If I was on the outside, with Wilhelm and Mat and Istredd in? I probably would have done the same. I would have done everything to get them back. And I mean everything.
[They both have sides to themselves that are pretty scary. Kell doesn't know what to think about that he's more fine with himself being monstrous that he is with feeling weak. As if some of the cold steel of White London seeped into his blood through all those visits over the years, and stayed there. But he knows what he sees, because he recognizes it in himself.]
That's desperation. You were desperate. In desperation, we can do unthinkable. [He knows he did. The black, spidery lines of the magic seal on his chest are evidence of it.] But you came back.
[There's determination in Kell's voice to get his message across. Not only for Jesper. He is saying it to him, yes, but he's also saying it for himself as much. He needs to believe that no matter how far he'd go off the rails, he'll be able to come back. For Rhy. For Istredd, for Jesper, and Mat, and Kyle... he has so many people here to come back to.]
You came back for them.
[Kell closes his eyes, he kisses Jesper, whispering against his lips.]
You came back for me. I think that's pretty awesome.
[Saints, it must be love. What else can it be? They're telling each other things that would have scared away most people, but Kell sees this as dedication. Something he has too. Something that can, and did, make him do horrible things. And instead of being repulsed, it makes him attracted to Jesper more. Their shadows match, and it's terrifying, and beautiful, and powerful. But Kell is not attracted to Jesper's shadow, but to that even having it, Jesper is still Jesper. The shadow is part of him, but not all about him. He can shake it off. Break away from its influence. His light shines stronger for it, and to Kell that's irresistible.]
no subject
[They both have sides to themselves that are pretty scary. Kell doesn't know what to think about that he's more fine with himself being monstrous that he is with feeling weak. As if some of the cold steel of White London seeped into his blood through all those visits over the years, and stayed there. But he knows what he sees, because he recognizes it in himself.]
That's desperation. You were desperate. In desperation, we can do unthinkable. [He knows he did. The black, spidery lines of the magic seal on his chest are evidence of it.] But you came back.
[There's determination in Kell's voice to get his message across. Not only for Jesper. He is saying it to him, yes, but he's also saying it for himself as much. He needs to believe that no matter how far he'd go off the rails, he'll be able to come back. For Rhy. For Istredd, for Jesper, and Mat, and Kyle... he has so many people here to come back to.]
You came back for them.
[Kell closes his eyes, he kisses Jesper, whispering against his lips.]
You came back for me. I think that's pretty awesome.
[Saints, it must be love. What else can it be? They're telling each other things that would have scared away most people, but Kell sees this as dedication. Something he has too. Something that can, and did, make him do horrible things. And instead of being repulsed, it makes him attracted to Jesper more. Their shadows match, and it's terrifying, and beautiful, and powerful. But Kell is not attracted to Jesper's shadow, but to that even having it, Jesper is still Jesper. The shadow is part of him, but not all about him. He can shake it off. Break away from its influence. His light shines stronger for it, and to Kell that's irresistible.]
To me, you are perfect.