Jesper Fahey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
itookashot) wrote2022-01-31 12:16 pm
itookashot) wrote2022-01-31 12:16 pm
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Don't tell me that.
[ She gasps, giving him the lightest push against his shoulder with a finger. Hilda's expression looks completely contrary to her words. The thought of anyone gifting her something, particularly pretty things, will never fail to bring her some level of delight. ]
Otherwise you might never hear the end of requests from me and then I'm going to have all of your lovers coming after me. I can't run that fast.
[ It's mostly a joke. She'd never put anyone to work like that without paying them back in kind somehow whether that's paying for the materials herself or providing them some sort of compensation. The intensity of the simpering pose fades and she's left contentedly watching him eat. ]
Have you thought about doing it seriously while you're here? Fashion I mean.
[ She gasps, giving him the lightest push against his shoulder with a finger. Hilda's expression looks completely contrary to her words. The thought of anyone gifting her something, particularly pretty things, will never fail to bring her some level of delight. ]
Otherwise you might never hear the end of requests from me and then I'm going to have all of your lovers coming after me. I can't run that fast.
[ It's mostly a joke. She'd never put anyone to work like that without paying them back in kind somehow whether that's paying for the materials herself or providing them some sort of compensation. The intensity of the simpering pose fades and she's left contentedly watching him eat. ]
Have you thought about doing it seriously while you're here? Fashion I mean.
[ Jesper listens to him talk about the darkness and about the aftermath of the Pit, and he's not the first person to express this kind of struggle. Kaz and Inej hate talking about it, but they have, and he thinks if he hears anything more specific at this point, he'd just go kill all of the imprisoned acolytes. He wants to every day, sometimes he lets himself daydream about their deaths, quick or slow, and knows he can't actually do it. Not now, at least. But he's tempted, and he's tempted again, listening to Kell.
They deserve to die, especially for the fact that months later Kell's still afraid of the dark. For a moment Jesper's eyes are very dark, not their usual light silver, as he contemplates the amount of blood he'd like to spill, but he focuses instead on what he can actually do. Which is be there for Kell. ]
You're not broken, you're a survivor of something terrible, and you survived because you're strong. You were traumatized, love, but you can heal, you just need to give yourself more time. It doesn't go away all at once.
[ Jesper knows it's frustrating. He hopes that going back to the island, if they're allowed to, will provide people with some closure. It's the only thing he can think of outside of time, and no one wants to be that patient here. He's still cringing from the heralds last year. ]
I think you should talk about it more. You can always talk to me, but I think he'd want to be there for you too, given the chance. Relationships need to go both ways.
[ Technically they displayed that just in the past few minutes. Jesper sharing some of his past, Kell sharing his feelings, this is a back and forth that is of the healthy variety. It's not that Jesper thinks Rhy is avoiding topics, he just doesn't necessarily have the full picture, and he's a good man, he should. ]
Well sure, he's a prince there, yeah? Gotta be better than being a captive in an alien world. Doesn't mean he wants you to keep your feelings locked up from him because you feel differently.
They deserve to die, especially for the fact that months later Kell's still afraid of the dark. For a moment Jesper's eyes are very dark, not their usual light silver, as he contemplates the amount of blood he'd like to spill, but he focuses instead on what he can actually do. Which is be there for Kell. ]
You're not broken, you're a survivor of something terrible, and you survived because you're strong. You were traumatized, love, but you can heal, you just need to give yourself more time. It doesn't go away all at once.
[ Jesper knows it's frustrating. He hopes that going back to the island, if they're allowed to, will provide people with some closure. It's the only thing he can think of outside of time, and no one wants to be that patient here. He's still cringing from the heralds last year. ]
I think you should talk about it more. You can always talk to me, but I think he'd want to be there for you too, given the chance. Relationships need to go both ways.
[ Technically they displayed that just in the past few minutes. Jesper sharing some of his past, Kell sharing his feelings, this is a back and forth that is of the healthy variety. It's not that Jesper thinks Rhy is avoiding topics, he just doesn't necessarily have the full picture, and he's a good man, he should. ]
Well sure, he's a prince there, yeah? Gotta be better than being a captive in an alien world. Doesn't mean he wants you to keep your feelings locked up from him because you feel differently.
I already told Claude I had extra ideas on top of that. Knee-high tall boots to go with it, special colorful hair ties.
[ Jesper has an eye for these things and he knows what will look good on her. Well, everything would look good on her, but he likes aesthetics. He started her out with one piece but he already has in mind a whole outfit. It's the way he thinks, and it's also why he always looks so put together. It's not just pants and shirt or jacket, he wears layers, and they're all intricately designed, colorful. He's made an entire wardrobe since coming here. ]
It's okay we can split Sylvain's time with me, I'll bring you new things and jump into his bed.
