamous at this point about semi-public sex. He might not have seduced Kell out in the open at the execution, but if there were some trees or places they could fuck behind, he would've done it. There is still privacy of a kind in the Horizon. If he wanted to, he could close it off from anyone, this is his space, but what's the fun in that? They'll be loud enough soon that it's someone's own fault if they go toward the sounds instead of away from them.

Jesper lets him hungrily take his shirt off and eagerly goes along with any kind of stripping, lifting his hips so that Kell can take his pants off. That makes him very quickly completely naked right out in the open, and he goes a step further by digging his nails into Kell's shirt and ripping it open. Buttons fly and it doesn't matter in here, they can create the clothes again, so that's why it's not a concern. If Kell wants to dress fancy, that's great, but being naked is better.

"You want to know a Horizon secret, baby?" He doubts that Kell has had sex in here, or if he has, it hasn't been as much as they're about to. Jesper's in love with someone from Thorne, sometimes the Horizon is all they have, outside of Nocwich occasionally. He knows the ins and out of this place. "Anything you can imagine can happen." If you want to be drunk, you're drunk, if you want to be hard, you're hard.

He takes Kell's hand and sucks two fingers into his mouth provocatively, before moving it down his body to his entrance. He smirks at Kell and pulls him sharply, forcing those fingers inside of him right away. The trick becomes obvious when instead of dry tightness, he'll already feel Jesper wet and open. He could just mentally make himself ready for Kell. He wouldn't replace actually fucking for anything, but sometimes he's impatient.

"Don't worry, I plan on making sure I feel everything you give me." He wants it to be hard and painful, he can allow himself the agony that would be realistic out of here. But he wants to skip to Kell craming into him. "Let's start this out right. Fuck me roughly."

Kell never planned to keep his clothes on for too long. The fun was in creating them, and having them ripped apart. They were designed to be destroyed. He loves it that Jesper picks up on it, or arrives at this independently. Doesn't really matter. What does is that the sound of tearing fabric is so satisfying. The fact that they have to do it in Horizon is a little disappointing. It's better than nothing, but it's also only a shared fantasy, nothing more.

Never had he learn it so painfully as during the time in the mountains, fresh out of the murder cave. There was one thing, one person he craved more than anything else. Whose absence he felt as much and as painfully as the loss of his magic. Horizon was their only option to see each other. So Kell is well aware of it's limitations. However realistic he can make what happens here, it's never even close to the real thing. A touch in Horizon is only as real as his own mind let's it be. It wasn't enough for him then, it's barely enough now. Hence all the theatrics.

But there's another side of Horizon. The one that Jesper mentions. Everything is possible here. That other side is Kell's favorite feature of Horizon. The main reason he sometimes spends so much time here. The reason why, apart from the portion that he keeps steady for Rhy, their shared domain is in state of perpetual flux. Because Kell keeps changing it. Constantly creating things that would be impossible or too dangerous to try outside of it.

It is only in their minds that it happens, but Kell knows that his mind is stronger than his body ever will. That he can spin the most devious tale of agony and ecstasy for Jesper here. To put him through such torment he'd never risk otherwise. He never had sex in Horizon, but Kell can compensate lack of experience with vivid imagination. And he quite likes the fact he can get hard at will, with no need to wait between one ravenous fuck and another.
He moans loudly when Jesper sucks at his fingers than shoves then inside of him, already wet and open.

"You're unbearable," he hisses fucking him with his fingers while he loosens his pants enough to take his now painfully hard cock out.

"I say when I fuck you and how," he growls then proceeds to do exactly what Jesper wants him to do. Pulls his fingers out and thrusts his cock in hard and fast. Kell doesn't bother taking his clothes off. He only loosened his pants enough to take his cock out so he can fuck Jesper without undressing. If Jesper wants him naked, he'll have to to tear the clothes off him by force. Kell very much counts that he will. He wants to fell Jesper's nails and teeth on him.

Jesper generally prefers being in the real world. He's very grounded in his life in Cadens and always has plenty to do. But there is something deeply beautiful about this place too and sometimes it does relax him. The shooting range is actually his favorite spot because he doesn't have anywhere in Cadens to just blow some steam off with his bullets. He can put them all back together, but it satisfies something in him to let it go. The fact that he wants Rhy to have sex with him on this table is also very deliberate. He spends a lot of time here shooting his guns. Now he'll think of this.

"You love it," is what he laughs back, about being unbearable. That laugh turns strangled when Kell starts shoving his fingers in him for real and he groans. "Yes, Kell, whatever you say, please." He can say out loud when he fucks him and how as long as he actually does it. Jesper's already feeling on the edge of pleasure and he cries out loudly when Kell thrusts into him. "Fuck, yes, thank you, thank you." See he can be very good and appreciative when he gets what he wants.

Jesper can actually destroy people's clothing with a single touch due to his Grisha abilities, and he does that now, the thread just seeming to unravel entirely by itself when he tugs on Kell's pants. Leaving them both naked and grinding together. He hooks his legs around Kell's waist and digs his heels into his ass to keep him pushing hard.

Jesper leans back onto his elbows so he can angle himself perfectly for Kell's cock and also look at him clearly from here. His hungry eyes moves over his flushed pale skin and fire red hair, his pretty cock sliding in and out of him. He's grunting and loud, as if he wants them to be caught, the sound of their flesh slapping together over and over again obscene.

"Saints I missed your cock. Did you miss my hole?" His smile is wicked. "Did you miss cramming it full of your come?"

Kell had never had sex in Horizon before. So it comes as a shock, a very nice pleasant shock, but a shock still how real it all feels. He tears into Jesper like a ravenous beast with no care for the pain he might cause him, but he did not expect himself to feel it so strongly. Did not foresee the wave of pleasure to hit him like a sudden surge.

What he really loves is hearing Jesper's laughter cut short when he fucks with his fingers, his cry when he rams into him. Horizon tricks or not it feels real enough for his mind to interpret the signals as true and floods him with pleasure. He actually prefers that Jesper destroys his clothes with magic. It better that way. Kell finds magic infinitely sexier than brute force.

"Clever boy" he coos, as he continues to thrust hard and deep into Jesper. So deep that the whole table creaks and shakes under them. Their now naked bodies making the such obscene sounds they make Kell lust for more.

"I did. It's a very pleasant hole to ruin. I plan to fill it up so full you'd beg me to stop, and I won't."

He must have. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gone from nothing to orgasm so quickly. They have barely started and Kell already is on the very brink of it. He dives in to devour Jesper's lips, a hungry, possessive kiss, all tongue and teeth. Tears away for a frantic breath only to let out a moan as he shoots his come hot and deep into Jesper, shivering under waver after wave of pleasure. It's too much. It's not enough. Still shaking from that first one. Kell already longs for more. This is Horizon. They could anything here. So he doesn't stop.

Jesper appreciates the level of passion that Kell seems to have stored all his life just waiting for someone nasty to get it out of him. He's already admitted to never really having sex like this before, but he's a savant when it comes to adjusting to it. While Jesper does have lovers who will happily tie him up or hold him down, or he can do the same to them, he usually reserves this kind of full out kink for special partners. They lucked into finding each other.

He moans into Kell's mouth when he kisses him and he leans up into him, hands hungrily sliding all over his body, digging into his back, tugging at his hair. He bites on his lip and he can feel Kell on the brink of orgasm already so he only spurs him on. "Come, yeah, fill me," he whispers breathlessly when they part. He doesn't care that he hasn't come yet, Jesper's positive he is going to have plenty of orgasms today.

"Mmm, quick learner." Jesper says, amused, when Kell seems to already pick up on the fact that in here they can do whatever they want. Kell can simply get hard again inside of him and keep going, like he does. It still can be mentally draining eventually, but until then, it's all about the endless thrill.

"Hold on, pause." Jesper doesn't think he needs to use his safeword because he hopes that Kell will understand he only has to use that when they're unsure of things. "Please let me switch positions." He explains quickly because he doesn't want Kell to stop, he wants him to keep going. But since he hasn't come yet, he'd really like to get Kell at a deeper angle.

He says please as a respectful acknowledgement that he is still the passive one here, Kell gets to order him around all he wants. For now that's their play. Jesper pushes him back and out of him, but only for a second so he can hurriedly turn around and lean over on the table, his legs spread and his ass high for Kell to take again. He even wiggles it at him playfully in clear invitation. Kell can see that his come is even dripping out of Jesper a little, intentionally left there to entertain him.

"Again, love, I need it. I'm only happy when you're inside me."

It's a little murky to decided who orders who around here. Kell is saying all the bold words, but he also didn't have a single idea of his own, only following whatever wishes Jesper wants to lure him into. Which is fine. Of them two Jesper, is the one with experience. So Kell is quite happy to just act on whatever whim Jesper chooses to express, safe in the knowledge that it will prove very pleasurable for them both. His lack of experience turns quite beneficial, as he has no expectations and no preconceived notion of what either of their roles should be, or who gets to say or do what. Not knowing there can be rules, he's open to any experience that is fun for both of them. He doesn't have problem with Jesper steering their play in directions he wants. This is as much a learning experience with Jesper leading him through it so he can figure out which parts he likes most. All the while Kell continues to mistreat his body in all the wonderful ways possible.

It's no different with the current demand. As soon as Jesper asks him to pause, Kell complies. Whatever are Jesper plans for them, he's sure they're going to be worth slight disappointment at being told to wait. He watches Jesper slide off the table, turn around swiftly, and lean on it with his back to Kell and his pretty ass high in the air. The little wiggle he makes causes Kell to swallow hard. Saints, this man is going to ruin him. All Jesper has to do to make Kell loose him damned mind is shake that pretty ass at him. There's no single thought left after such a display, only hunger. This is Horizon so everything is intentional, down to the smallest details like the streak of come dripping out of Jesper's ass, slithering slowly down his inner thigh. Kell groans. Saints, that's hot!

"What a lovely sight you make all spread out like that for me."

He steps back in, grabs Jesper's perfect ass with both hands, his grip firm enough to bruise. Lets go only to slap him hard. Once, twice. Obscene moans rolling off his tongue as he does. As if there was any lingering doubt to how much this turns him on. As if he wasn't hard already. Then hits once more just to feel Jesper's skin heat under the palm of his hand when he strikes him.

"Now, you're ready to take it."

Kell reaches out to grab a fistful of Jesper's hair and pulls, down to get a hold of his desperately full cock. Only then he rams into him, buries himself in Jesper's ass all the way up to his balls in one, brutal strike.
His own first orgasm surprised him. Too fast, too selfish. Kell didn't get a chance to properly pay attention to Jesper's pleasure. So now, it's is all about Jesper. Kell sets the rhythm of his thrusts to match the movement of his hand on Jesper's cock. Ever so slightly correcting his angle until he can feel it in the reactions of Jesper's body underneath him that he hits the right spot each time he spears him. The pace is relentless, with barely a space to breath under the constant onslaught. It's meant to be. He wants to overwhelm Jesper with pleasure, flood his mind with it so there will be no space left for any lingering thought. No fears, no worries, no trouble. Nothing. Only Kell's cock nailing him time and time again while pounds him into the table.

Edited 2023-04-30 14:08 (UTC)

Jesper's confidence and experience will guide them through this with ease. Kell is remarkably good at following these subtle orders, hearing what he's saying and reacting to it accordingly, and his eagerness is an aphrodisiac in itself. He's needed this. That is why Kell is the obvious choice when there is one, because no one else does he feel entirely comfortable with asking this from. Their interests lined up. He's had a rough mental few months, being fucked thoroughly will help.

When Kell spanks him he groans so loudly people in the next domain can probably hear him. Jesper grits his teeth and wiggles his ass at him again, physically demanding more. He's glad that he introduced this into their play last time because this touch of pain when he's so hard is priceless. "Yes, give it to me, I've been good." So far he's been good at least.

The grip on his hair causes his head to jerk back and it causes a graceful dip in his back with his ass up high and his hair forcing him into that angle. Which is exactly what he wanted. He pants as Kell takes advantage of him and touches him, but he cries out when he hits his prostate head on. Jesper is a wild desperate thing after that, whimpering and pushing back into Kell's thrusts, needing more.

Kell relentlessly gives it to him and the sensation is far beyond what he can handle. He has to save his breath to suck in air between moans so he can't give his dirty talk, just pushing his cock into Kell's hand until he gets overwhelmed. He comes with a shout, oversensitive but still pushing into that touch to wring out every drop.

"Thank you, Kell." He whispers as he settles into that beautiful state of bliss and he smiles, letting Kell continue to pound him into a second release if he wants. "Honey, I could fuck you all day here, but I want you inside my cabin. You promised to desecrate all of it." He's been dreaming about that.

Kell fucks Jesper through his orgasm, loving every moment of the incoherent mess that Jesper descends into right before he comes. So tight strung, all breathless desperation, too far gone even for words. He fucks him all the way into his own second orgasm. Only then he lets them both catch a breath. Kell releases Jesper's hair, letting him ease the uncomfortable bend of his spine into something more bearable, but keeps his cock stuffed in his ass even when he lets himself go limp inside of him. Laughs when Jesper reminds him of his promise.

"Funny that you mention it now."

Kell pulls out, not without regret, he'd rather have another round, but a vision of moving somewhere new and maybe even a bit more comfortable is enticing enough to overcome his resistance. He yanks Jesper to his feet unceremoniously, turns him around so he can lock them in a greedy kiss.

"You're so good at reading my wishes, pretty thing. I was just about to ask you to give me a tour."

Jesper feels incredible already, sucking in deep breaths of air, smiling deliriously. He does whimper when Kell eventually does pull out, as if he can't bear the thought of it, but they have good reasons. And it won't be long. He laughs as Kell pulls him up and moves him around with such authority; what a quick learner. He smiles into the greedy kiss and lets his hands hungrily move all over his body. It's dangerous, it's possibly headed toward him just jumping on top of him again at this rate.

He gets it together though and kisses him again, sucking on his bottom lip and then biting it sharply. Jesper takes his hand and tugs him toward the cabin, quickly before either of them get distracted again. Their clothes can be left there or just disappeared at this point, they don't matter. Jesper uses his telekinesis to pick up the cane and whip that Kell brought with him, they probably are being used later, so he wants to keep them nearby. Such a helpful lover!

The door opens to allow them in, and it's very nice on the inside. More polished bright wood, there seems to be an endless amount of sunshine, like Jesper prefers it that way. And he does look forward to seeing Kell's body very clearly, unlike that night when it was mostly about touching. There is a television and game console, a nice couch, a music room to the side, and the bedroom. It's a simple but very cozy and pleasant sort of place.

It strangely smells a little of waffles, something light and fluffy in the air. Once he pulls Kell inside though, dropping the cane and whip to the side, he shoves him up against the closed door and gets right into his space again. He bites and kisses his way down his body, starting off their exploration of the house the right way by getting to his knees.

"I definitely don't have a gag reflex in here, you can be as rough as you want." Jesper already likes getting his face fucked until his throat is raw, but the Horizon makes it even easier and less concerned with damage. What small reserve Kell might have had to any of the sex they had in the real world doesn't have to matter in the slightest in the Horizon. He can't break Jesper's body or truly hurt him, outside of how they like.

Jesper puts a hand on him and jerks him aggressively, not wanting to waste any time until he can get him into his mouth. As soon as he's hardening again he greedily does exactly that, holding him at the base and sucking his entire length down his throat. His hands clench down on Kell's ass and tug him forward.

Kell has made the whip and cane parts of his outfit mainly as decorations. He had no particular use for them in mind, but when Jesper decides to take both items with them into the cabin leaving the pile of their discarded clothes behind, Kell reasons it's because he expects them to be used. So now it's on Kell to figure out how.

Is it influence of his present company, or was he always this filthy? Just never had a good chance to express it? Kell only needs to start thinking about it for his mind to helpfully supply an image of Jesper, his hands bound high over his head, sucking his cock while being mercilessly flogged with the whip until his gorgeous, dark skin is all stained from the hits, then fucked with the whip's handle. Kell made the thing conveniently just the right shape and size in hard, polished ivory with delicate ribbing on all it's length. Warm to the touch as ivory always is. Perfect for this purpose.

He doesn't get to suggest any of it. The moment they cross the cabin's entrance Jesper's throws him at the closed door. Tongue and teeth marking his way down Kell's body as he sinks to his knees, jerks him off just enough so he can swallow him whole. Kell's reaction to that sudden, though not unexpected, attack is a string of loud moans. Saints, it feels so good. His hip buckle forward burying him deeper into Jesper's eager mouth.

"So greedy, I like that," he growls. Reaches down with both hands to find a secure grip in Jesper's hair, so he can hold his head steady while he fucks his mouth exactly as Jesper likes it, rough and merciless. He doesn't stop until he's just about to come. It's third time in such a quick succession. Truly Horizon is marvelous place.

In his barely coherent state Kell finally has an idea. How to ask Jesper if he'd like to whipped without having to drop his act to ask directly.

"You are going to swallow all I am to give you. Don't you dare to loose even a drop, or I am going to flog you so hard, you'll regret not doing better when I told you to."

All Jesper has to do if he wants to be whipped is disobey. Kell would be most comfortable if Jesper outright told him he wants it so there was no doubt about it. Or helped him find a way to ask without ruining the mood. He wants Jesper to suffer, but only in a pleasant way. He'd never want to cross the line into actual hurt.

He slowly realizes he doesn't now how to tell the difference. And it's a major issue. Safe words aside, Kell wants to know how Jesper looks and sounds when he's put through delicious anguish, and how he does when it's better for Kell to stop. Even before any safe word is used.

Because he knows what he wants to do to Jesper if he disobeys. He wants to throw him to the floor, yell at him and flog him. He has the whole scene in his mind. In vivid detail. But how can he tell if Jesper will enjoy it? They were up to such a good start outside at the table. He doesn't want to grind this all to a halt to have A Discussion. Jesper is so hot and confident that as much as he adores those qualities in him they make Kell feel his lack of experience viscerally. What they have is wicked and beautiful. He desperately doesn't want to fuck this up.

Jesper loves going down on anyone, it usually is his go-to move right away, because he enjoys pleasing others and it's really good foreplay to get everyone in the mood. It's clear how much he wants it, he sucks and bobs his head and is no passive person underneath Kell's aggressive assault. He craves this. He moans and whimpers around him, even intentionally letting himself be choked at one point so Kell can feel him spasm around him and keep sucking him anyway. That's how much he thirsts for him. It's for fun, he's under full control of his body.

He brought in the cane and whip very blatantly in acceptance of what Kell's darker impulses are. He's not afraid. The only concern is that Kell is so new to this, which is why he considers before his reaction to the demand. He knows that Kell is trying to ask him while making it part of their play, and normally he'd simply roll with it, but they probably should check in. No harm in that.

Jesper pulls his mouth off him and gets to his feet, getting a hand on him to jerk him slowly so he doesn't have to go blue balls immediately. He kisses Kell then, sloppy and with the taste of his own precome on his tongue, before pulling back. "I want that, love, but let's make sure we know what we want. Communication is sexy too. " He wants Kell to know that his desires are welcome but they really do have to talk for something so serious. If Kell was experienced at this he wouldn't question it, but he's an eager somewhat innocent to the kink.

He keeps Kell pinned against the door though. "Let me take care of this first, yeah? Don't want my pretty redhead to worry about coming. Choke me with your cock and come, and then we'll talk about what you want to do to me today." Jesper kisses him gently and then gets back on his knees to pull Kell forcefully by the ass back into his hungry mouth. May as well get him to finish so the third orgasm can settle nicely over him while they sit and talk over specifics.

The moment Kell says the words, he instantly regrets them. He wants to take them back, hearing himself say them fills him with dread. It sounded better in his head, but ... no, even then it didn't. He was trying to guess what he should do, instead of following the clues Jesper leaves for him. That's how he fucks things up. Trying to fake competence, pretend he knows what's he's doing when he clearly does not.

Again, it is Jesper who does just the right thing. Is it because he noticed Kell's reaction even before it dawned on Kell himself? Saw him go pale the moment he realized he's gone too far? Or merely has seen people fumble at this new strange thing enough times to be able to foresee what comes next and prevent the meltdown from happening? It really doesn't matter. What matters are the kisses, both the deliciously sloppy and the gentle one, that feel oddly comforting comparing to what they were just doing, and yet they're just the thing Kell needs to stop him from spiraling into full blown panic. Then there's Jesper's hungry mouth on him to free him from all thought.

"Yes. Please. I need you."

Kell doesn't care he sounds like a kicked puppy. He so desperately wants it to work, and so thoroughly doesn't know how to make it. It's all too new and too strong. He needs all the guidance he can get. Please help him.

Jesper's just very experienced, and he's excellent at reading other people. He's very empathic and understanding. He uses his skilled mouth and tongue to get Kell off again, and once he does in fact drink every drop without spilling, he gets up again. "Come with me, sweetheart." He pulls him over toward the couch first, leaving the bed for the next part of this.

They're both naked as the day they were born and he lounges comfortably, putting an arm around Kell once he tugs him down. Showing him constant attention so he knows there is no negativity here and that Jesper wants him to be close. He kisses him slow and tender, a stark contrast to their intensity. There is true affection in their sex, he wants that to be clear. All of this requires trust.

"Okay sweetheart. I suspect while you've fantasized about what you want, you haven't actually done it before. Which I don't mind, I love that I'm being your guide into this level of kink. But it is incredibly important in this situation to communicate. We can enjoy more sexual talk once we get started, but first let's just get some information."

Jesper doesn't worry that it becomes less sexy because they talk about it in more direct terms first. Once they actually get involved in sex, anything they say will be inherently hot. It's not a concern. What's sexy is both of them feeling good and on the same page. That's what he wants Kell to feel here. He isn't there yet, he is still struggling to find the words. He runs his hand soothingly through Kell's red hair.

"What I was told the first time I started playing with bondage and all this was that if I can't talk about it, I shouldn't be doing it." He's hoping that explaining he went through this entire thing himself will make Kell feel better about it. Jesper was new to everything once upon a time too. And while he's always been a lot more comfortable talking about sex, it doesn't mean he just naturally knew all these things. Sexual partners have to be on the same wavelength to do this in a healthy way.

"What do you want to do?" He smiles at him. "If you want to say it sexy you can, just say it." Meaning if Kell feels better using his dominant tone to get the message across he is allowed to do that. Whatever it takes.

Kell's frayed nerves smooth easily under Jesper's skilled mouth and tongue giving him blinding pleasure. He pants and moans all the way up into mind-blanking orgasm, his third this night. If they were going for the record the previous time, Kell would suspect - if he had attention to spare on idle musings like that - that Jesper is determined to beat it now. He lets Jesper to lead him to the couch, guide him down so he could wrap him in his arms. Showering him with affections and sweet kisses, as slow and tender as they are fiery. Caring and attentive, as if he was trying to tame some wild and skittish creature. That's not even far from the truth.

Kell was always painfully aware he's the odd one out. It weren't only his mismatched eyes that singled him out. It wasn't only being the only chalk-colored kid among all those beautiful dark-skinned people. It wasn't only that in contrast to Rhy he always looked like under cooked pastry, always too thin, all bones and no muscle, always a little sick. It wasn't that the Sun did not deepen the color of his skin like it did for Rhy. It scalded him. All those things stung, but he could live with them.

It was in the way the two of them engaged with people where true differences showed up. Kell never had Rhy's effortless ease for making connections. Nor his talent for languages, or ability to always know what to say and when to make the other person feel like they've just won a tournament simply by existing in the same physical space as Rhy. He was quiet, all too serious, masking his shyness with a brooding look and perpetual scowl.

It translated to all sorts of engagements. Some of them sexual. For Rhy, flirting was as easy as breathing. For Kell, it was anything but. They were both horny teenagers, heck, that didn't change even as they grew up. But it was easier for Kell to channel all this pent up energy into magic training. Something he was rewarded for anyway. Something he liked doing. Something he knew he excelled at.

So he spent more and more time away from parties and other social occasions. Going only if forced or if Rhy dragged him. And while everyone around was having a great time, and possibly great sex, he was always the brooding presence in the background. Only getting it when the person he ended in bed with was brave enough to approach the scary Black-Eyed Prince.

Most often not even falling for him, but the idea of him. This pale, exotic, fiery-haired demon, a dangerous enigma of immense power, blessed by magic, capable of crushing them under his thumb if they slipped. Kell quite liked this persona. At least it had some kernel of truth in it. He is a being of immense power, and he likes idea of crushing people under his thumb. Metaphorically. But eventually, it was just another mirage, a mask he wore to shield himself from the world.

So whenever any of his rare dalliances ended in disappointment he told himself this was the reason. That they really didn't know him. Not his fault, not his lack experience or communication skills. But then you can't really rake up experience if all you do is scare people away. It dragged him down on those rare occasions that it was him wanting someone. A dead weight, pushing him to act more desperate. All or nothing with no center. Always a walking explosion waiting to happen, a feral creature, all spiky but starved for touch.

It's the same quiet desperation that runs him now. The want, the need to make things work with Jesper. But this time, this time it melts under Jesper's expert fingers and mouth, his understanding and comforting presence. It's so much more sexy this way.

"I didn't, haven't done anything like that before."

It's Jesper gentle guidance that makes Kell feel safe enough, accepted enough, that he can admit to his lack of experience. Own the fact that he's fumbling his way through this without knowing or understanding much. Only that prevents him from clamming up and just running away pretending nothing has happened. Then avoiding Jesper for the next few months.
Instead he looks up straight into his eyes. Those beautiful, shining, silver eyes that look as if they were made of seawater, borrowing their color from the dark, immeasurable depths, vast and open. That light up into pure moonlight whenever Jesper is turned on and close to coming. Kell could spent half an eternity just staring into them. Lost, entranced and very content in his captivity.

"I want," he starts that startles himself into a pause.

So rare were the chances when he could say those words. He was rarely allowed wants. Even rarer were the instances when he could actually get what he wanted.

"I want to have sex with you here, on the bed, on the table, against the wall. In every possible place we can use for that. I want to tie you to the bed and bring you so close to orgasm that you can taste it, and then withhold it from you. Keep it away until you beg me to give it to you. I want to find ways to torment you that will give you pleasure, right after I caused you pain. I want you to crawl on the floor begging me to fill you with my come. To scream my name when I fuck you, fast and rough. I want so many things I don't even know how to explain. Only that I want them."

Having spilled his desperate litany of need, Kell buries his face in the crook of Jesper's neck. To hide away from any judgement or ridicule into comforting rhythm of Jesper's pulse under his lips when he presses them to his skin. His scent, his warmth, soothing and comforting when he's still shaking from finally having said all that was on his mind from the first time they met.

[ooc: this tag has a soundtrack]

Jesper's intimately close with desire because he's always been desired. As soon as he started developing into awareness about attractive men and women all around him, his confidence and open interest made it very easy for people to crave his attention. His lack of shame also gave him plenty of leeway to shrug and try new things. Wylan once described him as someone who "exudes pleasure" and it's true on many levels. He wants life to be fun and interesting and he's open to anything that will help him feel that way.

