itookashot | Abraxas Inbox

Maybe I should be asking how YOU are then.

I'm angry.

I understand.
I'm angry, too.

Too bad deep lake diving wasn't a calming experience.

I'd say it's Dean you should worry about, but I'm pretty sure you already know that.

I do know that, yeah.
Thanks for the reminder.
I meant are you in one piece?
I should have been specific.

Oh Saints did he end up torturing people over there too? It's fine when I'm doing it, but he clearly can't handle it.

Yeah, mate, we're alright, I think we're getting everyone back in one piece. They made us take two of the bad guys though, weird. Guess they helped them get out.

[ He'd rather kill them. Also no, he has no idea about Dean. ]

I'm really glad you're okay.
Something happened to Dean.
He was helping during the rescue
and was killed by a sea creature.
I'm sorry. It didn't feel right to wait.
But I needed time to gather myself.
I wanted you to hear it from me.
He would have wanted you to know.

[ That is the last thing Jesper expected. He pauses in what he's doing, lagging behind as he attempts to process that. Loss was a way of life in Ketterdam, that's why their common phrase was no mourners, no funerals. To keep your hopes low. It doesn't make it hurt less, especially considering how close everyone is in Cadens. He takes in a sharp breath and lets it out, a few minutes pass by without a response. ]

Sam, I'm so sorry. Dean was my friend, but he's your brother.

[ Jesper sometimes thought of him like a big brother figure, something he always wanted, but it's different from really being one. He hasn't quite adapted to the reality of what he's saying since he can't fully use past tense yet.]

Is there anything I can do for you?Once I get back I can help spread the word so you don't have to do this a dozen times.

[ It hasn't been easy for Sam who wants nothing more than to leave this to someone else. But that's not how it's done in their family. It takes him a little while to answer. ]

Thanks, that would help.
If anyone has questions
you can send them to me.
And I'll keep you posted.

If there's anything I can do once this is over, even if it's just buying a drink for our sorrows, let me know.

Thanks, I think I will
take you up on that.
If you need me before then,
I'm still helping out.

We'll be back with the others soon. We'll have all the drinks after.

Is Jo with you? Castiel?

We're together, yeah.
We're all still processing.
I'm worries one of them
is going to run off to rage.

Castiel must be fucked up from the pit anyway, maybe see if you can get Jo to focus by looking after him while he heals? If it's framed like it would be what Dean would want, she might.

She'd see right through it.
At least the two of them
seem to be holding onto
each other for the moment.
If they get into trouble
it'll be the both of them.

Well you can always tell them the truth. That you're handling your grief as best as you can and you'd really appreciate it if they kept it together for you too. Because none of you need more shit to go wrong right now.

Yeah, that's not how
we do things, sadly.
I wish it was, but...
You know how goes.

Sorry, mate, wish I was there. I could just make the two of them pass out and save you the effort.

If it doesn't help them
maybe it would help me.
I keep thinking that
I could have done more.
But I know that's the
exhaustion and grief.
The urge to fight has
been dogging me all day.

There's no way to logic out of a feeling like guilt.

Maybe you and Jo should spar. Might sound crazy considering everything, but you both have to get it out some way.

I might have to do that.
Thanks for the advice.
I'll catch you soon
and we'll get that drink.

Take care, Sam. I'll see you when we get this lot back. And again. I'm sorry about Dean.

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