[ An ideal situation, really. Jesper adores Sylvain, the two of them are really alike and so quick to laugh and have a good time together. He's a little protective of him too, in the sense that he doesn't think Sylvain is used to other people protecting him, he's the protector. Another thing they have in common.
The question throws him as if it is genuinely something he's never considered, and that's because it hasn't. He makes clothes all the time for other people and himself, and he sells bits and pieces, but professionally? ]
No, I haven't. Strangely. [ Jesper puts his food down for a moment, that's when you know something is serious. ] I've always loved fashion and my powers make it easy, but I guess I've seen it as a fun side hobby.
[ Jesper has an eye for these things and he knows what will look good on her. Well, everything would look good on her, but he likes aesthetics. He started her out with one piece but he already has in mind a whole outfit. It's the way he thinks, and it's also why he always looks so put together. It's not just pants and shirt or jacket, he wears layers, and they're all intricately designed, colorful. He's made an entire wardrobe since coming here. ]
It's okay we can split Sylvain's time with me, I'll bring you new things and jump into his bed.
[ An ideal situation, really. Jesper adores Sylvain, the two of them are really alike and so quick to laugh and have a good time together. He's a little protective of him too, in the sense that he doesn't think Sylvain is used to other people protecting him, he's the protector. Another thing they have in common.
The question throws him as if it is genuinely something he's never considered, and that's because it hasn't. He makes clothes all the time for other people and himself, and he sells bits and pieces, but professionally? ]
No, I haven't. Strangely. [ Jesper puts his food down for a moment, that's when you know something is serious. ] I've always loved fashion and my powers make it easy, but I guess I've seen it as a fun side hobby.
Jesper, you're going to make me swoon. I don't know whether to tell you to keep talking or stop.
[ Her eyelashes flutter and she cups her cheeks giving herself the impression of a blushing maiden being showered with affection. And honestly, it sort of is. Whoever said that money and objects couldn't buy happiness hadn't met Hilda. At this rate she'd have to have a word with Claude about stopping Jesper from going ahead and making all of the things he had described.
The mention of splitting Sylvain's time snags on something, bringing her joking to a grinding halt in her mind. She'd never had a problem with Jesper and Sylvain spending time together before and she still didn't even with recent revelations on her part. At least, she didn't think it did.Thankfully it doesn't do much else except freeze her smile into place for a beat longer before she gracefully rolls out of it. Why think about feelings when she'd much rather talk about fashion? ]
Maybe you should. People would pay for the things you make. And I don't mean that in a, "you should extort people," way. I just think that all artists should be paid for their talents.
[ Her eyelashes flutter and she cups her cheeks giving herself the impression of a blushing maiden being showered with affection. And honestly, it sort of is. Whoever said that money and objects couldn't buy happiness hadn't met Hilda. At this rate she'd have to have a word with Claude about stopping Jesper from going ahead and making all of the things he had described.
The mention of splitting Sylvain's time snags on something, bringing her joking to a grinding halt in her mind. She'd never had a problem with Jesper and Sylvain spending time together before and she still didn't even with recent revelations on her part. At least, she didn't think it did.Thankfully it doesn't do much else except freeze her smile into place for a beat longer before she gracefully rolls out of it. Why think about feelings when she'd much rather talk about fashion? ]
Maybe you should. People would pay for the things you make. And I don't mean that in a, "you should extort people," way. I just think that all artists should be paid for their talents.
[ooc: continued from here]
( Jesper is currently not thinking or caring too much about the situation outside of getting to explode Nikolai's mouth thoroughly, his hands greedy as they move underneath his shirt to caress the soft skin of his back. The library seems quiet at the moment, he would feel people nearby if they were, his abilities making matter very clear to him. At the very least he thinks he can get away with being saucy if they're quick.
Jesper goes down to his knees right then and there, crafty fingers moving swiftly to Nikolai's pants to start to undo them. He does have a tendency to like public or semi-public sex so this is the mischief he tends to inspire other people into. He smirks up at Nikolai but does give him the option to stop him if he wants. They're doing this together. )
Shhh.
( Jesper puts a finger on his lips, his gaze playful.)
( Jesper is currently not thinking or caring too much about the situation outside of getting to explode Nikolai's mouth thoroughly, his hands greedy as they move underneath his shirt to caress the soft skin of his back. The library seems quiet at the moment, he would feel people nearby if they were, his abilities making matter very clear to him. At the very least he thinks he can get away with being saucy if they're quick.