Because of that ease he has, he can see clearly when someone else is being held back or blocked for one reason or another. It happened their first night together when Kell abruptly seemed to shut off after a question he thought was sexy, and it alerted him to be gentler with him. Not during sex, they aren't gentle at that, but mentally and emotionally. This is someone who hasn't been handled with compassion or given the opportunity to explore themselves. He sees that now too in Kell's struggle.

He keeps trying physical ways to keep Kell grounded. A hand through his hair, down his back, always touching him, always making certain he feels connected. Kell's unique eyes were one of the first things he pointed out, but his reaction had been so negative he hasn't said a word about them since. But they are truly beautiful. Jesper caresses his cheek when he starts to explain what he wants, and he listens, gray eyes fixed on him, nodding to indicate not only that he's listening, but that he wants everything Kell is saying.

"Oh you sweet thing, come here." Jesper smiles when he hides his face into his neck and he holds him. It probably sounds insane to call him sweet after what he just confessed to, but it is sweet to him, that he's pouring out his heart. And shy about it. So cute. He adores him. Jesper kisses his hair and simply keeps his arms around him to give that comfort he may be seeking. "Thank you for being honest, Kell, and I want to give you all those things too."

He tips Kell's chin up and steals a nice long lingering kiss, not pushing it straight into passion since that's distracting, it is more of a reward. A reassurance that he is still here. He smiles at him afterward. "Since you're new to the flogger, let me make some suggestions. You can strike pretty hard on places with extra padding like when you spank me." Jesper has a nicely padded ass, basically. "Back and shoulders are fine too, no on anywhere near my cock and balls, even an experienced person could get those wrong."

It's not that it's impossible, it's more that it takes skill, and Kell is new. "Obviously you can do anything in here and it's fine, but I assume we're going to meet up in person again some day to test all this out again, so just telling you now." Especially because having more freedom in here could make someone think their blows are less serious since there's no lingering problem.

Jesper smiles and pushes Kell's shoulder and then slides smoothly on top of him. He rubs himself down against his cock, inspiring him back into hardness again. The couch in this position is nice because they can stay close enough to kiss while he rides him, and that's exactly what he plans on doing.

"Fuck me just like this first, and then we'll slip into some bondage on the bed and see where it goes from there." No need to plan it. They get to do whatever they want with their bodies.

Fun is something that Kell needs to learn and Jesper is an expert teacher. He's open to so many things that makes Kell more willing to try, to admit, to explore even those feelings and wants that scare him. It's only because Jesper is who he is that Kell is able to tell him his darkest fantasies. He loves being called sweet after the torrent of filth that just left his mouth. He revels in the gentle kisses and being held like something delicate and precious while Jesper calmly explains to him where exactly he should hit him and how. Melts into the long kiss that feels all soft and gentle, but leaves Kell trembling with hunger, every cell in his body vibrating with lust.

When Jesper mounts him and grinds his ass against him, it tears a long obscene moan from his lips. Saints, it feels so good. Kell doesn't need encouragement to grab his hips, lift him up, line his hard cock with Jesper's entrance and shove it all inside him in one, powerful thrust. He will let Jesper take over, but the first move belongs to him.

"I really like it when you ask me to fuck you."

Kell falls down on Jesper to crush his lips in a ravenous kiss, forcing his tongue into his mouth before he even has a chance to let him in. He wants to keep devouring him all the way until they both come, breaking the kiss only when their lungs scream for air. Let him set up the pace, ride him the way he wants to, as fast or slow as he wants it. But Kell is not passive either, he thrusts up when Jesper does down, slides a hand between them to squeeze and stroke his length, caress his balls.

Edited (repetition is the death of me) 2023-05-07 19:24 (UTC)

Jesper feels that kindness and affection really do need to happen to make this work with someone new to the dark side of sex. Some day in the future if Kell decides to play with someone else, he'll have a much firmer sense of himself and be comfortable with his needs. Jesper will get him to that point, he has faith. The way he reacts so well to the gentleness reassures him that Kell needs a little sweetness in these moments in between, and Jesper doesn't mind giving it to him. Quite the opposite. He's actually very sweet with his lovers and always has been. It just also will include Kell tying him up and spanking him.

Jesper purposely teases him so he would pull him down and enter him again, and he groans in pleasure, sitting on him entirely. He is full to the brim with Kell and he loves it. He returns the wild kiss and sets an even wilder pace. He is fast and thorough, every time he comes down filling himself to the hilt, with an occasional shallow thrust down to squeeze around his head on purpose.

His hand dives into Kell's red hair and jerks his head back. He rides him harder and holds his head there so he can descend onto his neck, biting hard, sucking marks into his skin. He feels the tension in himself as the pleasure rises, nuzzling his nose into Kell's ear. "Fuck me," he whispers, filthy and low. "I've kept all your come in me. Didn't think it away. I want to be stuffed full." Jesper smiles, every word like honey as his body continues to move against him.

His breath hitches as his riding pushes his cock into Kell's hand over and over, biting his earlobe. "This time I want you all over me." Jesper abruptly pulls off Kell, no doubt to his disappointment, but he doesn't waste time before leaning back and aiming Kell's cock right at his dark slender body. He strokes them both through it quickly and efficiently. "Make me filthy." He plans on coming with Kell this time so he can really get dirty with both of them stained on him.

Kell is going to be so good at it once he learns and starts to trust himself more. When he's not catching himself mid-reaction self-conscious, he's a natural. Leans into Jesper's aggression with more than matching enthusiasm. For now, as rough and brutal their sex is, Kell needs the gentle guidance Jesper is giving him. He needs the sweetness to balance the fear that he's an awful person for having such wants. Need to be reminded that his special brand of cruelty is a rare talent. That is a much needed gift to a mind too burdened and battered by the outside world. One that needs this contained space, a single, sharp point of focus, a respite from the onslaught, a retreat. It needs to be shaken out of its spiral by something too intense too ignore. This is exactly what Kell is able to provide. His attention is undivided, but he needs to learn to own and take pride in it. For that to happen, he needs space to fail, to fumble his steps, to feel out the edges of his cruelty, and learn what reactions it causes. His luck, and the luck of all of his future partners, is that he is in such good hands. He couldn't have truly have chosen a better person to introduce him to this dark and beautiful world.

A steady stream of loud moans and gasps flows from Kell's lips unhindered in response to the relentless assault on his neck. Every time Jesper sinks his teeth into his skin, Kell thrust his hips up with a cry of pleasure. Falling back on the couch when Jesper makes himself lift, only to impale himself even deeper when he goes down again.

"Rude," Kell growls when Jesper suddenly pulls off instead of taking him in like he did. His hands move over Jesper's hips, fingers dig into the flesh. He grips hard, but it's as much to cause pain, as to support Jesper when he leans back and takes them both in his skilled hands. Safe in the knowledge that even inundated with pleasure as he's, Kell will keep them steady.

"I am going to punish you so bad for it later, but first..." Kell shivers. One move and he's going to erupt all over them both., but he doesn't want it. Not yet. He want to them to come together. Jesper's expert fingers make breathing, let alone speaking hard. They make many things very, very hard. Kell laughs, a dark, cruel laughter. This is beautiful.

"I am going to make you so filthy. I know you like it, dirty little thing. I know you want me to cover you whole in my come. But worry not, I'm generous, I am going to drench you in it."

He barely gets to end his threat promise when all of Jesper's hard work pays off and it goes just like he said. It's Horizon so delirious with pleasure crushing into him like a great wave, Kell still retains some control over how much he shoots all over both of them, and when. They do get to come together just like he wanted. Kell feels Jesper's orgasm shake his slender body, mirrored by his own. For a brief moment, all else seems to cease to exist. There are only them and their shared ecstasy. Kell come out of it all heaving breaths and trembling limbs, like a diver coming up for air. Moans, lust stoking heat in him all anew, when he sees what state he left Jesper in. Leans forward with a groan, pressing his cheek to Jesper's chest, his gorgeous dark skin all sweaty and sticky, smearing their come all over him.

"Unbelievable how delicious you look debauched like that," Kell purrs. "I need to do this to you more often."

In truth that first night Jesper should have been slightly more careful once he realized it was new to Kell, mostly out of respect for both of them, but it turned out to work fine. He is a risk-taker and it could have gone poorly, but they did keep themselves somewhat on the line. There was magical sex play, spanking, and tying up, but those were all within safe boundaries. He probably would have paused them if they went darker then, just as he did today. That was a taste.

Kell is practically glowing under the support of someone allowing him to dig deep into himself and enjoy the darkness. He is coming out of his shell and it is beautiful to watch. He laughs when Kell calls him rude, laughing even in the midst of their darkness because there are no rules, it never has to be all one thing or all the other. He can be tender while being rough because anything goes when you're with a partner you can trust.

"That's right, sweetheart, give me all that you've got." Jesper prepares himself for it and he is not disappointed as Kell covers them both with it, his own skin damp now with it. The orgasm is fantastic but the lasting feeling of being dirty like this makes him just as continuously pleased. He smiles when Kell leans into him like that. He really is going all in now that he's been given permission to follow his whims and desires.

Jesper pulls Kell's head back and licks the side of his face where he's gotten himself sticky with their come. He licks all of it up like it is a fantastic meal and kisses his cheek afterward. Something dirty, something sweet. "Baby you can do it any time you want. We may need to make sure to have a lot of damp towels around if it's in person though." They'll have to take a lot of extra steps when in person because of how much more of a headache this stuff can be, but it's all worth it in the end. And they'll always have here.

He kisses Kell again, the taste of both of them on his tongue, and he presses in close to him so Kell can feel the wetness dripping on him as he wants. Afterward he stands up though, purposely unsteady on his feet because he makes himself feel the ache of being fucked thoroughly multiple times. He winks at Kell and moves over to the bed just as he promised, waving a hand and multiple types of ties show up. Some silky fabric to tie up, handcuffs both fuzzy and normal, they both know they can also create it using their magic. He has a spreader on there too in case it appeals to lock him up in more than one way.

He drops himself back on the bed and very purposely stretches out on it, his long limbs on full display, that pretty skin of his still damp with come, knowing how debauched and sexy he looks this way. "I want you to do horrible things to me, Kell, come on." Jesper knows how to get this started by deliberately provoking Kell, reaching down to start stroking himself, as if he doesn't need him.

It's easier when he doesn't think about it. Just goes with the instinct of what feels right. But it's also like falling in blind. Kell doesn't want to go blind into whatever that is that they are having. He wants to go in with his eyes open. Aware and focused. Because this is as beautiful as it is scary, he doesn't want to miss any of it. He has no frame of reference, nothing to hold this feeling against to compare. He doesn't even have words for it. Those that he does, he learned from Jesper. Either from their first time or now. But it's alright. Whatever magic is involved in the way Jesper shows him things, it doesn't feel like instruction. More like exploration. As if Jesper wasn't teaching him things, but merely showing him a fascinating landscape that he enjoys and wants to share with him. It's so odd, but odd in a way that all things new and wonderful are.

Kell wants to do to him everything they did on their first night, and more. He soaks Jesper's laughter, shivers when Jesper licks his face clean then kisses his cheek. There's something irresistibly scandalous in the contradiction in his actions and Kell loves it. He wants more of it. The sweet, the sensual, the utterly defiled. The promise makes him laugh in turn.

"I think that can be arranged."

Horizon is all great, with endless possibilities, but Kell would love to repeat it in person, if only to feel the difference if there's any.In the waking world, as he tends to call it. That's something to remember for later time. He can't get distracted from what's in front of him by thinking about future, when the present is such a feast for the eyes. Not only the eyes. Kell licks his lips, bites his lower lip, watching Jesper stroll to the bed a little wobbly on his feet. As if he was adjusting for the discomfort of having been fucked so hard, so many times. The display only makes Kell want to fuck him more. Which is, quite obviously, the intended effect. Whatever Jesper wants of him, he never fails to achieve it. It might seem as if Kell was the one charge, but it still is Jesper holding the reigns. Which makes sense given he's the one with skill and experience here.

The way he walks, the way he spreads himself on the bed like a marvelous buffet, ready for Kell to devour. All this is intentional, and it's so damned effective that Kell almost misses the various implements that Jesper magics into existence for them to play with.

"Oh, I will. Don't you worry. I am planning to utterly ruin you."

Kell moves to the bed. He crawls all over Jesper on his hands and knees so he can hover over him. One move and he would crush him into the matress. So close and yet. He swats at Jesper's wrist, gently almost playfully, careful not to strike his cock. There was a clear no there and Kell remembers it well. He wants it to be in perfect condition for what he plans for Jesper. Full, wanting and untouched.

"Don't." he warns with a lewd smile. "This is my toy to play with. Besides I have better use for your hands."

He might have paid more attention to Jesper's naked body than all the implements Jesper materialized on the bed, but it doesn't matter he failed to notice them completely. There's a pair of handcuffs that would look especially pretty locked on Jesper's wrists. Like jewellery. A very special jewellery. Kell realizes he likes his instruments of torment to be pretty shining things. A ring, a pair of bracelets. Jesper is already gorgeous, he needs no adornment, but streaks of silver look so good against his dark skin Kell can't resist putting something like that on him.

Jesper can see how right after what Kell just experienced, he could probably especially use some outlet. At the execution they were both in a tense feeling, watching a woman die horrifically, but it wasn't going to heal the inner damage. Sex might not either, but it will definitely make them feel better. It's a fantastic distraction.

He looks at Kell as he seductively moves to the bed, smiling as he sees his own purposely appealing posture worked immediately. Jesper is walking temptation, but he likes seeing Kell's face as he is instantly seduced, and the hunger in his eyes. "You are so beautiful," he tells him sincerely. A genuine compliment within a debauched situation, but Jesper always walks lines between pure sex and romanticism. And he never worries about it. He does what he wants, how he feels. He's a creature of sensation and impulse.

Jesper follows his command and immediately gets hard from the implication of putting restraints on him. Kell already knew that he liked it, but he's excited to have something more formal. He licks his lips and puts his arms up over his head, his wrists presented to Kell in a submissive pose for him to use what he wants. He does look very good in silver. He can handcuff his hands together or to the bed itself, there are obvious places he can. This is Jesper's room and bed, obviously he'd create them in a way that kink would be encouraged.

"Please, baby. Do you want me to turn on my front? Just move me where you want me, I'll do anything for you." He can cuff his hands at his back and flog him from there if he wants. Now that they've talked Jesper feels confident that Kell can freely choose as he wants and get out his desires. He knows he has power over Jesper but that Jesper will stop things if he wants to at any time. There is trust here in this bed even if they do not entirely know one another outside of it. Some day maybe they will.

Kell doesn't deign to comment on the needy plea. Instead, he falls down to devour Jesper's lips. Intense and bruising, it never fails to send scorching heat down to his groin.

"How nice of you to offer such helpful suggestions, but do not think I forgot how rude you were before."

It doesn't take much to reach for the handcuffs, close them on Jesper's wrists, and attach the chain to the secure spot over his head then leans away to admire his work.

"You look so pretty with those bracelets on."

There's one more thing to do to make it perfect. Kell catches the key for handcuffs, still in the lock, with his teeth pulling it out, then moves up to drop it into Jesper's hand, closing his fingers over the metal. He bites his wrist lightly to make a point.

"Hold on to this. Just don't try to unlock yourself."

This is fully intentional temptation. Kell will always give Jesper occasions to misbehave only so he can punish him. It feels so weird that he makes up those rules only so Jesper can break them. He wants Jesper to break them so he could then punish him for those imaginary transgressions. It does make him wonder if Jesper enjoys it at least as much he does.

"Turn around. On your knees, ass high."

It demands some creative wiggling on Jesper's part, now that he's chained to the headboard, but they're both young, agile and in a place that makes even more implausible physical feats possible. Kell doesn't have to wait long for Jesper to follow his command.

The sight almost makes him change his mind. Jeper's bare back, the line of his spine drawing Kell's gaze down to his ass now on full display. The urge to grab Jesper by his hips and just ram into him wells up, threatening to override whatever devious plan Kell had had before. He swallows hard, short of fully giving into the temptation, moves to kneel behind Jesper dragging his hands down Jesper's sides to grope his ass and press his own hardness against Jesper's all too inviting hole. He can't help but let a small moan slip.

"I could take you right now, but it would be a reward for your misbehavior not a punishment."

Saints, it's impossible how much he wants to do just that...

It won't be a long wait this time. Deprivation is fun, but tonight Kell wants to overwhelm both of them. Flood their minds with sensations so intense there will no place left for the memories of the horrors he's so desperately trying to run from. Jesper surely has a share of his own. Kell needed one look at him at the execution to know exactly that. And Horizon is the perfect place to forget. It's all in their heads, yes, but that's exactly the point. A different kind of healing can take place here. Such, that would not be possible anywhere outside of it. Not without causing a damage of its own.

Most often relief from pain is enough for healing of the body to start, but pain can also be a point of focus for a troubled mind. It's something Kell just starts to discover. Theirs have been very troubled lately. Kell's even more troubled after the execution that, in part, was supposed to work as reassurance, but ended only shattering his sense of safety further. Shaking what little control he was able to rebuild after returning to Thorne.

Kell calls for the flogger and it falls into his hand as naturally as if it was made for it. He starts to caress to Jesper's thighs and ass with soft, suede strands. Takes his time to fully get a feel how it is to handle this particular instrument of pain and pleasure. Only when he feels secure in his grip and control over it, is when he slides back allowing himself enough space to move. The strands are soft to the touch, but when swung they land on Jesper's thigh with a satisfying thwack, darkening the skin where it hit. Whatever was his plan, at the fourth lash Kell is all done. His mouth is parched, eyes wide, heart thumping, gasping for air like a drowning man. He's shivering, every nerve on fire, both dizzy with never before experienced type of pleasure and acutely aware of every single detail. Sight, sound, scent. Mad and blinded with lust.

He drops the flogger, crawls forward, then fucks into Jesper until they're both spent and panting, doesn't pull out even after that. Kell knows Jesper likes to be stuffed full long after the orgasm has rolled over both of them. That, and it would require him to move. He can't. Not before he calms his breath and gets his heart from trying to break free from his chest.

"How are you so irresistible..." he whispers, lips pressed to the back of Jesper's neck. "The more I fuck you, the more I end wanting to fuck you again."

Jesper can finagle his way to his knees because he can simply make the handcuffs move with his body. They're in the Horizon but he can also do this with real handcuffs since they're made of matter like everything he can manipulate. But there is something he particularly enjoys about this position. Jesper likes feeling helpless or on display, he gets off on being submissive and treated as a body to use. His eagerness is clear.

He takes the key and plans on using it eventually to be a bad boy, as they both know is necessary eventually, but this time around he is happy to be at Kell's mercy and do what he wants. Jesper smirks when Kell says he could take him but it wouldn't be a punishment, and he knows how tempted he is anyway, with Jesper looking like that. He probably could push him by begging and shaking his ass at him just right, but Kell wanted to try the flogger and he said he could.

He sucks in a breath when he first feels the suede touch of the flogger and he shivers all over, the gentle touch of it all the more enticing when he knows it will turn harsh soon. The first whack has the breath knock out of him and Jesper cries out only for it to turn into a desperate moan. The pain is exquisite and distracting and he hardens to the point of agony too. The skin bruises because he wants it to, the sting settling onto his skin. "Yes, Kell, punish me, make me be good."

He manages to get that out before Kell hits him again and by the fourth one he is a mess too, gasping, his heart racing, precum spread out on the bed as he jerks forward and gets only more turned on. Jesper can't form the words to beg and then Kell is thrusting harshly inside of him and he is only noises and pleasure then. He can't say yes or Kell's name he can only whimper and push back into the agonized need. He comes faster than Kell, tightening around him when he does.

Jesper sighs, the agony of the flogging and sex so perfectly transitioning into a sense of true peace. He hums happily when Kell stays inside of him, he's learning. His hands are still handcuffed to the bed so all he can do is drop his head back to give Kell access to his neck, a silent request for it.

"Because you've wanted this your whole life, Kell, you just didn't know it." This desire has been dug down deep in Kell's subconscious so he couldn't acknowledge it, the embarrassment or shame forced on him. He's been bereft of this relief that he's needed. "Stay in me." Jesper moves off his knees to simply lie down on the bed this way, stretched out again, the marks on his body visible to Kell now.

"Lie down on me, I want to feel your weight pressing me." Jesper enjoys the idea of really being pinned down and fucked into the mattress, but he has another idea to go with that. "And then I want you to fuck me sweet and slow, baby, can you do that? There are many ways to use a body." And sometimes that includes affection.

Kell doesn't always need instruction to do what he does. When the torrent of sensation gave way to languid bliss, he simply follows his instinct. To claim Jesper's exposed neck with kisses, a lot gentler than any they've shared before. Crush him into the mattress with his own weight, not to cause pain, simply to get as much skin contact as he can even when they're still a tangled mess of connected flesh with barely even air between their bodies. Reach to caress every bit of exposed skin his own body does not already cover with light touch. Stillness is not in his nature, but Kell doesn't really want to break it. There's deep seated satisfaction taking root all the way in his bones, weighing him down, making only his hands move. He had never felt like this. He never thought he could.

"Maybe I did know."

There's no embarrassment or shame to fend off. Not in the usual sense. Just a wounded pride, a misplaced sense of his own superiority, jealousy, and a whole lot of anger. His is a culture very permissive in matters of sex. Kell had realized quickly that Thorne is a lot less so. He had to hold his tongue on numerous occasions.
Back home, he hated it. The ease of connection others seemed to have. That he was lacking. That he thought he would never have. That was, for the most part, too dangerous for him. Too frightening to others. He told himself he doesn't need it. That he's better. He's Antari. He's destined for greater things than freely fucking at parties. He's not like them. There has ever been only a single person spared his condemnation. The same one as always.

It didn't mean Kell went fully celibate back home. He was a living, breathing human after all. Quite horny as teenager. But he never allowed himself to be so open as he is with Jesper. For many reasons, not only his stupid pride, but it did not help. It only made him sadder, and angrier.
He's none of it now. He is satisfied, relaxed... who know maybe even happy.

"How dare you read my mind again," Kell laughs, playfully nibbling at Jesper's ear. "You have such a breathtaking beauty, Jesper. I hope people tell you this all the time. They should. You deserve to be adored and cherished. I want to savor you as much as I want to ruin you."

This is only their second meeting, but Kell wants Jesper to truly feel him. Each caress, each kiss. There's desire, yes, but it's no longer only lust... He doesn't know what it is, and in all honesty, he doesn't want to put a name on it. To limit, to fence off this wonderful feeling with words and definitions feels like a crime. A betrayal of the fragile thing that by some unbelievable cosmic coincidence was allowed to exist. It doesn't help that he's very bad at even recognizing his own emotions, let alone naming them. As long as it's not anger, he's lost. He desperately doesn't want to lose this one.

His hands are still bound but he contently exposes more of his neck and throat for Kell to kiss as much as he wants. The man is a natural at adapting from intense to sweet, but he isn't surprised. Kell seems like a very sweet person at his core, beneath the intensity and occasional glimpse of insecurity or uncertainty. Jesper is sometimes seen as unbearably attractive to people because of his confidence, his certainty. He doesn't love himself all of the time, but he knows who he is and what he provides.

He laughs at the nibbling on his ear and sneaks a leg underneath Kell's, using his foot to rub against his ankle as a caress since his hands can't. "They do tell me it all the time, love, but please don't think that means I like to hear it any less." Jesper is like a purring cat when complimented and worn through from sex. "Mmm, let me turn around, actually. You don't need to get out, I'll make it easy." By that he means this is the Horizon, it's nebulous. He can turn, his hands still handcuffed, and turn to face Kell stuffed full of him.

This is so he can lean up and kiss him for real. Not the starving eagerness from outside or every passionate embrace since. This is slow and sweet because Jesper has sex in every way. Graphic, aggressive, romantic. There is no only one way when it comes to him. He kisses Kell like it's the first time, curling a leg around his waist, pressing up toward him, happy to be covered.

"You are beautiful too, Kell." Jesper smiles up at him, nuzzling his nose affectionately. "I'd love to be inside of you some time, if you'd like it." It's not that he doesn't love this. He is literally doing everything he can to have Kell inside of him and stay there. His thirst is unquenched, permanently. But he is so pretty. Jesper is a true switch in every way. He puts no limits on the things he enjoys. "I know you'd be breathtaking on my cock." He nibbles at his jawline.

In Horizon, their bodies move like water, accommodating any wish they might have at the moment. Kell is only slightly surprised by Jesper rearranging them into a position more comfortable for long, sensuous kisses, but he's quick to catch up, slides his hands up Jesper's outstretched arms to link their fingers together just as he sinks into their kiss. He meets Jesper pressing upward by pushing himself even deeper into him, half-hard already. Laughs, a little awkward, at the compliment.

"Mhhmm...I think it will feel fantastic to have you inside me."

With Kell stuffed in him as deep as he possibly could, Jesper is in the best spot to realize, in real time, what Kell thinks of his proposition, to feel him harden just as he utters it.

In clear contrast to almost everything they did up to this point, this is the one thing that Kell knew that he wanted from the very start. He got distracted by all the new and wonderful things, but it doesn't mean the desire for it went away. From the moment their eyes met at the banquet, Kell wanted Jesper to nail him against a wall, or bed, or literally anywhere, and fuck him unconscious. There's no denying that he's very happy with what he's already got. The needs he barely suspected he had, all of them deliciously fulfilled but this one.

"Would you like to try it now?"

It's a gamble, Kell has to break through years of conditioning to be even able to ask this question. To admit to his desire. There is politics in fucking and being fucked when you're royalty. Even if you're royalty in name only. There's even more politics involved when you're supposed to be the power behind the throne, feared and revered. No matter how much he wanted, Kell couldn't risk even a potential loss to his reputation by letting someone of a lower station fuck him into the mattress. It remained unattainable fantasy.
Here? With Jesper? In a place that barely notices his existence? There's no politics to think of, and no fear to stop him from asking.

"But I will need you to be gentle, I've never had anyone do this to me before. I only ever did this to other people," he admits then adds with a wicked smile. "Once we're done with the first time, I might want you to stop being so gentle."

"I can tell you like the idea," Jesper says on a laugh when Kell hardens inside of him hearing that. It had been his original plan too, there was something in those first few moments of flirting that made him think Kell did need to get fucked thoroughly. It ended up this way because Kell was playing with a certain fire for the first time, but both options have always been on the table. It makes a little more sense how skittish Kell was at first, if he's never had anyone fuck him but wanted to. It's fine this is the path they took; more than fine. It's been wonderful.

