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[itookashot]

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[outwear]

I do know that, yeah.
Thanks for the reminder.
I meant are you in one piece?
I should have been specific.

[itookashot]

Oh Saints did he end up torturing people over there too? It's fine when I'm doing it, but he clearly can't handle it.

Yeah, mate, we're alright, I think we're getting everyone back in one piece. They made us take two of the bad guys though, weird. Guess they helped them get out.

[ He'd rather kill them. Also no, he has no idea about Dean. ]

[outwear]

I'm really glad you're okay.
Something happened to Dean.
He was helping during the rescue
and was killed by a sea creature.
I'm sorry. It didn't feel right to wait.
But I needed time to gather myself.
I wanted you to hear it from me.
He would have wanted you to know.

[itookashot]

[ That is the last thing Jesper expected. He pauses in what he's doing, lagging behind as he attempts to process that. Loss was a way of life in Ketterdam, that's why their common phrase was no mourners, no funerals. To keep your hopes low. It doesn't make it hurt less, especially considering how close everyone is in Cadens. He takes in a sharp breath and lets it out, a few minutes pass by without a response. ]

Sam, I'm so sorry. Dean was my friend, but he's your brother.

[ Jesper sometimes thought of him like a big brother figure, something he always wanted, but it's different from really being one. He hasn't quite adapted to the reality of what he's saying since he can't fully use past tense yet.]

Is there anything I can do for you?Once I get back I can help spread the word so you don't have to do this a dozen times.

[outwear]

[ It hasn't been easy for Sam who wants nothing more than to leave this to someone else. But that's not how it's done in their family. It takes him a little while to answer. ]

Thanks, that would help.
If anyone has questions
you can send them to me.
And I'll keep you posted.

[itookashot]

If there's anything I can do once this is over, even if it's just buying a drink for our sorrows, let me know.

[outwear]

Thanks, I think I will
take you up on that.
If you need me before then,
I'm still helping out.

[itookashot]

We'll be back with the others soon. We'll have all the drinks after.

Is Jo with you? Castiel?

[outwear]

We're together, yeah.
We're all still processing.
I'm worries one of them
is going to run off to rage.

[itookashot]

Castiel must be fucked up from the pit anyway, maybe see if you can get Jo to focus by looking after him while he heals? If it's framed like it would be what Dean would want, she might.

[outwear]

She'd see right through it.
At least the two of them
seem to be holding onto
each other for the moment.
If they get into trouble
it'll be the both of them.

[itookashot]

Well you can always tell them the truth. That you're handling your grief as best as you can and you'd really appreciate it if they kept it together for you too. Because none of you need more shit to go wrong right now.

[outwear]

Yeah, that's not how
we do things, sadly.
I wish it was, but...
You know how goes.

[itookashot]

Sorry, mate, wish I was there. I could just make the two of them pass out and save you the effort.

Wylan TDM moved here

[itookashot]

[ooc: full link]

"I will have you know I have become very mature and dignified and meditative over the past year." He can't even keep a straight face over that. It's too ridiculous.

Jesper laughs and pushes him playfully. "It's easy to meditate when it takes you to another world where anything you can imagine is created. Wait until you see my cabin, oh and I can show you television." Wanda showed him enough television that he was able to make one of his own, although he can only remember things she and Dean have shown him over time. But they're still worth seeing.

"I have a music room too, your flute ...." He pauses, realizing how revealing it is that he has Wylan's flute in his Horizon even now. "It's there, well, a version of it."

Re: Wylan TDM moved here

[demoexpert]

Wylan really isn't sure what Jesper is talking about. Tele-what? He's about to ask when he realizes what else Jesper says. His flute? He feels himself blushing and he averts his eyes down. Jesper hasn't seen him in a year and he still kept Wylan's flute in a music room.

His lips curl up into a smile and he looks up at Jesper. "I can't wait to see it." He pulls him in again pressing their lips together gently.

[itookashot]

Jesper may admit later that he kept the Van Eck mansion as his domain for fully eight months before letting it go and creating the cabin. They may not have had a long time together, but it was the type of thing difficult to let go of. Keeping Wylan's flute was something he needed to have. Now more than ever, with his new memories. But he still didn't see this coming.

Now that Wylan is here and kissing him it would be so easy to just reconcile. "I need to tell you ... two more major things. Before we can do more kissing." Jesper has to do the right thing by both of them. He couldn't allow any false pretenses.