Jesper goes down to his knees right then and there, crafty fingers moving swiftly to Nikolai's pants to start to undo them. He does have a tendency to like public or semi-public sex so this is the mischief he tends to inspire other people into. He smirks up at Nikolai but does give him the option to stop him if he wants. They're doing this together. )
Shhh.
( Jesper puts a finger on his lips, his gaze playful.)
Listen if I can't get you to swoon the best way I know how, showering you with gifts is a happy second place.
[ Jesper will always, always flirt, whenever given the chance. And Hilda's gorgeous, funny, charming, kind. He also loves getting stuff. Money and objects can absolutely buy happiness, he's a criminal, he knows that only too well. And as a gambling addict, sometimes that's not always the best thing, but for him it was the rush more than the money. He just also really loves money. Being rich is something he never got to be before.
Jesper's extremely perceptive so he notes something is a little off with her, but he is also someone who lets things slide. If she wants to talk about it, she will, he's not going to press unless there seems to be a door at least slanted open. Claude learned that himself when Jesper gently tried to poke at the situation with him and Hilda, but he did leave himself open to a talk there. So he's a good listener. He and Sylvain have been lovers for a year now. He doesn't understand everything about the way this trio works. ]
You know, it's funny because I've made all my clothes, and for the Crows, and all our costumes and looks at the events we've gone to, but just ... didn't think about it outside of that.
[ And by now Hilda's seen the costumes and formal wear he's talking about, especially from the masquerade. It's all made by Jesper and he had a great time putting together the dramatic and fun looks, but he left it at that in his brain. This is dawning on him now that it doesn't have to be a hobby. But Hilda may see the very rare occurrence of Jesper doubting himself, which is hardly ever witnessed.]
I don't know, professionally, though? Do you really think so?
[ Jesper will always, always flirt, whenever given the chance. And Hilda's gorgeous, funny, charming, kind. He also loves getting stuff. Money and objects can absolutely buy happiness, he's a criminal, he knows that only too well. And as a gambling addict, sometimes that's not always the best thing, but for him it was the rush more than the money. He just also really loves money. Being rich is something he never got to be before.
Jesper's extremely perceptive so he notes something is a little off with her, but he is also someone who lets things slide. If she wants to talk about it, she will, he's not going to press unless there seems to be a door at least slanted open. Claude learned that himself when Jesper gently tried to poke at the situation with him and Hilda, but he did leave himself open to a talk there. So he's a good listener. He and Sylvain have been lovers for a year now. He doesn't understand everything about the way this trio works. ]
You know, it's funny because I've made all my clothes, and for the Crows, and all our costumes and looks at the events we've gone to, but just ... didn't think about it outside of that.
[ And by now Hilda's seen the costumes and formal wear he's talking about, especially from the masquerade. It's all made by Jesper and he had a great time putting together the dramatic and fun looks, but he left it at that in his brain. This is dawning on him now that it doesn't have to be a hobby. But Hilda may see the very rare occurrence of Jesper doubting himself, which is hardly ever witnessed.]
I don't know, professionally, though? Do you really think so?
If you insist. But only if you let me shower you with gifts in return.
[ As always she's so quick to give in. There's an art to the form of give and take after all. And she's not so entirely selfish that she wouldn't shower Jesper with gifts in return even though a part of doubts being able to match the artistry that he's able to create out of thin air. Wanda's works echo in her mind though; it shouldn't be a comparison game. That of course is easier said then done - but she moves on quickly, not wanting to dwell on it longer than she should.
To be fair, she didn't even know what to make of whatever it is she had with Claude and Sylvain. The former was essentially a five to six year mess of bad timing and miscommunication and the latter was so new that she still wasn't fully convinced that it was true. It's no wonder that she'd rather focus on this odd emotion she's never seen on Jesper before than address her feelings that are tinged with jealousy that she can't rid herself of.
Tilting her head to the side, she watches him. The doubt is familiar only in the sense that she often wears it herself. ]
Why not? You could start small. Like taking select commissions for people in town, or asking Jaskier or Julie to wear whatever you make so that people will take notice of it.
[ Her eyes brighten, getting swept along with this idea of Jeseper's talents making themselves known. ]
You could do some work for the stage to expand your reach too! The Old Public Hall is always looking for some stunning costumes and I'm sure that the seamstresses would love working with you. In fact I know they will.
[ As always she's so quick to give in. There's an art to the form of give and take after all. And she's not so entirely selfish that she wouldn't shower Jesper with gifts in return even though a part of doubts being able to match the artistry that he's able to create out of thin air. Wanda's works echo in her mind though; it shouldn't be a comparison game. That of course is easier said then done - but she moves on quickly, not wanting to dwell on it longer than she should.