"Your first, well I am very honored." Jesper is utterly sincere when he says that. He is a fantastic person for someone to have as a first time because his confidence and kindness are endless. He flicks out his wrists and the handcuffs fall off them since this is about to change. "You're going to have to let me open you the old-fashioned way then, so you get used to it. It'll still be your first time when I nail you in person." So he'll have to be gentle and get him comfortable both times, and they might as well practice now.

Jesper reaches up to grip Kell by the ass and squeezes playfully, before turning them over in one very graceful movement. Reluctantly he has to let Kell out of him if they are going to do this. He leans back in to kiss Kell with that same loving lingering way, pressing his lips to his neck, much slower now that he has the opportunity. Their sex has always been intense, but they've just gotten a few rounds out of their system, and this is Kell's first time even if it's in a dream world. Jesper wants it to be nice.

"Your skin is so soft." Jesper nuzzles the dip in his throat and nibbles at his clavicle. "I wanted to get on my knees under the table that first night, you were gorgeous." He is talking now because once his mouth actually gets busy, he won't be able to tell Kell all these true compliments that fall like honey from his tongue right then. His lips move down Kell's torso but he doesn't go fast to his prize, he lingers on his nipples, biting the tight points, sucking hard on each of them.

"I did think about pushing you up against a wall on the deck and fucking you there, but now that I know it's your first, I'm glad I didn't try." Jesper had something on him to smooth the way and he is clearly confident enough in himself to think that Kell would have been so swept away in lust with a stranger that he might have let him. Jesper likes almost getting caught, it's one of his kinks. And he can be very persuasive.

He smiles into Kell's skin as he continues down and sighs, nuzzling his hard flesh, licking all the way from base to tip. "Spread your legs for me, baby, and tell me how you imagined me fucking you." Jesper doesn't take him into his mouth, he plans on tormenting him a little as his fingers do the actual work of playing with his hole, running a wet finger along the rim and only pushing half a finger in at first.

Kell looks away, painfully aware that he's all flushed red again. Damn his pale skin betraying his stupid nerves every single time. It's so silly, he shouldn't be nervous. Not with Jesper, not after what they've already done. Then it dawns on him. He's not nervous, he's excited. It's so easy to mix the two, and Kell is so not used to the feeling of such giddy anticipation. He's not used to getting what he wants just because he asked for it.

"And I'm lucky. I get to have my first time with you twice."

He laughs when Jesper flips them again with effortless ease. Closes his eyes to let himself sink into their kiss with no restraint. He likes the heat of their more passionate rounds, but he likes this too. It's a different type of pleasure. Maybe less crazy, a lot less intense, but it's wonderful on its own terms.

It still feels like a dream to even have it at all. Kell would have never believed his angry defiance on the ship could ever end with something so beautiful like this. He has been very drunk that evening, but it was more his rage than booze that pushed to him to decide to just drop all pretense, ignore all the rules and any reservations he might. They brought them on this stupid sea voyage against their will, as fucking trophies, not more than status symbol to show off? Very well. They will get what they wished for. Kell decided he's going to take the pleasure trip very literally, but his concept of fun usually amounted to getting immorally plastered. Definitely he did not expect to end in bed with a handsome stranger having absolutely mind-blowing sex until morning.

It has been a perfect storm of circumstance and convenience.

"You were utterly irresistible," Kell responds to the compliment with one of his own arching into Jesper's touch. His lips, his breath hot against Kell's skin, the sweet torment of Jesper's teeth on his nipples, sending shivers down his spine. "You still are."

Kell's breath quickens into short inhales, followed by equally desperate exhales dissolving into moans as Jesper plays with his hole, teasing his now painfully hard cock. Then Jesper breaches the ring of tight muscle to sink his first finger in and Kell clenches purely on reflex. It feels weird, but a good type of weird and he wants more of it.

"I don't know if you'll be believe me if I say I'm not usually like that. I was fine the moment I sat at that table." Kell's reply comes in short, broken bursts punctuated by gasps and moans whenever Jesper moves his finger inside him. "Then you smiled at me, and I cannot for the love of Saints recall what we were talking about, the words are just blur in my memory. I do remember I had that one obsessive thought rattling around my skull. I had no idea how to make it happen, I didn't even know your name then, but all I could think of was that I need you to throw me at the nearest wall and fuck me senseless. A bed would be nice, but if we won't be able to find one I couldn't care less."

Kell's lust is more often a long simmering flame, not such an explosive flash fire. It helped to find the subject of his desire eager and wanting to get to the point immediately. It helped that he was too drunk to stop himself from leaning into Jesper's effortless flirt. That he didn't overthink his replies into oblivion.

"I'm glad we tried something else first. It would have been such a waste to rush it. Do it to me slowly, Jesper. I want to take you all in. I want you to fill me whole."

It's quite the improvement that he's even able to say such things. Even if that's still way too many words. Not all of them needed. Not all of them actually sexy. At least he doesn't trip over the cheesiness and awkwardness of it all. Doesn't stop to correct himself in flight. Just lets them flow. Kell is a fast learner, but needs someone to drag him out of his head and make him try things. Jesper is a master of both.

In truth, Jesper always intended to seduce someone at the dinner. It's what he thinks when he goes to most events. He could have found Mat or Wilhelm, and considered it, but when he sat down to Kell and looked into his pretty face and unusual black eye, the shock of red hair, he could only think oh yes please this one. Kell got his undivided attention and he has it now too. Jesper has many lovers but he treats every one of them differently because they are all different people who want their own things. And he and Kell are still figuring out all of the things they want from each other, outside of the aggressive sex they crave.

Jesper never likes only one vibe in a relationship. It's why he can go from roughly fucking someone to kissing gently, he's fluid in all ways, in all moods. Kell is clearly enjoying their shift from intense to sweet and he is content to teach him how easy all of this can be if he just lets himself relax and enjoy it. He smiles against Kell's skin the more he talks; he finds all his words lovely. Whether they're needed or not doesn't matter.

"I like hearing you talk, love. It's sexy to know how you feel and what you want." This is Jesper's gentle way of encouraging him to keep putting himself out there because he accepts all of it every time. He desires it, he enjoys it. "Here." Jesper pulls down a pillow and puts it underneath Kell's ass so he can lift him a little more, and not only so their love making will be easier. He has mischief still up his sleeve. His fingers are instantly slick and warm as he adds a second one but he kisses Kell's balls and then goes lower. He encourages Kell's legs to move over his shoulders for now and uses his fingers to spread him.

This is so Jesper can tease his opening with his tongue, intentionally curling it all along the outside to get him anticipating it, and then licks inside of him. Jesper has an extraordinary tongue which Kell already knows but he makes it a little longer since they're in the Horizon and he can do what he wants, letting his tongue get deeper and stroke his inner walls.

That's the thing with Kell, he's always guarded, closed off, distrustful to the point of paranoia. To most people, he's all spikes and scowl.
Then there are few people who can actually see the real him. It doesn't come easily or quickly to get into that second group. Yet Jesper, with his irresistible charm, his disarming smile, his kindness and passion, managed to waltz into it like it was his birthright. Kell would have been rightfully scared how easy that was, if only he'd let himself think about it for a second. He can't. There's no space left in his mind for anything other than feeling. Jesper's touch leaves him open in more ways than just welcoming his prodding fingers into his body. Jesper's words of encouragement melt whatever barriers his touch has not obliterated yet, teasing from Kell all kinds of sounds, words, gasps, little pathetic whimpers when Jesper touches him just right.

Kell gives a little yelp when Jesper lifts his hips up to slide a pillow under his ass. The cold of the fabric coming in contact with his overheated skin sends a tiny shock through his body making him shiver. He has no time to linger on the sensation. Jesper is already pulling his attention elsewhere, adding a second finger to stretch him further.

"Mmmmm... this feels so good."

Kell moans, pushing his hips down to better feel the fingers filling him. He can already understand why Jesper likes to keep him in long after they both come when it's Kell's turn to take him. And those are only two fingers. Kell trembles at the thought how perfect it's going to feel to have Jesper's cock inside him. It's all too easy imagine himself coming from holding it in. Then Jesper moves him again, pulling Kell from his fantasy into the moment. Never had he been so open like with his legs on Jesper's shoulders. Never felt so safe being so open. Waiting in anticipation for the next sensation, next bout of pleasure Jesper is going to give him. He has no way to prepare himself what comes next. Now way of anticipating it when Jesper takes his fingers away but gives him something better.

Jesper's skilful tongue, wet and hot, tears Kell's breath from his lungs as it makes its way first around then into his well-prepared hole. Kell shouts, all tensing from the sudden intrusion. His arms fall to the side, hands grasping at the sheets, back arching, toes curling.

"A-aah Jesper! Saints! Oh, fuck!"

Kell melts into a mess of sheer burning need, babbling incoherently, while Jesper eats him up, turning his mind blank and his insides into jelly. If he only had a single thought to spare, he would have died of embarrassment how easy it is to send him down this path. How little Jesper needs to do to him. How pathetic he must sound, all unravelled under Jesper's extraordinary tongue. It's good that this very tongue keeps all such thought away, leaving space for nothing but pleasure.

"Please. A-aah. So good. Please. Jesper. More. "

It seems they're both good at begging when the occasion calls for it.

Once upon a time, Jesper was new to sex and he had some fantastic teachers along the way, all who offered their expertise or their eager compliance to learn together. Experience doesn't always make someone a good lover, someone can have sex with a hundred people and still only be moderate at it. It's about adapting to the person you're with and giving them things they've never even imagined. Jesper never wants to be forgotten, he wants to be sealed into the mind and heart of every person he touches.

Since Kell's shown relative inexperience to some of what they've done, he had a suspicion no one has ever done this to him either. It's all the more reason to blow his mind, and it is a way to get him to relax. Kell is so desperate for more and opening up to Jesper so that his tongue can explore him, that it is easy for him to use his fingers to spread him at the same time. He probably barely notices when Jesper goes to three long fingers, since his magically elongated tongue is digging deep. He is fully involved in what he's doing, in the way Kell is frantically losing his mind, and Saints but he needs to fuck him too. His sweet sounds are music.

Jesper will probably be even slower and careful in person for their first time but they are in the Horizon and he is really getting forceful with his fingers as his body starts to ache with need. He pulls his tongue out first and tests Kell's stretch one more time before eagerly moving into position. Jesper is very forceful and confident as he moves Kell's legs from his shoulders to either side of him, and pulls him close into the cradle of his hips. He will probably put him on his hands and knees the second time, but Kell's first, so it should be like this. His silver gray eyes looking at Kell, a promising smirk on his lips, and his cock sliding into place with one firm push.

He does slow down so that Kell can adjust to the penetration, working his way inside with small movements of his hips, sweat dripping off him by the time he fully seats himself inside and allows himself to breathe. Jesper's body only then is allowed to flood him with pleasure and need, having concentrated first on Kell's feelings over his own. He pulls back once Kell seems to adjust, and then pushes back in, starting a steady pace of snapped hips and graceful movements.

Kell is all delirious mess under Jesper's expert tongue and fingers. Unable to form a single coherent sentence among the gasps and moans. He transforms completely when Jesper's finally goes full in in. Jesper is so cautious, dipping shallow, only moving in small, careful motions. It almost makes Kell want to tell him to hurry up and fuck him already, but Jesper is so good too him. So attentive, so careful to stretch him well, that Kell can't bring himself to complain now. It would have been so unfair. He does pout a bit, the expression quickly dissolving into blissful contentment when Jesper finally goes fully in.

Kell licks his lips watching as pleasure and need overtake Jesper when he lets himself feel them. His chest raising and falling in a laboured breath, smirk gracing his lips, lust like fire in his silver eyes. All for him, for Kell, and Kell soakes the attention like a needy, spoiled cat. He stretches, arching into Jesper when he pulls then pushes back in, matching Jesper's movements until they're perfectly synchronized.

"Yes. Just like that." he breathes out. Voice barely above whisper, low and dripping with pleasure.

Kell reaches up, lacing his fingers behind Jesper's neck to pull him down into a long, greedy kiss, parting his lips to lure him in.

"Fuck me, Jesper," Kell whispers into their kiss. "Fuck me long and hard. Fuck me until I see stars. I want to come on your cock."

Kell's body opens to him eagerly and he smiles as he gives into the greedy kiss, willing to take his time and let him enjoy being on the other end of this. It's clear that he is in no hurry on purpose, contrary to Kell's neediness, planning on thoroughly fucking him. Jesper thrusts in and out of him at a leisurely pace, smirking every time he pushes a little harder and faster until Kell can want more of it, and then he slows down instead. It's clear that he is just as confident being the dominant side of this, making Kell want it the way he's gotten Jesper to beg and plead for it.

"Stars, huh?" He grins and bites on Kell's lip hard, having played all of this sweet and understanding so far. Until he shifts his position. Jesper grips Kell's legs and maneuvers them over his shoulders again, spreading him with knees on top of either shoulder and he takes control of his body entirely. He no longer is within kissing range as he slams harder into Kell, hard enough to steal his breath, taking this angle to slide in deeper and at a faster pace.

"Saints look at you." Jesper is getting a very nice view since Kell's beautiful body is on display below him, taking everything he's giving, and he pushes his shoulders down. They might not be as flexible in real life (Jesper is) but they're in the Horizon so he smoothly pins Kell down to the bed, pressing his legs down and holding him there bent in half. "Just take it, baby, let go, let me have you." Jesper gives him those long and hard thrusts, demanding Kell's surrender as he speeds up his thrusts and rubs up against his prostate with each snap of his hips.

He is not being brutal, he is being precise. He promised to make this first time nice so all he's focused on is Kell's pleasure. Jesper presses down enough that he can kiss Kell again, pinning him there, and every push forward forces the friction between their bodies to stroke at Kell's cock, rubbing him over and over again as he moves inside of him.

Jesper pulls out of the kiss so he can breathe and also nuzzle at his ear. "I will make all of your fantasies come true, Kell. I'm going to fuck you so hard we nearly break the bed after this, but I want you to come like this, in my hands, trusting that I know how to make it good for you, sweetheart. That I'll always be good to you." It's all such pretty filth, honeyed tongue against his ear, as he keeps snapping into him. "You want it, don't you? Everything I can offer you." He nibbles on his ear, a little out of breath. "I'm going to fuck the sense out of you."

Later, when he thinks about it, Kell will marvel at the wonder of Horizon magic that lets him feel things his body has never experienced in the waking world. How was it even possible for his mind to know, to be able to translate all the sensations Jesper floods him with. So caring, kind, and expertly deliberate with everything he does.

What magic is needed for this kind of transfer that is able to create memories of new sensations for which there is nothing to base them on. Kell is used to thinking things into the ground, before he even lets himself experience them. He has quite vivid imagination. Too often imagination was the only thing he had, so he'd let it run late into some very lonely nights, fantasizing how it could be to feel to have another man inside him. The whole scenario from the very start of seduction to end with him getting ruthlessly banged into the mattress.

That's why he can be so sure Horizon doesn't just pull stuff from their memories to make up what it shows them. Having Jesper fuck him now feels nothing like whatever he imagined. Different, weirder, overwhelming to the point that he has no words for it. With practice, he might get used to it. Maybe even stay lucid, though that's doubtful with how good Jesper is with hitting him every single time in all the right places. Changing his pace, angle and position right after Kell got used to it, making him lose his mind all over again.

Kell moans when Jesper bites his lip. Sharp sting of pain shooting right through his nerves, more intense than it has the right to be. A clear line, like a needle piercing his skin, against the backdrop of all the previous sweetness. For one, fleeting moment, before Jesper moves him again, it sends Kell into a state of such intense focus, such acute awareness, that he's able to take in every single sensation he feels all at once. Pain in pleasure. Receiving it feels as good as giving it. It feeds the part of himself that only Jesper has seen. Then the moment ends. Jesper thrusts into him so hard that Kell has to fight for breath. So full of him, it feels like there's no space left for air.

"So you like what you see?" Kell purrs breathless.

He's slowly unravelling under Jesper's expert touch, letting him move him however he likes. A fleeting thought crosses Kell's mind, that it might be fun to try this position with their places reversed. There's the thing with Kell, he's never only selfishly taking. With every new thing Jesper does to him, he learns, picking up things he might want to do to Jesper in turn.

This is the moment, when unable to take a full breath with Jesper having folded him in half, his cock caught between their bodies tortured by the friction, Jesper hitting him in just the perfect spot with every thrust, crushing his lips in a kiss, Kell finally lets go. Allows himself to simply take it all in.

"I trust you," he whispers between moans and whimpers. "I want everything you want to give me. All of it."

He's so maddeningly close to coming, but doesn't want it just yet. It feels too good to be free of all thought, all worry, with Jesper taking all his focus hostage. He can't hold back either, having fully ceded all control over his body to Jesper. To be able to orgasm only when Jesper gives it to him, and surprisingly, it feels like the most natural, the most right thing. Safe, content, protected, spoiled with pleasure and attention.

"Please, I want to feel only you."

Edited 2023-06-25 16:45 (UTC)

Jesper never really questions the Horizon, he just rolls with it, like most things. He vaguely understands what it is, considering he can manipulate it fairly easy whenever he wants like now, but he thinks of it as a fun kind of playground for his impulses. He can gamble and shoot countless guns and fuck anyone he wants however he likes it, it's a wonderful kind of place. But he doesn't fall in love with it the way other people do, he likes to live in the real world. So that is why eventually he will look forward to having a Nocwich time with Kell, maybe get them a nice room and break his body in for real.

Kell is as beautiful in this state of abandon than he is when he's the one driving Jesper insane. He smiles at Kell at his purr. "Oh yes, my sweet boy, I like what I see." He really is a vision. Jesper knows that his strange eyes have caused him stress in his world, he explained it to him that first night they met, but he finds them gorgeous. Fascinating. "Let me show you."

Jesper doesn't even have to gesture, he can simply create. They are on his bed so he thinks it and then there is a mirror where the ceiling is. He can instantly put mirrors around them so that if Kell wants, he can see himself getting fucked, watch as Jesper slides into him balls deep, his own tight little ass flexing with each thrust. All their white and brown skin pressed together, mixed as they move. Jesper likes the idea of Kell seeing himself this way, knowing how thoroughly he's being taken. It feeds in well to his absolute trust.

Jesper's heart pounds because a promise of trust like that out loud does mean something to him. Their intimacy grows by the moment and that has always turned him on. He's never been a proper fuckboy. He likes people too much. He kisses Kell in reward for that and then moves back so Kell is not bent in half anymore, his legs still fully upward resting on Jesper's chest, but so they can both see one another clearly. And so Jesper can reach down and take Kell in hand.

"Don't look at me, look at you. I want you to see how beautiful you are when I fuck you." Jesper strokes his cock slowly, from base to tip long and thorough. He speeds up his thrusts, snapping forward sharply, but his touch on Kell's cock only speeds up when Kell sees himself. He rewards him when he follows his instructions. "Your perfect lips, fire red hair, glorious white skin, unique eyes, slender body, greedy hole just taking me in." He kisses Kell's ankle and smiles down at him.

"Come, baby, I want to feel you tighten around me, take everything I'm giving you right now, enjoy it, know that it's yours. My body is yours." Jesper knows how to make love as easily as he has sexy any number of ways. There is tenderness in his words although his body is far from tender. It picks up in a fast pace to split Kell open and his hand strokes his cock aggressively, using his precum to make him wet and slippery, squeezing as he tightens his hold and pumps him into climax.

Kell loves being called sweet and baby. There's a level of tenderness he's not really used to. Not because there were no people willing to give it to him. Because he wouldn't let them. Kell likes to think he's quite handsome, but that's all in his head. It's what he tells himself. His body tells another story. Eyes always skirting to the side, his posture, his hands, skulking, slouched, jittery. As if he always tries to melt into the shadow, knowing too well he can't. He never could back home. Always in the spotlight, always the odd one out. A chalky thin ghost with fire for hair slinking among so many statuesque men and women with soft, lush hair, skin like the most exquisite polished wood, dark and warm and rich. Full of curves and volume, when all he has are sharp angles. No matter the words he heard, he's always seen himself this way. He knew he wasn't beautiful. Interesting, original, fascinating even, but not beautiful. Forever destined to remain an oddity. Ogled for his differences with curiosity, maybe fear, but never admiration. Almost never with warmth.

So when there are suddenly mirrors all around them, Kell can't help but shrink. When Jesper asks him to look, to see how he sees him, he cannot. He doesn't want to look, he knows what he will see, keeps his eyes fixed on Jesper. And Jesper, Jesper kisses him. Kell closes his eyes, sinking into the kiss like a drowning man, hands reaching up, fingers closing, digging into Jesper's shoulders to pull him closer. Whines a wordless protest when Jesper moves away; arms falling back to the bed, eyes flying open startled and --

He sees it. Kell stares straight up into the mirror on the ceiling, and for a moment time freezes. His breath catches, eyes going wide, fingers searching to find purchase in the sheets. He drinks in the image in the mirror. Jesper's muscular back covering most of his body, every thrust of his hips sinking him into Kell all the way in. Kell can see the soles of his own feet, so white over Jesper's gorgeously brown shoulders. He sees them jerk, toes curling, every time Jesper pushes in, hitting Kell's prostate, sending lightning through his nerves.

For that very brief moment, Kell cannot connect what he sees to what he feels. It's perfectly synchronized, but his mind refuses the connection. Then the body wins and he wheezes a half-inhale, half-moan.

"Jesper..."

The strain of his spine melts away, arched back, strained muscles relaxing. Kell's head falls to the side and when his eyes meet another mirror, another moan rips from his parched lips. The side view is even better. He can see in stark detail Jesper's hand on his cock, slowly, tortuously stroking him. He sees Jesper bury himself all the way to his balls, feels the whole glorious length and girth of him filling him in, hitting his prostate as he goes in. Feels the tight ring of his own muscles constrict, as if he tried to hold Jesper in. Because he does.

Kell can't tear his eyes away. Not even when Jesper kisses his ankle. When he pours honeyed words into his ear, calls him perfect, glorious, unique.

"Fuck me, Jesper. Take me. Ruin me. Please. Give me all. Make me come."

Kell can only whisper. He's so full it feels there's no space in him for air, only for Jesper, destroying his insides, reducing him to a mewling, desperate, delirious, shivering mess. Until he falls apart completely, with a long cry of ecstasy. He doesn't know how long he floats in the state of bliss. Weightless, satisfied, and so so happy.

"Promise me one thing, Jesper." Kell can only speak when he finally recovers any mental faculties. He's smiling, content and satiated, still giddy from the pleasure that washed over his mind and body. "Promise you'd fuck me for real next time we see each other in Nocwich."

Jesper knows about Kell's insecurity, he saw it that first night they were together. He heard it when he reacted badly to attention being brought to his eyes, when Kell struggled to communicate what he wanted by imagining a handsome stranger wanted him, as if he could never imagine that. Except it happened to him. So he knows, he's seen it, and he doesn't know what home life led to this, but he's not going to let this continue without Kell seeing himself a little bit. But Jesper doesn't force him to look. He lets Kell get to it in his own time, let it happen to him sincerely.

It helps to blow his mind so he can't get lost in his uncertainty, and it does feel so good to move inside someone who can't get enough of it. Kell is needy in the way he just surrenders and it is deeply sexy. Jesper knows that they look hot like this, he doesn't need to look at the mirror, he smiles with smug satisfaction when Kell finally watches them. He can see the moment when it becomes a serious turn-on and how Kell moans louder and takes it all in. It is also a turn-on to watch Kell open up to the vision he's seeing and experience it.

Jesper comes seconds after Kell because he squeezes tightly around him exactly as he asked, making his steady control over his body unravel until he thrusts as deep as he can and fills him, groaning. He pumps Kell's cock through the orgasm and manages to get some of it on him, as he always likes, licking it off his fingers like a delicacy afterward. Jesper sighs contently as the feeling of bliss settles over him again and he is careful to let Kell's legs down from the 90 degree angle, but still keeps his knees parted so Jesper can stay inside of him.

This means he can lean back down to kiss him, sweet and with a touch of hunger to it still, but Jesper smiles at him. "I promise, sweetheart. I will take you on a nice little date and shower you with compliments." He kisses him again, nipping his lip. "And then I will fuck you until you pass out in a very nice inn room."

"Mmmm... I think I get why you like to keep me in, even after we're done"

Kell doesn't need to be more precise than that. All he has to do is to reach up, moving his hands down Jesper's body to his ass to show him what he means. Even now, when they're both slowly cooling down, surfacing from their shared bliss, it still feels good.

"Excellent, I'm already looking forward to that," he purrs between the sweet and not-so sweet kisses. "Before that, I think we still have a couple of places here where I haven't fucked you on just yet."

Kell still fully intends to make good on his earlier promise. As long as Jesper is willing. He's feeling especially adventurous now.

So random question. Fair skin, light brown hair, beautiful brown eyes. Few inches shorter than you. Really pretty. Very gay. Not from the Cities. Probably has some sorta emotional trauma and shadow powers. You happen to know who this is?

I fucked something up at the ball and I've been putting off making it right. I'll keep on the network for a few hours. For this.
- Abby

Did he seem around our age?

Yes! Maybe twenty. At the oldest. Probably younger like eighteen.
- Abby

That's Wilhelm in Thorne. He's very sweet, he'll forgive whatever you did if you apologize.

Shit. We've met. As ourselves not in disguise. That makes it make a lot of sense.

I have to apologize for letting him kiss me while I was dressed as a boy and him finding out I wasn't when he grabbed my tits. What I'm saying is this'll be fucking awkward and I might need a drink and/or a cuddle after. If it goes fucking sideways.
- Abby

Yeah I can see how that would be a problem, as he is very gay, and he's not fond of being tricked. He's one of my lovers and he's a good fellow, just apologize.

That's the plan. But I think he'll get why I was a boy when I explain- that. I just don't want to fuck this up worse while apologizing.

Done that once.

You'll find out if I fucked up if I'm siting outside your door with a bottle of cheap grain alcohol.
- Abby

I'm not worried. Wille's a sweetheart. He'll hear you out.

I'm cautiously optimistic. Which is a huge step for me.

And probably mostly your fault.
- Abby

Yes I am an eternal optimist, and I rub off on others.

Hello. I want to see your book. Viktor said I need your permission.

Did he! Yeah go ahead. It's technically a census of the Summoned, with some thirst details because it's funny.

Thank you. I am trying to gather information about the Summoned and their Arcanae.

Thirst?

[Even though they all can understand one another's words, Linhardt isn't sure what 'thirst' means here.]

Did you record everyone's beverage preferences?

I've listed the arcana I know but not everyone has mentioned it. You could ask the group on the network too.

Nah, thirst as in I think they're sexually attractive and make notes about their good looks. It started as a lark with me and Viktor, I joked that every single Summoned was hot and he told me to make notes proving so and give it to him.

Maybe I will do so.

I see. It makes sense that Viktor claimed that the information was subjective - little is more subjective than what someone finds attractive. I am pleased you have found some way to bring joy into your life here.

