itookashot | Abraxas Inbox

Nah, never had any trouble with that. I was born the friendliest person in town and I am undeniably likable.

[ Not a single moment of uncertainty or self-esteem issues. ]

But my closest friend is bad with people, I wouldn't say he's afraid of them, but they exhaust him and he doesn't know what to say. Social situations are uncomfortable. He was our gang leader so he had to engage to some extent, but it's easier to be logical and get shit done as a boss. Less so as a person.

Have you met Kell over in Thorne? You two might have some things in common. He's a good lad, heart of gold, but gets nervous with social expectations. Basically just saying you're not the only one who doesn't have it easy that way. Maybe you lot should make an introvert club.

I know a few people like that. Like Claude and Hilda. I would be jealous, but your lives seem exhausting and incompatible with sleeping 16 hours a day.

Is that so? I despise being in charge of anything. It simply leads to more expectations and ways to disappoint people, and more guilt when one of my people is hurt and I was unable to prevent it.

I like Kell. I do not know if the feeling is mutual as I tried to set him on fire. I had an introvert club with a friend back home. We liked to sit in silence together. I would research and she would draw or write.

Oh yeah I don't sleep much. Don't need to. I get energized by other people and I live in the inn with a bunch of them.

Kaz is a control freak, he gets satisfaction off of telling people what to do. It's very cute of him. It helps he only cares about a very small list of people's opinions. Everyone else doesn't matter. Smart way to keep his sanity, I'd say.

Why did you try to set him on fire?

I'm always tired. Even if I sleep for 14 hours. The only time I haven't been that I remember is right after I got here. Usually I sleep during the day and take 1 or 2 naps during the evening or night hours.

I guess that works for him. He sounds like a less social version of Edelgard. She also has a lot of control issues. We argue a lot as I do not like being told what to do. Kaz is right in that other people's opinions are irrelevant unless there is some practical reason to attend to them.

I was not in my right mind. I would not normally do such a thing; I do not like hurting people.

Sounds like you might have a medical condition.

You don't like being told what to do? I would've never guessed. You seem so easy going and relaxed. (This is sarcasm, in a teasing way.) (In case that doesn't translate to text.)

I'm sure it's fine. Kell's not one to hold a grudge if you weren't in control of yourself.

None of the healers who examined me were able to find anything - I am lazy. I prefer napping to most activities. Even on the battlefield on occasion.

[He 100% has a medical condition.]

That is me: Easygoing, loyal, and completely unconcerned with the future consequences of my actions. (That is also sarcasm.) I might be more amenable if the things I were told to do were less stupid. Maybe not. Probably not.

I still owe him an apology. I should not have been near one of the creatures without making plans for things going awry. That was my responsibility and I was too arrogant.

Well maybe healers don't know everything, what about medical doctors?

What kind of stupid things were you told to do?

Oh you had one of the beast arcanas. Eh, to be fair to you, we weren't really prepared for that. It wasn't until near the end when we even figured out that it meant anything. More ignorance than arrogance, I'd say.

Of course we don't know everything. There is no distinction between the two in Fodlan, but information on some things has been repressed over the centuries. We have no information on the problems that Edelgard has, for example.

Fighting and spending my time sitting in classes and meetings when it was more efficient to learn or catch up on my own. I don't see why I should sit through a 2 hour meeting when I can be given the information in 15 minutes and then sleep for an hour and 45 minutes.

It was arrogant to assume that something unexpected would not happen when I have been informed that a lot of strange things happen here. Even some of my own magic does not function properly. I should not have assumed.

So do your healers do things like use medicinal herbs and study the biology of the body? Because in my experience sometimes it's not about just healing with magic, it could be something biologically off with you.

Yeah I hate those meetings. So I didn't go. Kaz was pretty good at just telling me what he needed so I didn't have to bother, or making it quick. Sounds like you had annoying leaders. We are criminals though, not military or whatever you guys are.

Oh no, you're human and sometimes make mistakes, something many other people did during this experience!

Yes, we do, but our studies were hampered. I am doing my best to push past the restrictions the Church has placed on us, but we do not have the tools that I think we would need, such as telescopes and microscopes. I am trying to create some back in Fodlan, but it is difficult to do while with a marching army.

Yes! Yes, they are annoying! Not just Edelgard, but also Ferdinand, especially since he's one of the ones we have to back up and explain very basic things to. We are the army of the Empire of Adrestia. It is not a very well-run Empire, as evidenced by me being in charge of anything.

Fine. I still feel culpable. If I accept your logic, why isn't the emotion leaving? It is annoying.

You should talk to Nadine in Free Cities or Claire in Solvunn, they might be able to meet up with you in Nocwich for tests. They're both medics, not magical healers. It sounds like something medical is going on with you, mate. Might as well ask.

Well congrats you're no longer in an army, you can just hang out and learn what you want. Thorne's sort of a trash place but there's good people there in the Summoned.

Emotions aren't logical, they're the opposite. Best to just shrug and accept it. It'll go away eventually, it's normal to linger on feelings until you naturally move on.