To be fair, she didn't even know what to make of whatever it is she had with Claude and Sylvain. The former was essentially a five to six year mess of bad timing and miscommunication and the latter was so new that she still wasn't fully convinced that it was true. It's no wonder that she'd rather focus on this odd emotion she's never seen on Jesper before than address her feelings that are tinged with jealousy that she can't rid herself of.
Tilting her head to the side, she watches him. The doubt is familiar only in the sense that she often wears it herself. ]
Why not? You could start small. Like taking select commissions for people in town, or asking Jaskier or Julie to wear whatever you make so that people will take notice of it.
[ Her eyes brighten, getting swept along with this idea of Jeseper's talents making themselves known. ]
You could do some work for the stage to expand your reach too! The Old Public Hall is always looking for some stunning costumes and I'm sure that the seamstresses would love working with you. In fact I know they will.
( oh, is that what's going to happen right now? he laughs when jesper makes the move, head thumping back against the shelves before he looks down. )
Shhh yourself.
( which it looks like he's going to do in a different way than nikolai's going to have to be quiet. )
I can be quiet. Don't worry, no one will know what you're about to do.
Shhh yourself.
( which it looks like he's going to do in a different way than nikolai's going to have to be quiet. )
I can be quiet. Don't worry, no one will know what you're about to do.
Well you can make a little bit of noise.
( Absolute silence during this wouldn't be much fun either. He trusts Nikolai knows what he means though. Not so much that people would go looking, although it's possible smart people would hear them and know what's going on. He doubts it's the only time people have hooked up in a library, he's heard that the Draconae are open-minded about sex.
He tugs Nikolai's clothing down to pool at his ankles for now, but it won't be difficult to pull it all up quickly if they need to. Jesper likes to take his time with this so he'll have to find a happy medium since they can't be too slow. He puts a hand into his own jacket and pulls out a little vial of lubriant. Yes, he's always prepared. That's one of the benefits of 30 pockets in his clothes. It's so he can make it more comfortable and slick when he wraps his hand around Nikolai and strokes him, curling his tongue on the underskin of the head.)
( Absolute silence during this wouldn't be much fun either. He trusts Nikolai knows what he means though. Not so much that people would go looking, although it's possible smart people would hear them and know what's going on. He doubts it's the only time people have hooked up in a library, he's heard that the Draconae are open-minded about sex.
He tugs Nikolai's clothing down to pool at his ankles for now, but it won't be difficult to pull it all up quickly if they need to. Jesper likes to take his time with this so he'll have to find a happy medium since they can't be too slow. He puts a hand into his own jacket and pulls out a little vial of lubriant. Yes, he's always prepared. That's one of the benefits of 30 pockets in his clothes. It's so he can make it more comfortable and slick when he wraps his hand around Nikolai and strokes him, curling his tongue on the underskin of the head.)
( congratulations on being a little more prepared than nikolai. he'll be honest and say he hadn't really expected this when he came into the library. usually you didn't encounter this kind of thing surrounded by books.
he blows out a breath and then laughs huskily when jesper gets a hand around him he licks his lips. )
Make a little bit of noise, huh? Maybe say your name so people remember who's who?
he blows out a breath and then laughs huskily when jesper gets a hand around him he licks his lips. )
Make a little bit of noise, huh? Maybe say your name so people remember who's who?
( Jesper is ready at all times, he is that guy. His sex drive is high and he finds people in general attractive. But Nikolai's someone he has had his eye on for a long time so he is taking advantage while he has the chance. It would be easy for them to go to a room, although those don't have doors regardless, but it seems they're both down for enjoying the moment. He wants that body on his eventually though. He wants to have his mouth on every part of him.
For now he is more than eager and ready to have it on this part of him. Jesper laughs, his breath on Nikolai's hard skin.)
Darling, I always want to hear my name.
( He licks him stem to tip, sighing happily.)
I have no real gag reflex. Use that knowledge as you will.
(He is done talking now though, not when he has a feast in front of him. Jesper holds him steady and dives right in, proving that exact fact when he covers Nikolai, taking him all the way into his wet hot mouth.)
For now he is more than eager and ready to have it on this part of him. Jesper laughs, his breath on Nikolai's hard skin.)
Darling, I always want to hear my name.
( He licks him stem to tip, sighing happily.)
I have no real gag reflex. Use that knowledge as you will.
(He is done talking now though, not when he has a feast in front of him. Jesper holds him steady and dives right in, proving that exact fact when he covers Nikolai, taking him all the way into his wet hot mouth.)
[ Jesper's not really familiar with jealousy himself; he can tell it in other people, since he's so intimately involved with others, but he doesn't really know the feeling. It's probably what made it obvious to him here that he was meant for a more open-minded lifestyle. He and Wylan have gotten past their issues and that was the last piece he needed, given how worried he was about his ex's feelings on the matter. But he's the last person to judge about anything emotion-wise. They're all just human after all.