Our argument was me stating that there are objectively hot people here, and I stand by that. Anyway, it started as a lark, but I've kept at it. I think it amuses him even if he says otherwise, he does keep all of them.

Viktor is right, though. There is no objective measure of sexual attractiveness. It varies depending on personal taste. Unless you mean 'objectively hot' in the sense that a certain percentage of the population find someone attractive, like how almost everybody is attracted to Claude or thinks Hilda is beautiful. An aggregate measure instead of an individual one.

[Nerd.]

Claude and Hilda are indeed very hot, you get it.

I do.

Are you categorizing the Summoned based on looks or personality?

Both! Someone can be aesthetically pretty but ugly in personality. I'll still note the aesthetic part but give a thumbs down to them as a person.

That is fair. I don't think it's likely to be relevant, but we do not know, do we?

Add me to that list. I have been informed I'm aesthetically pleasing, but I have a terrible personality. If there are enough of us in that category, then that means if the attractiveness of the Summoned is relevant, it's likely only on looks. Or if there aren't, then we may be rounding errors.

What about aesthetically unattractive people with attractive personalities? Have you encountered many?

Why do you have a terrible personality? You seem fine.

I haven't met anyone here who isn't aesthetically attractive. Now, some people might argue because there are other species here, so they don't look human-hot, but I am fairly certain that based on their own species, they probably are equivalently hot.

I am more interested in research than people, I am too blunt and not sensitive to people's emotional states, have no care about what is appropriate conversation, and I tend to fall asleep right after intimate activities. I do not think I am objectively terrible, but if we're discussing aggregate attractiveness most people prefer bed partners who are more conventional and attentive to their needs outside of bed. I have no interest in changing.

I also find non-humans attractive and I agree that most people are aesthetically pleasing, but I do not believe that our broad tastes are standard.

Okay yeah, that does all sound like asshole behavior, at least you know it, I guess?

Garrus is a full out reptile-bird alien, but he is very attractive, also there's this new raccoon alien that I'm low-key obsessed with. Not in a sexual way, but he's cool.

Every attempt I have made to change myself to be more socially acceptable has made me miserable. Nobody else needs to, I fail to see why I should. I enjoy intimacy, but not enough to give up research, and nobody should be obligated to spend time with me when I am insufferable.

You should add Sylvain Gautier to 'aesthetically pleasing but personality not' quadrant. Or perhaps not. He got slapped a great deal in school, but I think he may be sleeping with Hilda and she would not tolerate his previous assholery, so he may have changed.

I want to meet them; I have so many questions. There aren't that many non-humans in Thorne. Is Garrus colorful like the illustrations of birds from other continents?

I've had a lot of sex with Sylvain, my friend, and he's an absolute delight. Maybe it's just a personality clash. I only rarely have them because I'm as easy going as you can get, but they happen.

No he's like blue and gray? He has an incredible voice, if you wanted to close your eyes and picture a voice that you'd like to hear on your death bed, that's the kind. Anyway he's impossible to miss if you spot him around Nocwich.

Also we've got the drawing giant shark.

I'm glad to hear that. I hope you are both having a lovely time. I can't speak personally, I was just going off the memories of the number of scenes he created with his lovers when we were younger. Or his friends about said lovers. I would not consider someone to have a bad personality because they did not get along with me: That's always going to be because of me, not the other person.

I will look for him. Does he have feathers?

There's a giant shark?!

I've made more than a few scenes myself. Sometimes we manwhores have to stick together. He's a good fellow though, he's settled down a lot here, you might be surprised.

No, he has talons and I think scales, I'm not sure about that. I've never touched him. He could have feathers under his clothes, I don't know. It'd probably be rude to ask. He's an alien called a Turian.

Yeah, you haven't seen the shark? Nanaue is his name, you may have seen him drawing pictures on the network. Not super smart but seems very sweet.

Good for him. I hope that he is happy. I never thought ill of his taking bedmates; I was more annoyed with his friends for being so obnoxious about his doing so. I don't see why having a lot of partners is a problem as long as everyone is engaging voluntarily. Sylvain himself I avoided because he puts up masks and I assumed he did not want to be known.

Scenes are undesirable - they mean someone is upset or hurt.

What is an alien?

I have not seen the shark, no, but I would like to. I've never actually seen a shark up close. I tried to jump off a boat to look at one once, but my father fished me out and then refused to take me out to sea for three years.

[He's going to ask about the feathers. Rude? What's that? There is knowledge at stake.]

He likes being known if someone wants to get to know him, but there's no pressure to do that if you two don't gel. Not everyone needs to get along.

You know, funny enough, the word alien means someone from another planet from what I'm told, and that's ALL of us, so we're all aliens.

No he's like a shark-person. He is a giant shark that walks around and can talk, he has legs, but he can also eat things whole so watch out. You must have just gotten here, yeah? Because everyone who went to the Feywilds knows the shark.

It might be different here. As I said, I am pleased that my classmates are doing well and are well received, and if they are doing better here than in Fodlan with people who care for them and in less danger - relatively and immediately - that is good. They deserve better than Fodlan.

Yes, we would all be aliens to the Abraxans. So an alien is a person from one planet that moves or visits another planet? That sounds like it would be very lonely for the alien. Unless they're like me or Bernadetta who are afraid of people. Then being alone would be fine. So perhaps it would depend on the alien? Does Garrus feel isolated? It would be difficult to be different even among those of us who are already odd.

I am new, yes. I want to meet the shark-person. I will bring him food - it is only polite. Can he swim like a shark?

From what I've heard of Fodlan, that's true. But it means you probably deserve better than it too.

You're AFRAID of people? What's so scary about people? Outside of the kind who want to kill you, obviously. Though I'm not really scared of them either.

I don't know about Garrus, you could always ask. He lives in Free Cities but keep an eye out for him in Nocwich, and the shark-man Nanaue lives in Solvunn. I assume you're in Thorne otherwise you would have already met them.

Yes. Everybody from Fodlan does. Especially those who aren't noble and have just been dragged into our mistakes and foolish ego trips.

People are difficult. When speaking to them, I have to pay attention to a lot of details and they change constantly. I do not have time to assimilate that information and therefore I misread situations. I am never entirely sure what people want from me and people act in ways I do not understand. I am never sure on how to phrase things to pacify people. In my experience, people put up with me because they think my intellect and magical knowledge are useful, but here that is not the case. People are not logical and I would not expect them to change as I myself do not want to change, but it means they are unpredictable. It feels as though I am on a boat for the first time with sailors and we sank and I am the only one who cannot swim. You are clearly charming and socially adept so I am unsurprised you do not experience these issues.

I am in Thorne. It is preferable to Fodlan.

Nah, never had any trouble with that. I was born the friendliest person in town and I am undeniably likable.

[ Not a single moment of uncertainty or self-esteem issues. ]

But my closest friend is bad with people, I wouldn't say he's afraid of them, but they exhaust him and he doesn't know what to say. Social situations are uncomfortable. He was our gang leader so he had to engage to some extent, but it's easier to be logical and get shit done as a boss. Less so as a person.

Have you met Kell over in Thorne? You two might have some things in common. He's a good lad, heart of gold, but gets nervous with social expectations. Basically just saying you're not the only one who doesn't have it easy that way. Maybe you lot should make an introvert club.

I know a few people like that. Like Claude and Hilda. I would be jealous, but your lives seem exhausting and incompatible with sleeping 16 hours a day.

Is that so? I despise being in charge of anything. It simply leads to more expectations and ways to disappoint people, and more guilt when one of my people is hurt and I was unable to prevent it.

I like Kell. I do not know if the feeling is mutual as I tried to set him on fire. I had an introvert club with a friend back home. We liked to sit in silence together. I would research and she would draw or write.

Oh yeah I don't sleep much. Don't need to. I get energized by other people and I live in the inn with a bunch of them.

Kaz is a control freak, he gets satisfaction off of telling people what to do. It's very cute of him. It helps he only cares about a very small list of people's opinions. Everyone else doesn't matter. Smart way to keep his sanity, I'd say.

Why did you try to set him on fire?

I'm always tired. Even if I sleep for 14 hours. The only time I haven't been that I remember is right after I got here. Usually I sleep during the day and take 1 or 2 naps during the evening or night hours.

I guess that works for him. He sounds like a less social version of Edelgard. She also has a lot of control issues. We argue a lot as I do not like being told what to do. Kaz is right in that other people's opinions are irrelevant unless there is some practical reason to attend to them.

I was not in my right mind. I would not normally do such a thing; I do not like hurting people.

Sounds like you might have a medical condition.

You don't like being told what to do? I would've never guessed. You seem so easy going and relaxed. (This is sarcasm, in a teasing way.) (In case that doesn't translate to text.)

I'm sure it's fine. Kell's not one to hold a grudge if you weren't in control of yourself.

None of the healers who examined me were able to find anything - I am lazy. I prefer napping to most activities. Even on the battlefield on occasion.

[He 100% has a medical condition.]

That is me: Easygoing, loyal, and completely unconcerned with the future consequences of my actions. (That is also sarcasm.) I might be more amenable if the things I were told to do were less stupid. Maybe not. Probably not.

I still owe him an apology. I should not have been near one of the creatures without making plans for things going awry. That was my responsibility and I was too arrogant.

Well maybe healers don't know everything, what about medical doctors?

What kind of stupid things were you told to do?

Oh you had one of the beast arcanas. Eh, to be fair to you, we weren't really prepared for that. It wasn't until near the end when we even figured out that it meant anything. More ignorance than arrogance, I'd say.

Of course we don't know everything. There is no distinction between the two in Fodlan, but information on some things has been repressed over the centuries. We have no information on the problems that Edelgard has, for example.

Fighting and spending my time sitting in classes and meetings when it was more efficient to learn or catch up on my own. I don't see why I should sit through a 2 hour meeting when I can be given the information in 15 minutes and then sleep for an hour and 45 minutes.

It was arrogant to assume that something unexpected would not happen when I have been informed that a lot of strange things happen here. Even some of my own magic does not function properly. I should not have assumed.

So do your healers do things like use medicinal herbs and study the biology of the body? Because in my experience sometimes it's not about just healing with magic, it could be something biologically off with you.

Yeah I hate those meetings. So I didn't go. Kaz was pretty good at just telling me what he needed so I didn't have to bother, or making it quick. Sounds like you had annoying leaders. We are criminals though, not military or whatever you guys are.

Oh no, you're human and sometimes make mistakes, something many other people did during this experience!

Yes, we do, but our studies were hampered. I am doing my best to push past the restrictions the Church has placed on us, but we do not have the tools that I think we would need, such as telescopes and microscopes. I am trying to create some back in Fodlan, but it is difficult to do while with a marching army.

Yes! Yes, they are annoying! Not just Edelgard, but also Ferdinand, especially since he's one of the ones we have to back up and explain very basic things to. We are the army of the Empire of Adrestia. It is not a very well-run Empire, as evidenced by me being in charge of anything.

Fine. I still feel culpable. If I accept your logic, why isn't the emotion leaving? It is annoying.

You should talk to Nadine in Free Cities or Claire in Solvunn, they might be able to meet up with you in Nocwich for tests. They're both medics, not magical healers. It sounds like something medical is going on with you, mate. Might as well ask.

Well congrats you're no longer in an army, you can just hang out and learn what you want. Thorne's sort of a trash place but there's good people there in the Summoned.

Emotions aren't logical, they're the opposite. Best to just shrug and accept it. It'll go away eventually, it's normal to linger on feelings until you naturally move on.

There is nothing preventing a magical healer from being a medic. I am one, the world I am from is simply rather unadvanced. I have spoken with Nadine and have a great deal of respect for what she has accomplished; I would not waste her time with a problem that was not dire.

I know. I am pleased about that. Why do you say that Thorne is a trash place? Is it worse than the Free Cities or Solvunn? There are good people in all of the nations and amongst Summoned and non-Summoned alike, I imagine. I cannot think of a group of people that does not contain both good and evil people.

Yes, I will ignore them and they will go away.

Why don't you let her decide if it's worth her time? If you respect her so much.

It's a trash place because they started this whole thing and then jailed the Summoned, and they're trying to keep you lot caught like a bird in a gilded cage. If you aren't afraid of Thorne's royalty, you haven't been there long enough. You're all one bad temper away from going into the dungeons again, and no one's powers work down there, they can block them.

The Free Cities and Solvunn aren't good either, but we have a lot more freedom. Physically, which is important to me, I hate staying still. Solvunn's got too much religion and farmland. Cadens isn't so bad.

No I said ACCEPT THEM and then they'll eventually go away.

[The man has a point.]

Do you think this would interest her or do you believe she would only be concerned about my wellbeing?

I am more annoyed than frightened. I am not surprised the dungeons can restrict our abilities: My nation has magically restricted holding cells and that is one of the first things any nation would do when Summoning from a security perspective. Summoning something or someone you can't control would be a security risk.

I am glad that you have some freedom of movement, though I worry it may be false freedom. At least Thorne is open about being run by authoritarians. I would prefer that to deception or lies. Be careful.

Yes, that is what I said. I will do nothing and they will go away. I have research to do instead.

[Ignoring and disassociating from his feelings is the same thing as accepting them, isn't it?]

With Nadine, it'd probably be both. She's curious, she likes knowing things. If it turns out something of interest, she'll be able to help other people too. If it turns out not to be a big deal, whatever, at least you'll both know.

[ Jesper knows Nadine extremely well, they're Cadens family. ]

Eh, even if it's false, it's still freedom. They could come down on us at any time, but that's true of all three. We still get to live every day until that doing whatever we want. Also, I'm pretty hard to catch. Something they don't know.

I'm never careful but it's sweet you're concerned. I bet you are very cute. I should add you to my book.

If you believe she would be curious, I will consult her.

I do enjoy being able to do as I please. I am fortunate that what I wish to do is spend my time in libraries and bookshops. Thorne does not mind that I spend my time studying and sleeping. I may feel differently when the resources available to me here stop being sufficient.

[Linhardt isn't going to restrict himself to only learning what Thorne wants him to learn. There is always more, and their information restrictions are foolish. Stupid.]

I retract my worry. If you are going to be not careful, I hope it is in a way that you find enjoyable.

I do not know if 'cute' is the adjective I would use to describe myself. I am 177 centimeters tall and less muscular than Claude and Sylvain. I have dark green hair - slightly darker than a pine tree - and blue eyes that lean purple similar to a blooming cornflower if you have those in your world. My skin is approximately the same shade as Sylvain's. My Arcana sign is that of the High Priestess.

If there is any other information you would like, you may ask.

[It doesn't matter that Linhardt is not interested in the looks or sexual inclinations of the Summoned. Jesper is and that is good enough reason to offer him the information. Linhardt believes that everybody has the right to indulge their interests, whether he shares them or not, and Jesper has been helpful.

He also doesn't believe in topics being 'inappropriate'.]

Yeah just tell her the deal. The amount of time you sleep, how you feel, if it gets in the way of your general life, etc. She and Claire the doctor in Solvunn do it because they like medicine, of course they'd be interested.

I almost exclusively do what is enjoyable. What's the point of life if it isn't fun?

I'll add you, although if we get a chance to meet in person, that will make it easier to make sure my entry is accurate. Also, do you like men, women, no one, anyone?

Just because they like medicine does not mean my particular situation would interest them. Healers have a variety of reasons for practicing and not all of us practice out of intellectual curiosity. Some do so because they like people and want to help them. I also knew at least one healer that preferred treating animals to people. I will ask them, however.

You have the correct philosophy towards life. I do not see the point of a life lived for duty if it means that someone is forced to be devoid of joy. Joy and pleasure is its own end; it does not need to be justified.

Accuracy is important.

I do not care about the sex of my lovers - men and women are equally enjoyable.

I'm glad to find someone who agrees with my life philosophy. Want to make out some time?

Yes. This situation is very stressful and I need something less so.

[And since Jesper is a stranger and does not live in Thorne, he is safer to be intimate with.]

Great! If you spot me in Nocwich or the Horizon come say hi. I'm tall, dark hair, gray eyes, very attractive, usually wearing a bright green long coat and have guns. I stand out.

Would we be kicked out if we engaged in the hot springs? The water feels nice.

No idea if we would, but we should definitely try and find out.

If we get caught, it's your fault.

Hey. I need a favor. Do you know a guy who can make a custom quiver. No, that's not the right word. Dispenser? For like marbles, that I can clip to my belt?

If I'm going to keep looking for trouble I should bring my own ammunition and not start scrounging rocks off the ground. Or having to pull them out of my pocket.

You can always ask Viktor. He's the inventor around here. It'd probably take him like ten minutes.

Far be it for me to argue with the impressive Slayer of the Rancor.

Viktor, got it.

And it'd have been so much easier if I didn't have to scrounge for ammo. Even if I only finished it, I didn't exactly carry my weight through it.

He's the disheveled-looking guy with the cane and strange accent.

Well he's an inventor, maybe see if he has some ideas on how to work that out. I make my own ammunition but I can just reuse it over and over.

Guy who looks like his blood is more coffee than anything else?

I can use basically anything as ammo, marbles just seem like the cheapest thing to get ahold of and fit into a contraption. Having an exact size and easy to set-up a few before I go out. Maybe get a slingshot too, just to be that menace kid.

You should have seen him before, fellow was at death's door last year.

Slingshot's not a bad idea. Everyone's got their own signature weapon, after all, and yours won't cost as much as the rest of us. Tell Viktor I'll pay for whatever it is, but he's good at this stuff.

I might ask you to teach me to shoot, but I still don't know how to make a gun and my magic work together. So for now a slingshot will give me range and speed, and just flicking marbles at people accuracy.

I guess this counts as my birthday present. Alongside whatever else you plan to do with me?

I'm an expert marksman, you'll be an expert too with no time. I think the slingshot's a good call, I love guns but they aren't very stealthy, which fits more with your powers. You should talk to Inej about learning how to sneak, she's incredible.

What do you want to do? We can have a shindig at the inn, invite your friends! I can make you something for your birthday though. Something shiny?

They are probably too loud, and will shatter my stealth if I fired one. So it'd really be more for a fight where I can't hide like the weird metal dinosaur. And I do intend on asking Inej for help when she's a little more up and about.

Check with Julie, see if she isn't already planning a party for me. It should probably be on the Horizon so Hilda and Wilhelm can be there. But I was really more concerned with what you wanted to do with a more mature and wiser me.

Inej is the best spy anyone could ever meet. I've known her for years and she still gets the drop on me, and she shouldn't be able to, considering I can track her clothing, but she somehow manages! You couldn't get a better teacher.

So you and Wille made up, I'm assuming? Told you he's forgiving.

Well maybe we can stick around the Horizon after the party and I can show you what sex is like on the psychic plane. Spoiler alert: It's amazing.

Yeah, he gets why I do the shit I do. And I get why it's fucked up for him to deal with.

What? Sex in a world where reality can bend to your whims is amazing, color be surprised!

P.S. Oh yeah, your cranky inventor friend wants half up front.
P.P.S. Mat should also be there, it might be nice if we got to know each other with my clothes on.

He gets not everything's black and white. I'm glad you've become friends, you could both use more good sort in your life.

I know! Imagine that.

Fine, Wylan works at the lab, I'll give him the money. I knew he'd be able to figure it out. Viktor's against weapons but I figured a slingshot would be tolerable for him.

Well, no promises, clothes do have a habit of falling off us.

A lot of my clothes falling off around Mat last time is I just- have a thing about musicians.

This is still very fucking weird for me.

Mat's also hot in general. Although I get the musician thing. We've been together for a year and a half and he still gets my heart racing every time.

What, having casual sex partners you feel comfortable with? It can be weird at first.

He's definitely that. I think you might have a little bias though, smitten and all that you are.

Talking about it at all? Definitely talking about it with his boyfriend. What I did with Press I didn't share with my friends. Because they would correctly point out I should do things with someone less terrifying. And my world is pretty big on the whole monogamous possessiveness bullshit. And prudish 'don't talk about it' bullshit.

I like this better, I still just need to get used to it. Where the boundaries are, shit like that.

Monogamy is a thing where I'm from too, and I even tried it with someone, before coming here. It worked and all, I'm not a cheater, but I think this is more me. It's really about communication, making sure everyone gets it. Mat and I are good at that, with each other and with other people. I don't think the heart has a limited amount of space, it's endless to me. The way I care about people is infinite.

Eh, we don't worry much about boundaries. We always know where each other stand. Sometimes boundaries about other people become a thing, such as Kaz being an unrelenting dick to him, but it's not because he has to share. I love the man, but he is a dick to most people.

You've also been here longer than me and there's definitely something in the waters we wash up from that makes everyone sorta needlessly horny. I do agree that limiting yourself to caring about just one person over everyone else is- well, fucking stupid.

I'm not worried about your boundaries, I'm worried about mine. I mean- don't get me wrong, if I thought you had boundaries I'd worry about them but so far I haven't found any. I want to have fun, enjoy myself, and make a life worth having. I just don't know what that looks like, which is fucking scary.

I've met Kaz now, he tried to convince me he wasn't a fighter after berating a monster into leaving. He sure is something.

It's okay if that's what someone wants. Wilhelm for example would probably prefer monogamy if he fell in love, I know him very well, so everyone's different. The guy I was monogamous with is here now. We're working on being okay with each other. He's a good sort, Wylan, you might've seen him around the inn.

Oh yeah, that makes sense. I want to respect your boundaries and encourage you to learn what they are, love. It is scary to open yourself up like this to so many people, but the rewards really are worth it. Finding a place you belong can be everything.

Ha! That's him alright. He's the head of our gang, the entire city's terrified of him.

I'm the wrong person to figure out what is and isn't right about romance.

Which is why spending the night after my party exploring the ins and outs of sex on he Horizon is on the table. It's a lot easier to try new things when I trust the guy I'm with and a lot less terrified then I would be with someone new. I'll try to find new people later.

I'm never going to argue with an end result that means me giving you a fantastic birthday night, love. Do you want to invite Mat or have it be us?

Just us. Let's keep it to one new thing at a time. I'm not actually as cool as I pretend I am.

You are absolutely 100% as cool as you pretend to be. You're a very cool and sexy woman, and I'm honored to be your booty call of choice.

Are you alright? I hope you are. It was madness here. There are some many people in infirmaries.

[Kell can't bring himself to say that both Rhy and Kyle got hurt...]

Will you be in Nocwich this month?

[Even less that he was worried about Jesper...or that he misses him. It's not like they're anything...]

I'm fine! We brought down a few of the beasts. Right now it's clean up duty. One of them stuck around, it lives in the Bay currently.

I can be. Are you alright?

A few! Nice! You've been busy.
What? How? Is it going to stay there?! The ones on our side were pretty deadly.

I'm fine... it's just. It was rough.

Will you?

[He's so not used to caring about other people.]

Don't know how and yeah looks like it'll be staying. It was the one with the poison breath, but otherwise just seems like a giant plant. They've decided to let it stay. I'm not going to fight on it.

So you're NOT fine. I'll be there. Come let me give you hugs.

It might be a plant, but it's still poisonous, I can't see why would they want to keep it. But I won't say I understand what the fuck the Crown is doing on a good day so maybe I shouldn't criticize Free Cities.

[Apart from wanting to murder the Singularity. That's something he's always going to protest against. Please don't, he relies on the magic rock more than he thought.]

Thank you.

It wasn't up to me, but the fellow who handled it decided to go the peaceful route. I assumed the government would put it down after but they didn't. Some fool's selling tickets for people to go look at it, but they'll probably all be eaten.

I'll see you there, love.

[The eternal question with Kell, and the best indicator that something is off, is can he get any paler? The answer consistently being: yes, he can. Doubly so when he isn't getting enough sleep like he hasn't now . He must look especially palid, because even the barmaid asked him if he feels well.

Honestly, the break will be as good for him as it will be for Rhy who needs food, sleep and rest more than he does Kell hovering over him like an anxious cloud. The problem is that even waiting for Jesper, Kell can't stop fidgeting, turning a small stone in his fingers, alternating between crushing it into loose gravel and fusing them back into rock.

The moment he notices Jesper coming, all of sudden Kell looks more alive.]

Jesper! Over here!

Edited (just to add a nice little flourish at the end) 2023-09-20 20:09 (UTC)

[ Jesper can tell even through messages when something is up with his friends. Call it an instinct, his natural ease with people gives him very good empathy. He checks on Inej who is doing better post-monsters and they've moved up to the top of the inn where Julie used to. Kell reaching out gives him a bit of a warning, and since he asked to meet here instead of in an inn, it's not to fuck until they pass out.

Yet at least.

It takes one singular look at Kell for Jesper to become concerned; he doesn't look well at all, even if he visibly brightens. Jesper frowns as he joins him and it's familiarity which always makes him bold with his lovers. He cups Kell's face, worry in gray eyes. ]

Kell, sweetheart, what in the world is going on?

[Kell did get them a room in the inn, so fucking until they pass out is still in the cards. Honestly, it always is. It's surreal how horny Jesper makes him simply by existing in the same space. Kell could even think it funny if this wasn't about him. That's his weakness. Pretty people who make him go crazy about them.

It's one of the reasons he decided to meet outside and not inside the inn. He has some dignity left. He doesn't want to look needy. Which he is. The fact that he's even holding on is a small miracle on its own. He gets through on sheer grit and stubbornness, and almost no sleep at all. All that held by a dangerously fine thread. A thread that starts to break the moment Jesper touches him, when he looks at him with worry in his gorgeous gray eyes.

Kell looks back at him, eyes wide, startled by the gentleness he was not expecting, and for a moment Jesper can clearly see all the turmoil he brought with him here. At the root of it all: fear. Raw primal fear. Fear that he's too strong to be safely around. Fear that he's too weak to meaningfully help.

Then Kell looks away, eyes cast on the ground, the lines of his face falling into familiar scowl. He huffs.]

What isn't it?

[Kell exhales and looks back. His expression already softening, a ghost of a weak smile dancing on his lips. He lifts his hand to Jesper's cheek; traces the line of his jaw with his fingers. As if he needed confirmation that Jesper is real. That he's here, unharmed.]

Sorry, I just... I had to know, had to see for myself that you are alright. Almost everyone else is not. And I ... [missed you, terribly. He almost says it. Almost. Not this time, though. Kell sighs and smiles, a little more openly.] It's been a while, wasn't it? I hoped I see you on the Masquerade. I wanted to show you my costume. But you were busy. I didn't want to intrude.

[ Jesper has been at low points before, he knows what it's like, and how easy it is to keep falling lower and lower. There's a difference between doing it to yourself and the world doing it to you. He's always been his own worst enemy, but he's good for other people, and he can be good for Kell too. He can see something is very wrong. ]

I'm very dangerous, and I have the best luck of anyone I know. Outside of gambling. You don't have to worry about me.

