[It is not easy for Kell to say it. What Jesper does not and cannot know, is how truly hard it really is for him. How confusing, how utterly terrifying it is not only to think but to say those words out loud. How much time Kell spent specifically, intentionally not thinking about them. Trying to avoid defining what he feels, because he does not understand it one bit, and staring at something he does not understand is like staring into his own inner darkness. He does not know what to expect, it frightens him, and he's all too used to running away from things he fears. Yet, finally, miraculously, laboriously, the burning need to say the words won.
Most often, Kell's recklessness stems not from courage or conviction, but from a wish to skip over the paralyzing fear of looking at himself and not recognizing what he sees. There are so few people that make him look. That take time, have patience, to hold his hand as he does. Rhy was always the first to succeed in it. Now Jesper has his own way of doing it.
Kell doesn't need much encouragement. He rolls to his back easily. Eager to feel the weight of Jesper's body on him. Relaxed and content by the promise, and the anticipation of more to come.]
Oh yes, Jesper. I want to feel you.
[Breathless and still dizzy from the kiss, he shivers. All the sweet promises already lighting his blood on fire. Saints, it's unbearable how much he wants this. They're only kissing, it has no right to feel this good. But it's always been Jesper's special talent to be able to reduce Kell to a trembling mess solely with his words. A strategically placed kiss, a caress, those work too. They do not detract from the power his words have.]
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Most often, Kell's recklessness stems not from courage or conviction, but from a wish to skip over the paralyzing fear of looking at himself and not recognizing what he sees. There are so few people that make him look. That take time, have patience, to hold his hand as he does. Rhy was always the first to succeed in it.
Now Jesper has his own way of doing it.
Kell doesn't need much encouragement. He rolls to his back easily. Eager to feel the weight of Jesper's body on him. Relaxed and content by the promise, and the anticipation of more to come.]
Oh yes, Jesper. I want to feel you.
[Breathless and still dizzy from the kiss, he shivers. All the sweet promises already lighting his blood on fire. Saints, it's unbearable how much he wants this. They're only kissing, it has no right to feel this good. But it's always been Jesper's special talent to be able to reduce Kell to a trembling mess solely with his words. A strategically placed kiss, a caress, those work too. They do not detract from the power his words have.]
Mhhhm, I know you will. You always do.