Which is why he's showing some of his own human vulnerabilities at the moment, the rare display of doubt. He didn't think he could be a merchant at all until he made it happen and started developing trinkets, but he always told himself that was out of necessity. This would be intentionally making things for other people to consume that he actually cares about. A much harder task. ]
I suppose I could get started with costumes, yeah.
[ It's a simple enough starting point and if he works with the professionals, he'll be able to tell if he has what it takes from there. Jesper has already been making clothes for a long time so he's better than he thinks, but when it comes to things that matters, he's much harder on himself than most people know. ]
Well what about you? You've got a flare like I do, and you've been making things using your enchantment skills and stuff, yeah?
Which is why he's showing some of his own human vulnerabilities at the moment, the rare display of doubt. He didn't think he could be a merchant at all until he made it happen and started developing trinkets, but he always told himself that was out of necessity. This would be intentionally making things for other people to consume that he actually cares about. A much harder task. ]
I suppose I could get started with costumes, yeah.
[ It's a simple enough starting point and if he works with the professionals, he'll be able to tell if he has what it takes from there. Jesper has already been making clothes for a long time so he's better than he thinks, but when it comes to things that matters, he's much harder on himself than most people know. ]
Well what about you? You've got a flare like I do, and you've been making things using your enchantment skills and stuff, yeah?
[ Human, yes. It's impossible to forget how tender and soft their hearts are, how easily bruised they can become.She preferred her life to be sunshine and rainbows, not so dissimilar to how she dressed and how she tried to present herself to the rest of the world. A bruised heart didn't exactly align with that. Jealousy also felt more like a cold stain that sat at the base of her throat, ready to cut anything that came too close.
But what she perceived to be her own shortcomings would never stop her from supporting those around her. Jesper's answer, however reluctant, lights up her face. ]
Amazing! Once the inn renovations are all wrapped up, I'll set up some time for you to come and meet the head of the costume department. They'll love you.
[ It's not a promise of a job but rather a foot in the door; Krish had a keen eye for design and was a stickler for details. They adored the drama and the fantasy that costume could bring to an immersive experience and the arts. The Hall was lucky to have them. But Hilda also knew how to get the head of costume wrapped around her little finger like the best of them and had spent more than enough time with them to know that Kirsh would immediately take a liking to Jesper and see just how amazing his work was. ]
Me? [ Her enthusiasm fizzles slightly, replaced with a sheepish look. She's quick to dismiss her own passions. ] I guess I have been making some things but it's slower work. I can't just magic things out of thin air like you. And the enchantments are just pretty embellishments than anything useful.
But what she perceived to be her own shortcomings would never stop her from supporting those around her. Jesper's answer, however reluctant, lights up her face. ]
Amazing! Once the inn renovations are all wrapped up, I'll set up some time for you to come and meet the head of the costume department. They'll love you.
[ It's not a promise of a job but rather a foot in the door; Krish had a keen eye for design and was a stickler for details. They adored the drama and the fantasy that costume could bring to an immersive experience and the arts. The Hall was lucky to have them. But Hilda also knew how to get the head of costume wrapped around her little finger like the best of them and had spent more than enough time with them to know that Kirsh would immediately take a liking to Jesper and see just how amazing his work was. ]
Me? [ Her enthusiasm fizzles slightly, replaced with a sheepish look. She's quick to dismiss her own passions. ] I guess I have been making some things but it's slower work. I can't just magic things out of thin air like you. And the enchantments are just pretty embellishments than anything useful.
Ah.
( jesper, of course, manages to catch him by surprise with that comment. what else is nikolai supposed to do but make a sound of pleasure and jerk his hips a bit.
he does get a hold of himself quickly enough, staying still so he doesn't immediately go and choke jesper just as the other man's gotten his mouth on him.
he inhales and holds it before letting it go and reaching down to get a hand in jesper's hair. )
( jesper, of course, manages to catch him by surprise with that comment. what else is nikolai supposed to do but make a sound of pleasure and jerk his hips a bit.
he does get a hold of himself quickly enough, staying still so he doesn't immediately go and choke jesper just as the other man's gotten his mouth on him.
he inhales and holds it before letting it go and reaching down to get a hand in jesper's hair. )
( Jesper doesn't mind the jerk of the hips since it's an obvious reaction to what he's doing, but he doesn't mind a slower unfurling into pleasure which is why he's not immediately going to an all-out assault of stimulation to Nikolai. They haven't been caught yet, they can enjoy it. He likes a hand in his hair when he's doing this and hums around him in appreciation.