[ He has terrible luck there, thus the problem, but he is trying to joke with Kell. Every time other people worry about him, he finds it sweet, but Jesper is a completely reckless madman. He always manages to survive like a supernatural cockroach. He came out of the many monster attacks he ran through without a single scratch on him. But he knows that most people aren't so lucky.

He's usually the one worrying about others because of his luck, so he does get it, and he's usually very gentle when someone else brings up their concern. Jesper doesn't live life safely, he throws himself head first into everything. Right then though he's a support system, putting an arm around Kell. ]

Come here.

[ Jesper pulls him into an embrace, knowing the power of a nice hug when things seem overwhelming. He simply holds him, running his fingers through his red hair soothingly, kissing the side of his head. ]

No, you're never an intrusion. And you know Mat, he wouldn't have minded.

[ Jesper assumes that Kell is referring to the fact he and Mat spent most of the visit in each other's pockets. Every time they have an opportunity to spend time together they do, and in that case they actually got to sleep together for the whole time. But it doesn't mean Jesper is off the table for anyone else who needed him. If anything Mat is the most understanding person alive on the matter. ]

My sweet Kell. I'm here now.

[There's so much earnest, unquestionable confidence in those words, with a tiny drop of self-deprecation, that makes Kell smile regardless of his dark mood.]

Well, that's all on you. You've made me care enough to worry.

[Kell had only one person he ever cared about. It's harder now. Not only he care for so many more people, but he wasn't able to protect even this one person. It already hit him when Kyle landed in infirmary. Kyle of all people. Last person, but Lucifer, that he'd expect to get seriously hurt ever. Then he and Rhy got pretty singed while trying to contain Linhardt. And this wasn't the worst. When Rhy got truly hurt, Kell wasn't even there to protect him. So yes, there's a lot very, very wrong with him. He might have fallen a beast, but he still feels that he failed where it meant the most.

It wouldn't be so surprising then that he leans into comfort that Jesper offers. It wouldn't ... if he wasn't himself. Kell knows value of a good hug. He knows how to comfort someone hurting. He just never expected it for himself. He bristles, scowls and huffs at attempts at touch. Spiky like some wild animal.

Not with Jesper. Jesper sails effortlessly through all of his defenses from the day they met. From the moment he laid his eyes on Kell, and decided he likes him. Somehow he finds the right words, the right touch, the right moment to smile, that Kell doesn't have a chance to protest. Doesn't even think to. He just melts into it.]

I know. That's why I didn't bother you then. You don't have all that many chances for uninterrupted time together.

[For someone called selfish and spoiled, Kell can be awfully considerate. Besides, it brings memories not only what he didn't get to do at the Fey ball, but what he actually did. Kell bites his lower lips, feeling the heat coloring his cheeks. Not only for the memories. No, it's the present company that never fails to raise his pulse.]

You are. [Those two words seamlessly flow into a low purr.] I have only one complaint. [Kell lifts his hand, with a smile that's mostly hunger in his eyes, he traces fingers down Jesper's jaw, the side of his neck, to hook them for a second on the collar of his shirt before he finally rests his hand against Jesper's chest. Both the blue and the black eyes fixed on him.] You have way too many clothes on you.

Next time, you talk to me. Forget our uninterrupted time. Caring about our friends is a top priority.

[ Jesper is firm on this. He is usually very easy-going but sometimes he wants to make a point clear, and he does now, squeezing Kell in a hug. Mat is like him, he knows that much. They wouldn't have minded someone hanging out with them, they're not completely absorbed in each other. They'll have other chances, biding their time until he can take Mat from Thorne and he'll choose to leave. Someday.

Jesper smiles at him, always liking when he gets forward, and he drops his hands to Kell's hips, comfortably. ]

Let's get a room. But Kell, we're going to talk first. You're going to tell me what's going on, and then we can fuck until we pass out. I'm not only interested in your dick.

[ While sex for them is fantastic and consuming and Jesper has every intention of stripping them naked and enjoying it, Kell asked him to meet him there because something serious is going on. And Jesper isn't a walking sex toy, he's a person who loves his friends and as he just said, it takes priority. Kell's mental wellness matters. He looks pale and messed up. Sex will always be there. He kisses him gently, message given, and then tugs him to get a room.

Jesper has the money to do that. The Crows pool their funds together and they're doing decently money-wise, especially compared to most. They probably won't ever be rich, not the rich they prefer, but they live well and can do things like get rooms in Nocwich. Jesper keeps his hand in Kell's as they get it all worked out and once they have the privacy of the room, he shrugs out of his jacket. ]

Okay, baby. Tell Jesper what's wrong.

[The declaration, in its absolute unambiguity, catches Kell completely by surprise. Its force and finality leaving him speechless. No one, ever, has told him he matters so much. That he's priority. Kell has always assumed no one ever will. He is the one making grand declarations to people not the other way round.

Only it makes him feel more rotten. It is deeply unfair of him to run away from any conversation after making a whole scene about his worry. Kell knows he looks like death warmed up. He's been skipping sleep, rest, meals, anything that made him stop and risk his rising panic will catch up with him. Sex, no matter how awesome it always is with Jesper, would have been just another way for him to avoid it. And Jesper is right, he deserves to know what all this fuss is about now that Kell has dragged him into it.

Kell hates it that Jesper must have noticed, it's impossible not to, how he flinched, tensed, and hesitated before entering the dark room Jesper rented for them. Before the lights went on. It's a second, and it passes, but the very fact that it happened at all is a sign of a deeper problem. He hoped he got over it. Apparently, he did not.

Once they're in, he sinks onto the bed. Deflated. Defeated.]

I can't do this anymore, Jesper. I just can't. It's one thing after another, after another, after another. The first moment I think I've got shit together, there's another one coming, and I'm back to barely holding it up.
One moment I think I'm doing fine, and the next it turns out I've been failing the whole time, I just didn't know it yet.

I'm so tired and ... [Kell stares down at his hands, hates himself more seeing they are shaking.] scared that one day, at some point, they are going to get hurt again, and I won't be there to protect them. Or worse. I will be there, but whatever I'll do still won't be enough. It's like throwing sticks at an avalanche.

[It's a garbled mess of an explanation with no rhyme or reason. Cryptic at best. But the floodgates has been opened and Kell has to spit the worst of it out before he can shape this torrent into something more coherent.]

[ Jesper is observant so he's paying close attention to Kell, and he sees all the markers of something going wrong. Multiple things being wrong. He is an excellent listener so he's not concerned about getting to the bottom of it, it's more a matter of getting them out of public so Kell doesn't have to try and pretend. He can try to pretend in private, but it won't work, and Jesper would call him out on it anyway.

He doesn't sit next to Kell, he pulls up one of the chairs there so he can sit across from him instead, so he can look at his face while he talks more clearly. Jesper scoots it in very close though, so it's easy for him to reach out and run fingers through Kell's hair, just be there for him, so he knows he can lean in and get comfort if he needs to.

Kell sounds a lot like Jesper himself there for a moment, only with the protection part. He's the protector himself, and when almost everyone he loved was captured, he went a little crazy. He takes one of Kell's shaking hands and holds it. ]

This is something I've had to accept myself, love, that the reality is we can't protect everyone we love at all times. It's impossible. All we can do is the best we can in the moment. Which isn't enough, I know, but it has to be something.

[ Jesper does understand where this is all coming from. If it's not specifically the aftermath of the kidnapping, they've had plenty of problems since. Abraxas is the example of when it rains, it pours, and they're all mostly forced to keep accepting what is happening to them. ]

I think you just never let yourself deal with the Pit, Kell. Knowing you, you were probably worried about everyone else but yourself, and you can't help other people if you don't help yourself.

[There's little than Kell needs more now than physical presence of another person. A listening, understanding, loving person. All that Jesper is and more. Getting it when he doesn't even know how to ask and what for. Is it this? Or was he at the breaking point already? Doesn't really matter. Jesper's words, wise and supportive as they are, crack a dam and the next moment Kell is all shaking. Trying to hold back the ugly sobs, and failing.]

But I should be! That's why I trained my whole life!

This is what he was supposed to be! The reason they even brought me in! A weapon for the crown yes, but a shield first! If I can't protect him what is the reason for my existence?! If I can't do this what am I even for ?!!

[Kell slaps a hand over his mouth seconds after he shouts his protests. Fuck. Two years, and the poison is still deep in his mind. A weapon. A shield. Blessed. Cursed. Inhuman. A thing.

He'd be pissed if he had any energy left to be angry. He doesn't. He leans into Jesper's touch. This is not what he came here for.]

I'm sorry. I . . . shouldn't be dragging you into this. I come here to see you. I needed to know that you weren't hurt. I just... I kept thinking that I couldn't stand if you got hurt badly, I know that I don't have much right to it. We don't know each other all that well, but I want to. I want to know you better. I think I ...

[I think I love you. It would have been so easy to say, but Kell stops himself midsentence. He doesn't want to break what they already have. He's already too intense for most people when he finally lets them to see him. He knows it now. It burns like a furnace in his heart. He wants - no, needs to - Jesper to see him.]

Deal with? [Kell blinks. He looks up at Jesper as if he suddenly started speaking Farosian. The Pit is past, and good riddance. He doesn't want to think about it ever again. What's more there to deal with?] Like how?

Edited (change the directionr where i want Kell to be going with this) 2023-10-16 00:01 (UTC)

Oh sweetheart. [ He shakes his head. ] You are so much more than a shield or a weapon.

[ Jesper reaches up to cup Kell's face in his hands, gray eyes staring deeply into his mismatched eyes. ]

Listen to me, whoever made you think that's all you're good for, fuck them. You belong to yourself. Even when you also belong to other people, you belong to yourself. Your existence doesn't hinge on someone else.

[ Jesper isn't a selfish person, he isn't saying it from an egotistical 'only I matter' way. But he does believe that people need to be at home in their own skin before they can do a thing for others. He's learning that himself, when he struggles to accept parts of himself that he hates, but he knows that he has to keep going. There's no stopping point that's acceptable. He's always very confident in himself and that is a necessity; to be who he is, you need that.

Jesper belongs to other people. His lovers, his crew, his family (found and real), he's always been a communal kind of guy. He cares about the whole. But if he has to live at home in himself, he can do that. He might not always like what he sees in the mirror but it's still him. ]

Baby, come on, stop that. [ Jesper kisses him gently, and then his cheeks and his forehead, sweet and soft and soothing. ] You have a right. You're my lover, my friend, my sweet Kell. You didn't drag me into anything, I came willingly.

[ He'd really like to punch Kell's tormenters straight in the face, whoever it was that convinced him he didn't deserve any good things in life. Jesper is aware that he's talking about Rhy, about his existence as his protector, he knows that much, but he also knows enough about Rhy to suspect that isn't how he sees Kell either. But neither of them can force Kell to see himself as clearly as others do. ]

You were traumatized, same as everyone down there.

[Kell lets off a sharp, joyless laugh. More a bark than a laugh really.]

That would be my parents, or rather Rhy's parents. Not him, though. Never him. [He huffs, the tension in his face easing into a weak smile.] He'd kick me for saying what I just did.

[And he will be so disappointed. Kell ended becoming what he was supposed to be not because their parents made him. It only happened because Rhy treated him differently. He thought them every step of the way. Kell learned to fight it too. Sometimes too much and in stupid ways. It stings that after all this time, it's their words and their expectations he defaults to under stress.

Kell feels beyond lucky that now he has Jesper to call him out on this too. Keep him in check, but also kiss him, call him baby and sweet. So kind and gentle. It's almost painful how good it feels to be treated like that. Like something precious, worthy of protection and care. Kell had never dared to expect that anyone else other than Rhy will ever see him this way. He told himself he was fine with the future when no one ever did.

Then came Jesper Fahey to utterly shatter his limited worldview. With his willingness to accept everything about Kell, even the things Kell did not accept about himself. Show him things he didn't know about himself. And now this.

Kell smiles. It's like weight has dropped from his chest, like he was drowning, but can Jesper has dragged him up to the surface and he can breath again. ]

I bet your other lovers tell you this all the time, but you are a treasure, Jesper Fahey. [He leans in kissing Jesper back, eyes closed, lips parted in wordless invitation. Both the blue and the black eyes fixed on Jesper when he finally pulls away.] I have no idea what I did to deserve you, but I feel stupidly lucky that I do. I mean it. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me here.

And you're right, I thought I was fine, but I guess I'm still a bit broken after it.

Then fuck them, Kell. You're your own person.

[ Jesper pauses and considers before continuing. He usually is someone who can be a support system for others without sharing much of himself. A cipher that way, and it's not because he's hiding anything, it's just due to an instinct to put others first. He's got a good head on his shoulders and some unwavering confidence and he surrounds himself with people who could use someone like him driving them forward. But this is fair enough, for him to share where this understanding comes from. ]

My dad is a good man but he never really saw me. He forced me to hide who I was, made me feel like it was something to be afraid and ashamed of, and doing so made me sick. Grisha get sick if they don't use their abilities, usually visibly they are, but for me, it's in my mind. Addiction, adrenaline seeking, impulsivity. My skin always feels like it's crawling and I can't sit still, even when I use my powers more like now. And I always fall back into it when I'm stressed or struggling.

[ Like a warm tight glove that feels right to wrap himself in whenever he's in a bad place. And it always is followed up by Jesper feeling ashamed and messed up, and hating himself when he usually doesn't. It's when those bad things in his brain win him, overpower his sense. It's a pattern though, started for him long ago. He's no stranger to parents that fuck you up, even if he did know his father loved him. ]

When he found out what I became, that I was a criminal, he was so angry and disappointed in me. All the love that I felt for myself, my genuine happiness at being a Crow, it was gone in a second.

[ There is something to be said for the disappointment of a parent being damned terrible. He loved his father, perhaps put him on a pedestal. He lied to him out of fear of rejection and that's exactly what happened to him. Rejection. Jesper still feels that pain now, because they made some peace, sure, but it doesn't change that Colm isn't happy with what he does. He was glad that he and Wylan did their own thing, but he would never accept Jesper being a Crow, not truly. ]

What I'm saying is everyone struggles with loving themselves, whether from internal or external conflict. But the people who love you as you are can't fix how you see yourself. Only you can do that.

[ Jesper had the love of the other Crows and Wylan tried to help him, but he had to help himself. Just as he can tell Kell all he wants to ignore Rhy's parents, but he can't solve it for Kell. But maybe it'll help to know that even someone as confident and positive as Jesper struggles with issues of self-worth. It's not something he shares widely so Kell is now being pulled into a confidante situation. Jesper trusts him. ]

What you did to deserve me was by being you, sweetheart. You don't have to convince me of your worth as a friend and lover.

[Aren't they similar in some ways? Ways Kell would never expect from anyone, least of all Jesper. The skin crawling thing. The people looking, but not seeing thing. How can you be so different and yet so similar. He understands now why they can do unspeakably terrible things to each other, and why it feels so good. For him it's burning of this restless energy that threatens to incinerate him from the inside, channeling it into something focused, something useful. Not just cruelty for cruelty's sake.]

It's awful. Your dad. He should have protected the real you, not the idea of you he had in his head.

[Kell is not half as eloquent as Jesper is, but he too felt so strongly the pain of rejection of who he really was. Half of the stupid things he did was in retaliation to Maxim not treating him like a son he was supposed to be to him. To Tieren for lying to him for his first years of his life in the palace that he was a prince, and their son. His own choices never being good enough to even be acknowledged.]

I think [Kell hesitates, but pushes through. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he's spoiled princeling just like Lila had said. He wouldn't know until says it.] I think I know what you mean when you say your skin crawls. That you cannot sit still.

I get this too. Antari magic is like a waterfall. Like this living maelstrom inside me. Like it has a will of its own. It wants to create, to change, to transform. If I can't, it builds and builds, eating away at me until I do something with it. But if I use it, it only wants more. It's like trying to tame a hurricane. I had to learn to control it, it took years, and still sometimes I slip...

[Kell bites his lower lip. He knows he's rambling, but there is a point he's trying to make. That's why the Pit messed him up so much that he hasn't yet recovered.]

What I'm trying to say is, I know no one can fix me. [A rare moment of self-reflection on his part.] Even if sometimes I wish someone could. But you're saying you'll have me anyway, and I ... I think you're absolutely perfect as you are.

He fell apart when my mother died. They had the kind of love that I don't actually want, where you can't exist without each other. It's a romantic idea but an unhealthy one.

[ That's not how Jesper himself looks at love, as anyone can tell when they see the relationships they do have. And what Kell has with him, he knows first-hand what Jesper's love can be. Supportive. Kind. Playful. He can live without his loved ones but he doesn't want to. It's not usually them that breaks him, it's his own mind, his own sickness. ]

She died using our powers, so he was afraid of what would happen to me. In a lot of ways I raised myself. He was just trying to exist without her. We're doing better now that we're more honest with each other.

[ Jesper isn't making excuses for him, he's in a more realistic place about his feelings regarding his father. Colm is flawed and for a long time Jesper couldn't see that, he blamed everything on himself, not his father. But if there is anyone who can have compassion for flawed people, it's him, and once he saw his father that way, they were able to talk for real. They're closer than they've ever been now. Or they were, before he came here. The funny thing is that his father would be a whole lot more proud of how he is here. No crime. Helping out people. Making money as a merchant. Alas.]

It's not even about being fixed, Kell, because I'm not sure we're broken, we're just what the world's made of us. But it doesn't matter, because we're doing our best to make a life here, and that has to be enough.

[ It has to be enough because there's no other choice. This is where they are and what they're doing. Jesper's found peace in that. He misses his life before but it's been pretty easy to settle here. He's adaptable. He thinks Kaz is starting to get used to this too, he was the hardest to get there. Inej has her faith to guide him, and Jesper has his loving heart. ]

Saints, I am not perfect, believe me. I wouldn't like myself if I was, perfect would be so boring. If you mean I'm perfectly flawed, I'd agree with that.

[ He takes Kell's hand and kisses it sweetly. ]

Does Rhy know how you're feeling with all of this?

[Unhealthy. What was ever either of Kell's whole two romantic relations up to this point other than unhealthy? He's never gone anything less than full in. With jealous, desperate, obsessive need. He knows how it feels to be unable to live without the other person. To be willing to die for them. This what love was always for him. A suffocating, all-devouring firestorm.

What he feels for Jesper is anything but that. Because he feels things for him. It's not only desire anymore. He's just too afraid to name them. As if putting a word on it would break the spell, and he likes what they have too much. It feels good, and safe, and ... happy. Unlike anything before.

But it doesn't mean he agree when Jesper says they are not broken. He might not be, but Kell knows he is.]

If I'm not broken than why can't I go out on my own when it's dark outside again? I thought I was fine. It's kind of annoying to come to Nocwich when I'm like that. [He sighs. Jesper can't know. He didn't see him right after the Pit.] After the kidnappings, when we were back, and they finally let me out of infirmary. [After his close encounter with an avalanche, Kell was one of the last out.] I found that if it was night, and the street was completely empty, I would just freeze. There was nothing there, but I couldn't move. I had to call Kyle or Rhy to walk me back from the teashop to the castle.

I got better with time. I thought it went away. That it was gone.

But then the rifts started appearing, then the beasts, then Kyle landed in the infirmary, Rhy got hurt, and next thing I know I stand at the door, it's dark outside, not a soul on the street, and I feel it again. The same fucking dread. And I cannot move. What is that other than broken?

[Kell shrugs. He had no one to call that time, so eventually, he got out and walked all way to the castle feeling he'd die every step of the way. But he did it. And never said a word to Rhy. Last thing he wanted was for him to worry when he was supposed to rest and heal. Somehow, Rhy knew anyway.]

I think so? We don't really talk about such things a lot, but he was always able to read right through me. [For many, very complicated and equally as many very simple reasons. Now he just shivers.] He would have known for sure back home, and most likely be pretty annoyed at me too. We had a bond back there. Here, we don't. Singularity stole it from me. [Why he did nothing to get it back is a whole deal on its own.]

Rhy doesn't like it here. [An understatement of a century. It's not only being ripped away from your home, your life and your family. Some of it is Kell's fault too.] I'm the one better off, not him.

[ Jesper listens to him talk about the darkness and about the aftermath of the Pit, and he's not the first person to express this kind of struggle. Kaz and Inej hate talking about it, but they have, and he thinks if he hears anything more specific at this point, he'd just go kill all of the imprisoned acolytes. He wants to every day, sometimes he lets himself daydream about their deaths, quick or slow, and knows he can't actually do it. Not now, at least. But he's tempted, and he's tempted again, listening to Kell.

They deserve to die, especially for the fact that months later Kell's still afraid of the dark. For a moment Jesper's eyes are very dark, not their usual light silver, as he contemplates the amount of blood he'd like to spill, but he focuses instead on what he can actually do. Which is be there for Kell. ]

You're not broken, you're a survivor of something terrible, and you survived because you're strong. You were traumatized, love, but you can heal, you just need to give yourself more time. It doesn't go away all at once.

[ Jesper knows it's frustrating. He hopes that going back to the island, if they're allowed to, will provide people with some closure. It's the only thing he can think of outside of time, and no one wants to be that patient here. He's still cringing from the heralds last year. ]

I think you should talk about it more. You can always talk to me, but I think he'd want to be there for you too, given the chance. Relationships need to go both ways.

[ Technically they displayed that just in the past few minutes. Jesper sharing some of his past, Kell sharing his feelings, this is a back and forth that is of the healthy variety. It's not that Jesper thinks Rhy is avoiding topics, he just doesn't necessarily have the full picture, and he's a good man, he should. ]

Well sure, he's a prince there, yeah? Gotta be better than being a captive in an alien world. Doesn't mean he wants you to keep your feelings locked up from him because you feel differently.

Thanks, Jesper. That's probably better way of looking at it. I just ... [Kell shrugs. He doesn't have good words to describe the maddening mix of frustration, anger and fear that flood his brain in those moments. The way it makes his heart race and chest tighten even thinking about it.] I hate being so limited. I hate feeling so, well, weak. [He's an Antari. Nothing like that should have ever happened to him. And yet it did.]

We're not really good at talking. I mean, especially me. Well, actually, mostly me. Rhy is very good at talking. To the point that I don't always know when he's serious or just teasing. But it's also...yeah, getting me to talk usually requires criminal amount of alcohol. Otherwise, it's like pulling teeth.

[That's part of their problem. They know each other for so long and so well, it sometimes slides into expecting that the other would know without asking. Because they so often do. Kell, for his part, hates talking about problems. His usual tactic is to run away, wait them out in hope they will resolve themselves. Definitely not talk.]

Yeah, he wouldn't. He hates it when I keep things from him, and I don't want to, but ... [Kell sighs. A long, tired exhale of someone know he's doing wrong, but can't do right for too many reasons, all of them too complicated. Where in fact, it's actually simple. It's just him making things more complicated then they should be.] I still do. I just, I don't know, I ... I have no idea how to talk about some things. It's a lot. Too much. I don't want to. Like the Pit. I just want to forget about the whole thing, but it fucking keeps coming back all the time. Like as if it won't ever leave me alone. All I want is to forget, and at least pretend I'm like I was before it. Even if I know that I'm not. I just want it to go away.

[Kell never told anyone the whole story. Not even Rhy. Though Rhy got the most. In pieces, across weeks, still not all. Kell shakes his head.]

I just want it to go away.

You? Not good at talking? I can't see it.

[ Jesper is gently teasing him because of course he knows that about him. It took Kell a while to be willing to talk to him about the sex they were actively having, it's clear he struggles with communication. But Jesper is fantastic at communication in comparison and so is Rhy, they have that in common. But Rhy and Kell have so many of their own issues baked in that it's probably easier for Kell to talk to an outsider.

He runs his fingers through Kell's hair and kisses his cheek so he knows he's playing around. The last thing he wants is to make him clam up around Jesper too. ]

Sweetheart, that didn't even happen that long ago. It's going to take longer than a few months for all of you to get past this, and you lot need to give yourselves a break over it.

[ Inej and Kaz are the same way, and most people he knows who went to the Pit struggle with this. He understands it's because they want it to be over with, which is what Kell's saying, but unfortunately that's not how it all works. ]

Maybe you all need a support group. Talk about what happened to people who actually know. What we went through on the outside was something too, but it's not the same thing. You don't think everyone else is weak because they're struggling, do you? I know you don't, because I know you.

[ Jesper is doing all kinds of physically soothing things as they talk. Touches, letting Kell know he's there, and he picks up his hand to kiss it now, just trying to be there for him in all the ways he can. As comforting as possible. He went through some shit on the outside, like the others, but he doesn't talk about that with anyone. So he's somewhat a hypocrite, it's just a different situation. ]

You are harder on yourself than anyone should be. You aren't weak, and having feelings doesn't make you weak, and needing to talk about your feelings doesn't make you weak. Whatever shit people have told you otherwise is just that, shit.

That's right. My eloquence knows no bounds. Obviously.

[Sarcasm is better than his previous agitated brooding, but Kell is still far from fine. He leans forward, rests his forehead on Jesper's shoulder, eyes closed, and for a long moment he just breathes. Soaking in Jesper's warmth and closeness.]

It's a lot, but that's my problem. I don't want to dump it on anyone. Not Rhy, not you. To add my weight to problems that other people already have. I don't want to burden people I love. [He sighs, frustration mixed with sheer, plain exhaustion.] But it's too much. I'm not used to breaking under pressure, but now? Everything seems to be happening non-stop and I can't catch a break. I don't know if talking will help. I surely don't want to. I feel too tired to talk. All I can think of is how I just want a moment of peace, so can catch my damned breath.

[That might be it. Yes, a lot is happening, but it's on him too. His frantic running around, filling every waking minute with activity, stopping only to eat and barely sleep? Running away from bad memories yes, but also not giving himself a chance to properly rest.]

I'm so tired, Jesper.

Kell, listen to me. When you love someone, you want to share their burdens. You talking about it with me is a gift, it means you trust me, and that you're letting me be here for you. That's what I want, it makes me happy.

[ Jesper is a champion at the two-way street. Whether it's in friendship or in bed, he never takes something he can't give too. While it is harder for him to share his own struggles, he's so much more comfortable being the support system, he has done better about it. And he does think that if he needed to, he could tell Kell. He trusts him too. ]

Okay, come here, let's lie down together.

[ Jesper tugs Kell gently and kicks off his shoes, moving onto the bed and not in a 'come hither' way, in the more comfortable way one might with a long-term partner or when alone. He has shed his coat and vest to be more comfortable too, so he's dressed down, casual. He pats the bed next to him in a continued request for Kell to join him.

The two of them have sex so frequently that they haven't had a lot of time to simply settle into each other's company, and that's what he wants, which is why he isn't being suggestive or flirtatious. Yes he could distract and comfort Kell with his body, but he's trying it the other way for now. He makes room for Kell to lie down next to him if he takes the invitation. ]

How about I'll share something with you from the outside that fucked me up? That way you aren't the only one.

