Oh sweetheart. [ He shakes his head. ] You are so much more than a shield or a weapon.
[ Jesper reaches up to cup Kell's face in his hands, gray eyes staring deeply into his mismatched eyes. ]
Listen to me, whoever made you think that's all you're good for, fuck them. You belong to yourself. Even when you also belong to other people, you belong to yourself. Your existence doesn't hinge on someone else.
[ Jesper isn't a selfish person, he isn't saying it from an egotistical 'only I matter' way. But he does believe that people need to be at home in their own skin before they can do a thing for others. He's learning that himself, when he struggles to accept parts of himself that he hates, but he knows that he has to keep going. There's no stopping point that's acceptable. He's always very confident in himself and that is a necessity; to be who he is, you need that.
Jesper belongs to other people. His lovers, his crew, his family (found and real), he's always been a communal kind of guy. He cares about the whole. But if he has to live at home in himself, he can do that. He might not always like what he sees in the mirror but it's still him. ]
Baby, come on, stop that. [ Jesper kisses him gently, and then his cheeks and his forehead, sweet and soft and soothing. ] You have a right. You're my lover, my friend, my sweet Kell. You didn't drag me into anything, I came willingly.
[ He'd really like to punch Kell's tormenters straight in the face, whoever it was that convinced him he didn't deserve any good things in life. Jesper is aware that he's talking about Rhy, about his existence as his protector, he knows that much, but he also knows enough about Rhy to suspect that isn't how he sees Kell either. But neither of them can force Kell to see himself as clearly as others do. ]
You were traumatized, same as everyone down there.
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[ Jesper reaches up to cup Kell's face in his hands, gray eyes staring deeply into his mismatched eyes. ]
Listen to me, whoever made you think that's all you're good for, fuck them. You belong to yourself. Even when you also belong to other people, you belong to yourself. Your existence doesn't hinge on someone else.
[ Jesper isn't a selfish person, he isn't saying it from an egotistical 'only I matter' way. But he does believe that people need to be at home in their own skin before they can do a thing for others. He's learning that himself, when he struggles to accept parts of himself that he hates, but he knows that he has to keep going. There's no stopping point that's acceptable. He's always very confident in himself and that is a necessity; to be who he is, you need that.
Jesper belongs to other people. His lovers, his crew, his family (found and real), he's always been a communal kind of guy. He cares about the whole. But if he has to live at home in himself, he can do that. He might not always like what he sees in the mirror but it's still him. ]
Baby, come on, stop that. [ Jesper kisses him gently, and then his cheeks and his forehead, sweet and soft and soothing. ] You have a right. You're my lover, my friend, my sweet Kell. You didn't drag me into anything, I came willingly.
[ He'd really like to punch Kell's tormenters straight in the face, whoever it was that convinced him he didn't deserve any good things in life. Jesper is aware that he's talking about Rhy, about his existence as his protector, he knows that much, but he also knows enough about Rhy to suspect that isn't how he sees Kell either. But neither of them can force Kell to see himself as clearly as others do. ]
You were traumatized, same as everyone down there.