He holds Nikolai steady with his hand and starts moving on him, pulling his head off so he's only sucking on the tip before taking him all in again. His lips tighten around him on purpose and he strokes his hand every time he bobs out to give Nikolai extra stimulation. Jesper really loves blow jobs, every time he gives one it's genuinely his pleasure.)
He holds Nikolai steady with his hand and starts moving on him, pulling his head off so he's only sucking on the tip before taking him all in again. His lips tighten around him on purpose and he strokes his hand every time he bobs out to give Nikolai extra stimulation. Jesper really loves blow jobs, every time he gives one it's genuinely his pleasure.)
( not that nikolai is at all surprised but jesper is really very good at this and it's all he can do to moan his appreciation while his fingers clench tighter in jesper's hair.
he thinks he gasps the other man's name right before grabbing at a book nearby to try and give himself something to hold onto.
he does press his hips forwards slightly, hopefully giving jesper time to see that it's coming. at least while he's still in here and now. )
he thinks he gasps the other man's name right before grabbing at a book nearby to try and give himself something to hold onto.
he does press his hips forwards slightly, hopefully giving jesper time to see that it's coming. at least while he's still in here and now. )
Thanks, Jesper. That's probably better way of looking at it. I just ... [Kell shrugs. He doesn't have good words to describe the maddening mix of frustration, anger and fear that flood his brain in those moments. The way it makes his heart race and chest tighten even thinking about it.] I hate being so limited. I hate feeling so, well, weak. [He's an Antari. Nothing like that should have ever happened to him. And yet it did.]
We're not really good at talking. I mean, especially me. Well, actually, mostly me. Rhy is very good at talking. To the point that I don't always know when he's serious or just teasing. But it's also...yeah, getting me to talk usually requires criminal amount of alcohol. Otherwise, it's like pulling teeth.
[That's part of their problem. They know each other for so long and so well, it sometimes slides into expecting that the other would know without asking. Because they so often do. Kell, for his part, hates talking about problems. His usual tactic is to run away, wait them out in hope they will resolve themselves. Definitely not talk.]
Yeah, he wouldn't. He hates it when I keep things from him, and I don't want to, but ... [Kell sighs. A long, tired exhale of someone know he's doing wrong, but can't do right for too many reasons, all of them too complicated. Where in fact, it's actually simple. It's just him making things more complicated then they should be.] I still do. I just, I don't know, I ... I have no idea how to talk about some things. It's a lot. Too much. I don't want to. Like the Pit. I just want to forget about the whole thing, but it fucking keeps coming back all the time. Like as if it won't ever leave me alone. All I want is to forget, and at least pretend I'm like I was before it. Even if I know that I'm not. I just want it to go away.
[Kell never told anyone the whole story. Not even Rhy. Though Rhy got the most. In pieces, across weeks, still not all. Kell shakes his head.]
I just want it to go away.
We're not really good at talking. I mean, especially me. Well, actually, mostly me. Rhy is very good at talking. To the point that I don't always know when he's serious or just teasing. But it's also...yeah, getting me to talk usually requires criminal amount of alcohol. Otherwise, it's like pulling teeth.
[That's part of their problem. They know each other for so long and so well, it sometimes slides into expecting that the other would know without asking. Because they so often do. Kell, for his part, hates talking about problems. His usual tactic is to run away, wait them out in hope they will resolve themselves. Definitely not talk.]
Yeah, he wouldn't. He hates it when I keep things from him, and I don't want to, but ... [Kell sighs. A long, tired exhale of someone know he's doing wrong, but can't do right for too many reasons, all of them too complicated. Where in fact, it's actually simple. It's just him making things more complicated then they should be.] I still do. I just, I don't know, I ... I have no idea how to talk about some things. It's a lot. Too much. I don't want to. Like the Pit. I just want to forget about the whole thing, but it fucking keeps coming back all the time. Like as if it won't ever leave me alone. All I want is to forget, and at least pretend I'm like I was before it. Even if I know that I'm not. I just want it to go away.
[Kell never told anyone the whole story. Not even Rhy. Though Rhy got the most. In pieces, across weeks, still not all. Kell shakes his head.]
I just want it to go away.
( Jesper smiles around him when he hears his name, perfectly said, and he rewards him by sucking on his head a little tighter and stroking his tongue over the tip to taste him. When Nikolai finally pushes forward to take more from him, he'll find Jesper eager and encouraging, letting him take over. Though before it seems like he's getting too into it, Jesper pulls off him, his hand still stroking slowly against his cock so it doesn't stop stimulating.
He glances up at him, gray eyes pure silver when he's turned on like this.)
You can come in my mouth or bend me over this bookshelf and fuck me. I'm for either and we could always wait until we get to a room for you to get inside me, but I'm into it.