[ That isn't easy. He is trying. It's why Jesper looks at the ceiling and not at him at first, and he has to take a pause while he decides what he wants to say. ]

I went berserk. There's no better word for it. I've always tried to injure people rather than kill, if possible, but I was not holding back. I tortured people, I killed them, and I enjoyed it. And that's ... not normal for me.

[ Jesper usually gives himself some leeway with the reality that he's a killer. A damned good one at that. He will and does kill, but considering he has gone for the wound instead of the kill, it means he can control himself, that he's not as dark and violent as the people in the Barrel who can't come back. ]

I wanted - I still want - to kill every one of them. If I could get to them in the prison, I think I would've already done it.

[Jesper doesn't have to ask him twice. Kell sheds his coat and kicks off his shoes to join him on the bed. He snuggles as close as he possibly can. Him seeking comfort from the other person is not even rare. It practically never happens. That it does with Jesper is evidence to how far they have gone together, and how much Jesper in all that he says and does affects Kell. Unusual, amazing, impossible, challenging, but always, always in a good way. Makes him think, makes him see things differently.]

I never thought about it this way.

[He admits readily, because this is Jesper, and just as he said, he trusts Jesper. It feels like a privilege when Jesper shares some of his horror with him. It's only then that Kell understands what he said first.

Kell reaches for Jesper's hand, intertwines their fingers. He knows, he understands the black, burning poison of just wanting to erase someone from the face of the world. He killed people in the past. Not in anger, no, this would be too much like him. He did it cold and methodical. Slowly planning and executing his vengeance. Made them feel they were dying. Bone magic makes up for an awfully painful way to die.]

It's awful. It's fucked up. I know that's not you, but I understand it.

[Kell has no illusions what his training was all for. What he was expected to do in case Rhy was in danger. But this is different. It's the rage that does not go away even if after the danger did.]

So do I. I'm not proud of it. Not at all. It just is what it is.

[Thing is, they're both killers. Kell led sheltered life so he didn't have to fight for survival. Lila called him spoiled princeling, and she was right, but he has an edge to him that Rhy doesn't.

He was against leaving any acolytes alive. Even those that surrendered. He obliterated the pair that got on their trail when they were fleeing through the mountains. Call it self-defense, and it even was, but his use of force was so excessive that he shocked Dante who was there with him.]

Edited (i guess i must surrender to always having to edit ...) 2023-11-21 12:36 (UTC)

[ Jesper is happy to cuddle so he moves onto his side to face Kell and loops an arm around him, curling in close to him. He lets him take his hand but it's clear that even the confession disturbs him. Some of his cheerful walls are coming down and he sighs, running his thumb along Kell's knuckles. ]

I've killed a lot of people. More than I want some of the people I love here to know.

[ But he's trusting Kell with that information. He's not going to tell Wilhelm about how he's a murderer who went on a berserker state to get them back. He hasn't even told Mat the extent of what he did to get them back, anything he could do, anything that was put in front of him as a possibility. Whether that was torture or jumping into the lake in Aquila and diving to the very bottom in a questionable underwater suit. If he drowned down there he'd know he did it trying to save them.

He definitely doesn't want Sam to know. He didn't want Sam to know a damned thing about any actions he took during that and intentionally hid it from him. Sam's too good to know the extent of what his adopted kid can do. He's probably guessed that Jesper has done some questionable things, and as a soldier he'd understand, but the loss of that love is something he's experienced from his father. He can't risk it again. ]

But it was usually in fights or because of the gang wars, there were reasons. I had a reason here too, but I couldn't stop, I was in a bloodlust by the end.

[ Jesper was in the rescue team and he killed quite a few more people before he got to the survivors. Luckily when he did get to them, he was able to shift his brain to protecting them, dragging Kaz and Inej back to safety instead of going after their captors. So he was able to shake himself out of it, he wasn't so far gone.

Jesper is more serious than he's ever been around Kell for this entire thing. He knows that Kell won't judge him, considering he mentioned torture and he was reassured right away, but it's more that he's judging himself. Because he went over the line. He's always going over the line. Too much gambling, too much killing, too much sex. He doesn't do things in halves, all or nothing. ]

I would have done anything to get you back, to get you all back.

If I was on the outside, with Wilhelm and Mat and Istredd in? I probably would have done the same. I would have done everything to get them back. And I mean everything.

[They both have sides to themselves that are pretty scary. Kell doesn't know what to think about that he's more fine with himself being monstrous that he is with feeling weak. As if some of the cold steel of White London seeped into his blood through all those visits over the years, and stayed there. But he knows what he sees, because he recognizes it in himself.]

That's desperation. You were desperate. In desperation, we can do unthinkable. [He knows he did. The black, spidery lines of the magic seal on his chest are evidence of it.] But you came back.

[There's determination in Kell's voice to get his message across. Not only for Jesper. He is saying it to him, yes, but he's also saying it for himself as much. He needs to believe that no matter how far he'd go off the rails, he'll be able to come back. For Rhy. For Istredd, for Jesper, and Mat, and Kyle... he has so many people here to come back to.]

You came back for them.

[Kell closes his eyes, he kisses Jesper, whispering against his lips.]

You came back for me. I think that's pretty awesome.

[Saints, it must be love. What else can it be? They're telling each other things that would have scared away most people, but Kell sees this as dedication. Something he has too. Something that can, and did, make him do horrible things. And instead of being repulsed, it makes him attracted to Jesper more. Their shadows match, and it's terrifying, and beautiful, and powerful. But Kell is not attracted to Jesper's shadow, but to that even having it, Jesper is still Jesper. The shadow is part of him, but not all about him. He can shake it off. Break away from its influence. His light shines stronger for it, and to Kell that's irresistible.]

To me, you are perfect.

I don't know if there was a line I wouldn't cross to get all of you back. I crossed all the ones that were in front of me.

[ So he didn't know what was left after that. More killing? More torture? He was already in that state of mind. Jesper was willing to kill even after he promised he wouldn't, after they told that bandit mother they'd set her son free if she told them everything. He was ready to kill her and him, without a second thought, without a blink of an eye. It was only Nadine's insistence that stopped him, and he still looked to Dean, knowing if he told him to do it, he would regardless. There was no moral high ground left for him. ]

I was desperate. We were close to a collective meltdown. I don't know what would have happened if we were too late.

[ Jesper doesn't think he could come back from it. He would either break or stop feeling at all. Become a shell of a person. They were so close to losing them. He knows that the people in the Pit went through a lot, but so did people on the outside. The constant state of helplessness and fear went both ways. Almost all of his lovers were taken, he was unstable to say the least.

This is Jesper and so is his usual smiling relaxed self. He lives to pretend to be shallow, but he's anything but. He's fine letting Kell see that now. He keeps his truest self under the mask of cheerful indifference and he looks at Kell, cupping his cheek affectionately. His pretty redhead, all soft skin and darkness underneath. He shakes his head, leaning over him, kissing him gently. ]

I'm not perfect, and I wouldn't want to be. I'm very flawed, Kell. And I'm okay with you knowing that.

[ Which is a sign of real intimacy. Letting them see each other without any masks. Jesper is touching him with sincere affection, not their wild state of sexual need. It is all very sweet and he's glad for it. He thinks Kell is very sweet, underneath his intensity, and he didn't know he was until Jesper, in many ways. He looks into Kell's mismatched eyes and smiles. ]

I love you. I want you to know that too.

[There's lot that can be said about Kell. He's impulsive, dramatic, grumpy, has way too little control over his temper. Hardly any of it would make him a coward, but he tends to run away from problems and hard topics. Usually, it's a very bad idea. Usually, it's for the better when he finally makes himself admit and spit it out what's been bothering him. With one exception, the 'what ifs' and 'could have beens'. Those he tend to overthink when he just should leave them alone. Those work better when he does not think about them. When he doesn't want to think about them. Those are the things impossible to resolve. What would he do if he were in Jesper's place? How far he would go if it was him on the outside and Rhy on the inside? Does a line that he wouldn't have crossed even exists for him?
It's better to leave those question be and don't think about it too hard. If he did, he might very much don't like the answers, and he might have been wrong anyway.]

But you weren't. You came, and you saved us. That's what matters.

[Knowing there's a darkness inside and actively looking into it are not the same things. Kell reaches up, wraps his arms around Jesper's neck, closing his eyes as he fully gives into the kiss. It's sweet and tender, two things Kell always has difficulty accepting. Always on his toes, always vigilant. But he's not like that with Jesper. He'll take everything that Jesper is willing to give him, to show him. There are no expectations between them, and it's wonderful and freeing. There's nothing to prove, nothing to be sorry about. With Jesper, he can just be.]

You and I have very different definitions of perfect it seems. I prefer flawed. Flawed does not [Kell opens his eyes, stares into Jesper's, gray like the sea, silver like the moon, and marvels how right it all feels.] scare me. You saw the whole of me and you did not run. [Too many people did. Even when all they had seen was barely a fraction.] And I did not run either.

[Underneath his grumpy exterior, the brooding, the drama, his unwillingness to trust, his tendency to see the worst in people. The darkness, the turmoil and hunger of his blood magic. Under all this, there's a person good and kind, who cares deeply. So deeply that he'd go out of his way to make an old, blind king smile, while the man's own family just waited for him to die, and Kell's family didn't make a tiniest of effort to write more than a bare sentence of useless platitudes in their letters.
Who'd risk his life for people who doesn't know him, care about him or even fear him. A person who's ambitious, but also just and sweet, and sometimes funny. A good storyteller with a keen eye for detail. Barely anyone sees this person ever. For long time, Rhy was the only who knew it existed. Now, Jesper knows too.]

I love you too.

[Everything is so different with Jesper. Kell knows that Jesper belongs with the Crows first, then Matt, and only then with him. But knowing that doesn't make him feel third in line. Not the way his adopted parents made him feel. Their love, if he can even call this love, their acceptance, was always conditional. It makes him feel a part of something. Makes him feel wanted, seen and accepted with everything he has, everything he is. Like he belongs too. It's rare and beautiful, and Kell doesn't know what to do, how to react to it, only that he wants it to last.]

We did save you, yeah. Best as we could.

[ To be fair, they did escape on their own, but at least the Summoned on the outside were already on their way. They found the location just before it was announced so they were able to get there before anyone died in the wilderness. It would've been an extra tragedy if they escaped only to die of exposure. Instead they made it in time and he got to sweep his loved ones into his arms, breathing if badly damaged. It was scarring for everyone, the worst thing that happened to them in this land. And they probably will never feel fully safe again. ]

I would never run from you.

[ But he understands why Kell would be afraid that he would. Their first sex experience surprised Kell due to his sudden need for something more violent than he expected. He's come a long way since his confusion over why he needed to use Jesper's body that way, and it's been a pleasure to help him come to terms with it, without feeling bad about it. It would seem like it's his dark side coming out and other people probably would have struggled with his needs, not everyone loves it like Jesper does, but that's why he thinks they're well suited.

Jesper also doesn't run from anyone. Back home he did when he had good reasons to run, but other than that, he's always been obnoxiously brave. Unerringly bold. There is not much Kell could do to concern him.

Jesper also doesn't think about people in terms of who comes first. Technically, yes, the Crows are his family, Mat is his love, but he doesn't put people into categories either. He doesn't love Kell third best, he loves people with all of his heart every time. He doesn't compare because there's no reason to. His heart is made up of infinite pieces he can give away without fear. Despite being ridiculously confident in his ability to be loved, he still enjoys hearing it, and he smiles at Kell's confession. He cups his cheek gently, looking deeply into his eyes.

He uses his body to encourage Kell to move onto his back and gracefully moves on top of him, kissing him slowly. ]

We have the whole night ahead of us, darling, but I'd like to make love to you first. I want you to feel how much I adore you, and that I want to take care of you, treasure you.

[ Jesper kisses his cheeks and nuzzles at his neck. ]

I can help you feel better.

[It is not easy for Kell to say it. What Jesper does not and cannot know, is how truly hard it really is for him. How confusing, how utterly terrifying it is not only to think but to say those words out loud. How much time Kell spent specifically, intentionally not thinking about them. Trying to avoid defining what he feels, because he does not understand it one bit, and staring at something he does not understand is like staring into his own inner darkness. He does not know what to expect, it frightens him, and he's all too used to running away from things he fears. Yet, finally, miraculously, laboriously, the burning need to say the words won.

Most often, Kell's recklessness stems not from courage or conviction, but from a wish to skip over the paralyzing fear of looking at himself and not recognizing what he sees. There are so few people that make him look. That take time, have patience, to hold his hand as he does. Rhy was always the first to succeed in it.
Now Jesper has his own way of doing it.

Kell doesn't need much encouragement. He rolls to his back easily. Eager to feel the weight of Jesper's body on him. Relaxed and content by the promise, and the anticipation of more to come.]

Oh yes, Jesper. I want to feel you.

[Breathless and still dizzy from the kiss, he shivers. All the sweet promises already lighting his blood on fire. Saints, it's unbearable how much he wants this. They're only kissing, it has no right to feel this good. But it's always been Jesper's special talent to be able to reduce Kell to a trembling mess solely with his words. A strategically placed kiss, a caress, those work too. They do not detract from the power his words have.]

Mhhhm, I know you will. You always do.

[ Jesper loves that they can be so very naughty and sweet in equal measures. He's always been someone who enjoys variety in the bedroom and Saints know the two of them have quite the variety of what they do together. He thinks it's important in this moment for Kell to feel loved, that their confessions to each other be underlined as important as they should be. Every touch between them, every kiss or soft sound, will have meaning.

Jesper's glad they already got rid of their shoes and dressed down so they could snuggle comfortably, since that means there are less layers to worry about. Not that he would mind peeling more things off of Kell. They've shared a lot with each other and Kell really let himself be emotionally vulnerable, and Jesper wants to reward him for it, so he knows he can always come here. He kisses his neck, sucking gently, putting a knee between Kell's legs to encourage them to spread and sit up slightly so he can help take Kell's shirt off. His nimble fingers make short work of that and then down to his pants to undo them.

Jesper brushes his mouth over Kell's body, familiarity with it only making sex easier because he knows what he likes. He slides his hand underneath Kell's clothing so he can touch him, rubbing the palm of his hand down against him with solid friction. Trace along his cock with teasing fingers, teasing his balls as his mouth covers one of his nipples. ]

I love touching you. [ He knows how much Kell likes to hear him talk, which is good as Jesper loves to talk. ] The only thing better than touching you is tasting you. Your pretty skin is so sweet. [ He licks around a nipple. ]

Do you want my mouth on you, sweetheart? [ He whispers into his stomach as he moves down. ] Is that what you need?

[There are different needs that exist within him simultaneously. Kell does not switch between cruel and tender, between the desire to give and receive pleasure. It's all there all the time. The beautiful thing, one of its myriad gifts, in having sex with Jesper, or simply being in his company, is that he doesn't have to pick one and shun the rest. He can be all, whole in his complicated, scarred messiness. Show him all, fully let him in. So he does.

Kell lets Jesper guide him up, take his shirt off, spread his legs to give Jesper better access to his body, freely responding to all this wonderful attention with moans and whimpers, his breath quickening, his pulse already racing. And if there's one more thing making it all even better, it's hearing Jesper talk. Kell loves it when Jesper tells him what he's going to do to him and how much they're both going to enjoy it. That Kell is able to answer is evidence to how far they have gone from that first night on the ship. And that - when it's his turn - Kell is able to tell Jesper what he wants to do to him too. Still not easy, but possible. Nothing short of a miracle knowing where they started.]

I love it when you touch me.

[Jesper knows exactly how to touch him for Kell to slowly, but completely unravel, melt into his hands. Hot breath on Kell's bare skin, decisive slide of his hand down Kell's body, both pulling his attention immediately to the sensation and keeping it there. Jesper's word flashing heat right through him in anticipation of promised pleasure.]

Yes, a-ah, Jesper. [Whatever smart response Kell had prepared is reduced to a string of breathless pleas.] I want it, I need it. Your sweet lips, your tongue, I want to feel them on me.

That's my good, sweet Kell.

[ When Kell lets him take off the shirt, lifts up so he can strip him more, his body open and eager to let Jesper have control right now. It does make him good and sweet, and he's always known from the start that Kell holds opposites in himself when it comes to sex. He knew from their first time when he unlocked something dark in the man, only leading to his confusion at the time, but now he's not afraid of either. This is the same Kell who will probably fuck him like an animal later. ]

But for right this instant, he deserves to be treasured and gently handled, after what he's been through.

[ Jesper pulls the rest of Kell's clothes off and puts them to the side, able to reach out and get the lubricant from his jacket easily, setting it down. He takes a moment to look at Kell naked and spread out underneath him. ]

So beautiful. So vulnerable. But you trust me, don't you, love? You know I'll never be anything but good to you.

[ That trust is integral to why this works between them. They were strangers in the start but Jesper knew instinctively that Kell was someone he could drop his guard with. There was always something about him that felt vulnerable on the inside, fragmented, ready to be pieced together without knowing how. He lifts one of Kell's legs up onto his shoulder to give him more room between his legs.

Since this is the mood they're in more right then, Jesper takes his time pulling Kell apart. He nuzzles his balls, sucks on them gently, kisses all along the shaft with licks around him, playing for longer than Kell probably wants before he puts his mouth finally on the head. Even then though he takes good long licks along the slide and the underside, tantalizing but not fully taking him until he can't bear to resist. Kell's done this enough times to know that Jesper always gives in eventually, sometimes it's a patience game, and he enjoys this too much.

When he finally takes him in, it's to the root, not teasing anymore with dipping his head lower with time, just surrounding Kell all at once with his mouth, letting him touch his throat at the end. When he has him hot and hard between his lips, he opens the lube one-handed and pushes one finger in him at the same time. ]

Edited 2023-12-21 16:52 (UTC)

[Trust is essential to what they have. Without trust, Jesper would have never seen the dark part of Kell, and he accepts that one a lot more, than he does his helpless, needy part. Which is the one that Jesper experience now, when he treats Kell with such veneration.

Being the pretty body on display soaking admiration and praise. Indulged and pampered, like some exotic creature deserving its special treatment. A vessel for pleasure as much as the source of it. All this stands in direct contrast to the person Kell usually considers himself to be. In more contrast to what he lets other people see. He allows it for Jesper. Not only allows, he actively wants him to see. Like that time in Jesper's Horizon domain when Jesper made a mirror on the ceiling showing Kell how beautiful they look together, and Kell who never thought about himself as pretty - handsome, interesting, compelling, maybe, but not beautiful - stared at their bodies moving together in awe; the image etched into his memory forever. He wants Jesper to see what he showed him then. To make Jesper look at him with the same hunger, he did then. Like he looks at him now, after he undressed Kell completely.]

Yes, [Kell agrees, eyes half-closed, lips curled in a lazy smile, spreading his legs wider, shifting his body to make it even more enticing.] and all of it for you to play with.

[He reaches down to caress Jesper's cheek, but lets his hand fall onto the bed the moment Jesper lifts his leg over his shoulder.]

I know and I trust you.

[All else, if there even was anything left, gets drowned by the stream of moans that spill out of Kell's lips once Jesper starts. He takes his sweet, sweet time with Kell. Thread by thread winding him up, hot and hard, all but begging for a release, and yet enjoying every second of delay. It's not the mindless madness they sometime indulge in, but a slow and deliberate process of increasing the pressure. Kell enjoys every second of it. There can only be one more thing that would made it feel even better. One thing he hungers for even more than Jesper's mouth on his cock.

When Jesper finally swallows him whole all the way down to the hilt, Kell almost cries out. It's like with the mirror, but this time Kell wants to see. He lifts his head to look. The sight of Jesper's head buried between his thighs renders Kell speechless. But what breaks it for him is feeling that single finger slip in so effortlessly. Selfish and greedy, Kell already wants more. It's only because of the trust they share that Kell is able to ask for it.]

I want you in me, Jesper. [Every word of his half plea, half demand, leaves Kell's lips followed by a moan or stretched into one.] I want you to make love to me slowly. I want to feel every inch of you.

[ Jesper thinks most people are attractive; even the unattractive can have qualities that appeal to him, he's a very open-minded person. Some of the best fucks he's ever had are with people who usually don't get the attention. Kell is, however, absolutely gorgeous. Jesper could write odes to his right leg. He could write poems about the muscles in his back. The Horizon giving them the opportunity to see how hot they were from every angle was perfect and he definitely thinks about it in his daydreaming time.

One of the things he loves about Kell is his response. He's so open in his need, but only because there's trust between them. His moans and reactions are delicious and how much he loses himself in their sex is endlessly thrilling. Few things are hotter to Jesper than the other person having a great time and being vocal about it. It only spurs him on. This next part requires skill.

The skill is in giving Kell what he wants, sucking on his cock, sliding his slickened fingers into him, but only bringing him to the edge instead of tumbling him over it. His mouth is very slow on Kell, giving him the wetness and a steady bob of his head, but not being as relentless as he can be. The relentless part is in how he's stretching him, pleased that Kell's gotten to the point where he relaxes far easier now, his need for penetration making him easier to open up. By the third finger he's compliant and Jesper pulls off him with a loud pop. ]

Saints, I need you, baby, you're going to feel how much.

[ Jesper couldn't talk before but now he can so he plans on it. He crawls up Kell's body and strokes himself very quickly to get the lubricant on. He's painfully hard just from the joy of getting Kell off. He keeps Kell's leg at his will and this time he moves it from his shoulder to his hip. He scrambles to get a pillow to place it under Kell's lower back to make this easier on him, always careful to get his lovers as comfortable as possible. Sometimes they're wild and don't care, but this is all about Kell's pleasure. He is pampering him, all of this for him.

Well, not all of it, because when Jesper pushes inside of him, it's definitely for him too. The flood of pleasure nearly has him go mad for a moment, it goes so smoothly for him to move to the hilt. He keeps himself from snapping or going too rough, not for this start, he promised sweet and he means it. ]

You feel like you were made to fuck and be fucked by me, sweetheart, it always feels so right, doesn't it?

[ Jesper kisses his face sweetly, his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw, ending it on his lips to delve into his mouth. This kiss is passionate and intense, a contrast to the steady and soft way that he pulls out of Kell and back into him, so smooth and simple. ]

[There has been time when Kell has used sex as a drug. To forget, to run away, to shut up his overactive mind, feed his hungry magic. Not with Jesper. Not even when he's using his body, abusing it in all the wonderfully devious ways they devise for their mutual pleasure. He's never absent, never lets his focus drift away from the moment, from what they are doing, what he is doing to Jesper... or what Jesper is doing to him.Even then Kell is still learning his own body, its wants, needs and desires, as much as he is learning Jesper's.

But he's always been a quick learner, a good student, and he learns best what can draw and keep his attention. Jesper is an absolute master of it able to hold and direct Kell's focus wherever he pleases. And there are many things that please him. Like keeping Kell at the very edge, delirious with anticipation, yet acutely aware of long fingers inside of him working him open so blissfully slow that Kell could swear seconds stretch into minutes and time simply works differently. The hedonistic urge to drag it longer, to build the pressure higher, fights within him with the raw need to demand that Jesper just fuck him already.]

Show me.

[Kell lets Jesper move him around however his wishes. To carefully arrange him, with a pillow under his back, his leg hooked over Jesper's hip, all open and waiting. He cries out when Jesper pushes in, one fluid motion to go fully in. Finally getting what he all but begged for. Not an orgasm yet, Kell doesn't allow himself that. He wants Jesper to fuck him into oblivion. For Jesper to be the one to intentionally push him over the edge. Not an orgasm, but an equally blissful sensation of being so stretched and filled, it makes it hard to breath around.]

All the time. Do you feel it? Right here. How perfectly it fits? [Kell moans, squeezing and releasing his previously relaxed muscles, as if he could pull Jesper deeper with it. Make him can feel it more.] Fuck me long, Jesper. Fuck me until I cannot breathe. Fuck me, so I can ruin you later.

[Now that he has Jesper at the right height to reach, Kell winds his arms around him. Holding on to him, nails digging into skin of his arms, his back, his ass, just as Jesper starts to move. Pitiful whimpers when he pulls out, obscene moans when pushes back in, until both get muffled by Jesper's lips on his, eager to let him in.]

[ Jesper groans when Kell squeezes around him and yes, it is perfect, this is perfect. Kell is the hottest sheath for him he could ever look for and it is only Jesper's control over himself that keeps him from simply fucking them both into quick and wild release. Every time he's in him there is that impulse though, because they are so in tune with each other, they fit. He's had a lot of sex in his life and most of it good, but there is something unique about two people who have explosive chemistry in bed. And that's them. Sometimes it's all he can do to keep from going crazy inside of Kell.

Jesper plasters himself entirely over Kell, lining their bodies up as he moves in a slow rhythm. It makes it easy for Kell to get a hold of him, moaning when the nails dig in, the touch on his ass encouraging him to push a little deeper. He breaks out of the kiss only when they're both breathless and that's when he starts moving faster, doing the exact thing he'd just done with his mouth, keeping them on the edge. For a few seconds he goes harder, snapping his hips until Kell seems too into it, and then he slows it down again, never stopping the thrusting but changing the tempo. Long strokes inside, almost pulling out entirely to make that full thrust felt.

Jesper encourages both legs around him now so Kell can try and tug him in at his own pace, his mouth biting at Kell's ear, sucking the lobe, making little moans and pants into his ear so he can hear the impact of their lovemaking. ]

I love you, Kell. [ He whispers. ] My sweetest one.

[ In a way, he really is the sweetest in Jesper's heart, because he can be so many things, but he is always Jesper's. In their sex, they belong to each other.

No one can possibly keep it going like that forever and Kell is so open and needy, and they both need more. Jesper kisses his cheek and that is the last nice thing he does, because he really starts to move. He pins Kell to the bed with his weight and pounds him into the mattress, the force of his thrusts enough to make the bed thud almost as loud as the slap of their skin together.

Jesper forces most of his weight on one side so he can hold himself up with an arm and let the other one slip between them. It's a little harder to stroke Kell considering how forceful his own body is being, but between his hand and the friction of their bodies rubbing up against each other, it should be enough. He climbs and climbs and then cries out as he forces his way in deep, still stroking him and moving in small, sharp movements as the bliss falls over him.]

Love you,[ he murmurs, at the height of his pleasure. ]

[Fucking hard and fast is wonderful. The madness they let themselves fall into is wonderful. Often their mutual hunger, raw and primal, is served best by honoring its brutal and explosive ways. When they have less time or less patience, he loves to destroy Jesper and be destroyed by him in turn. Tear into each other like wild beasts. It's unreal how well matched they are in that regard. How perfectly they can play off each others urges, wants and needs.

That's why Kell keeps coming back to Jesper like he's never done to anyone else. Most of his previous flings were short affairs, shallow and instrumental. He might have wanted to bang the other person. He might have felt genuine attraction. At times, even not only purely physical. At times, even completely sober. Not a single one could compare. Most he largely forgot. As few as they were. He definitely hadn't fantasized, in the slow hours of the day, about getting railed withing the inch of his life by any of them. Men or women, doesn't matter. Not even about fucking them into the ground. It's Jesper who has uncovered this side of him.

