[Jesper doesn't have to ask him twice. Kell sheds his coat and kicks off his shoes to join him on the bed. He snuggles as close as he possibly can. Him seeking comfort from the other person is not even rare. It practically never happens. That it does with Jesper is evidence to how far they have gone together, and how much Jesper in all that he says and does affects Kell. Unusual, amazing, impossible, challenging, but always, always in a good way. Makes him think, makes him see things differently.]
I never thought about it this way.
[He admits readily, because this is Jesper, and just as he said, he trusts Jesper. It feels like a privilege when Jesper shares some of his horror with him. It's only then that Kell understands what he said first.
Kell reaches for Jesper's hand, intertwines their fingers. He knows, he understands the black, burning poison of just wanting to erase someone from the face of the world. He killed people in the past. Not in anger, no, this would be too much like him. He did it cold and methodical. Slowly planning and executing his vengeance. Made them feel they were dying. Bone magic makes up for an awfully painful way to die.]
It's awful. It's fucked up. I know that's not you, but I understand it.
[Kell has no illusions what his training was all for. What he was expected to do in case Rhy was in danger. But this is different. It's the rage that does not go away even if after the danger did.]
So do I. I'm not proud of it. Not at all. It just is what it is.
[Thing is, they're both killers. Kell led sheltered life so he didn't have to fight for survival. Lila called him spoiled princeling, and she was right, but he has an edge to him that Rhy doesn't.
He was against leaving any acolytes alive. Even those that surrendered. He obliterated the pair that got on their trail when they were fleeing through the mountains. Call it self-defense, and it even was, but his use of force was so excessive that he shocked Dante who was there with him.]
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Date: 2023-11-21 12:34 pm (UTC)I never thought about it this way.
[He admits readily, because this is Jesper, and just as he said, he trusts Jesper. It feels like a privilege when Jesper shares some of his horror with him. It's only then that Kell understands what he said first.
Kell reaches for Jesper's hand, intertwines their fingers. He knows, he understands the black, burning poison of just wanting to erase someone from the face of the world. He killed people in the past. Not in anger, no, this would be too much like him. He did it cold and methodical. Slowly planning and executing his vengeance. Made them feel they were dying. Bone magic makes up for an awfully painful way to die.]
It's awful. It's fucked up. I know that's not you, but I understand it.
[Kell has no illusions what his training was all for. What he was expected to do in case Rhy was in danger. But this is different. It's the rage that does not go away even if after the danger did.]
So do I. I'm not proud of it. Not at all. It just is what it is.
[Thing is, they're both killers. Kell led sheltered life so he didn't have to fight for survival. Lila called him spoiled princeling, and she was right, but he has an edge to him that Rhy doesn't.
He was against leaving any acolytes alive. Even those that surrendered. He obliterated the pair that got on their trail when they were fleeing through the mountains. Call it self-defense, and it even was, but his use of force was so excessive that he shocked Dante who was there with him.]