( It's up to Nikolai at this point, it really is about his partners and their comfort level. It probably will get a little louder if that's involved but Jesper can handle it, it's just that he is eternally thirsty and he wants this king like crazy. He is never afraid to ask for what he wants or speak his desires out loud and he likes to think his lovers get the idea that they can do the same, so Jesper's interested in Nikolai's opinion.)
He glances up at him, gray eyes pure silver when he's turned on like this.)
You can come in my mouth or bend me over this bookshelf and fuck me. I'm for either and we could always wait until we get to a room for you to get inside me, but I'm into it.
( It's up to Nikolai at this point, it really is about his partners and their comfort level. It probably will get a little louder if that's involved but Jesper can handle it, it's just that he is eternally thirsty and he wants this king like crazy. He is never afraid to ask for what he wants or speak his desires out loud and he likes to think his lovers get the idea that they can do the same, so Jesper's interested in Nikolai's opinion.)
( why do you say those things, jesper? because nikolai's trying to hang on, thinking he'll just come in jesper's mouth but then he has options.
he shudders, hans gripping harder at jesper's hair. he tries to think through the haze of pleasure on what he wants to do. let himself come like this? stop and fuck jesper here? come and then fuck jesper later?
that seems like the best of both worlds, he thinks, before it's hard to think further. )
I'll get you off later. In a room.
( is what he decides before he feels his release coiling tightly in his belly and his hips arch forward while he comes with a probably too loud shout. )
he shudders, hans gripping harder at jesper's hair. he tries to think through the haze of pleasure on what he wants to do. let himself come like this? stop and fuck jesper here? come and then fuck jesper later?
that seems like the best of both worlds, he thinks, before it's hard to think further. )
I'll get you off later. In a room.
( is what he decides before he feels his release coiling tightly in his belly and his hips arch forward while he comes with a probably too loud shout. )
Course, love.
( He teases but then he realizes he's been going at him too fast so Jesper manages to lean in and take him back into his mouth just in time. It's for the best because while he doesn't mind it on his face, that'll be harder to clean up in time for them to leave here. He swallows him down with no problem at all and rubs his pretty ass soothingly as he comes down from his orgasm.
This way is much simpler and he licks Nikolai dry gently, so as not to overstimulate him, but to get him clean. Jesper would love to keep groping said ass because it feels very nice, but instead he reaches down to get Nikolai's pants so they can cover him up. He did shout at the end so this way if anyone comes around the corner, he is covered.
No one does show up so they got lucky. Jesper gets to his feet and enjoys the look on Nikolai's face. Very sweet.)
Saints, you're pretty. Look at you.
( He teases but then he realizes he's been going at him too fast so Jesper manages to lean in and take him back into his mouth just in time. It's for the best because while he doesn't mind it on his face, that'll be harder to clean up in time for them to leave here. He swallows him down with no problem at all and rubs his pretty ass soothingly as he comes down from his orgasm.
This way is much simpler and he licks Nikolai dry gently, so as not to overstimulate him, but to get him clean. Jesper would love to keep groping said ass because it feels very nice, but instead he reaches down to get Nikolai's pants so they can cover him up. He did shout at the end so this way if anyone comes around the corner, he is covered.
No one does show up so they got lucky. Jesper gets to his feet and enjoys the look on Nikolai's face. Very sweet.)
Saints, you're pretty. Look at you.
Edited 2023-11-09 14:30 (UTC)
( all nikolai can do is sag back against the bookshelves, careful not to knock the entire shelf down since that would most definitely draw attention to them.
he slowly let's go of jesper's hair and then swipes his forearm against his face, breathing hard. )
Give me a moment and I'll heap all sorts of praise on you.
he slowly let's go of jesper's hair and then swipes his forearm against his face, breathing hard. )
Give me a moment and I'll heap all sorts of praise on you.
( One book does threaten to fall but before it can, Jesper reaches out and catches it. Nikolai's yell might not have gotten attention but in a library, someone was more likely to come looking if books fell over. He puts a hand on the bookshelves to hold them up and grins, more than a little happy about wrecking him this much.)
Praise I'll take, but don't touch me, we have to make it to a room so you can keep your promises.
( But Jesper is hard and heated and he won't argue if Nikolai does touch him. Once he's certain the bookshelf will survive, he uses his jacket to tug around, it will hide his excitement until they get somewhere else.)
I can't wait to see you naked. I've been thinking about that since we met.
Praise I'll take, but don't touch me, we have to make it to a room so you can keep your promises.
( But Jesper is hard and heated and he won't argue if Nikolai does touch him. Once he's certain the bookshelf will survive, he uses his jacket to tug around, it will hide his excitement until they get somewhere else.)