There is nothing preventing a magical healer from being a medic. I am one, the world I am from is simply rather unadvanced. I have spoken with Nadine and have a great deal of respect for what she has accomplished; I would not waste her time with a problem that was not dire.

I know. I am pleased about that. Why do you say that Thorne is a trash place? Is it worse than the Free Cities or Solvunn? There are good people in all of the nations and amongst Summoned and non-Summoned alike, I imagine. I cannot think of a group of people that does not contain both good and evil people.

Yes, I will ignore them and they will go away.

Why don't you let her decide if it's worth her time? If you respect her so much.

It's a trash place because they started this whole thing and then jailed the Summoned, and they're trying to keep you lot caught like a bird in a gilded cage. If you aren't afraid of Thorne's royalty, you haven't been there long enough. You're all one bad temper away from going into the dungeons again, and no one's powers work down there, they can block them.

The Free Cities and Solvunn aren't good either, but we have a lot more freedom. Physically, which is important to me, I hate staying still. Solvunn's got too much religion and farmland. Cadens isn't so bad.

No I said ACCEPT THEM and then they'll eventually go away.

[The man has a point.]

Do you think this would interest her or do you believe she would only be concerned about my wellbeing?

I am more annoyed than frightened. I am not surprised the dungeons can restrict our abilities: My nation has magically restricted holding cells and that is one of the first things any nation would do when Summoning from a security perspective. Summoning something or someone you can't control would be a security risk.

I am glad that you have some freedom of movement, though I worry it may be false freedom. At least Thorne is open about being run by authoritarians. I would prefer that to deception or lies. Be careful.

Yes, that is what I said. I will do nothing and they will go away. I have research to do instead.

[Ignoring and disassociating from his feelings is the same thing as accepting them, isn't it?]

With Nadine, it'd probably be both. She's curious, she likes knowing things. If it turns out something of interest, she'll be able to help other people too. If it turns out not to be a big deal, whatever, at least you'll both know.

[ Jesper knows Nadine extremely well, they're Cadens family. ]

Eh, even if it's false, it's still freedom. They could come down on us at any time, but that's true of all three. We still get to live every day until that doing whatever we want. Also, I'm pretty hard to catch. Something they don't know.

I'm never careful but it's sweet you're concerned. I bet you are very cute. I should add you to my book.

If you believe she would be curious, I will consult her.

I do enjoy being able to do as I please. I am fortunate that what I wish to do is spend my time in libraries and bookshops. Thorne does not mind that I spend my time studying and sleeping. I may feel differently when the resources available to me here stop being sufficient.

[Linhardt isn't going to restrict himself to only learning what Thorne wants him to learn. There is always more, and their information restrictions are foolish. Stupid.]

I retract my worry. If you are going to be not careful, I hope it is in a way that you find enjoyable.

I do not know if 'cute' is the adjective I would use to describe myself. I am 177 centimeters tall and less muscular than Claude and Sylvain. I have dark green hair - slightly darker than a pine tree - and blue eyes that lean purple similar to a blooming cornflower if you have those in your world. My skin is approximately the same shade as Sylvain's. My Arcana sign is that of the High Priestess.

If there is any other information you would like, you may ask.

[It doesn't matter that Linhardt is not interested in the looks or sexual inclinations of the Summoned. Jesper is and that is good enough reason to offer him the information. Linhardt believes that everybody has the right to indulge their interests, whether he shares them or not, and Jesper has been helpful.

He also doesn't believe in topics being 'inappropriate'.]

Yeah just tell her the deal. The amount of time you sleep, how you feel, if it gets in the way of your general life, etc. She and Claire the doctor in Solvunn do it because they like medicine, of course they'd be interested.

I almost exclusively do what is enjoyable. What's the point of life if it isn't fun?

I'll add you, although if we get a chance to meet in person, that will make it easier to make sure my entry is accurate. Also, do you like men, women, no one, anyone?

Just because they like medicine does not mean my particular situation would interest them. Healers have a variety of reasons for practicing and not all of us practice out of intellectual curiosity. Some do so because they like people and want to help them. I also knew at least one healer that preferred treating animals to people. I will ask them, however.

You have the correct philosophy towards life. I do not see the point of a life lived for duty if it means that someone is forced to be devoid of joy. Joy and pleasure is its own end; it does not need to be justified.

Accuracy is important.

I do not care about the sex of my lovers - men and women are equally enjoyable.

I'm glad to find someone who agrees with my life philosophy. Want to make out some time?

Yes. This situation is very stressful and I need something less so.

[And since Jesper is a stranger and does not live in Thorne, he is safer to be intimate with.]

Great! If you spot me in Nocwich or the Horizon come say hi. I'm tall, dark hair, gray eyes, very attractive, usually wearing a bright green long coat and have guns. I stand out.

Would we be kicked out if we engaged in the hot springs? The water feels nice.

No idea if we would, but we should definitely try and find out.

If we get caught, it's your fault.

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