It's a good thing Jesper looks away because Wylan winces at his words. He feels himself pulling back into himself like he hasn't in months, not since they started the ice court job.
"I really need you to stop saying that." He tries to keep his voice steady and he's pretty sure he does a good job at it.
There is a pause and then he nods, moving back on the bed a little to give Wylan space. "I understand. Let's just ... talk about this place and what you need to know." Jesper doesn't need an exact answer from Wylan now and it's stupid to even imply as much. He's stated his feelings and where he's at, that has to be enough.
Except who knows if it'll ever be enough. If he can ever be enough. He thought he was for Mat and look how that went.
"Um, if you want to go into the Horizon, I can take you."
Wylan shakes his head. If he gets any more information he thinks his brain might explode, or he might burst into tears and he does not want to cry in front of Jesper again. One time was bad enough.
"No-I think. I think I need to go...take a walk or something?" He stands up and then pauses. Jes per hasn't actually asked him to stay here with them. "I don't- uh. I don't want to go back to that military base though."
Jesper's been so on edge lately that even one more touch at his abandonment issues makes him want to throw up. He swallows it down and looks at the floor. "I get it, I'm around." For when he needs someone, always.
"Oh, uh. Just ask Mags, the woman downstairs. She'll get you set up in a room here. All the Summoned get to live here." He would suggest he stay with Kaz but that could be weird right now too. As long as he's in the inn, he's safe.
Wylan nods, not sure why that feels even worse. He doesn't need someone to help him set up accommodation, he did it on his own before he can again. He's the one that needed some space.
"Oh, okay. I'll...I'll be back later then. We can. We can talk more?" He needs to leave before he makes this worse. He glances at Jesper and feels his own heart break as he makes for the door, pulling it open and stepping outside. he closes it behind him before letting himself lean against it softly. Letting his eyes well with tears for a moment before he swallows them down, he won't be that person anymore. He pushes off the door and goes to do what he said. A walk to clear his head.
Wylan's reappearance has made everything more complicated, and that is saying a great deal. He thought it was bad enough for him to get a year of a happy life placed into his head, although at the time it just made him glad to know that things worked out for them back there. Because he still thought it would mean it is not his life anymore. Then Wylan's here and it's all wrong. Just his luck.
He watches Wylan go, wanting so much to reach out and beg him to stay or ask for his patience. He's had a shitty month and it was nice to sit with him again, to touch him. Instead Jesper just sits there dejected and once Wylan's gone he lies on his back on the bed and puts his hands over his face. Just another fantastic day.
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itookashot) wrote2022-01-31 12:16 pm
no subject
"I really need you to stop saying that." He tries to keep his voice steady and he's pretty sure he does a good job at it.
no subject
Except who knows if it'll ever be enough. If he can ever be enough. He thought he was for Mat and look how that went.
"Um, if you want to go into the Horizon, I can take you."
no subject
"No-I think. I think I need to go...take a walk or something?" He stands up and then pauses. Jes per hasn't actually asked him to stay here with them. "I don't- uh. I don't want to go back to that military base though."
no subject
"Oh, uh. Just ask Mags, the woman downstairs. She'll get you set up in a room here. All the Summoned get to live here." He would suggest he stay with Kaz but that could be weird right now too. As long as he's in the inn, he's safe.
no subject
"Oh, okay. I'll...I'll be back later then. We can. We can talk more?" He needs to leave before he makes this worse. He glances at Jesper and feels his own heart break as he makes for the door, pulling it open and stepping outside. he closes it behind him before letting himself lean against it softly. Letting his eyes well with tears for a moment before he swallows them down, he won't be that person anymore. He pushes off the door and goes to do what he said. A walk to clear his head.
and finished
He watches Wylan go, wanting so much to reach out and beg him to stay or ask for his patience. He's had a shitty month and it was nice to sit with him again, to touch him. Instead Jesper just sits there dejected and once Wylan's gone he lies on his back on the bed and puts his hands over his face. Just another fantastic day.