"When I first came here, in the timeline it was the same as yours. But I recently got an entire year of memories from home, of us, and some ... other interesting developments. Including a Grisha become Queen of Ravka." Insane, yes, but more importantly, the fact that he remembers being with Wylan more than one night. Much more. It puts them at such opposite places.

"The other thing is ... Wylan, you know me." Jesper sighs, cupping his cheek. "I've been here awhile so I have other lovers. Including, um." He makes a face, this is going to be the hard one, really, because of the strangeness. "Kaz."

[demoexpert]

Wylan pulls back, a little disappointed that Jesper is stopping them but he gets it, mostly. It's just that it's still new for him, that he can do this, and he kind of wants to kiss him all the time. It's not his fault Jesper has perfect lips.

"A year? A good year?" He asks curiously. " A Grisha queen? What happened to King Nikolai?" He's going to ask another question when Jesper keeps talking and then well.

He blinks up at him. Other lovers stings, but he gets it, he does know Jesper, and he wasn't here. They only really had a day, maybe two, of whatever this was. Can he hold that against Jesper? And then Jesper says a name he would never have expected.

"Kaz? Kaz Brekker?" He's sorry, can you repeat that Jesper?

[itookashot]

"A really good year," Jesper confirms. It was actually painful when he woke up with it and found himself in this terrible situation, still hurting from heartache, trying to take care of all the people he loved. There was a time when he first arrived and a year with someone seemed very unlikely, but then he met Mat. And now this. "He abdicated and she was elected or something, very insane, to be honest. We went on a mission together before all that happened."

So they went on a mission with the King and Queen of Ravka! Strangest experience in retrospect. But obviously. This other part is more important. And awkward. Jesper sighs and drops his hand down away from Wylan and rubs it across his jaw instead.

"Yes. Kaz Brekker. Also ... Inej in emotional terms, technically." By that he means they haven't had sex but they have kissed and Jesper feels she is on par with his other lovers because the romantic connection is there. "They're also a thing, obviously." Something very well known to all of them. His piece in it is just new. Jesper doesn't know how much they've done, but it doesn't matter.

"I love them. Just as I love you." There is nothing more sincere in that moment than the look on Jesper's face and the intensity of his gaze. "And I know you are not where I am that way, I had a year, remember, but it's still the truth. My heart is just something I've been sharing for a time."

[outwear]

If it doesn't help them
maybe it would help me.
I keep thinking that
I could have done more.
But I know that's the
exhaustion and grief.
The urge to fight has
been dogging me all day.

[itookashot]

There's no way to logic out of a feeling like guilt.

Maybe you and Jo should spar. Might sound crazy considering everything, but you both have to get it out some way.

[outwear]

I might have to do that.
Thanks for the advice.
I'll catch you soon
and we'll get that drink.

[itookashot]

Take care, Sam. I'll see you when we get this lot back. And again. I'm sorry about Dean.

[demoexpert]

He feels like he needs to sit down. But he already is sitting down.

Love. Jesper loved him? And he loved Kaz and Inej and other people? None of this was anything Wylan knew how to deal with. He wasn't even sure if he loved Jesper- no, that wasn't true. He knew he loved Jesper, he was just nowhere near ready to start acknowledging that. They had been kissing for two days, Jesper was going to live with him but they hadn't exactly talked about it. He was only just starting to accept that he was someone who was capable of being loved. That he was good enough. Was he good enough?

It was like watching Jesper with Kuwei all over again, only he was just hearing about it. Still, that uncomfortable feeling rose up in him and he moved back, putting space between them so he could breathe. "I don't know what you want me to say."

[itookashot]

Jesper lets him go because he wants to respect him having space to figure shit out. It's not as if any of this is easy, and he gets that, he really does. He agreed to monogamy with Wylan because he wanted to see what it was like and he felt he could do it. And it was true. For that year, he never touched anyone else, and he was happy. But things changed for him here.

"You don't have to say anything. I just don't want to lie to you or hide anything." He's miserable about it. He always knew this could happen and that he would need to have this conversation if it did. The last thing he wants to do is hurt him. "You deserved to know before you kept kissing me."

Jesper sighs and looks away from him. "Wy, what I've found is that my heart isn't cut into one piece. It can be cut into many pieces and it's still all real. I love you, I really do. You don't have less of my heart because other people have parts of it."