And Jesper who gets to reap the benefits of finding out that Kell loves when he fucks him long and deep and thorough. Completely overwhelm him, flood all his senses. Like he's a sandy cliff slowly devoured by the sea. Jesper is the sea, moving in and out of him fast and deep only to slow down when Kell can all but taste the release coming. Kell hooks his legs around him, ankles crossed, pushing his hips upward. All to get Jesper to hit him at a better angle, to pull him deeper, to keep him in longer. He slows his breath intentionally, matching it to the rhythm of Jesper's thrusts. Long inhale in his way in, exhale when he pulls out.

Kell might want to drag it ever slightly longer, but even Antari stamina has limits. He's already shaking, euphoric and lightheaded, muscles trembling from the strain, when Jesper kisses him sweetly on the cheek. Then gives Kell just what he asked for, he takes his breath away. Wave after wave of bone-deep, blinding ecstasy, floodgates open, it just keeps going. It's that last thrust when Jesper's comes inside of him, finally pushes Kell over the edge too. It goes and goes, almost without an end.

But an end comes leaving Kell weak and drained. Even breathing feels like too much of a challenge. The world slowly coming into focus. Kell suddenly feels very aware of Jesper's weight on his, warm and comforting. Crumpled sheets under his bare back. Solid support of the mattress. A pile of his own clothes at the edge of his vision. Throbbing of his muscles still stretched around Jesper's now limp cock. Kell moans. He feels too weak to breath, to lift a single finger, and yet he has to swallow hard when he becomes aware of how Jesper still fills him. And how he'd like to fill him in turn now. How he'd like to throw him on bed and fuck him senseless. Pity he has no strength left to do it. It would have been so wonderful.]

Saints, it was incredible.

[He has enough strength to ramble.]

I love you, Jesper. You're always so good for me.

[As he slowly comes back to his senses, Kell realizes one small detail that escaped his notice before. He laughs. This is extra even for them.]

I'm afraid we might get asked to pay extra for the noise. Look. [He starts kissing Jesper wherever he can reach without moving too much.] You fucked me so well, we moved the whole bed. [He chuckles.] At least the windows are intact. [Unlike with some other people.] I love you. I love you so much.

[ Kell's given so much of himself today, opened up his heart and shared his feelings, no matter how difficult they are. He's trusted Jesper with more than his body. And Jesper is feeling very emotional about that. The vulnerability means something to him, and it is love, pure and simple. It is what he feels and what he tries to show as he takes Kell and he can see it sinking in. All of their sex is great, but this is special. And while they can go wild in the Horizon, have sex over and over again in every possible way they feel like, Jesper does like to have it be real whenever they can. It might be messier and require more time to build up the strength again, but it's intimate.

Jesper stays in him even after they've both come, much as he requests on the other end, so he can rest deep inside him and kiss him affectionately. He likes a few seconds of holding onto that closeness, pressing a kiss to each of his cheeks, and only after catching his breath does he pull out. Jesper moves to the side of Kell and immediately curls up right against him, draping an arm over him, pulling him close. Still wanting them to be touching in as many places as possible. It doesn't matter to him they're sticky and spent. It won't be the last time.

He laughs at the reference to the noise and kisses Kell's forehead, running fingers through his bright hair. ]

I have the money. [ Jesper's actually pretty wealthy. Not to the highest level, but enough to keep four people (the Crows) comfortable. ] Wait until the morning when you'll be in me, we could break the bed if we're not careful.

[ Jesper assumes they can have their second bout after some sleep and rest, there's no hurry, they have each other's bodies to explore. But Kell is quite the stallion in the bedroom and this was nothing compared to the noises he gets out of Jesper's mouth. And Jesper never censors himself. He'll be as loud as he damn well wants to. Sorry everyone else. ]

I actually did think I'd love you after our first time in the bedroom. So it's not a surprise to me.

[Kell soaks all the affection that Jesper showers him with. It brings him gently down from what would otherwise be a draining crash. Instead, he's softly sinking into relaxed state, the heat of his ravenous desire slowly dissipating, dissolved by Jesper's kisses and caresses. Just as Jesper pulls out and rolls to his side, Kell is already seeking contact again; setting comfortably under his arm.

He groans at the mention of what else they can do to the bed. This is no empty joke, but a real threat. Kell knows how destructively excited he can be when he gets his hands on Jesper. Hands, lips, teeth, dick. Even still sweetly curled against Jesper, Kell feels the first flash of need. Saints, how much he wants him! This man drives him the most pleasant kind of crazy. He purrs against Jesper's skin.]

Then I'm lucky that you do, because I don't.

[Kell chuckles. When he's not furious and frustrated, he finds his forever precarious financial situation ironic to the point of funny. He's grown as a prince for fucks sake! Money was never issue for him. It is so annoying he has to remember that he doesn't have near infinite means here. When he's fed with being mad he can make himself see it as hilarious. For the sheer contrast with the rest of his life.

So it's quite surprising that relying on Jesper this evening feels so hot. Being provided for is completely new for him. New and unexpectedly exciting.]

You have no idea how much it costs to publish a book. Especially, one with so much fucking in it as mine.

Speaking of fucking-- [Kell begrudgingly resigns to reality that they can't go wild as they do in Horizon. They need rest, they need break and they need sleep. But it's worth it. It always is. Kell shifts slightly so he can remain plastered against Jesper with every inch of his skin, but he can also growl a promise into his ear.] I am going to fuck you so hard, we might as well break this bed in the morning.

[This is were they differ. Kell got totally blindsided by his feelings for Jesper. For how long he tried to avoid putting a name to them while he already has been hopelessly smitten. But there are reasons for his irrational behavior. For his blindness, for his denial. Daring to love has never ended good for him. Those two times that he could not fight it.]

It was to me. [Kell closes his eyes. It's easier like that. When nothing he sees distracts him, when he feels Jesper's warmth, hears his breath, the weight of his arms around him. He feels safe.] I don't really have feelings for people. Not the good ones. I ever fell in love twice in my life before. Neither felt like what I feel for you. How I feel with you. It's sex, yes, sex is great. I have no words to describe how much I want you. There's not a moment when I don't want to drag you to some secluded place and just fuck. Saints, I cannot count how many times I was daydreaming about fucking you while I should be working or studying. But it's not all. It would have been so easy if it was just sex.

[Kell opens his eyes, staring right at Jesper.]

It's not just sex. I understand nothing of this. I don't understand why I could just sit in the room with you, not even touching, just sharing the same space, and it would already make me happy. Fuck, knowing you exist somewhere there, even when there are two countries between us, it already makes me happy. How crazy is that?

Pretty sure none of you lot are even allowed to be wealthy. Jaskier's outright rich at this point, and someday I will be too.

[ Jesper will always seek fortune. He likes money, he likes spending it, but there also is security in it. He grew up on a farm, most of their currency was in trade or enough to get by. They always had food (because he hunted) and their clothes were nice (because he mended them) so he wouldn't call them poor, but nothing like once he got to Ketterdam and had money to burn. It's amazing how wealthy someone can get when they don't gamble all their money away! Imagine that!

Some of his funds are starting to break even solely because he and Hilda will be beginning a business and starting from the ground up can be hard, but the two of them are incredibly street savvy and skilled. They'll be making money on that before long.

He smiles indulgently and leans in when Kell whispers that they're going to have bed-breaking sex in the morning, and he kisses him sweetly. ]

Deal, sweetheart.

[ He can pay for a bed! He can also fix a bed without needing to pay for it, better than new. Jesper has now upgraded an inn so he's quite good at all of this. They maybe can't have sex as constant as in the Horizon but he's content to let them enjoy it when they want to and not because of the desperation of keep going, keep going, keep going. Those are both good experiences, he has a mood for each, and his mood is enjoying this right now. Jesper lets his hand wander over Kell's body, down his shoulder and side, curving around to give his ass a nice little squeeze. ]

Love feels different with each person because it is different. The relationship is singular.

[ Jesper doesn't feel the same way with any of his lovers, they're each a part of his heart separately, because their wants and needs change too. It's hard for him to explain to people who don't see it the way he does, because it's just a feeling. His heart is in many pieces but it's whole too.

He laughs when Kell gets super horny there for a moment, leaning over to kiss his shoulder affectionately. Listen, he's hot as fuck, he knows that. The one thing no one can ever doubt about him is how good he is in bed. Kell is also great in bed, they practically set themselves on fire every time. He knows that Kell desires him insanely and it's very satisfying, he likes being body worshipped. It makes him into a pampered pet in many ways. ]

It's love, baby. It's supposed to be crazy and unexplainable and precious.

[ Jesper may not know some things, but this, this he knows. He lets his fingers brush through Kell's hair, curling around his jaw, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb. Their eyes fix on each other and his are warm, content, pleased. ]

You don't need to understand, just feel it, and be happy.

[ He kisses him soundly. ]

Now let's get some sleep so you can pound me into this mattress fully rested, yeah?

[Just letting himself feel things without instantly jumping to dissecting it, is always a challenge for Kell. It is significantly easier now when the heat of pleasure transforms into drowsiness. A very nice kind of drowsiness. ]

Sounds like a great plan. I like it.

[That's the last thing he says before drifting into sleep.]

[ The gift from Claude had definitely been a surprise - but not a bad one and certainly not unwelcome. And while she had shown her appreciation to Claude, she isn’t about to withhold credit where credit is due. And frankly, any excuse to seek out Jesper is a good excuse for her.

The renovations for the Sarstina are well underway by the time she arrives that day with all her promised fabric samples (all Mags approved of course). Unsurprisingly no bright colours had made it into the final selection but Hilda had managed to convince her to add a couple of patterns in there that would prevent it from erring too close to the hospital aesthetic.

After getting one final approval from Mags that she can go ahead and order the appropriate amount for the upholstery, Hilda had commandeered Jesper for a quick lunch break. It’s only once they’re seated with their food in front of them that HIlda is quick to adopt a simpering pose, along with batting eyelashes and doe eyes. ]

I hear that I have you to thank for my new scarf?

[ Jesper could use the lunch break, and the only way to get him to do that is someone pretty batting their eyelashes at him. And he also likes Hilda a lot so he put up minimal fuss. He's been so focused on the project since they got back from the Nether, and it's finally underway. This was Jesper's idea so it's important to him to oversee it, but a man still needs to eat. He's still made time to make a few things, including Hilda's scarf that Claude asked for.

He didn't know when the man was going to give it to her so he smiles when she brings it up, amused by her pose until she explains, and he laughs. ]

Oh good, he gave it to you. Yeah, you're welcome. I'd make anything for you, gorgeous.

[ He winks and scarfs down some food. Fashion is something he's always loved, something he eagerly started getting into once he came to Ketterdam and away from the farm life. It's fun for him to make it, especially for someone who appreciates it. ]

Don't tell me that.

[ She gasps, giving him the lightest push against his shoulder with a finger. Hilda's expression looks completely contrary to her words. The thought of anyone gifting her something, particularly pretty things, will never fail to bring her some level of delight. ]

Otherwise you might never hear the end of requests from me and then I'm going to have all of your lovers coming after me. I can't run that fast.

[ It's mostly a joke. She'd never put anyone to work like that without paying them back in kind somehow whether that's paying for the materials herself or providing them some sort of compensation. The intensity of the simpering pose fades and she's left contentedly watching him eat. ]

Have you thought about doing it seriously while you're here? Fashion I mean.

I already told Claude I had extra ideas on top of that. Knee-high tall boots to go with it, special colorful hair ties.

[ Jesper has an eye for these things and he knows what will look good on her. Well, everything would look good on her, but he likes aesthetics. He started her out with one piece but he already has in mind a whole outfit. It's the way he thinks, and it's also why he always looks so put together. It's not just pants and shirt or jacket, he wears layers, and they're all intricately designed, colorful. He's made an entire wardrobe since coming here. ]

It's okay we can split Sylvain's time with me, I'll bring you new things and jump into his bed.

[ An ideal situation, really. Jesper adores Sylvain, the two of them are really alike and so quick to laugh and have a good time together. He's a little protective of him too, in the sense that he doesn't think Sylvain is used to other people protecting him, he's the protector. Another thing they have in common.

The question throws him as if it is genuinely something he's never considered, and that's because it hasn't. He makes clothes all the time for other people and himself, and he sells bits and pieces, but professionally? ]

No, I haven't. Strangely. [ Jesper puts his food down for a moment, that's when you know something is serious. ] I've always loved fashion and my powers make it easy, but I guess I've seen it as a fun side hobby.

Jesper, you're going to make me swoon. I don't know whether to tell you to keep talking or stop.

[ Her eyelashes flutter and she cups her cheeks giving herself the impression of a blushing maiden being showered with affection. And honestly, it sort of is. Whoever said that money and objects couldn't buy happiness hadn't met Hilda. At this rate she'd have to have a word with Claude about stopping Jesper from going ahead and making all of the things he had described.

The mention of splitting Sylvain's time snags on something, bringing her joking to a grinding halt in her mind. She'd never had a problem with Jesper and Sylvain spending time together before and she still didn't even with recent revelations on her part. At least, she didn't think it did.Thankfully it doesn't do much else except freeze her smile into place for a beat longer before she gracefully rolls out of it. Why think about feelings when she'd much rather talk about fashion? ]

Maybe you should. People would pay for the things you make. And I don't mean that in a, "you should extort people," way. I just think that all artists should be paid for their talents.

Listen if I can't get you to swoon the best way I know how, showering you with gifts is a happy second place.

[ Jesper will always, always flirt, whenever given the chance. And Hilda's gorgeous, funny, charming, kind. He also loves getting stuff. Money and objects can absolutely buy happiness, he's a criminal, he knows that only too well. And as a gambling addict, sometimes that's not always the best thing, but for him it was the rush more than the money. He just also really loves money. Being rich is something he never got to be before.

Jesper's extremely perceptive so he notes something is a little off with her, but he is also someone who lets things slide. If she wants to talk about it, she will, he's not going to press unless there seems to be a door at least slanted open. Claude learned that himself when Jesper gently tried to poke at the situation with him and Hilda, but he did leave himself open to a talk there. So he's a good listener. He and Sylvain have been lovers for a year now. He doesn't understand everything about the way this trio works. ]

You know, it's funny because I've made all my clothes, and for the Crows, and all our costumes and looks at the events we've gone to, but just ... didn't think about it outside of that.

[ And by now Hilda's seen the costumes and formal wear he's talking about, especially from the masquerade. It's all made by Jesper and he had a great time putting together the dramatic and fun looks, but he left it at that in his brain. This is dawning on him now that it doesn't have to be a hobby. But Hilda may see the very rare occurrence of Jesper doubting himself, which is hardly ever witnessed.]

I don't know, professionally, though? Do you really think so?

If you insist. But only if you let me shower you with gifts in return.

[ As always she's so quick to give in. There's an art to the form of give and take after all. And she's not so entirely selfish that she wouldn't shower Jesper with gifts in return even though a part of doubts being able to match the artistry that he's able to create out of thin air. Wanda's works echo in her mind though; it shouldn't be a comparison game. That of course is easier said then done - but she moves on quickly, not wanting to dwell on it longer than she should.

To be fair, she didn't even know what to make of whatever it is she had with Claude and Sylvain. The former was essentially a five to six year mess of bad timing and miscommunication and the latter was so new that she still wasn't fully convinced that it was true. It's no wonder that she'd rather focus on this odd emotion she's never seen on Jesper before than address her feelings that are tinged with jealousy that she can't rid herself of.

Tilting her head to the side, she watches him. The doubt is familiar only in the sense that she often wears it herself. ]

Why not? You could start small. Like taking select commissions for people in town, or asking Jaskier or Julie to wear whatever you make so that people will take notice of it.

[ Her eyes brighten, getting swept along with this idea of Jeseper's talents making themselves known. ]

You could do some work for the stage to expand your reach too! The Old Public Hall is always looking for some stunning costumes and I'm sure that the seamstresses would love working with you. In fact I know they will.

[ Jesper's not really familiar with jealousy himself; he can tell it in other people, since he's so intimately involved with others, but he doesn't really know the feeling. It's probably what made it obvious to him here that he was meant for a more open-minded lifestyle. He and Wylan have gotten past their issues and that was the last piece he needed, given how worried he was about his ex's feelings on the matter. But he's the last person to judge about anything emotion-wise. They're all just human after all.

Which is why he's showing some of his own human vulnerabilities at the moment, the rare display of doubt. He didn't think he could be a merchant at all until he made it happen and started developing trinkets, but he always told himself that was out of necessity. This would be intentionally making things for other people to consume that he actually cares about. A much harder task. ]

I suppose I could get started with costumes, yeah.

[ It's a simple enough starting point and if he works with the professionals, he'll be able to tell if he has what it takes from there. Jesper has already been making clothes for a long time so he's better than he thinks, but when it comes to things that matters, he's much harder on himself than most people know. ]

Well what about you? You've got a flare like I do, and you've been making things using your enchantment skills and stuff, yeah?

[ Human, yes. It's impossible to forget how tender and soft their hearts are, how easily bruised they can become.She preferred her life to be sunshine and rainbows, not so dissimilar to how she dressed and how she tried to present herself to the rest of the world. A bruised heart didn't exactly align with that. Jealousy also felt more like a cold stain that sat at the base of her throat, ready to cut anything that came too close.

But what she perceived to be her own shortcomings would never stop her from supporting those around her. Jesper's answer, however reluctant, lights up her face. ]

Amazing! Once the inn renovations are all wrapped up, I'll set up some time for you to come and meet the head of the costume department. They'll love you.

[ It's not a promise of a job but rather a foot in the door; Krish had a keen eye for design and was a stickler for details. They adored the drama and the fantasy that costume could bring to an immersive experience and the arts. The Hall was lucky to have them. But Hilda also knew how to get the head of costume wrapped around her little finger like the best of them and had spent more than enough time with them to know that Kirsh would immediately take a liking to Jesper and see just how amazing his work was. ]

Me? [ Her enthusiasm fizzles slightly, replaced with a sheepish look. She's quick to dismiss her own passions. ] I guess I have been making some things but it's slower work. I can't just magic things out of thin air like you. And the enchantments are just pretty embellishments than anything useful.

Well of course they will, everyone loves me.

[ See he can bounce back from his momentary insecurity! Hilda may be able to see though with that switch that a lot of it is him bullshitting. His confidence can be real but it can also be hiding the parts of him that he doesn't want everyone to know about. It's easier to be brave and bold and pretend than be honest about the ways in which he doesn't have the highest opinion of himself. It's a complicated tightrope to walk down.

He is good with people though. That's always been one of his primary skills, honed after years of being fairly isolated from everyone else. Another detail not known to most, it would seem like Jesper's always been popular and surrounded by people. It's not the case, he was isolated as a youth, and only after coming to Ketterdam was he able to become his extroverted and warm self.

But he is excited at the idea, now that he's successfully been persuaded to try it out. His hobby made into something he's passionate about? Is that even possible? Apparently he'll find out.

Because Jesper has just revealed a little of his inner self, he's quick to notice it in Hilda too and he gives her an amused look. ]

How about we both give ourselves some credit and say it's something we both could do ... if we wanted to? If you wanted to. There's a bunch of ways I can see using your enchantments as perfect additions to fashion.

[ Her lips quirk slightly as his confidence returns in full force. Jesper’s bounce back is a familiar technique, one that she’s employed herself on more than one occasion especially as of late. For a moment she can’t help but pause; is she merely projecting onto him what she knows she does? Or had Jesper trusted her enough to show him a little more behind the cheerful ease that he wore and breathed?

Absently she thinks that he doesn’t have to try so hard around her. She’s interacted with enough nobles now to discern when people are being insincere or putting on a front for politeness sake. She’s also interacted with Jesper enough now to know that he’s as genuine as the sun is warm; there is no part of him that is insincere when it comes to how much he cares for those around him.

So perhaps if it is that he’s allowed her to see a little more behind the curtain of the ever bright presence that he is — that means all the more to her than he may ever know. There’s a beat before she admits in that same, sheepish tone - ]

I’ve been helping to make some costume jewelry and crowns for the stage. Everything else has been pretty simple so far. Costume jewelry is so different from something someone would wear every day after all. I wouldn’t even know how to being pricing them or where to begin selling them.

[ Just because she was friends with some of the local jewelry shops in town didn’t mean that they would necessarily sell the things she made. ]

[ Jesper's sunny honesty is a staple of his being but she hasn't seen him when he's at his lowest, and generally he prefers it that way. He can crash very hard and it does come from that place she just saw, the uncertainty and the lack of confidence in a particular part of himself. He's spent most of his life being very, very good at certain things, and he's always put all his energy and confidence into that. This is a more creative outlet, something softer than his guns and his smarts, something his mother would love.

He did let Hilda witness a vulnerability he doesn't often let on, since usually he flashes a smile and covers it all up. And he has that instinct now, which he's doing by trying to move past it, but it's not because he's hiding from her, like he sometimes does. Jesper's gotten to the point of trust in her when she can know that he occasionally doesn't think he's amazing at everything he does. ]

Well I've been selling jewelry for a while, I've got a good idea of it. But if I'm making clothes, I don't have time for both.

[ Jesper shrugs. ]

Have you seen some of the Aquila fashion? They seem to love colorful looks. And while we may not live in the Feywilds, I think it'd be fun to bring some of that style here, wouldn't you say?

[ Better to be able to admit that you're good at some things than deflect and say that you're good at nothing at all though! Not that that's what Hilda is doing. Not in the least.

She can't say for certain if what Jesper says is an offer to help price her creations if she ever got to that point, but she appreciates it all the same. Knowing that someone, a friend specifically, is encouraging it at all gives her some solace. It becomes more clear though as he poses his question to her. Her eyes light up at the mention of Aquila and the city's take on colour, fun and daring and a light slowly seems to grow in her eyes. ]

You mean together? [ Her lips twitch a little at the thought. ] I did always wish that it would be fun to see more variety in how people decide to dress here. Not that it's bad, it just tends to err on the side of neutral colours.

[ There's an argument in there for practicality or something along those lines. Cadens was a military town, one that favoured innovation and science over fashion and the arts. And while that was fine, it certainly wasn't vibrant as it could be. ]

Yeah, together. I'm a big team player, you know.

[ Just seeing Jesper around the Crows should make it obvious, but also the way he works with everyone in the Inn, with her and Sam in the welcoming committee. Jesper doesn't do things solo much of the time, he's always looking for other people to work with. It's probably because he grew up utterly alone and only found companionship when he came to Ketterdam and was brought into the Dregs. He adores Hilda and they already are working so well together with the welcoming committee and as friends. Why not throw another venture? ]

I know Cadens is military and boring, but what if we could brighten it up a bit? My mother's people were extremely colorful, and they were also city folk, pragmatic, just also bright.

[ It explains why Jesper favors so much color. He's never in neutral colors, outside of when he has to do some specific work or on the road. He stands out like a permanent peacock on purpose, but he took it from her and the Zemeni. He grins at her. ]

I think we can do it, why not? We're both brilliant people with great taste.

[ Hilda has no doubt that he is - the entire Sarstina renovation has been a testament to that. That doesn't change the fact that it still surprises her that he would want to do things with her, let alone what sounds suspiciously like a business venture if it ever got to that point. Taking things seriously is something she's never been known to wear well. Her penchant for flightiness and airheaded ways don't align themselves well to that sort of thing. But they've already come this far. And designs and creation don't have to mean a business or anything serious - right?

In fact brightening up a drab, neutral city is the complete opposite of that. And if she were being honest, she missed seeing colour outside of the stage. Jesper's idea combined with his infectious smile is enough to convince her. ]

Why not then?

[ She reaches across the table, grasping his hands in hers. ]

And I think we'd have a host of people that we could probably convince to model for us. Or at least wear them around town. Maybe the locals will want to take after us eventually and you'll have a booming business.

[ Jesper has a very good mind for business and no one was more surprised than him. He didn't intend to become a merchant but he had to make money for himself and others, so he didn't have a choice. Now he has a pretty reputable business, albeit a casual street table, but this would mean something larger level. For both of them. But he doesn't see Hilda as some pretty, frivolous person, he'd laugh at the very idea. He's a good judge of character and he knows she's someone of substance.

Besides, this sounds like a lark more than anything else. (That might become something more.) So they make some colorful fun things and sell it out of his stall for a time. They'll worry about it being a business when it becomes a business. ]

I bet we could get some interest between the colors and the fact that people might want to own things made by Summoned. I swear that's why I get some good sales.

[ Jesper is not at all against using their identity as eternal outsiders to make money. It's his favorite thing to do. He grasps her hands too and lifts one of them to kiss her knuckles sweetly. ]

We'll have a booming business, darling. That's the plan

[ooc: continued from here]

( Jesper is currently not thinking or caring too much about the situation outside of getting to explode Nikolai's mouth thoroughly, his hands greedy as they move underneath his shirt to caress the soft skin of his back. The library seems quiet at the moment, he would feel people nearby if they were, his abilities making matter very clear to him. At the very least he thinks he can get away with being saucy if they're quick.

Jesper goes down to his knees right then and there, crafty fingers moving swiftly to Nikolai's pants to start to undo them. He does have a tendency to like public or semi-public sex so this is the mischief he tends to inspire other people into. He smirks up at Nikolai but does give him the option to stop him if he wants. They're doing this together. )

Shhh.

( Jesper puts a finger on his lips, his gaze playful.)

( oh, is that what's going to happen right now? he laughs when jesper makes the move, head thumping back against the shelves before he looks down. )

Shhh yourself.

( which it looks like he's going to do in a different way than nikolai's going to have to be quiet. )

I can be quiet. Don't worry, no one will know what you're about to do.

Well you can make a little bit of noise.

( Absolute silence during this wouldn't be much fun either. He trusts Nikolai knows what he means though. Not so much that people would go looking, although it's possible smart people would hear them and know what's going on. He doubts it's the only time people have hooked up in a library, he's heard that the Draconae are open-minded about sex.

He tugs Nikolai's clothing down to pool at his ankles for now, but it won't be difficult to pull it all up quickly if they need to. Jesper likes to take his time with this so he'll have to find a happy medium since they can't be too slow. He puts a hand into his own jacket and pulls out a little vial of lubriant. Yes, he's always prepared. That's one of the benefits of 30 pockets in his clothes. It's so he can make it more comfortable and slick when he wraps his hand around Nikolai and strokes him, curling his tongue on the underskin of the head.)

( congratulations on being a little more prepared than nikolai. he'll be honest and say he hadn't really expected this when he came into the library. usually you didn't encounter this kind of thing surrounded by books.

he blows out a breath and then laughs huskily when jesper gets a hand around him he licks his lips. )

Make a little bit of noise, huh? Maybe say your name so people remember who's who?