I can't wait to see you naked. I've been thinking about that since we met.
It's not my first time. Let's go.
( Jesper says with a grin. Walking around with a hard-on, trying to get to a room quickly enough to have a good time. That's practically his state of being. He buttons up the coat which he almost never does but it's the safest way. He hooks a finger into the front of Nikolai's shirt and tugs.
Jesper keeps his hands to himself the entire way to the housing quarters the Nether gave them. Technically there are no official doors but people seem to get that so they've managed to figure out privacy options. Jesper's taken to hooking his jacket on the outside as a warning, a sock wouldn't be good enough, and he does exactly that as he pulls Nikolai into the room.)
Any preferences, your highness?
( Jesper said he wanted to get him naked and he clearly means it, since the first thing he does is try to drag Nikolai's shirt off him rather than do anything about his own hardness.)
( Jesper says with a grin. Walking around with a hard-on, trying to get to a room quickly enough to have a good time. That's practically his state of being. He buttons up the coat which he almost never does but it's the safest way. He hooks a finger into the front of Nikolai's shirt and tugs.
Jesper keeps his hands to himself the entire way to the housing quarters the Nether gave them. Technically there are no official doors but people seem to get that so they've managed to figure out privacy options. Jesper's taken to hooking his jacket on the outside as a warning, a sock wouldn't be good enough, and he does exactly that as he pulls Nikolai into the room.)
Any preferences, your highness?
( Jesper said he wanted to get him naked and he clearly means it, since the first thing he does is try to drag Nikolai's shirt off him rather than do anything about his own hardness.)
You? Not good at talking? I can't see it.
[ Jesper is gently teasing him because of course he knows that about him. It took Kell a while to be willing to talk to him about the sex they were actively having, it's clear he struggles with communication. But Jesper is fantastic at communication in comparison and so is Rhy, they have that in common. But Rhy and Kell have so many of their own issues baked in that it's probably easier for Kell to talk to an outsider.
He runs his fingers through Kell's hair and kisses his cheek so he knows he's playing around. The last thing he wants is to make him clam up around Jesper too. ]
Sweetheart, that didn't even happen that long ago. It's going to take longer than a few months for all of you to get past this, and you lot need to give yourselves a break over it.
[ Inej and Kaz are the same way, and most people he knows who went to the Pit struggle with this. He understands it's because they want it to be over with, which is what Kell's saying, but unfortunately that's not how it all works. ]
Maybe you all need a support group. Talk about what happened to people who actually know. What we went through on the outside was something too, but it's not the same thing. You don't think everyone else is weak because they're struggling, do you? I know you don't, because I know you.
[ Jesper is doing all kinds of physically soothing things as they talk. Touches, letting Kell know he's there, and he picks up his hand to kiss it now, just trying to be there for him in all the ways he can. As comforting as possible. He went through some shit on the outside, like the others, but he doesn't talk about that with anyone. So he's somewhat a hypocrite, it's just a different situation. ]
You are harder on yourself than anyone should be. You aren't weak, and having feelings doesn't make you weak, and needing to talk about your feelings doesn't make you weak. Whatever shit people have told you otherwise is just that, shit.
[ Jesper is gently teasing him because of course he knows that about him. It took Kell a while to be willing to talk to him about the sex they were actively having, it's clear he struggles with communication. But Jesper is fantastic at communication in comparison and so is Rhy, they have that in common. But Rhy and Kell have so many of their own issues baked in that it's probably easier for Kell to talk to an outsider.
He runs his fingers through Kell's hair and kisses his cheek so he knows he's playing around. The last thing he wants is to make him clam up around Jesper too. ]
Sweetheart, that didn't even happen that long ago. It's going to take longer than a few months for all of you to get past this, and you lot need to give yourselves a break over it.
[ Inej and Kaz are the same way, and most people he knows who went to the Pit struggle with this. He understands it's because they want it to be over with, which is what Kell's saying, but unfortunately that's not how it all works. ]
Maybe you all need a support group. Talk about what happened to people who actually know. What we went through on the outside was something too, but it's not the same thing. You don't think everyone else is weak because they're struggling, do you? I know you don't, because I know you.
[ Jesper is doing all kinds of physically soothing things as they talk. Touches, letting Kell know he's there, and he picks up his hand to kiss it now, just trying to be there for him in all the ways he can. As comforting as possible. He went through some shit on the outside, like the others, but he doesn't talk about that with anyone. So he's somewhat a hypocrite, it's just a different situation. ]
You are harder on yourself than anyone should be. You aren't weak, and having feelings doesn't make you weak, and needing to talk about your feelings doesn't make you weak. Whatever shit people have told you otherwise is just that, shit.
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