( Jesper is ready at all times, he is that guy. His sex drive is high and he finds people in general attractive. But Nikolai's someone he has had his eye on for a long time so he is taking advantage while he has the chance. It would be easy for them to go to a room, although those don't have doors regardless, but it seems they're both down for enjoying the moment. He wants that body on his eventually though. He wants to have his mouth on every part of him.

For now he is more than eager and ready to have it on this part of him. Jesper laughs, his breath on Nikolai's hard skin.)

Darling, I always want to hear my name.

( He licks him stem to tip, sighing happily.)

I have no real gag reflex. Use that knowledge as you will.

(He is done talking now though, not when he has a feast in front of him. Jesper holds him steady and dives right in, proving that exact fact when he covers Nikolai, taking him all the way into his wet hot mouth.)

Ah.

( jesper, of course, manages to catch him by surprise with that comment. what else is nikolai supposed to do but make a sound of pleasure and jerk his hips a bit.

he does get a hold of himself quickly enough, staying still so he doesn't immediately go and choke jesper just as the other man's gotten his mouth on him.

he inhales and holds it before letting it go and reaching down to get a hand in jesper's hair. )

( Jesper doesn't mind the jerk of the hips since it's an obvious reaction to what he's doing, but he doesn't mind a slower unfurling into pleasure which is why he's not immediately going to an all-out assault of stimulation to Nikolai. They haven't been caught yet, they can enjoy it. He likes a hand in his hair when he's doing this and hums around him in appreciation.

He holds Nikolai steady with his hand and starts moving on him, pulling his head off so he's only sucking on the tip before taking him all in again. His lips tighten around him on purpose and he strokes his hand every time he bobs out to give Nikolai extra stimulation. Jesper really loves blow jobs, every time he gives one it's genuinely his pleasure.)

( not that nikolai is at all surprised but jesper is really very good at this and it's all he can do to moan his appreciation while his fingers clench tighter in jesper's hair.

he thinks he gasps the other man's name right before grabbing at a book nearby to try and give himself something to hold onto.

he does press his hips forwards slightly, hopefully giving jesper time to see that it's coming. at least while he's still in here and now. )

( Jesper smiles around him when he hears his name, perfectly said, and he rewards him by sucking on his head a little tighter and stroking his tongue over the tip to taste him. When Nikolai finally pushes forward to take more from him, he'll find Jesper eager and encouraging, letting him take over. Though before it seems like he's getting too into it, Jesper pulls off him, his hand still stroking slowly against his cock so it doesn't stop stimulating.

He glances up at him, gray eyes pure silver when he's turned on like this.)

You can come in my mouth or bend me over this bookshelf and fuck me. I'm for either and we could always wait until we get to a room for you to get inside me, but I'm into it.

( It's up to Nikolai at this point, it really is about his partners and their comfort level. It probably will get a little louder if that's involved but Jesper can handle it, it's just that he is eternally thirsty and he wants this king like crazy. He is never afraid to ask for what he wants or speak his desires out loud and he likes to think his lovers get the idea that they can do the same, so Jesper's interested in Nikolai's opinion.)

( why do you say those things, jesper? because nikolai's trying to hang on, thinking he'll just come in jesper's mouth but then he has options.

he shudders, hans gripping harder at jesper's hair. he tries to think through the haze of pleasure on what he wants to do. let himself come like this? stop and fuck jesper here? come and then fuck jesper later?

that seems like the best of both worlds, he thinks, before it's hard to think further. )

I'll get you off later. In a room.

( is what he decides before he feels his release coiling tightly in his belly and his hips arch forward while he comes with a probably too loud shout. )

Course, love.

( He teases but then he realizes he's been going at him too fast so Jesper manages to lean in and take him back into his mouth just in time. It's for the best because while he doesn't mind it on his face, that'll be harder to clean up in time for them to leave here. He swallows him down with no problem at all and rubs his pretty ass soothingly as he comes down from his orgasm.

This way is much simpler and he licks Nikolai dry gently, so as not to overstimulate him, but to get him clean. Jesper would love to keep groping said ass because it feels very nice, but instead he reaches down to get Nikolai's pants so they can cover him up. He did shout at the end so this way if anyone comes around the corner, he is covered.

No one does show up so they got lucky. Jesper gets to his feet and enjoys the look on Nikolai's face. Very sweet.)

Saints, you're pretty. Look at you.

Edited 2023-11-09 14:30 (UTC)

( all nikolai can do is sag back against the bookshelves, careful not to knock the entire shelf down since that would most definitely draw attention to them.

he slowly let's go of jesper's hair and then swipes his forearm against his face, breathing hard. )

Give me a moment and I'll heap all sorts of praise on you.

( One book does threaten to fall but before it can, Jesper reaches out and catches it. Nikolai's yell might not have gotten attention but in a library, someone was more likely to come looking if books fell over. He puts a hand on the bookshelves to hold them up and grins, more than a little happy about wrecking him this much.)

Praise I'll take, but don't touch me, we have to make it to a room so you can keep your promises.

( But Jesper is hard and heated and he won't argue if Nikolai does touch him. Once he's certain the bookshelf will survive, he uses his jacket to tug around, it will hide his excitement until they get somewhere else.)

I can't wait to see you naked. I've been thinking about that since we met.

Right, right.

( he blows out a slow breath and pulls his hands away from jesper to make sure he doesn't touch and set him off. he licks his lips and then steps away slightly. )

Can you walk all right?

( before they get moving and all. )

It's not my first time. Let's go.

( Jesper says with a grin. Walking around with a hard-on, trying to get to a room quickly enough to have a good time. That's practically his state of being. He buttons up the coat which he almost never does but it's the safest way. He hooks a finger into the front of Nikolai's shirt and tugs.

Jesper keeps his hands to himself the entire way to the housing quarters the Nether gave them. Technically there are no official doors but people seem to get that so they've managed to figure out privacy options. Jesper's taken to hooking his jacket on the outside as a warning, a sock wouldn't be good enough, and he does exactly that as he pulls Nikolai into the room.)

Any preferences, your highness?

( Jesper said he wanted to get him naked and he clearly means it, since the first thing he does is try to drag Nikolai's shirt off him rather than do anything about his own hardness.)

( and how is he supposed to answer jesper's busy taking his shirt off? obviously nikolai's going to be paying more attention to that.

he let's jesper pull the shirt off, sliding his hands through his hair once it's off before he reaches a hand around jesper's neck and pulls him in for a hard kiss.

he'll answer in a moment. answer with words, at least. he thinks this is a pretty good way to talk too. )

( Jesper moans the moment their lips meet again and he fully throws himself into it, sliding arms up his bare chest and into his hair to properly muss it back up. His tongue plunges into Nikolai's mouth to explore his mouth and his hands drop back down to undo his pants again. Apparently he is all about getting Nikolai naked as fast as possible; it was such a tease to only get a little bit before.

His own clothed body presses up against him but Nikolai can feel him hot and hard through his pants as he kisses until they're out of breath.)

You're beautiful. And damned if I don't want to go down on you again.

( Jesper laughs breathlessly at that, he's eternally thirsty.)

And while I might be greedy and take you up on that any other time —

( today, he has other plans. today, he's not going to be selfish and greedy though it will take a lot of control.

reaching down, nikolai's hand cups jesper through his trousers, giving him a little squeeze. )

Think this needs some attention first.

( Jesper is a giver by nature and he loves pleasing other people, but he knows when to lie back and enjoy it himself. He's a hedonist at his core but in what he considers a very positive way. He follows his pleasures wherever he can, and it brought him to this very sexy king today so his instincts are completely correct.

He groans when Nikolai's hand grips him and he nods eagerly, gripping Nikolai but the hips and pulling him with him toward the bed. Jesper sits back on it and pulls off his own shirt, tossing it to the side and lounging back with a very devilish come hither look.)

Serviced by a king is not something I expected.

You know, you're one of the few who knows about that.

( the king thing. he smirks, shamelessly taking in jesper's form before he starts walking towards jesper at the other man's request.

once he's close enough, he dips his head down and licks a stripe against jesper's shoulder. )

You should tell more people, it's a real turn-on.

( His fingers run through Nikolai's hair now that they can, he's definitely thought about how silky and pretty his hair was. Nikolai's body does not disappoint under that clothing and he tilts his head in a clear invitation to take advantage of his neck if he'd like to.

Most things are a turn-on to him but he is confident that a royal throne would get many people going.)

But it wasn't your title that got me wanting to go on my knees in front of you from day one. ( He smirks.) That would be your face. So pretty.

I don't know, I think I like it being a secret. Nice to spring on people when they least expect it.

( after a brief moment of attention elsewhere, nikolai's hand returns to jesper's cock and he squeezes firmly, laughing at how hard he's already gotten. )

But enough about me, really. I think we should both work on doing something about all this. Do you agree?

Hold on.

( Jesper doesn't mind expediting the process by undoing his pants and getting them off him, considering he had to walk around hard in them and he could use the relief of being free. Also it makes it easier for whatever Nikolai plans on doing for him. Now he's stretched out naked on the bed and very happy to be there.)

Please, by all means, your highness, help a poor criminal out.

( Since they did start this joking about a book being written about their separate roles and how that could make it hot. And it is, in fact, very hot in Jesper's opinion.)

( deciding to be greedy for a moment, nikolai just enjoys the sight of jesper spread out there on the bed, naked. he looks, savors, and enjoys before he crawls closer.

his mouth finds the swell of one of jesper's hips and he bites down lightly, licking the spot before wasting no time and moving his mouth over to jesper's cock.

he let's his cock rest heavily against his tongue for a moment before taking him in a further and letting him hit the back of his throat, seeing what kind of reaction that got from the other man. )

( Jesper likes being admired and it's clear from the glint in silver eyes that he enjoys Nikolai looking at him that way. He knows he's attractive but it doesn't mean he likes this any less. Nikolai also knows he's attractive, the two of them are matched that way. Swaggering confidence is very attractive.

He catches his breath when Nikolai bites his hip and smoothes fingers through his hands, his cock already hard and ready for some attention. He was hoping for no teasing at this point, he's well past that, so he's grateful that Nikolai goes right for it.

What he doesn't expect is to be deep-throated right away and so Nikolai manages to surprise him in the best possible sense. His fingers tighten in Nikolai's hair, gasping.)

Fuck, yes.

( The other hand grips the sheets but he lifts it to try and focus on the lubricant in his jacket and snap it over to them.)

Are you going to fuck me, sweetheart?

I think so, yes.

( he can hear the rustling from above, realizing jesper's doing something that most likely helps prepare him but nikolai doesn't look right off. he sucks at the head of jesper's cock and then takes him in his mouth again, going deep and holding it before pulling off. )

But I had to get a quick taste first and I wasn't disappointed.

( because of course he wasn't. )

I mean, I'm easy, if you prefer it the other way I'm game. You just -- Saints.

( His mouth can do nothing more than moan for a few seconds as he sucks the head and he has a full body shiver, dropping his head back and breathing unsteadily. Nikolai has to stop doing that deep perfect wet and hot slide or he's going to pass out. He pats his head, focusing on keeping it together.)

Have to stop doing that if I'm trying not to come.

( Continuing his thought from before in a breathless way. If he is given permission to fuck into that mouth he's going to take it and then he'll need a few minutes ... but not that long. Jesper's refractory period is exactly what one would expect of a young intensely sexual man.)

Call me greedy.

( but he does want more so he pulls off jesper and stands up, pressing into him and kissing him before glancing around. )

You want me to fuck you, right? Hands and knees or on your back?

You can be greedy later, sweetheart. As if I'll be done with you any time soon.

( No, he's going to need to eventually take his time with Nikolai, but he never manages to be slow in the start. He gets too caught up in passion and damned if this man isn't worth every ounce of it. Jesper smirks and hands him the lubricant, leaning up to kiss him again, needy for those soft lips of his, before resting back.)

Back. I really want to see that face of yours.

( It's so pretty, he can hardly be blamed. He spreads his legs in obvious invitation, grabbing a pillow to put under his back to prop his body up better for Nikolai to use.)

You can be fast, I like a little burn.

( Also Nikolai will find that Jesper is one of the easiest people in the world to open up because of his lack of tension. He's so comfortable with sex that he relaxes right away.)

( on his back and a little burn. all things that jesper can easily remember. he nods his head, taking the lubricant and putting a good amount in his palm. )

Hopefully it's not too cold.

( and once he's slicked up is fingers and jesper's on his back, he presses his thumb against the other man, finding him easy to open up. which just means he adds a second finger quickly to give jesper a little stretch now. )

It's fine, I'm very hot.

( Jesper grins since that could go two ways, but it's actually quite true once Nikolai gets his hands on him. He runs very hot, it might be the constant energy buzzing under his skin. And his promise is true, he relaxes almost instantly underneath Nikolai's fingers, far more welcoming than most. He isn't afraid of any intrusion and his body knows that, it wants what Nikolai has to offer.

He still feels it even if it's easy, sighing at the first touch of him, humming in appreciation when Nikolai opens him to two fingers. Gray eyes stay fixed on Nikolai's face, enjoying looking at him, seeing the want in his gaze. He reaches out to touch, brushing his long fingers against Nikolai's plump lips. He taps them on Nikolai's mouth as if to ask for him to open and if he allows it, puts two of them into his mouth to suck on.)

Saints, next time I really want you to fuck my mouth. Like I want my throat to be hoarse from it.

You need to stop saying things like that when I'm already committed to fucking you in another way.

( because he can be a selfish man and he finds himself wanting to do both now. but, he's got some fingers inside of jesper's ass now so he's not going to stop.

he does, however, lean down and lick at jesper's hole once before he gets a hand around his cock so he can press the head to jesper's ass. )

Good? Ready?

( Jesper laughs.)

We can circle back around to it, sweetheart.

( Jesper is genuinely surprised when he licks at him like that, it's not a new thing, just a sudden one, but it definitely sends a little thrill up his spine. Followed by Nikolai finally positioning and Jesper gets excited instead of tense, this is what he wants, what he needs. Being filled or filling someone else, either way, it's what he craves. Of all his vices, this is the best.

He lifts a leg to hook around Nikolai's waist, opening himself up even more to make it easy for him to slide in. And so Jesper can be his needy and demanding self when he wants him to move. Anticipation is high.)

Very much ready, your highness. Please for the love of everything get inside of me.

Good man.

( there were other things in the offering right now that they were both more focused on. and nikolai, now that he's had a taste, doesn't want this to be a one time thing.

and he doesn't think jesper wants it to be a one time thing either so they're in agreement.

and with jesper's encouragement, nikolai reaches down to get a hold of himself and starting easing himself inside of jesper. he doesn't go too slow, remembering jesper's words from earlier, but doesn't go too fast either. )

Yes, finally.

( Jesper is completely ready and eager when Nikolai lines up and he moans when he starts to fill him, dropping his head back and his expression one of open pleasure the deeper he goes. It never stops being incredible to him, sex itself, never stops being powerful and special to him. It's maybe a little too slow for him but he gets it. Nikolai's doing what he wants.

The burn is delightful and he reaches up to run his fingers in Nikolai's hair, his other hand digging into his shoulder. Gray eyes are silver when he's turned on and he watches Nikolai's face.)

You feel perfect.

( He squeezes around Nikolai on the inside to tighten nicely, his arm locking around Nikolai's hip now that he's inside.)

Fuck me the way you want to. I need to know what you like.

Always so agreeable.

( well, maybe not always but right now, he's pliable and flexible (in more ways than one) and nikolai's a definite fan of this.

jesper squeezes around him and he sees stars momentarily, letting the heady feeling overtake him before he reaching for jesper's hips. )

You'll know.

( because he's definitely going to show him. he pulls out, almost the entire way, and then slides back in, firm and hard, but not overly rough.

not yet, at least. )

I'm only disagreeable when it's a turn-on.

(Jesper loves sex for so many reasons but it's partly because he feels like he was made for it. The adrenaline rush, the feeling of Nikolai so close to him, hot and hard, his body on fire. It's always so good, even the times it's been bad, it's been good. But Nikolai's body is hot as hell, Jespers admiring his arms, his chest, the way his body ripples as it moves.

He takes in a breath when Nikolai pulls back, letting it out in a long groan when he plunges into his body again. It's clear that he is intentionally tightening around Nikolai the deeper he is, like he wants to clench to torture him with more sensation.)

Saints, please, Nikolai. Pound me into this bed.

Maybe we'll try that next time.

( the whole disagreement thing. that could be fun. he's always been a fan of a good argument that ends in this way. but he valiantly pulls his mind from thinking about next time back to here and now.

he finds a rhythm easily enough, almost like they've done this before. it's firm and it's hard and it puts him deep inside jesper each time he presses in, dragging gasps and moans from his lips. )

Harder?

The king would want to punish the criminal for being bad, wouldn't he?

( Jesper says as a half moan and half laugh. He appreciates Nikolai's already thinking about a next time because so is he. He loves first times but he likes tenth and twentieth times more, when people really know each other's bodies and can make each other sing. He wants to learn this perfect body, he wants to lick every inch of it. But Saints if this isn't a perfect first time anyway, the right amount of power with a sexy lead-up in public. A Jesper preference.)

Fuck, you are good.

( Jesper wraps both legs around Nikolai now to encourage more thrusting, his hands sliding down his chest to pinch his nipples and play with them as he works inside of him.)

Yeah, baby, harder. I can take it. I like it rough.

Well, if you insist.

( jesper's not going to have to tell him twice. if he wants it rough, nikolai can give it to him rough. more than that, nikolai wants to give it to him rough.

jesper tightens his legs around nikolai's waist, making it easier for nikolai to pump in deeper and harder. he braces his hands at the sides of jesper's shoulders, hands gripping the linens and he rocks into jesper as hard as he dares, as hard a he can, letting the sounds of their moans and skin against skin fill the room. )

I do. I do insist.

( He says breathlessly, so damned eager.)

Oh fuck.

( There are few things better than being truly and thoroughly fucked, from Nikolai slamming inside of him, from that perfect slap of their hips coming together with each thrust. He moans so loudly there is no question about what they're doing if anyone walks past. This is why it probably was a good idea to get to a bedroom. Jesper is too loud to have gotten away with being fucked in the bookshelves. Nikolai could've tried to stifle him, but it's much better this way.

He keeps gasping yes and pushing down at Nikolai as he slides into him, far from passive, his hand tightening in Nikolai's hair and then digging fingers into his back. His fingers on Nikolai's chest scrape down his perfect body to wrap around his own cock.)

Come in me, I want it, I want to feel you. Your majesty.

( Even now he's into the idea of it, laughing as he jerks himself off as fast as he can.)

( if he weren't so far gone, he'd probably do something to jesper for calling him that. stop moving, stop him from jerking himself off, something.

but there's no way that he's going to stop himself from what he's doing now. he wants to come and he wants to see jesper come underneath, make a mess of the both of them in a true sign of sated satisfaction.

so, he tables the punishment for later. but he's definitely not going to be forgetting. he speeds his thrusts up, chasing his release, chasing that feeling of pleasure. he knows jesper's going to take care of himself so he focuses on getting himself off.

it surprises him when it happens, hitting him with enough force that he gasps out jesper's name. he buries himself deep inside of jesper and comes with a moan and another breathy gasp of the other man's name. )

( Jesper's gray eyes are fixed on his face as he starts to climb toward release, hungry as he watches him lose control of anything but his movement inside of him. It's a very pretty picture and he locks it away in his mind. It's nice to bring back when he's lazy and getting himself off at another time.

He murmurs at Nikolai as he pushes harder, an array of yes in moans, and a rising demand of give it to me. Nikolai's doing exactly that, causing sensations to pound into his pleasure just as the man is doing the same, but he holds on until he feels Nikolai jerk inside and fill him. Only then does he stroke himself as fast as possible to chase after his own orgasm. He aims himself at that perfect muscular chest so he can paint it with his own come and cries out Nikolai's name.

It takes him a little while to breathe again and he uses his clean hand to stroke Nikolai's face, cupping his cheek, caressing his lips. Enjoying the view.)

Damn, you're as good at that as I fantasized about.

(Oh yeah, he definitely dreamed more than once of Nikolai slamming him into a bed.)

Stay inside me a few moments, I like feeling you.

Oh, you're going to make my already enormous ego so much bigger.

( he almost slurs the words, sounding sated and satisfied. so, when jesper tells him not to move, he hums his affirmative because it's not like he wants to go anywhere just yet either.

he drops his head down against jesper's shoulder and sighs. )

I had no idea I was being fantasized about.

It's only fair since you're doing the same for me.

( As if either of them needs more ego! But why not? They're having sex, they can do whatever they want. He runs his fingers through Nikolai's sweaty hair when he drops his head down, kissing his cheek. He sneaks his other hand down and playfully squeezes that perfect ass because he isn't done touching Nikolai as much as he can. He does reluctantly unwind his long legs from around Nikolai as silent permission for him to pull out if he wants to, he did go a bit boneless there. He likes the embrace though, the closeness.)

You're lying or oblivious. ( He laughs.) I wasn't subtle. As if I could ever resist a handsome man, let alone one that has a royal background so we could play out the good king slash bad boy fantasy.

( That is why he brought up the romance book idea in the first place. Being defiled by a king is flattering and sexy.)

It's not bothersome I find your title hot, is it? I assure you, the rest of you is also hot.

It's not bothersome.

( nikolai takes a slow breath and then rolls off of jesper and onto his side, settling down and stretching but making no further moves to leave.

he tucks an arm underneath his head and gets a little more comfortable. )

I haven't told many people about it outside of those that already know. I don't want them to treat me differently right off. So, Sturmhond rides again and all that.

( Jesper immediately turns on his side to mirror Nikolai, staying close, reaching out to run his hand along the line of Nikolai's body. He never stops touching when he has permission to. Over his other arm, along his hip, down to his thigh and then back up again. A gentle but forward caress.)

Don't worry, having sex with Sturmhond the sky pirate is also very hot.

( It's not as forbidden as a royal having sex with a criminal, it makes them both criminals, but it's still them so it's hot. Those are all just fun titles anyway. Jesper's mostly pretending a world where he still is a gang member, not a merchant who plays by the rules. (So boring.))

I wanted to join your crew so much. Not so much I'd leave the Dregs, but to have one sky adventure would be great.

( The heist he did with Nikolai and Zoya was on the ground so less fun, although no less important. For Wylan, he only did it because they said it would help Inej, but Jesper just heard 'heist' and was fully in. As per usual.)

You're not actually telling people your name is Sturmhond are you?

No, I've told them my real name but no one knows me from anyone else. So, I can be a Lantsov and still be a pilot of a ship that only exists in my Horizon.

( right now, at least. )

Thorne is already a bit of a shady place so I'd rather them not know that I'm some kind of royal for any reason. I don't want to be looked at any closer than they already are.

Do you miss it, or do you prefer it?

( Jesper knows not everyone wants to be royalty. It's a born thing, and some make their best out of it, and some see it more as a cage. He would see it as the latter, his need for freedom to do whatever he wants too high. He knows by rumors that Zoya became queen, but not necessarily by marrying her, so whatever is going on there, he's not sure. It doesn't sound like she stole it.

Jesper loves the time that sex gives him to learn more about someone in between bouts. And he fully plans on climbing on top of Nikolai once they've caught their breath, but for now he's curious. He only has sex with people he finds genuinely interesting. Otherwise it's boring.)

The Thorne royalty's a bunch of nutcases, you made the right choice there.

Do I miss Ravka?

( a good question with an answer that changes quite often. he's quiet for a moment before he shrugs a shoulder. )

It's home. And they need a king. Without me, I don't know what will happen. I can't deny that I like not having the weight of all that on my shoulders for however long I'm here.

( he could be whoever he wanted to be here. )

But, Ravka will always be home and I have obligations and duties that I have to return to.

( Jesper is not a fan of Ravka, even if he is a fan of the man in his bed. He's spent his entire life hiding from both Ravka and Fjerda, avoiding the army and death by burning. While he would never have called himself patriotic, he loves Ketterdam, and he does consider the Zemeni his people in a way he still doesn't think of the Grisha. He can understand having reasons to go back, especially for a responsible type.

He hmmms at that and leans in to kiss Nikolai's shoulder, pressing them up to the curve of his neck. A Ravkan royal between his legs, something he never would have expected.)

I wish you were in the Free Cities. I think you'd like the, well, freedom. No royals to worry about offending there. We're still captured, but you can do a lot more.

( Jesper really has to stop getting so close to Thorne Summoned, it makes him more and more aggressively certain that he has to help them escape into his arms. He runs his fingers casually along Nikolai's spine.)

It does sound like my kind of place.

( he smiles against jesper's mouth, sighing wistfully. thorne isn't terrible but it can be...suffocating. and difficult. )

Do people ever change factions? Is that even possible?

The only time it happened was right after I arrived, there was a peace conference where they allowed people to change. Inej moved from Solvunn to the Free Cities to be with me.

( Jesper would have gone mad in Solvunn. It was so outside of his comfort zone. Going back to the farmboy life would have made him crawl out of his skin and try to force his way into the Free Cities. She had grown to like the quiet colony there, but he thinks that she's enjoyed the life she's made with him and the others.)

Outside of that, I think it near impossible to do. That was before any real aggression between the factions. I am hoping to find a way to get people in Thorne out, many of them feel trapped there.

Don't worry, I'm not looking to try and change.

( even if thorne was, yes, very confining. he doesn't even know where he'd go or how. if he had his ship, it would be easier but that's a no go. )

Thorne isn't the most inviting place in the world, you're right. It's suffocating at times.

I don't trust Thorne. I'm not saying the Free Cities are free from controversy, but Thorne's done some shit since the start.

( And Jesper is at his heart a protector. He was always the second in command for Kaz but also the one to look out for others, the gun at someone's back, the person aware of word on the street or trouble in the gang. Now he's emotionally compromised on another person in Thorne, but it's fine. He likes emotional complications. It's better than feeling nothing.

He leans forward to kiss Nikolai's neck, over to his shoulder, down his arm and then playfully stealing it so he can press his lips across the bicep and to each of his fingers.)

Just look out for yourself, yeah? I need my king to keep enjoying these shenanigans with.

Don't worry, I always look out for myself.

( here, he doesn't have to worry about an entire kingdom to look after first and foremost so his priority will be himself and his friends. )

You'll get another go round like this soon.

( he can promise that. )

( Jesper smirks and hooks a leg around Nikolai's hip, pushing so he can gracefully put Nikolai on his back and settle on top of him.)

How about sooner rather than later?

( He waggles his eyebrows and leans in to steal a kiss.)

Abraxas Inbox

IC Inbox

Early March, Early April » Gift

package, june 2

Magic Message - Night of the Attack

Re: Magic Message - Night of the Attack

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I think them leaving letters to each other is ADORABLE

a day after libertas attack

Re: a day after libertas attack

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sometime vaguely after shit hits the fan

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